by Sarah Morgan
What if this had been another of her terrible ideas? The last one hadn’t exactly turned out well.
“Follow her, Beth.” She pushed her sister out of the car. “I’ll park and meet you in there.”
“I don’t want to get in the way! You can’t have three people in a love scene.”
“Then pretend you’re an extra! Play the part of an interested bystander or something, but keep an eye on her. If this goes badly, she is going to be in pieces. We’re the ones who are going to pick those pieces up.”
Maybe she hadn’t always been the best sister—in fact, she knew she hadn’t—but it wasn’t too late to make up for it.
28
Hannah
“Excuse me, so sorry—” Hannah sprinted, weaving through people and luggage as she ran.
The airport was packed with people setting off on their Christmas getaway, making forward motion harder. She bumped into people and sent parcels swinging into legs. She dodged trolleys and jumped over bags. Her usual dignity and restraint had abandoned her, which was bad news for anyone in her path.
She collided with a man loaded down with luggage and gasped out an apology, before surging forward and catching another person with her elbow. “So sorry, it’s an emergency—”
Parents grabbed children and pulled them out of her way, sending her looks that would have singed the ends of her hair if she hadn’t been moving so fast.
She felt desperate, wild, determined to reach Adam before he left. Determined to speak before she lost her nerve.
She had to tell him that she loved him. She had to explain everything, even if he rejected her afterward. She had to know.
She raced toward security, scanning the line of people waiting to go through to the departure lounge. She saw harassed parents, a few tired-looking businesswomen, impatient men, but no Adam.
And then she heard the final call for the flight and realized he must already be in the departure lounge.
The disappointment was like a physical blow. She stopped running and bent double, her breath coming in tearing pants.
She was too late.
She waited for the stitch in her side to ease and for her breathing to slow to something close to normal, and then she lifted her head.
Tears burned her eyes and she turned away, intending to walk back to the car, when she spotted a tall, dark-haired man striding toward her carrying an overnight bag.
“Adam!”
Her legs shook suddenly, and then his smile wrapped itself around her heart and joy exploded inside her.
She raced to meet him and he caught her to him with his free arm, hugging her tightly.
“I thought you’d left.” She clung to him, her face buried in his shoulder. “I thought I was too late.”
“I was about to board when I picked up your message.” He dropped his suitcase and took her face in his hands. “That thing you said—could you say it again?”
What had she said? The whole car journey had been a blur. “I told you not to board—”
“Not that part.”
“My sisters told you that I’m in love with you.”
“That part.” His eyes darkened. “I don’t suppose you’d like to say it yourself, would you? I prefer to go direct to the source for my information.”
“I love you.”
He hauled her close, kissing her hair and her face. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that?”
“Awhile, I guess. You’re a patient man.”
“Desperate would be a better word.” He crushed his mouth to hers. “I almost didn’t switch my phone on. Can you imagine how I would have felt if I hadn’t picked up that message until New York? You know how to keep a man in suspense. Why did you wait for me to leave to say it?”
“Because I’m stupid and cowardly. People think I’m reserved and unapproachable. They think I don’t feel emotion.”
“Oh, honey—” he lowered his forehead to hers “—you’re not cold. And you feel plenty of emotion. You’re just not that great at expressing it.”
The fact that he understood brought tears to her eyes. “I’ll try harder.”
“Don’t. Our relationship isn’t an exam you have to pass.” He brushed away her tears with the pad of his thumb. “I don’t want you to change. When have I ever indicated that I want you to change?”
He hadn’t, she thought. Not once. “I’ve never felt particularly lovable.”
“Then I need to work harder at showing you that you are.”
She clung to him, feeling the hard swell of his biceps through the soft wool of his coat. “There’s something else I have to say.”
“You can say it as many times as you like. I’m not going to stop you, but we could consider going somewhere more private.”
“In a minute.” She had to do it now, all of it, before she changed her mind. She was vaguely aware of people glancing in her direction on their way to passport control. “You asked me why I came home early—”
“You panicked. You were scared of my feelings, and scared of your own.” He pushed her hair back from her face, his hand gentle.
She felt her heart ache. “That’s not the reason.” She spoke before she could think of all the reasons why she probably shouldn’t. “I’m pregnant, Adam. I’m going to have a baby. And I know that’s a shock. I mean we used—I’ve thought about it, and I think there was one time—”
He stilled. His hand dropped to his side. “Pregnant?”
“Yes.” She waited, hoping for the best even while her fragile heart expected the worst. “It doesn’t have to make a difference. I don’t want you to feel pressure. I can handle it. There’s any number of ways we can—And if you don’t, I can...” Why was she so bad at this?
“Pressure?” He looked stunned. “This is why you ran that day? The reason you came home early?”
“I didn’t know for sure then. I hadn’t done the test. I did that when I arrived here. I imagine you’re feeling—”
“Why don’t you stop imagining how I’m feeling and ask me?”
Her heart was thudding. “How do you feel about it?”
“I’m shocked, obviously, but not in a bad way. I wish you’d told me right away. That’s a hell of a lot for you to be handling on your own. No wonder you were so stressed.”
“I’m not as evolved as you are. I needed time to figure out how I felt.” She was barely aware of her surroundings, of the echo of announcements and the people flowing around them.
“I hate to think of you panicking by yourself.”
“I’m used to handling things by myself. And I wasn’t really by myself. I panicked with Posy, and then with Beth and my mom.”
Adam’s eyes narrowed. “You called her mom.”
Hannah felt herself flush. “Yes.”
“I didn’t think you were close to your family.”
“We weren’t, but—” she shrugged “—we’ve talked quite a bit lately, and it turns out we’re a lot closer than I thought.”
He smiled. “That’s good.”
“Yes. Yes, it is, but—”
“But?”
“The relationship I really need to fix is the one I have with you. And I have no idea what happens now. You’ve never been interested in anything long-term.”
“That was before I met you. Before I fell in love with you. Does that sound like a cliché? If so, I’m sorry. You want me to prove I love you?” He raked his fingers through his hair, his breathing unsteady. “I’d never played chess before I met you.”
She stared at him. “You said you played.”
“Because you challenged me to a game, and I was so crazy about you I would have said yes to anything. Alligator wrestling, snake charming, ballet dancing—actually, maybe not ballet dancing, but pretty much anything else—I would have had a go.”
/>
She thought back. “But we played together. You won twice.”
“I’ll pretend not to notice that you’ve memorized how many times I won.” He moved her to one side as a family of five thundered past with suitcases. “I taught myself from YouTube. And from some insanely frustrating program that lets you play against a computer, which, by the way, I don’t recommend. You’re as good as the computer and a hell of a lot sexier.”
“You learned chess so you could play with me?”
“Yes. And I also had myself switched to the Carlton Myers Account so that I would have an excuse to work with you and stay late in the office.”
“You said you had a keen interest in their business model.”
“I lied. The only thing I had a keen interest in was you.”
She was staring. She knew she was staring. “I had no idea.”
“I know. I took hideous advantage of your trusting nature.” He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her briefly. “And I flew all the way here without calling first because I didn’t want to give you a chance to turn me away. And I left, even though it killed me to do it, because I thought that was what you wanted. Are you crying? God, I’ve made you cry and that is the last thing I wanted to do.” Appalled, he brushed away her tears with his fingers.
“They’re happy tears.” She leaned her head against his chest, her heart full. He’d learned chess so he could play with her. Switched accounts. Crossed an ocean. “I wish I’d talked to you sooner.”
“So do I, then you might have saved me a terrifying car ride with a cabdriver who didn’t seem to notice the ice on the roads.”
She felt his arms come around her, locking her against him. It felt good, she realized. Leaning on him felt good.
She lifted her head and met his gaze. “It’s quite a leap from man about town to daddy.”
“I’ve always been pretty athletic.” His smile had gone and this time his expression was serious. “I can make that leap, Hannah. We’ll make it together.”
She smiled through her tears. “I don’t know much about babies.”
“Then it’s a good thing there are two of us to figure it out.”
She put her arms round his neck. “So what do we do now?”
He tilted his head and listened to the announcement. “I just officially missed my flight, so I guess I’m going to need somewhere to stay tonight. And tomorrow is Christmas Eve, so I doubt I’ll be able to get a flight then, either. I don’t suppose you have any suggestions?”
“I might have some ideas.” She kept hold of him, too afraid of letting him go. “Can you handle my family, or would you rather stay at the inn?”
“That depends,” he said. “Do you think your father will punch me for making you pregnant?”
“I think he’s more likely to pour you a whiskey and shake your hand.”
“In that case what are we waiting for?” He took her hand and picked up his suitcase. “How did you get here? Did you drive on those lethal roads?”
“Posy drove. She’s the adrenaline junkie of the family. She could definitely have a career as a racing driver. I was so afraid I might have missed you. I don’t know what I would have done if you’d already left.”
He lifted his head and smiled. “I have a suspicion you would have been all right.”
She followed his gaze and saw Posy and Beth standing a discreet distance away. Their arms were linked and they both looked anxious.
When Hannah smiled, they both whooped and ran across to them.
“There is no way Posy is driving us home,” Beth said. “I’ve been given a second chance at life, and I’d like to take it. And that is not catastrophizing.”
29
Suzanne
On Christmas morning Suzanne was up early to make pancakes for breakfast with her grandchildren.
The storm had passed. Fresh snow layered the paths and loaded the trees, the surface glistening in the sunlight. Until Stewart had time to clear it, they were snowed in. Which was, she thought, a perfect way to spend Christmas.
She rinsed fresh berries and took a moment to enjoy the view from her window. It was a picture-book day, the tops of the mountains sharp and clear in the early-morning sunshine. The sky was a rich Mediterranean blue, although she knew the temperatures would be Arctic.
It was a day for wearing thick socks and soft sweaters, for gathering round the Christmas tree and sipping hot drinks in front of the flickering fire.
This morning she’d woken feeling better. Her headache had gone, her limbs no longer ached and she finally felt energetic again.
Better still, the tension that was so often a part of Christmas was absent.
She’d finished knitting the Christmas stockings, but there were things on her list she hadn’t done. Normally that would have stressed her, but this year it didn’t seem to matter. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t made the extra puddings as planned, or that she hadn’t had time to roast chestnuts.
“Grandma?” Ruby’s voice came from behind her. “The mixture is lumpy.”
She turned her attention back to her grandchildren.
Ruby wore a sweater and socks over her pajamas, and her hair was caught up in bunches that Melly had carefully secured with tartan ribbon.
She looked so much like Posy at the same age that Suzanne caught her breath.
“Keep whisking. These pancakes are going to be delicious.”
They’d come a long way. Such a long way.
She heated the pan and Melly climbed onto a chair to help with the cooking.
Suzanne stood close enough to intervene at the first sign of danger, but Melly was careful, her tongue caught between her teeth as she concentrated and flipped each one carefully.
The pile of soft, fluffy pancakes on the plate grew. When the mixture was finished, they put the plate on the table, along with the berries and a jar of the Scottish heather honey that Suzanne sold in the café, and Melly ran out of the room to call everyone to the table.
The wind had stopped howling the day before and there was a stillness and calm.
“Granny, do you think I can ride Socks today?”
“We’ll ask Aunty Posy when she wakes up.”
“Will she wake up soon? I woke up at five o’clock, but Melly was asleep, so I lay there and didn’t move.”
“You’re a thoughtful girl.”
Stewart emerged, his hair spiky from the shower. “I need to clear the paths. Posy and Luke will struggle to get from the barn.”
“She’s in the mountain rescue team. If she can’t find a way to get through the snow, there’s no hope for the rest of us. Sit down for a minute.” Suzanne rummaged in the cupboard for a jar of her whiskey marmalade, which she knew was Jason’s favorite. She’d given away so many as gifts she had only one left. “The pancakes are warm and the coffee is brewing. Merry Christmas.”
Stewart kissed her, taking his time over it. “Merry Christmas. You’re looking unusually relaxed. Usually by now you’re running round slamming turkeys into ovens.”
“I feel unusually relaxed.”
“It’s because I’ve been helping her.” Ruby climbed onto a chair. “Merry Christmas, Grandpa. Santa came.”
“That’s good news. Glad his sleigh didn’t get stuck in all that snow.”
Ruby looked at him pityingly. “The reindeer fly.”
“Of course they do. There are days when I wish I could fly, too.”
“Will you have to go and rescue people today, Grandpa?”
“I hope not.” He sat down next to her. “I plan on playing with my grandchildren and eating my Christmas lunch. Let’s hope everyone else does the same and that no one gets into trouble today.”
“Why did those people get in trouble? Were they naughty?”
“The people the other night? No, they weren’t naughty. Bu
t they didn’t have all the skills they needed for the walk they planned. Do you know what a compass is?”
“I know.” Melly sat on the other side of him. She was wearing a new princess costume that Suzanne assumed had been a gift from Santa. “It’s something that tells you which direction to go.”
“That’s right. But these people—” Stewart served the girls pancakes and then added two to his own plate “—they put their compass in the same pocket as their mobile phone.”
“Was that bad?” Ruby stuck her spoon in the honey, dribbling most of it over the table instead of her pancakes.
“Turns out it was bad, because the case for the mobile phone had a metal closure and that reversed the polarity.”
Suzanne poured herself coffee. “Grandpa means that the compass gave them the wrong information and they went in the wrong direction.”
Jason walked through the door, yawning. “That happens? Seriously?”
“Yes. North became south, and that’s the way they walked. Unfortunately, south wasn’t where the road was, so they became lost.”
“And you rescued them,” Ruby said, jumping off her seat to run to her father. “Merry Christmas! Santa came.”
“Well, of course he came.” Jason scooped her up and sat down with her on his lap. He picked up the jar near him. “Mmm. Whiskey marmalade. My favorite. This whole room smells like Christmas.”
“We put cinnamon on the pancakes,” Melly said.
“Better eat them fast before everyone else wakes up and wants some.” Stewart helped himself to another one, but at that moment everyone else piled into the room.
Beth was wearing a bright blue sweater and a pair of large silver earrings.
“You look pretty.” Melly smiled her approval. “Grandma knitted that sweater.”
“She did, and I love it.” Beth kissed her mother. “You’ve come a long way from the days of scratchy, itchy sweaters.”
Suzanne gave her a push. “I’ve had some practice. Sit down and eat.”
Hannah and Adam appeared amid a chorus of “Merry Christmas.” Suzanne noticed that Hannah looked different. Her hair was loose around her face and she was smiling and relaxed as she talked to Adam.
