Golden Throat

by James P. Alsphert

  On Thursday the 12th Adora called and wanted to see me and help me celebrate my birthday. I told her I was up to my ears and tomorrow I was going to see Honey at the club and she had prepared a little shindig for me to help celebrate my twenty-ninth year on planet earth. I could feel her pain when I said I couldn’t see her. You know why? Because I was experiencing an equal pain. I just wanted everything complicated to go away—take Adora’s hand and run across a meadow somewhere, take her into my arms and make love to her in the grass beside a bubbling brook. But I told her my truth, the one that said I didn’t know when we could be together again. Soon, I hoped. She hung up and I could hear the tears of disappointment. I knew this couldn’t go on much longer, but I didn’t know how to cut it off. It would be like cutting off a leg. She had made my heart feel like when the sun bursts out from behind a cloud after the rain. She was sunshine and I was in love with her. There was no way around it.

  I had hoped against hope that after Ravna’s death at the hands of my benefactor priests, the Oculus Pyramis Mandatum would release its stranglehold on me. Life always contains a certain number of unresolved items, dangling participles with question marks that never quite settle to resolution, but sit in your craw like a group of unsettling thoughts, reminding you that you’re in a crap game and when you spit on the dice and roll them against the bank, you never know what numbers are going to come up.

  It was getting on to sunset as I sat in my desk chair smoking a Lucky Strike and sipping on a gin and tonic. Suddenly I got a chill all over and something made me look toward my bedroom. There, standing at the threshold, stood Toggth. He did not look happy. The little creature approached me. “She seduced you, Cable, and you succumbed. Now she is with a child that cannot possibly be born. What happened? We talked about it. Why couldn’t you have simply walked out on her when she shape-shifted into that alluring hussy who trapped you?”

  “Well, hello to you too, Toggth,” I said, trying to make the situation amenable. “I know the whole thing…I was taken in a dream to the palace of Daiyu Guang, her teacher. She filled me in.”

  Toggth seemed puzzled. “Oh. Daiya Guang summoned you?”

  “Yep, and I heard the most magnificent music…”

  “The liuqin…music of the astral spheres.” Then he looked at me with those wonderful eyes of his. “But I’m still angry with you. Why, Cable, when you knew it could destroy her?”

  “The human animal drives are incessant. It’s like desire bangs up against your brain, Toggth, until you can’t stand it anymore—and you’re addicted to the feeling of that warm, pumping motion when she opens—”

  “—I don’t need the details, Cable. Somehow she must abort the embryo. What you don’t know is that in Lei-tao’s womb, the fetus will grow exponentially faster than in a human female’s. ‘

  “So what do you want me to do?”

  “Stay out of the way. She came to me and told me she was ill. She was convulsing because your seed is incompatible with hers. Our sacred Red Dragon Lady suffers greatly. You must let go of her in all ways, even with your mind. Do you understand?”

  “I’ll—I’ll do my best. Shit, how could I have known—”

  “—you said that before, too. Just forget you ever knew her. Forget the Fen de Fuqin and all that it has to do with. You were not supposed to know as much as you do. Lei-tao loved you, an emotional wave-form her kind are not allowed. Now you see the trouble it has caused.”

  “Not that it amounts to a hill of beans, but you probably know the Oculus came looking for the Fen de Fuqin. They were going to punish me for being so arrogant toward them by castrating me. Luckily, I was rescued by three priests—”

  “—yes, the Ordium Sanctus Breva. I know who they are. I am glad they saved your—your reproductive pleasure parts, but they have gotten you into a lot of trouble, haven’t they?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Most times the pleasure is worth the pain. Just not in Lei-tao’s case. I am very sorry for that…”

  “I must leave you now, Cable. We will see if we can save Lei-tao. Rarely, does the lotus pod lose one of its own.”

  We embraced and I watched the little fellow vanish into thin air in the middle of my office. I felt lousy. My philanderings had brought such a burden upon this beautiful young creature/woman who crossed over traditional lines to dare to love this stupid, crazy mortal man. I would miss her and hoped against hope she would be saved.

  It was a restless night. I got tired of office work, phone calls, smoking cigarettes and drinking booze. I became listless and tired inside, like I was already an ancient traveler on his last legs. I brushed my teeth and fell into my little mussed up bed. Soon I was deep in a sleep and I was watching Lei-tao approach me. But she was naked and exuding a moving green substance that glowed from her body. She came to me and smiled. We were in a very large room. Far across on the other side there was a purple bed. Lei-tao pointed to it and started across the floor to stand in front of the bed. To my shock, also naked on the bed, lay Ginny Fullerton! Lei-tao called to her silently and Ginny got up and stood before the Red Dragon Lady. A strange humming noise began and I could swear I heard a very beautiful music from a symphony of liuqins that filled the room. A strong magnetic field of blue and purple began to form between the bellies of Ginny and Lei-tao. Soon the colors merged and an undeveloped fetus emerged from Lei-tao’s stomach, breathing in the amniotic fluids now exchanging between her and Ginny! The fetus slowly moved from Lei-tao’s stomach…two feet or so away, into the womb or stomach of Ginny Fullerton. I got it now: Lei-tao didn’t want her child to perish, so she was transferring it into a human woman, one who had recently made love to me and had my vibration on her, and someone who could most likely be pregnant herself via a natural course of events. When the glow and exchange subsided, Ginny lay back down on the purple bed. Lei-tao floated over to me and smiled down on me, nodding her head slowly up and down. She bent over me to kiss me good-bye and I knew in that instant it would be the last time I would ever see her.

  Last Candles on the Cake

  Friday the 13th of September was anything but unlucky for me. It was a wonderful day, filled with a clean sky from sharp northwest winds sweeping off of the ocean a few miles away and a happy surprise when Honey came into my office around ten in the morning with a tray and some breakfast. “Good morning, birthday boy,” she caroled as she entered my dingy bedroom.

  “Wow! Babe! What a surprise…I didn’t think I’d see you until tonight.”

  “Well, now, this is breakfast and lunch—tonight you get dinner, some ice cream and cake—and me for desert when we get home,” she said in her usual warm, but direct way.

  “That sounds like a swell deal, babe. Come here!” She put the tray down and fell into my arms. I embraced her and kissed her.

  “Cable—your beard! It’s going to get me all irritated and red—and I want to look perfect for you tonight. Know what I’m wearing?”

  “No, but I have a feeling you’ll tell me.”

  “A brand new gold sequined gown, the kind with the large scales, tight-fitting to the ankles? I’ve got gold heels to go with it and a marvelous strand of pearls Chet’s mother gave me.”

  I stopped all motion for a minute. “Chet’s mother? Your trumpet player? Why would she give you her—her jewelry—unless there’s something going on between the—”

  “—damn it, Mr. Green-eyes! There is something going on between Chet James and me—great music! Chet’s not into girls, so his Mom felt that the pearls would go to better use if I had them. Simple. Get it, Cable?”

  “Oh…he doesn’t dig tits and pussy, huh?”

  “Nope, just the hardware you got between your legs, lover man.”

  “Oh…I—I, uh, didn’t know. Sorry if I was jumping to conclusions.”

  She brought my coffee over to me and put the tray on my lap. “At least I don’t go around chasing guys up to the eleventh hour of my marriage,” she said, a little offended.

&
nbsp; “Okay, babe,…please, let’s drop it.”

  It was a stand-out night at the Bella Notte. Honey sang two songs that night. You Were Meant For Me was a huge success with the audience, reminding us that Honey was the best in the business. But toward the end of the evening when the place was still packed, Honey Combes touched me to the core when she quieted the audience and spoke over the microphone. “A couple of years ago I fell in love with a young policeman who became a private investigator. He’s one of those men who gets women right—right here—” She put her hand on her heart. “He’s also the kind of man a simple country girl like me can love because a part of him is all man, while another part is a boy, still wondering why he has to grow up.” The audience laughed. “So, to the boy part in my man, I dedicate this song.” The audience applauded. When Honey began to sing Al Jolson’s Sonny Boy to me, I felt like crawling under the table and melting into droplets of booze on the hardwood floors. From the first words, ‘When there are grey skies, I don’t mind the grey skies,’ the audience was blubbering—as was I. Again, Honey Combes had made me the luckiest guy in the world—and only because of one thing—only because she loved me—and somehow that would have to be enough for a lifetime.

  September went by in a flash and it was October 1, 1929. My rent was due again. I hadn’t heard from the Oculus, which brought much relief. I hadn’t seen Adora, either, and that was tough. We spoke on the phone and I kept trying to ween us off each other. Some days it was okay, others it was a losing battle. I was perusing my dirty gin glass when the phone rang. “Yeah, Cable Denning here.”

  “Cable…? It’s—it’s Ginny…I know it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

  Her voice seemed subdued, a little out of spirit. “Good to hear your voice, Ginny. How goes your world?”

  “Not so good, Cable. I think I’m pregnant.”

  I became dead still. No man wants to have that bomb dropped on him unexpectedly. “You—you what? Would you mind repeating that?”

  “I said I think I’m expecting our baby. Yours and mine.”

  I became a little flustered. “I thought you told me—”

  “—I must have been wrong, Cable. What are we going to do?”

  “How far along are you?”

  “Well, from the night we made love. About a month or so—but you know what? It seems to be growing so fast—I mean, my tummy is already beginning to puff out—and I’ve had this strange greenish discharge…but it doesn’t feel like an infection or anything.”

  “Have you seen a doctor?”

  “Yes. He confirmed everything.”

  I lit up a Lucky Strike, took my bottle of gin out of my desk drawer and took a big swig right out of the bottle. “I—I know a couple of doctors who will—terminate the pregnancy—”

  “—no! I could never do that, Cable. Selfish as it seems, I want your baby, even if you are getting married in three months.”

  “Damn, Ginny…we gotta talk…not on the phone…I’ll come see you tonight after work—what time?”

  “About seven? Thanks, Cable. I really need you about now.”

  When I came to pick Ginny up, the evil and nasty Monica sat with a naked leg slung over part of the railing, and if one cared to peek further, her yellow loosely tied robe revealed she was wearing no panties. “Oh, the private dick cop again. You come around sort of like a dog, don’t you? Sniffing out the fresh young stuff. Let me see…you’re Ginny’s gigolo, aren’t you? She’s been acting strange lately. You know what I think?”

  “I really don’t care what you think, lady,” I said, bristling at this obnoxious woman.

  “I think you knocked her up. Happens a lot around here. All you need is some alcohol and a couple of coat hangers, you know.”

  Just then Ginny came out of the house. She didn’t say anything but walked straight to me. She hugged me and we walked away from the horrid Monica who stood there with a smug look on her face.

  We walked to a café a few blocks from Ginny’s boarding house. She looked pale, drawn and lacked the old verve I had come to look for in her. We took a back booth and ordered simple. I took a big breath and exhaled. “Damn, Ginny, I don’t know exactly what to say. Your news kind of knocked the wind out of me.” I reached across the table and took her hand. “But I’m not going to desert you, kid…we’ll see it through, somehow.”

  “Cable, it’s my own fault. I could swear I was safe…I mean just three days before we were together I was over my period. I can always tell when I’m more, uh, more receptive…and it wasn’t that night.”

  I was beginning to piece together that dream Lei-tao must have implanted in me, and the reality sunk in that Ginny must be carrying the Red Dragon Lady’s child! “I believe you, Ginny. Sometimes things happen that just don’t have a reasonable explanation. Maybe you were visited by some magic prince who impregnated you during the night or something,” I chuckled, trying to keep things from getting too heavy.

  Ginny’s face changed color. “Why would you say that? I know this sounds really weird, Cable—and you don’t have to believe me, because I barely do. But a night or two after we were together, I had this dream—like I was naked in this big room and a beautiful young woman—also with no clothes on—with dark hair and wonderful glowing, brown eyes came over to me. She was like—like a glowing green all over and I could feel her energy pull at my stomach. She asked my permission for something, but I can’t remember what it was. I came and stood close to her but I didn’t feel any fear. She smiled at me and I loved her smile. Then I saw that her tummy was big, like she was expecting a child and the next thing I knew I woke up with this feeling in my stomach. Do you remember that night when we made love how I told you I felt some kind of ‘pinch’ or ‘click’ inside me? Well, that’s how I felt when I got up to go to the bathroom that morning, only it was a much stronger feeling in my stomach.”

  “And you definitely want to keep it,” I said, still hoping.

  “It’s us, Cable. It’ll be the only way I’ll ever have—to know something that came from us will be with me always.”

  “How are you going to support a kid? You can’t work and raise a baby. And you know I’m not exactly rich. What do you intend to do?”

  “I already told my aunt. She was very understanding and not angry with me. I guess being a nurse and all. She said I can come live with her and she’s retiring in about three months—and she’ll be home and would love to care for our baby while I work during the day. Then maybe on weekends once in a while—you—you can come see your son or daughter?”

  It felt like a terrible, twisted rope to me, something that got knotted up that wasn’t supposed to. “It’s a funny arrangement, kid, but I guess it’s lucky for both of us that your aunt is so willing—”

  “—I told her you don’t make much money and couldn’t pay much to help out. But I didn’t tell her you’re getting married in December. That would have upset her. But do you know what scares me, Cable?”

  “What, doll?”

  “What I said over the phone. The baby’s growing so fast—it’s like I can feel my stomach expand every day. I’ve never had a baby, but I don’t think it’s supposed to grow that fast unless I’m—I’m having a giant or something. Do you have huge men in your family?”

  “Nope, just plain, medium guys like me.” I thought quickly. “Maybe that dream you had—you know about the strange green woman with the stomach—maybe there’s something to it, I mean, more than you think?”

  “Naw, I don’t believe in that stuff. My Dad, being a preacher and all before, thinks anything outside of the Bible is the devil in disguise or something. I think that’s part of what drove my Mom nuts—and maybe to drink too much. I don’t know what to tell my folks. Sooner or later they’ll have to know—”

  “—cross that bridge when you come to it, Ginny. Right now, you gotta take good care of yourself. Is there anything you need right now?”

  “Yeah, you…it’s like the baby makes m
e want you even more.” She looked away and out the window. “I know things can’t go on like they were. It’s my fault, I kept chasing you, as I said, like a bitch dog in heat and now look where it got me—”

  “—don’t hammer on yourself, doll. Things are what they are now. We’ll deal with it, okay?” I smiled at her as best I could. “Chin up, eh?”

  She gave me a half-smile. “Thanks, Cable, for coming here and seeing me. I knew you wouldn’t run, but I also knew it’s a pressure you don’t need in your life right now, especially with you marrying your girlfriend and all…”

  I escorted Ginny home and told her to call me if she needed anything. I hugged her at the doorway to the rooming house and I could swear that little creature in her stomach reached out to me and pulsed against my own gut, as if it knew I was its sire. I started for the streetcar stop across the street. I noticed a tall, slightly rotund man in an overcoat wearing a dark fedora waiting a few feet below me on the island. His face was intense and he had burning dark eyes with large unkempt eyebrows. His temples were silver and I figured him for about fifty-five or so. We both got on when the trolley came. The man seemed to be checking me out. I decided to get off the streetcar a couple of blocks early at Argyle and walk the extra distance to my office. When I exited the streetcar, he followed. I made the mistake of darting down a little alley that ended at Dix Street. He was hot on my tail. Half way down the alley he yelled to me. “Only they who sin with guilt run from the Lord!”

  I stopped and turned toward him. He came running at me and I could see as he approached he had withdrawn a long, shiny knife from under his coat. “I’d stop if I were you, Mister.” I drew my .38 and took a bead on him. “I wouldn’t want to mess up the alley with your blood.”