Montana Love Letter

by Charlotte Carter

  “No.” He turned on the radio and raised the volume, effectively ending the conversation.

  Hurt, and worried he’d be in for a shock one day when his daughter didn’t meet his expectations, Janelle turned away. If he didn’t want and wouldn’t accept her help, there was nothing she could do except pray that God would intervene.

  A good man like Adam could use the Lord’s helping hand. He sure hadn’t gotten the help he’d needed from his teachers or the school district.

  They stopped at Mrs. Murphy’s house to pick up the girls.

  Hailey let Rae climb into the back first and then followed her.

  “Did everything go okay at the tax place?” A fine thread of anxiety laced Hailey’s question.

  “We’re good, squirt. Nothing for you to worry about.”

  Janelle noticed that Adam’s dismissal of Hailey’s concerns hadn’t wiped the frown from her forehead.

  “The IRS man was very nice,” Janelle said. “He accepted the revised tax forms. Your dad will still owe a small amount of money but not nearly as much as we had feared.” Adam had been so thrilled and relieved with the result of the meeting, he’d nearly danced out of the office. And then he’d kissed her. Since that moment his mood had taken a sharp downward turn.

  “Like I said.” Adam gave Hailey a thumbs-up. “We’re good as gold.”

  Hailey visibly relaxed. Janelle was pretty sure Adam had no idea how perceptive his daughter was or how much she learned from conversations around her. A born worrier, she no doubt picked up vibes from her father in the tone of his voice or a troubled expression. She was becoming a very intuitive young lady. Adam appeared oblivious to that trait in his daughter. Down the road, that could be a huge mistake.

  When asked how things went at Mrs. Murphy’s house, Hailey revealed after lunch that Mrs. Murphy had taken them into town for an ice-cream cone.

  Janelle twisted in her seat to see Raeanne. “What kind of cone did you have, sweetie?”

  Raeanne grinned. “Strawberry,” she whispered.

  Hailey’s heart lurched at the sound of Rae’s voice. One more word spoken aloud. One more small step forward. “Bet it was yummy.”

  Still grinning, her eyes twinkling, Rae rubbed her tummy and nodded.

  Janelle was tempted to ask Adam to stop at the Pee Wee Drive-In to get the girls another cone just so she could encourage Raeanne to speak yet another word. Or maybe a whole phrase. But that would be foolish and certainly wouldn’t encourage good eating habits.

  Besides, since her disagreement with Adam, Janelle’s stomach had felt pretty unsettled, and she didn’t think it was from car sickness.

  Once back home, Adam totally ignored Janelle. He quickly changed his clothes and went back to work in the garage.

  Since the girls were engaged in playing with Kitty Cat, Janelle took the opportunity to change out of her suit and put on something more casual.

  Emotionally drained, she sat on the deck in the Adirondack chair and closed her eyes. She hadn’t meant to upset him. Adam had made it clear he wanted no help from her or anyone else. Feeling impotent and stymied in her effort to do what she knew ought to be done was frustrating.

  Adam didn’t have a monopoly on taking action.

  But what could she do to help him that wouldn’t raise his ire?

  Maybe she ought to simply move out to a motel rather than stay here, a thorn in his side. A challenge to his ego and his self-esteem. But she’d never been a quitter.

  When she’d first married Raymond, he had persisted in wearing ill-fitting clothes that made him look like a doddering old professor. To fix the problem, she’d gone shopping. Little by little, she’d improved his wardrobe. After that she’d worked on him to improve his hairstyle.

  She gnawed on her lower lip. Apparently she’d improved his appearance so much that young coeds all across the country had found him attractive. Clearly he had not rejected their attention.

  “Janelle?”

  She started at Hailey’s voice. “Yes, honey?”

  “I just wondered...” A frown creased her young forehead. “Did you and Dad have an argument or something?”

  A very perceptive girl. “The meeting with the IRS was a little stressful, but we’re fine.” Not a full answer, but one she thought would ease Hailey’s mind.

  “You sure? He seemed kind of grumpy. I thought maybe you two—”

  Janelle slipped her arm around Hailey’s waist and tugged her closer. “Your dad has a lot on his mind. He was probably thinking about some broken-down car he needed to put back together because he’d promised the owner he’d be finished by tonight.”

  Hailey didn’t appear totally convinced. “It’s just that I like you and Rae living here and all. If you and Dad got into a fight, you’d probably leave.” She lifted her narrow shoulders in a helpless shrug.

  Kissing Hailey on the forehead, Janelle hugged the child again. “We like it here, too. But you know at some point we’ll have to move to a house of our own.”

  “I know. I just don’t want it to be too soon.”

  A lump formed in Janelle’s throat. A part of Janelle was as reluctant to leave as Hailey was to have her go. Which made her one very foolish woman.

  * * *

  After an early dinner, Adam drove Hailey to a friend’s house for a birthday party and sleepover. Raeanne hadn’t been invited, nor would Janelle have let her go. She was much too young, her emotions still too fragile, for Janelle to feel comfortable with Rae that far out of her sight.

  “Don’t look so glum, sweetie.” Her daughter’s lower lip was puffed out as if she’d been stung by a bee. “Hailey will be back home in the morning.”

  Head down, shoulders slumped, Rae walked over to the couch and climbed up in Janelle’s lap.

  “That’s my girl. I know you’re lonely, but we still have each other.” She hugged her baby girl tight to her chest. Adam’s coldness toward her had dampened her spirits, as well. “I know what we can do. Where are those library books? We’ll have to take them back soon. Why don’t we read them again?”

  With a minimum of enthusiasm, Rae slid off her lap and went to retrieve them from the cottage.

  When she returned, Janelle said, “Okay, up you come. Which book shall we read first?”

  Raeanne handed her The Owl and the Pussy Cat and Janelle began to read. She’d gone through two other books and returned to the first one when she realized Rae was nearly asleep.

  And there was still no sign of Adam. Was he avoiding her? Or had something gone wrong? An accident? Maybe a flat tire?

  She shook her head. If he wanted to keep his distance, so be it. And if there was an accident, she’d hear about it soon enough.

  “Up you go, Rae.” She eased her sleepy daughter off her lap. “It’s bedtime. Do you want to carry Kitty Cat, or should I?”

  Raeanne decided that was her job. Picking up Kitty Cat from the chair where she had been dozing, she carried the kitten to the cottage. The nap had apparently re-energized Kitty Cat, because she leaped up onto the bed and buried herself under a corner of the quilt. Her little head peeked out. She meowed as though saying, “I’m ready for playtime.”

  “Silly Kitty Cat.” Janelle helped Raeanne undress and put on her pajamas. “I don’t think she knows it’s bedtime.”

  When Raeanne climbed into bed, Janelle sat next to her for evening prayers. Rae folded her hands and closed her eyes.

  “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. Wake me to the morning light. Watch over me all day and all night, and keep me safe.” Janelle added prayers for others. “Watch over Mommy and Kitty Cat. Who else shall we pray for tonight?”

  “Hailey,” Rae whispered.

  “Good. And watch over Hailey and her father.” Janelle sent up her own personal prayer that the
Lord would help Adam find peace within himself and seek help for his dyslexia. “We ask this in Jesus’s name. Amen.

  “I love you, Raeanne, more than the moon and the stars and the sky.” She kissed Rae’s cheek. “Nighty-night, sweet girl. I’ll leave the night light on, but if you need me, I’ll be on the deck or in the big house. I’ll come to bed pretty soon. Okay?”

  Sleepy-eyed, Rae nodded, and Janelle slipped out of the room.

  She didn’t feel much like sitting in the empty house and watching TV alone. The Adirondack chair tempted her as it so often had since she’d arrived at Adam’s house. Sitting down, she leaned back to gaze at the stars. She should have picked up an astronomy book at the library so she could tell one star from another. Maybe she would tomorrow. Adam had said he’d teach her. But that was before she’d confronted him about his problem.

  She heard the sliding door behind her open. Felt him step onto the deck.

  “I wondered where everyone had gone.”

  “I just put Rae to bed. Did you get Hailey to her friend’s all right?”

  “Yeah. I stopped at the diner to have coffee with a couple of friends.”

  “Oh.” She had no claim on Adam. He didn’t have to report his whereabouts to her. Despite that, she did wish he’d let her know he’d be late. It was only reasonable she’d worry about him. At least a little.

  “Mind if I sit down?”

  “Of course not. It’s your deck.”

  His jacket made a swishing noise as he sat in the neighboring chair. “There’s a touch of autumn in the air tonight. You ought to have a sweater on.”

  She folded her arms against a sudden rush of goose bumps. “I’m all right. I’ll be going in soon.”

  He was quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry I jumped down your throat earlier. Guess I’m a little sensitive about my, um, problem.”

  “You don’t have to be with me. I understand.” Although she didn’t understand why he hadn’t tried to get help. Or why he was so ashamed of something that wasn’t his fault. There must be hundreds of thousands of people in the country who suffered at some level for their inability to read.

  He remained quiet as she listened to the rustling of small creatures moving through the underbrush and the distant call of an owl.

  “I’d better go check on Rae. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  He stood. “I’ll walk you to the cottage.”

  Her brows lifted. Was this his way of making amends? “All right.”

  She opened the cottage door a crack. To her surprise, she heard Raeanne talking very softly. Curious, she peeked inside.

  “Now, Kitty Cat, you and me and Ruff are having a sleepover. That means you have to go to sleep. No more playing.”

  In the glow of the night-light, Janelle saw Raeanne cover the kitten with a blanket.

  “Now you say your prayers. Now I lay me down and my soul goes to sleep. Amen.” She stretched out on the bed beside her kitty. “I love you, Kitty Cat, more than the moon and stars and sky.”

  Smiling, with tears in her eyes, Janelle took a step back and closed the door. Adam’s arm came around her.

  “She’s talking,” he said.

  “Yes. She’s finding her voice again. I’ve prayed so hard...”

  She swallowed a sob, and he pulled her hard against his chest. He had no idea how much she needed to be held. To feel his strength around her. To believe that he’d forgiven her for discovering his secret.

  It was going to be so hard to leave the man who had helped restore her daughter’s voice, and his child, whom she had grown to love.

  But would she be given a choice?

  Chapter Ten

  Before she went to bed, Janelle emailed her friend Eileen in Seattle. Hopefully she’d have a few ideas for helping Adam’s dyslexia that weren’t too intrusive.

  Her friend’s response came quickly. Although Eileen pointed out there were several types of dyslexia, and no reading program was guaranteed to help, she made several suggestions Janelle could easily implement after only a trip to the general store. Janelle planned to do that following the next day’s edition of house hunting with Sharon.

  When she returned home from her morning excursion, Hailey and Rae were playing a game of grocery shopping in the playhouse, which was well in sight of the garage and under Adam’s watchful eye. They were using canned goods from the kitchen cupboard as props and “paying” for their purchases with water-smoothed stones from the beach.

  She told the girls to come in for lunch. After seeing that they were fed, she made a sandwich for Adam, which she carried out to the garage along with the office supplies she’d purchased in town. Supplies she hoped would help Adam manage his business finances more easily.

  He was leaning against an SUV that he’d been working on. “You’re back.”

  “Sharon took me up to Kalispell to look at a couple of places.”

  He straightened abruptly. “That’s in a big, flat valley and the town is mobbed by more tourists than even we get.”

  “True. But they do have a large school district. The housing prices aren’t much different than here in Bear Lake.”

  “Maybe so.” His scowled deepened and he shoved a hand into the pocket of his overalls. “But I sure wouldn’t want to live there.”

  “I brought you a sandwich.” She placed it on the side of the desk and sat down in his swivel chair, putting her supply of file folders, colored markers and tabs she’d purchased on the desk. “I decided I liked Bear Lake better, too, but it was worth the trip.” Someday soon she’d have to take that ride over the Going-to-the-Sun Road that crossed through Glacier National Park. The views had to be spectacular.

  “Besides, Sharon reassured me about the local school district here. I was worried when you told me about your experiences. Turns out they now have a reading specialist on staff, and a family and child counselor is on call from Kalispell. She says the test scores are above average for the state.” Because Rae was so bright, Janelle definitely wanted her to have a superior education. And if she needed further counseling, it was good to know a therapist was on call.

  “I could’ve told you the local schools are good.” He wiped his hands and came into the office to eat. “So you’re going to stick with Bear Lake?”

  “Assuming I can find a house I like.” One that Adam didn’t shoot down as being inappropriate for one reason or another. She’d begun to suspect a pattern in his complaints about her housing options. So far, she wasn’t quite sure why. He didn’t need a full-time bookkeeper on the premises. Hailey having a young playmate kept her out of Adam’s hair, but that would be less important once school started. She’d have her friends to play with and homework to do.

  “It’s good you’re looking here.” He took a bite of his sandwich. “This is great,” he said around a mouthful of sliced chicken.

  “I used a Dijon mustard with a bit of dill to brighten the flavor.” She spread out her supplies on the desk. “I’ve thought of an easier way for you to keep your records straight. I’m going to color-code the file folders. I’ll use a red tab like this—” she showed him “—for the folder of bills to be paid.”

  He kept eating the sandwich, but a frown appeared, drawing his brows together.

  “When the bill is paid, it goes into the file folder with the blue tab. That’s sort of a soothing color, which seems right for a bill you don’t have to worry about any longer.”

  He nodded but without a lot of enthusiasm.

  “Your bank statements go in the green-tab folder. Money is green, right?”

  “Logical,” he mumbled. “You’re doing this because I’m dyslexic.”

  “I’m doing this to make the record-keeping easier for you and me. There are lots of people who aren’t dyslexic who color-code their records. It makes sense to have a
system that lets you go right to the file you want.”

  “If you say so.”

  Stubborn man! She picked up an envelope that had been delivered that morning in the mail and pulled out the credit-card statement. “Now then, when you receive an invoice, you use one of these markers in the corner. Since this is a bill, you tick the corner with the red marker.”

  He eyed her warily. “Then it goes in the red folder.”

  “Perfect.” She leaned back in her chair wondering if it was sarcasm she’d heard in his voice or indignation. She wasn’t trying to insult him or his intelligence. Color-coding records made sense for everyone. “After you pay the bill and note the check number, you make another tick mark in blue because you don’t have to worry about it anymore. Until tax time, of course.”

  He finished the last of his sandwich and brushed the crumbs from his hands. “So where did you get this bright idea?”

  She tried for a casual shrug. “I worked part-time in an office while I was going to college. Up to the time I got married, anyway. Raymond didn’t want me to work outside the home.” Which, in retrospect, was a mistake, she realized. She should have had her own life and career instead of focusing all of her energy on Raymond, and later Raeanne. Not that she regretted a moment she’d spent with her daughter, but she would be in a much better position for job hunting if she had some recent experience on her resume. “Color-coding files isn’t exactly a new idea.” As Eileen had reminded her in the email.

  “Okay. I guess that’ll work.”

  “I know the tax problem has been resolved, but if you still want me to work for you part-time, I could spend a couple of half days per week keeping the records up-to-date, paying the bills and giving you monthly reports of income versus expenses.”

  “Then I wouldn’t need to fuss with all that color-

  coding business.”

  She gritted her teeth and rolled her eyes. Why on earth was he so resistant to a change that would make life easier for him? Was it his pride? Or plain bullheadedness?