Wild at Heart

by Layce Gardner

  “Say what?” Pete asked. That’s when I started to laugh. Pete looked from Calamity to me and then down at his feet. “Dance?”

  Calamity uncoiled the whip and let it fly, snapping it on top of the table. She grinned at Pete and said, “Belle likes to dance. Don’t you know how?”

  Pete took a baby step backwards. “I ain’t much for dancing.”

  She unleashed the whip again, this time cracking it right on the floor in front of him. He jumped like a scared cricket. “Better start dancing, Pete!”

  He jumped backwards and tap danced around her whipping. The sight of that little bow-legged boy hopping all over the floor like a frog had me in stitches. I laughed so hard my belly hurt and I toppled clean off the stool.

  Pete hopped, skipped and jumped his way around the table with Calamity cracking the whip at his feet the whole time.

  I joined in on the party, stomping my feet, clapping my hands and singing out a rousing chorus of “Skip to My Lou.”

  “I give! By God, calf rope, I give up!” Pete bellowed. He was red-faced, sweaty and out of breath by the time Calamity stopped and I had laughed and sung myself so dry nothing was coming out of my throat but a frog croak.

  Calamity re-coiled the whip and hung it back on the peg. I practically danced behind the bar to get another bottle. Pete collapsed into a chair and hid his face in his hands. Whether it was from embarrassment or overexertion, I couldn’t tell.

  I raised a fresh bottle of brandy up in the air and announced, “On the house! Drinks for everybody!”

  Pete weakly raised his hand in the air and said, “I’ll take one of those.”

  ***

  After we had all got our wind back and thrown down another drink apiece, I cozied up next to Calamity. Pete was slopped out over a nearby table, so I pulled a chair up close to hers and said low, “May I ask you a personal question?”

  “Long as I don’t have to answer it,” she replied.

  “I was wondering…on the romantic aspect of your delectation with the female persuasion…”

  She interrupted. “Speak English, Charlie.”

  I amended my words. “What exactly do you do with a woman anyway? In the amorous department, I mean.”

  She brayed a loud laugh. She knocked back another shot of liquor, leaned in close to me and whispered, “Everything.”

  I laughed also, then confided, “I once saw a deck of playing cards with some women posed on them, if you catch my drift.”

  “I’d like to see those.”

  “I’ve read about deviants like you. Women who are drawn to other women,” I said.

  She didn’t take offense at my brashness. “Don’t believe everything you read,” she said. “It was most likely written by a man anyways.” She pulled a deck of cards out of her pocket and shuffled them on the table.

  Pete lifted his head and groggily watched the cards in her hands. He looked mesmerized by the skill of her shuffling.

  After a moment, she slapped the cards down and said, “I was born like how I am. I got the heart and body of a woman and the mind and power of a man. If I was an Injun they’d make me a chief or a medicine man ’cause I got the spiritual energies of both sexes running through my blood. The Injuns revere people like me. They figure God didn’t make no mistakes, you know. But in this world, the white man’s world of drinking and shooting and cows and gold, I don’t fit in. I reckon I scare people by upsetting their order of things. I can’t settle down in one place too long or I’d be facing a lynch mob. Sometimes I have to use my gun, sometimes I just up and leave. Next thing you know, there’s a poster with your face on it and a reward on your head. It’s not like I set out to be an outlaw. It was forced upon me.”

  She shuffled the deck once more, then scooted it to the middle of the table, saying,

  “Looky here…you take this pack of cards. All told there’s fifty-two of them. Four different suits to each deck. Each suit has thirteen of its own kind. Now, thirteen, that there’s an odd number. You go to pairing them up and you always got one left over.”

  She tapped the top of the deck twice. She cut the stack and without looking held up the bottom card for us to see. It was the ace of hearts.

  She sighed and said, “That there lone card is me.”

  She replaced the cut and shuffled again. I offered, “There’s other aces, you know. You could fall in love with another ace.”

  Calamity looked sideways at me. “You ever fall in love with another dwarf?”

  I hemmed and hawed a bit, then answered, “Well, no…but I’m not discounting it.”

  “I ain’t saying I’ve never been in love.” She cut the deck again and showed the bottom card. It was the ace of clubs. “Love has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. You go looking for love and it disappears. But the moment you look the other way, there it is. You ever notice that?”

  Pete vigorously nodded his head. Then he hiccupped.

  Calamity shuffled the cards as she spoke. “This one time I was in the middle of nowhere Kansas. This was back a little before statehood. It was the heat of the day and I stopped along the Kansas River to give my pony a drink and cool off a bit.”

  She held still and stared off into the middle distance at something only she could see. “I was sitting on the bank of the river, thinking this and that and nothing much…I got to think about that water and how hot it was so I shucked off my clothes and jumped in bare ass naked. I floated and splashed…having a good ol’ time.”

  Calamity pushed her chair back from the table and crossed her arms. “That’s when I felt it. Something piercing me like an arrow. I looked over and there was a woman staring at me. She was an Injun. Brown skin all over her body and not just where the sun hit her neither. She was there in the river with me, not but forty feet away. She couldn’t speak no English, which was fine with me. Words weren’t the language we was needing.”

  Calamity leaned back in her chair and crossed a boot over her knee. “She shared her supper with me. Among other things. I never tasted anything so good in my life.”

  Pete chuckled. “The Injun girl or the supper?”

  “Both.” Calamity smiled to herself. “That night I shared my fire and my blanket. The middle of the night, my horse nickered and I opened my eyes. There he was standing right over us. A fearful-looking Injun brave. He had a knife.”

  There was a long pause while she rolled herself a cigarette. Nobody uttered a word. I shifted in my chair and it squeaked. Calamity lighted the cigarette and exhaled a stream of smoke out her nose. I watched her take another long drag. This time she shot puffs of smoke up toward the ceiling.

  Pete leaned forward in his chair. “What happened?”

  The cigarette dangled off her bottom lip as she said, “The brave had more courage than brains. He brought a knife to a gunfight. One shot later and I was the sole owner of a genuine Injun princess.”

  She tapped the top of the deck of cards, cut them and held up the bottom card. It was the two of hearts.

  She said, “I called her Raindrop. On account of she just fell out of the sky right on top of my head.” She slapped the cards together and pushed the deck away.

  “Whatever happened to her?” Pete asked.

  “I lost her in a poker game over in Abilene.”

  I laughed out loud. The idea of such a thing tickled my funny bone. I’ve seen plenty of gamblers bet their houses, their farms, even their horses, but I had never seen anybody ante up a squaw.

  Pete seemed mortified by the thought. “You lost a woman in a poker game? How could you do that?”

  “Easy,” Calamity said. “His royal flush beat my two pair.”

  He shook his head in disgust and picked up the deck of cards. Calamity crossed her arms and watched him rifle through the pack.

  Pete asked, “How’d you manage to cut whatever card you wanted like that?”

  “Just call it a miracle,” she gloated.

  “Bullroar. I know a loaded deck when I see one,
” he said, examining the back of the cards for any marks.

  I had half a mind to calmly take Pete aside and tell him the difference between courage and drunkenness. But he seemed to enjoy waving the red cape in front of Calamity, and I have to admit I was curious as to the outcome of his poking at her.

  Calamity just sucked on her cigarette and smiled. “The cards are fine, it’s my gun what’s loaded. Don’t you believe in miracles, Pete?”

  “No, I sure as hell don’t.”

  “Well then, you better start. ’Cause if you call me a cheat one more time, it’ll be a miracle if you walk out of here alive.” She grabbed the deck out of his hands.

  Pete frowned down at his empty hands. Calamity took the liquor bottle by the neck, stood and moved to the far table. She pulled her hat low over her eyes and propped her boots on top of the table. “Now if you two can keep yourselves from jabbering, I’m going to have myself a li’l siesta before the fair Belle arrives,” she said.

  Two minutes hadn’t gone by before I could hear the sound of her softly snoring.

  ***

  An hour or so later, I interrupted Pete’s game of solitaire by bringing him a beer. “Hair of the dog,” I said, putting the mug on the table in front of him. He was looking a little green around the gills, and I didn’t want him passing out—or worse—in my saloon.

  Pete gratefully accepted the beer and drank it halfway done. “I never turn down a free drink.”

  The doors swung open and Belle sashayed in. “I hear somebody say free drinks?”

  I eyed her as she swooped by me and Pete, turned a circle like a ballet dancer and made for the bar. She sure was in high spirits—or high from that dope she must have gotten next door.

  “You need to clean out your ears,” I said.

  She laughed. Sitting on the stool she squinted at Pete like she was looking down a telescope. “You’re still sitting in the same spot as when I left, Pete. Ain’t you moved at all? Charlie, you should rub your rag on his head, he’s starting to collect dust.”

  I noticed that the snoring over in the shadows had ceased. I knew Calamity was watching Belle with interest, but I didn’t feel obliged to be making any introductions just yet. This was Calamity’s hand, I figured on letting her deal the first card. Belle, for her part, didn’t even see Calamity’s silhouette in the corner.

  Pete said, “I been moving plenty, thank you very much.”

  Belle looked at me and could see right off that I was hiding something behind my smile. “What’ve you two been up to?”

  I chuckled and said, “Pete here has been working on his dance steps.”

  Belle laughed and spun around on the stool a couple of three times. She stood but had to grab the edge of the bar for support.

  I narrowed my eyes. “You go over there and get more of that tincture of opium?

  Belle ignored my question. “It’s dead over there too. Business keeps up like this, I might have to be moving on quicker than I planned.”

  I walked behind the bar, up on the platform, so I could be eye-level with her. “Same thing you say every day. Every day since you showed up here you talk about leaving. And that’s going on two years now.”

  “I mean it this time.” She dipped her chin and looked up at me, batting her eyelashes.

  “Give me a free drink, Charlie.”

  “You know I don’t like you using the f-word in here.”

  She turned up her charm another notch. And by that I mean she perched her bosoms on the bar top. I steeled my resolve against the assault of her feminine wiles.

  “C’mon, Charlie, don’t I always pay up?”

  “You owe me more than you could ever repay,” I said.

  “You know I’m good for it. First drifter that comes along with an itch to scratch, I’ll make good on my credit.” She looked like she was on the verge of crying. There were two things I could never stand to witness: A woman beg for a drink and a dog beg for a table scrap. I’d keel to both every damn time. I grudgingly poured Belle a stiff drink and handed it over with a warning. “I don’t like you mixing drinking with that opium. It can’t be good for you.”

  She took a deep, satisfying drink. Her mind latched on to what it was thinking before her thirst took over. She said, “Tomorrow maybe. I don’t see why not. I’ll pack my bags tonight. I can go buy that old mare from Withers. Head out with the sunrise.”

  Pete snorted his disapproval. “Withers has been trying to unload that old bag of horseflesh for months.”

  “Then I can buy her cheap.”

  “That horse is blind in one eye. It keeps traveling in circles. You’ll ride for a week and end up right back here,” Pete said.

  Calamity’s voice carried from the shadows. “Winter will be coming soon. Unless you know the way, you won’t stand a dead man’s chance of getting over those mountains until next spring. Don’t want to end up like the Donners.”

  Belle turned and squinted at the darkness. “You got a customer, Charlie? Why didn’t you say something?”

  I shrugged.

  Belle peered into the shadows. Nothing was visible except a dark shape which could have belonged to most any man. “You lost, cowboy?”

  “Quite the contrary. I just found what I’ve been looking for.”

  “Looking for a good time?” Belle patted at her hair, trying to make herself more presentable.

  “I’ve been looking for you.”

  “Is that right?” She held up her empty glass to me, silently asking for a refill. “’Nother one, Charlie.”

  I shook my head. “One free drink is my limit, Belle, you know that.”

  Belle leaned across the bar and whispered, “I smell money. Give me another.”

  Calamity piped up. Her voice was low and gravelly. “Give Belle a drink on me, Charlie.”

  I poured another, but I made sure not to look happy about it.

  “Thank you for the drink, stranger,” Belle said. She toasted the dark and downed the shot in one smooth motion.

  Calamity stood and moved to the edge of the shadows. Her hat was pulled low over her eyes so that you couldn’t see her face. “You never used to drink. As I remember it, you were a righteous tee-totaler.”

  “Have we met?” Belle asked.

  “You might say that, Belle.”

  “You must have me mixed up with somebody else. Belle is a popular name.”

  “But that ain’t your real name, is it?”

  “Of course it is.” Belle motioned for another refill and this time I obliged without objection.

  Calamity said, “It’s a good name, though. Belle is French for beauty, right? I guess there ain’t a gal alive who doesn’t like to think of herself as beautiful.”

  “If that is a compliment, then I accept.” She sipped at the drink, keeping her eyes on Calamity.

  “What’s the name Olivia stand for?”

  Belle jumped off the stool, her temper flashing. “The doctor hire you to track me down? You one of them Pinkerton boys?” She gestured to Pete. “What’re you waiting for? Shoot him.”

  Pete said, “That ain’t no him. That there’s a woman you’re looking at.”

  “A woman?” Belle narrowed her eyes at Calamity’s shadow. “Get on over here where I can see you.”

  Calamity moved into the light. It was still impossible to make out her features, but even I had to admit she looked more like a man than a woman.

  “Turn around, let me get a look at you,” Belle said twirling her finger.

  Calamity turned in a slow circle.

  Belle chuckled and said, “I’ll be damned, you are a woman. Looks like you were sitting on my only clue.”

  “I’m a woman, all right,” Calamity said. She added in a sly tone, “You ought to know that better than anybody, I reckon.”

  Belle took a step back. One hand flew to her chest and lay there trembling like a bird with a broken wing. She took a deep breath. “Martha?”

  “I go by Calamity Jane now.”

  Bel
le turned into a block of ice. “I thank you for the drink.”

  “You’re most welcome, Olivia.”

  Now my mind was whirling and I stole a look at Pete. Judging by his face he was in the same boat as me. Neither one of us knew exactly what was going on, but it felt powerful big.

  “Don’t call me that. I’m Belle now. I buried Olivia back east a long time ago.”

  “Olivia?” Pete asked.

  Calamity strode up to the bar and slapped two gold eagles in front of me. “Pour Belle another, Charlie. She looks like she needs it.”

  Belle looked at Calamity with fire smoldering in her eyes, but still she accepted the refill.

  Calamity sat on the stool beside her. Pete lurked nearby. Calamity clanked her bottle against Belle’s glass. “Here’s to old times.” She drank from the bottle. Belle, or Olivia, didn’t drink. Calamity said, “And new times.” She drank again.

  Belle twirled her finger inside the glass. “I see where you’ve been building quite a reputation for yourself.”

  “I’m pleased to know you’ve been keeping up with me.”

  I moved away a few feet, enough to give them a sense of privacy but not so far I couldn’t hear.

  Belle sipped at her drink. “Don’t go thinking you’re going to get me liquored up and I’ll go all soft in the knees.”

  “I was kind of hoping you’d go all soft in the heart.”

  Belle snorted. “I ain’t going back with you.”

  “I never asked you to.”

  There was a bit of a pause while Belle toyed with her drink. Finally, she asked, “You dress as a man all the time now?”

  “Suits me better.”

  “That’s the God’s honest truth.”

  Pete had been standing off to the side this whole time wringing his hands. Finally, he had about all he could stand. He approached Belle with his hat in his hands. He licked the palm of his hand to smooth down his unruly hair. He moved between Calamity and Belle and cleared his throat. “Good afternoon, Miss Belle.”

  Belle looked him up and down. “What’s got into you?”

  Calamity’s face looked placid enough, but I saw her jaw tighten.

  “I got something important to be asking you,” Pete said, moving his weight from foot to foot.