by Sarah Morgan
“I’ll light the log burner. You’re cold because you have no fat on you.”
“If you’re going to make a joke about pizza—”
“I’m not. After the night I had, my sense of humor has fused. I need coffee.” Posy lit the fire and walked to the kitchen. Something was obviously wrong with her sister and she fished around for the right question to ask.
She made coffee and handed her sister a mug. “Look, about what I did—”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does. I shouldn’t have said what I said on the phone to him even as a joke. I shouldn’t have talked to him for so long without hammering on the bathroom door, but he sounded nice and he said he was in love with you and—” she shook her head “—and now I’m sounding like Mom. Sorry. From now on, I’m not interfering in anyone’s love life ever again. I’m here for sympathy, and nothing else. But for what it’s worth, I’m sorry I made things harder for you. It must be really awkward.”
“It’s not awkward.” Hannah closed her hands round the mug to warm herself. “He’s gone.” She walked to the windows, keeping her back to Posy. “You can see for miles from up here. It’s like living in the treetops.”
“Wait—did you say gone? You sent him away? Are you insane?”
“What happened to not interfering or even passing an opinion?”
“It sounded good in theory, but in practice I find I can’t sit here while you tell me that perfect piece of manhood has gone. What exactly are you looking for? I mean, he’s gorgeous, he was sweet with the kids and he obviously loved you. Why would you send him away?”
“I didn’t.” Hannah turned. “When I woke up this morning, he’d left. He got a car to the airport.”
“How? Have the roads been cleared?”
“I don’t know how, but Adam would have found a way. He always finds a way. He’s a fixer. If there’s a way of doing something, Adam will find it. He’s that type of person.”
Posy thumped her mug down on the countertop. “You didn’t know he was leaving? This is how he responds to you telling him you’re pregnant? Because I swear I’ll—”
“I haven’t told him.”
“He didn’t leave because of the baby?”
“No. He left a note saying that he shouldn’t have come. That it hadn’t been fair of him to put that pressure on me. He thought a conversation about it would put even more pressure on me, so he made a unilateral decision.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this right away?”
“I tried to, but you seemed to think I’d come here to black your eye.”
“So he left because he was being thoughtful.” Stupid man. Posy had never felt more out of her depth in her life. She had nothing wise or sensible to say on the subject of relationships. Give her a vertical ice face any day. “And you’re relieved he’s gone.”
“I’m not relieved.” Hannah’s eyes filled. “I spent half the night working out what I was going to say to him, and when I was finally ready to say it, I wake up and he’s not there.”
“You were going to tell him about the baby?”
“All of it. That I love him. That I’m pregnant—” She choked on the words. “Mom and I talked for ages last night. We talked about Luke—”
“Luke?”
“About how he hasn’t let the accident influence the choices he has made. And I realized I’ve let the accident, and my relationship with our father, influence almost every decision I’ve made. Beth is overprotective of her kids, Mom is overprotective of me and I’m overprotective of myself! I use avoidance to protect myself from hurt and it has to stop.”
Posy found it hard to believe she was looking at her strong, secure, sorted sister. “I see that, but you’re assuming he’ll hurt you. Maybe he won’t.” She wished she wasn’t handling this conversation on less than five hours of sleep. “I don’t have anything wise and expert to say. I wish I did. But I do know Adam is a decent guy. A good guy. And I think you already love him, so how is it going to hurt less if you send him away?”
Hannah sniffed. “Since when did you get so good at logic and reasoning?”
“Since I’ve been spending time with my exceptionally smart older sister,” Posy said.
“I don’t think I’m brave enough for love. You throw yourself into it. Look how you are with Luke—we’ll see how it goes—you don’t try and protect yourself. You don’t worry about what happens if it goes wrong. You treat love the same way you treat the mountains—you just get out there and savor every moment.”
“Because I’ve been lucky. I’ve never doubted I was loved, Hannah. I’ve never felt I had to change, or that I wasn’t good enough.”
Posy put her arms round her sister and felt her tense.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m hugging you. I’m reminding you that whatever happens, you’re not on your own. If you’re asking me how to love without being hurt, I don’t know the answer, but if you’re asking me if it’s worth risking hurt to have love in your life, then my answer is yes.” She hoped she wasn’t being too glib about it. If Luke ended up breaking her heart, would she feel it was worth it?
She stood for a moment wondering if she’d said the wrong thing, and then Hannah hugged her back.
“I missed you.”
Posy’s throat thickened. “Missed you, too. You couldn’t handle me being hurt, but look at me now.” She squeezed her sister tightly. “I don’t remember the pain, Hannah. I only remember the love. And that’s because of you. You surrounded me with love. That’s my earliest memory. If I’m confident and secure, it’s because of you.”
Hannah pulled away so sharply Posy almost lost her balance. “I need you to do something for me, before I change my mind.”
“Name it.”
“I need you to tell me which cab company might be able to cope with the weather conditions. I could do it myself, but it will take too long. I want to go to the airport. I’m going after Adam, and I want to do it right now before I change my mind.”
Posy grabbed her jeans from the back of the chair and pulled them on. “I’m your cab. And I don’t charge. You’re going to tell him you’re pregnant? Let’s do this.” She gulped down the remains of her coffee and grabbed her coat. “Call him right now and stop him getting on that plane. We need reinforcements. Where’s my phone?” She found it in her coat pocket and for once had a good signal. She called Beth, who answered in a sleepy voice. “Wake up! We’ll meet you by the car in five minutes... I know you normally need more than five minutes to get ready, but just this once please rise to the occasion. It’s a weather emergency.” She used their childhood code. “Are you listening? You can do your makeup in the car.”
Hannah shook her head. “Why did you wake Beth up?”
“Because this mission may require two of us. One to drive, and one to stop you changing your mind and jumping out of the car. Also, Beth will want to be part of this. You should probably tell her you’re pregnant. She might be able to help you.”
“I told her last night. And I told Mom.”
Posy felt a rush of relief that she no longer had to watch what she said, but also a warmth that Hannah had felt able to tell them. “I’m glad.”
“The only person I haven’t told is Adam. Maybe this is a stupid idea. The airport isn’t the best place to have a conversation like this.”
“Call him.” Posy felt almost as desperate as her sister because she knew this situation was partly her fault. “Please call him.”
Hannah fumbled for her phone. “The signal has gone.”
“Then we’d better hope the planes are iced up and delayed. Move!” Posy grabbed her keys and sprinted down the lane toward the car.
Beth was standing there, her hair tangled and her face free of makeup.
“What’s wrong?” She stifled a yawn. “For the first time ever, the k
ids sleep late and I get woken by my sister.”
“Stop whining. This is a crisis.”
“And I’m here. I answered your SOS. I just wish you’d chosen to have your crisis at a more civilized time.”
“It’s not my crisis. Get in the car.” Posy sprang behind the wheel and Hannah slid in behind her. Beth climbed in next to her and had hardly closed the door before Posy pressed her foot to the floor.
The car screeched out of the drive, bumping over potholes and skidding.
“We’re going to die,” Beth said, “and I can’t die without saying sorry to Hannah.” She twisted in her seat. “I really didn’t mean to yell at you about the whole Santa thing. I feel terrible about it.”
“It’s okay,” Hannah said, and Beth shook her head.
“It’s not okay. I’ve been thinking about it all night. I really am sorry. You are sweet with the girls, and they’re loving spending time with you. And Posy is right that they need to learn they can’t have everything they want and I need to relax more and learn to handle them not being happy the whole time. I’m trying—I really am, but I’m a work in progress. If we survive this car ride, I swear I’m going to try harder.”
“If we survive?” Posy shifted gears and Beth groaned.
“I’m doing it again, aren’t I? Catastrophizing?”
“You’re doing it again.”
“I’m not that brave, that’s all. I’m the sister who liked to play with dolls, not knives. And on that subject, I’d rather not arrive at the airport with blood smeared on my face. It’s not a good look. Could someone at least tell me why I’m risking my life? And it had better be good.”
A moment before, Posy had been exhausted, but now she felt energized. “We are chasing love. More specifically, we are going to catch Adam before he gets on that plane.”
“Why didn’t you say so right away?” Beth brightened. “That’s so romantic. I love it.” She reached back and squeezed Hannah’s leg. “It’s like the movies. We all need makeup. Good thing I carry an emergency supply kit, just in case.”
Posy grinned. “Because a makeup catastrophe is the worst catastrophe of all.” She glanced at the tubes and bottles that appeared on her sister’s lap. “My emergency supply kit includes dressings, sutures, a tourniquet—”
“We encounter different types of emergencies.” Beth applied her makeup with the speed of a pro. “Try to hold the car steady.”
Posy contemplated swerving to be annoying but decided it wasn’t worth having to deal with the fallout. “I don’t know why you’re bothering. You’re not the one declaring your love to a man.”
“I’m an extra. Extras get hair and makeup, too.” She clutched the door as Posy sped along the road. “And when the paramedics come to cut me out of the car, I want to look my best. Do you want to borrow my lipstick, Hannah? A little blush? You look as if you’ve been sucked dry by a vampire.”
“Unlike you, I can’t do my makeup in a moving car.”
“Give me a time check. How long do we have?” Posy glanced in her mirror at Hannah, who was pale and tense. Beth was right; she needed color in her cheeks.
“I’ve checked the departures and there’s a flight leaving in an hour. I’m guessing he’ll be on that one. I’m not even sure I want to do this. I don’t even know what to say.”
“You’re going to tell him the truth. You’re going to tell him you love him. You’re going to tell him you’re pregnant.” Posy swung round a corner and Beth grabbed the door to steady herself.
“I’m excited about this, by the way. I like the idea of being an aunty. I get to have all the very best bits of having a baby without the exhausting stuff.”
“Shut up,” Posy said, “or the next time I swing round a corner I’m opening the car door.”
“All I’m saying is that it’s going to be wonderful. This is thrilling news.”
Hannah closed her eyes. “Terrifying is my word of choice.”
“We all need to be braver.” Posy gripped the wheel as the tires slewed from under her. “Okay, hold on there, I’ve got this—no one panic.”
“It’s a bit late for that.” Beth reached back and handed Hannah her makeup. “You’re the bravest person I know. I couldn’t walk into a room with all those scary CEOs and tell them what to do, and yet you do it all the time. You open a spreadsheet and those numbers mean something to you. They’d give me a panic attack. And you can talk to anyone because you are so well-read you are never stuck for conversation. I know it’s not the same thing and you’ll probably laugh at me, but I was terrified going to meet Corinna that day. I felt like a fraud. So I have a trick I use whenever I’m scared.”
Hannah poked around in the makeup bag and pulled out a lipstick. “Which is?”
Beth flushed. “I pretend I’m in a movie.”
“A movie?” Posy peered through the snow and wondered how fast she dared drive. “Which movie? Something scary and terrifying, I hope. Preferably with dinosaurs.”
“Whatever movie fits the scenario. It’s easier to pretend I’m playing a character than it is to be me. For that interview with Corinna I felt like a fraud. But I dressed the part, and the boots nearly killed me by the way, and before I got in the elevator I told myself I was in a movie, and I was playing a bright young thing who was going to turn the company around.”
Hannah eyed the road ahead, then took a chance and swept the lipstick over her lips. “So I need to think of a movie where a woman chases through an airport to tell a man she loves him?”
“You can write your own movie,” Beth said. “But the part you’re playing is a beautiful, confident woman with great legs and incredible hair—”
“Shallow as a rock pool,” Posy muttered. “I would have gone with big heart.”
“For example,” Beth said, “on the outside you look sleek and together. No one would guess that you’re plotting how to do away with your younger sister.”
“I’m the one driving her to the airport.”
Hannah handed the makeup back. “So I’m a character who is chasing through an airport to tell a man she loves him. Why didn’t I tell him before now? Why leave it until the last minute? Maybe my character is a wimp, like me.”
“Your character is a spy.” Beth found a blusher and handed it back to Hannah. “Use this. You’re a beautiful spy and he’s a spy, too, for the opposite side, so you’ve both been fighting what you’re feeling. Your name is Hannahskya, or Hannahova.”
“Hannah Over sounds like a call sign.” Posy snorted with laughter. “Hannah, Over and Out. There is no way I’d go and see this movie, by the way. It’s going to be a flop at the box office.”
Beth ignored her. “You are both about to embark on dangerous missions, but you have this one last chance to tell him how you feel before you are dropped from an airplane over the mountains of Kazakhstan.”
“There are some great mountains in Kazakhstan,” Posy said. “You could drop me there any day.”
No one was listening to her.
But Hannah did appear to be listening to Beth.
“What if he rejects me?”
Posy heard the vulnerability in her voice.
“He’s not going to.”
Hannah was silent. “I wish I had your confidence. We’re assuming we can even catch him before he flies. He’s not responding to my call. Maybe he doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“He’s probably already on a call. You’re always on the phone and the two of you seem well matched. If you ever get married, you can include that in your vows—‘Do you take this woman and her phone...’”
Posy beeped as a driver pulled out in front of her. “What does he think he’s doing?”
“It’s you I’m worried about.” Beth covered her eyes with her hands. “I’ve been on fairground rides less scary than this. And that’s a statement of fact, not catastrophizin
g.”
“I’m pretending I’m in a movie. I’m playing the part of a getaway driver in a heist.” Posy noticed Beth fiddling with her phone. “Who are you texting?”
“Jason. I want him to know that I love him and the girls, in case anything happens to me.”
“Look on the bright side. Thanks to you at least he now knows how to take care of the kids.”
“If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather he didn’t have to. And, by the way, it is not going to make Mom’s Christmas if all three of us die in the same accident.”
“Catastrophizing!” they all yelled and then started to laugh.
“We’re here!” Posy saw the lights of the airport in the distance. “I’m going to pull up outside and you are going to race into the airport. Try calling him again.”
“I tried a moment ago. His phone is going to voice mail.”
“Then leave a message. Try again because the tension is killing me. I know this is partly my fault.”
“It’s not your fault.” Hannah was trying to smooth her hair with her fingers. “It’s my fault. If I wasn’t so messed up about relationships, I would have told him the truth back in Manhattan instead of running home.”
“Leave the damn message!” Posy swerved out a lane to overtake two more cars and then swerved back again.
Hannah left a message. “Adam, it’s me. If you get this in time, I was thinking—I just wanted to say—”
“Don’t get on that plane! She loves you,” Posy and Beth yelled together, and Hannah hung up.
“That was embarrassing. You do realize he is actually going to listen to that at some point, don’t you?”
“Yes, and we are hoping that point is going to be sooner rather than later. Now get out of the car and run. This is not the time to worry about rejection.” Posy screeched to a halt outside departures and Hannah stumbled from the car.
“Where will you be? How will I find you?”
“We’ll find you.” Posy watched Hannah fly into the airport terminal and wondered if she might be even more nervous than her sister. Adam had probably already left. Or maybe he’d had enough of trying to get Hannah to open up.
