MISTAKEN - The Complete First Season
Page 28
I caught her by the elbow, spinning her to face me. “No. What were you going to say?”
She looked away from me; she seemed embarrassed to meet my gaze, color rushing into her cheeks and the tops of her ears. “Nothing. It’s not important.”
My eyes narrowed, seething. “You think Brandon had something to do with it, right? First he got me the audition, now he did something to make them not let me in. Is that it?”
She bit her upper lip and forced a small smile before giving me the tiniest shrug. “Maybe? I just mean, it’s kind of weird that he was there before your audition if he didn’t have anything to do with it, right?”
I let go of her elbow, my face falling into a frown. It made my heart race just thinking about who was behind all of the manipulations that seemed to be going on. I had to admit it. It was weird. There was something definitely off about the whole thing, and I was pissed that I’d allowed myself to be caught in the middle again. I walked over to grab my own bag from the chair in the living room, determined to stay in control, to not let any of it get to me this time. “Yes, Mel, it is weird.”
2
Melissa and I had been promising each other for months that we’d try the new noodle shop at the end of our block. Things had become so crazy in both of our lives that we’d never had the chance. Tonight seemed like as good of a time as any.
It was a little nicer than I expected. We chose a booth in the back of the restaurant and placed our order with the waitress. I didn’t know why I’d been expecting it would be a takeout type of place, but it was a quiet little restaurant that was exactly the type of place we usually frequented. Well, when I wasn’t off campaigning in Iowa for my father or she was off with a new man in Portland, anyway.
I leaned back into my seat. I took a deep breath, trying to relax. I knew Mel was going through at least as much as I was, and she was in desperate need of an ear to bend, too. I tipped my head toward her. “So, tell me everything about today. After the lecture, anyway.”
She twisted her mouth around, chewing on her lips. “Well, you know that bitch in the mail room? Heather? She got promoted.” She let out a long sigh and folded her arms across her chest, leaning back into her own bench seat.
I just nodded. I hadn’t worked there long myself and I didn’t remember Heather from anyone else in the office.
“She’s such a fucking bitch. She was just delighted to give me orders today.” Mel took a long sip from her straw. “I can’t do it, Jenna. I just can’t.”
“Come back to Iowa, then. We can figure something out for you after the straw poll.” I crunched the ice around my drink with my straw. “You’ll have fun, I promise.”
She shook her head, refusing to meet my gaze. She pursed her lips, looking at the wall next to me. “Jenna, I need to make it on my own, you know? I need to figure this shit out. I mean, I’m glad everyone is so happy to help, but, Christ. I’m such a loser. I need to get my own act together.” She finally looked over at me. “I know I give you shit all the time about not letting people run your life, but I’m just as bad, you know?”
I nodded, chewing on my bottom lip. We’d both become pretty pathetic, relying too much on the men in our lives. “We’ll figure it out. I know we will.” I felt the hairs on the back of my neck prickle, like someone was watching me. I still had the Secret Service guy keeping track of me, but he wasn’t anywhere nearby. I turned around to look around the restaurant and didn’t see anything.
“What?” Mel craned her neck to look over to see what I was looking at. “What is it?”
I shrugged. “Nothing. It just felt like someone was watching.” I took a sip from my water glass.
“Someone was.”
I would have known the rich baritone voice anywhere. Daniel. My dead fiancée who wasn’t dead. I closed my eyes and slowly turned my head from side to side, a cold sweat breaking out over my body. My voice lowered to nearly a whisper as the color drained from my face. “What the fuck are you doing here, Daniel?”
He slid into the booth next to Melissa, pinning her between him and the wall. He put his elbows on the table, tenting his fingers together in front of him. “Hello to you, too, Jenna. Long time, no see.”
Melissa looked like she was going to have a heart attack; her face was even paler than mine felt. She gripped wildly at the leather booth behind her, unable to grasp anything but air. She squirmed around, and I thought for sure she was going to try to slide under the table to get away. “What the fuck?” Her voice was raspy, almost whimpering. “Let me out of here, okay? Please?” I could see she was starting to shake. “I don’t want anything to do with this.”
Daniel didn’t move. He just stared across the table at me, his eyes narrowed almost to slits, his nostrils flared.
It was the first time I’d ever seen him like this. I’d heard it on the phone when he had called, demanding to know who I was seeing. But I’d never seen him look at me this way, the malice coursing through him almost palpable. My heart raced and it felt like my stomach had turned to stone. I still couldn’t bring my voice much above a whisper. “Let her go.” I licked at my lips. “You don’t want her. Just let her go.”
He tapped his fingers together. “I don’t think so.” He slid closer to Melissa, blocking her in the booth with his leg. “Not until I get some answers.” He turned to face her. “Perhaps you’d be willing to provide them, Mel?” He turned back to look at me. “Tell me what Jenna won’t?”
Her voice quivered. “Don’t call me that.” Her chin trembled. “Just let me out of here. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”
He nodded. “Tell me what I want to know and I’ll let you out.” He narrowed his eyes and leaned closer to her, giving her an almost menacing look. “Who’s Jenna sleeping with?”
Her eyes darted to mine, apologetic, and then back to his. I could hear the shaking in her voice as she betrayed me. Her answer came out as only a little whimper, barely above a whisper. “Brandon.” She looked back over at me and I could see the tears clouding her eyes. “Please just let me out.”
I blinked my eyes several times, my jaw gaping open. Had she just done that? Had she really just told him?
Daniel stood up and made a sweeping motion with his arm, urging her out of the booth. She almost ran out, bumping into the table as she tried to find her footing. She looked back at me as she left, her chin still quivering. Her voice was as hushed as mine. “I’m sorry, Jenna.” She bolted out of the restaurant in a flash and without another word.
He sat back down across from me and drummed his fingers on the table, only tipping his head from one side to the other every minute or so. He seemed to be almost daring me to speak first.
I watched him as we sat there in silence. My mouth couldn’t find words to form. All I could do was sit and watch him tap his fingers over and over against the wood. Cold sweat dripped down my back and I chewed on my lips to keep myself from crying.
We sat there in silence for what seemed like an eternity. He finally spoke. “You don’t have anything to say for yourself?”
I lifted my gaze to meet his, a gasp escaping my mouth. “What?”
He tapped against the table with a single finger. “You’re not going to make some lame ass excuse for cheating on me?”
That was it; my fear evaporated into the air like the morning mist. I lifted my chin in defiance, pounding my fist against the table. “Are you kidding me? I cheated on you?”
He nodded, pinning me with his dark, hooded eyes.
The waitress chose that moment to bring the dinner that Mel and I had ordered. She seemed oblivious to the fact that Mel had now been replaced by the tall, dark haired man that now sat in front of me. She set down the bowls and left.
He shook his head, his lip curled into a sneer. “How could you, Jenna? After everything we’d been through?”
My eyes widened as my body tensed. I kept my voice lowered, even though I wanted to scream at the man. I dug my fingernails into my palm to try to tamp
down the sudden rage I felt bubbling beneath my skin. “Because you were dead. I let you go, Daniel. You’d been dead for over a year.”
He kept shaking his head like I was telling him something completely unbelievable. “There’s no excuse for this, Jenna. He was a friend. You should have known better.”
I lifted my palms toward the ceiling, shaking them out in front of me. I had to force myself not to shout. “What in the fuck are you talking about? Are you not listening to me? You were dead. DEAD. I didn’t know you knew him. How could I have known that?”
His head never stopped turning from side to side, shaking at me as though he couldn’t believe a word I was saying. “Because you should have known. You should have known that sleaze was using you. You’re not that stupid, Jenna. I didn’t think you were, anyway.”
I had to force myself again to keep my voice down. I spoke to him through my gritted teeth. “I loved you. When you died, I thought I’d never love anyone again. But I let you go, you stupid asshole. I. Let. You. Go.”
“That’s the difference between us, Jenna. I would have never let you go.”
I balled my hands into fists in front of me, pounding them on the table. “We’ve had this conversation before, Daniel. We’ve already been through this, and I’m not having this conversation with you again.” I glared over at him. “Listen to me. You died. You didn’t let me know that you faked your suicide. What choice did I have? You cannot seriously have believed I would have grieved for you for the rest of my life.” I seethed through my teeth. “That is the most insane, idiotic thing…” I stopped myself. I was ready to strangle him with my bare hands. First he’d put me through over a year of torturing myself, blaming myself for his death. Now this? Now he wanted me to blame myself for everything. His narcissism was incredible.
He let out a long sigh and looked at me with the dark eyes that used to melt me. I noticed that for the first time, they didn’t do much of anything to me anymore. He shook his head again, his voice choking out the words. “I love you. I never stopped loving you. I did what I had to do to protect you. To protect your family. And this is the thanks that you’re giving me. Sleeping with the guy I hired to bring you back to me.” He picked up Melissa’s drink and took a long swig straight from the glass. He hunched over the table and I could see that he was upset, more hurt than he was letting on.
I reached out for his hand, my chest aching. “Daniel, I loved you. I loved you more than you’ll know. But I let you go. It’s time for you to do the same thing.”
He snatched his hand away from mine. “You’re making a mistake. With him. You couldn’t make a bigger mistake.” He shook his head at me. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into with him, Jenna. It isn’t worth it.”
I shook my head slowly. The last thing I wanted to do was rub salt in his wounds, but he had to let go. “You can’t keep holding on to our past, Daniel. You have to move on. We can’t go back. You can’t even be here.”
He narrowed his eyes at me, bending forward, leaning across the table. “I did this for you. All of this. For you.” He shook his head and leaned back. “Do you even know what that guy is capable of? What he’ll do to you? To your father?”
“He’s never done anything to me, Daniel. I think his intentions are pure. I really do.”
He almost spit out the noodle he’d shoved into his mouth from Melissa’s bowl, choking. He took another drink from the glass, gulping down the liquid. He set the glass down, almost slamming it into the table. “Pure? You are so damned naive, Jenna. That man has an ulterior motive for everything. Every single thing he does has an ulterior motive. The only reason he took the job to get you back to me was to have an in with your family. Don’t you see that?” He crossed his arms over his chest, narrowing his gaze once again.
I shook my head, biting my lower lip. There was no way that was true. “Brandon’s never even mentioned my family to me. Not even once. He hasn’t asked about anything, nothing. You’re wrong about him. Everyone is.” My gaze softened. “I know this is hard for you. I know it is, because it’s hard for me, too. But you have to let this go. You have to. For both of us, you have to.”
“Jenna, don’t underestimate me. You make this choice, you’ll regret it. You will regret it more than you can ever imagine.”
I looked up at the ceiling, trying hard to empathize with him. I hadn’t been the one desperate to get him back for the last year and a half. I’d been the one trying to let him go myself. I’d had a lot more time with it than he had. I looked back over at him. “I know you imagined a life that I just can’t give you anymore. And I’m sorry. I really am. I wish things had been different. I wish you’d told me sooner. I do.”
He reached across the table for my hand this time. “You can still choose us, Jenna. It isn’t too late. I can forgive you for being with… him. But you need to choose us. It’s perfect timing. We’ll go back to Japan. You can live with me in the house…”
I interrupted his fantasy. “No. No, I can’t Daniel. We both know I can’t.” I looked down at the table and pressed my lips together. I knew I needed to say it out loud, even though I hadn’t admitted it to anyone, not even to myself. “I love him. I’m in love with Brandon.”
I thought he’d flee, but he didn’t. He squeezed my hand. “There’s no way he loves you back, Jenna. Even if he did, there’s no way he could ever love you as much as I love you.”
My fingers flew to my neck and I touched at the pendant Brandon had given me. He did love me. I knew he did. I knew I loved him, even though I hadn’t been able to verbalize it before now. I shook my head. “You’re wrong, Daniel.”
His mouth twisted around and his eyes clouded, but it wasn’t the same anger I’d seen in them before. It was sadness. “I’m sorry, Jenna. I’m sorry for everything, for not telling you sooner. I’m sorry about today. I know how much it meant to you.”
I pulled my hand from his, tipping my head to the side. “What do you mean, you’re sorry for today? You knew about the audition?”
He gulped. He took another drink from Melissa’s glass before shrugging his shoulders. “I heard they called you. I had a friend on the board. I made a few calls.” He met my angry gaze. “Look, I was pissed. I’m sorry.”
The realization of what he was saying almost knocked me over. “I can’t… I can’t believe you’d do that to me. If you love me the way you say, I just… I can’t.” I stood up from my side of the booth and turned to walk out of the restaurant.
He caught me by the shoulder. “Jenna, wait.” He spun me to face him. “I’m sorry. I know I hurt you. I know I hurt you more than anyone could have ever hurt anyone. But everything I did was to protect you.” He looked down at the floor. “Not today, not what I did today. But everything else.” He looked back into my eyes. “It was all for you.”
I shook my head, fighting tears again. “No. I don’t believe that. Everything you’ve done has been for yourself, Daniel. If there had even been a shred, even a thread of hope for the two of us, you destroyed that tonight.”
“No, Jenna, no. Don’t do this. Don’t make me do something you’re going to regret.” It should have sounded like a threat, but instead he almost sounded like he was begging, pleading with me.
I could only shake my head at him. I didn’t want to hear anything else from him, not then and not ever again. I turned on my heel and walked out of the restaurant, determined to never lay eyes on Daniel Sato again.
3
I walked—it was all I seemed to be able to do. I couldn’t even get my thoughts together; everything had just become so…weird. I couldn’t seem to rid myself of the tightness in my chest and the churning in my stomach. I walked for what seemed like forever and finally found myself in front of the co-op where Mel and I had once spent so much time together. Where I’d first met Brandon.
A yoga class would have been amazing, but my jeans and t-shirt weren’t exactly appropriate attire. I asked at the front desk which classes were open that night. Onl
y yoga, pottery and watercolor. Even though painting was about the last thing I wanted to do at that moment, it was better than going home to face Mel to ask her why in the hell she felt like it was okay to sell me out to Daniel. For what? Her safety? Her anxiety? I didn’t need that confrontation yet. My stomach turned again just thinking about it.
I took a seat in the back of the classroom next to an elderly woman with hair that was so white it was almost blue. She gave me a polite smile. I forced a thin lipped smile to my face and nodded in return, not really wanting to make conversation with anyone that night, no matter how pleasant. I set up my paints and listened to the instructor for a while. I was terrible at painting, but there was something relaxing about it, at least most nights. It had to be better than sitting at home, wringing my hands about what might or might not happen, no matter how irrational my fears seemed. At least I didn’t have to think about Daniel for a little while.
We had been listening to the instructor, watching him demonstrate some technique for several minutes when the woman jabbed me in the side with her elbow. I turned to face her. “That young man over there is making eyes at you, sweetie. He looks like a catch.” She waggled her eyebrows up and down.
I looked over to the other side of the classroom, the hairs on my arms standing on end already. I should have known Brandon would find me there. He had that knack. I dropped my head back to my work and refused to make eye contact with him. I didn’t really need to deal with him right then, either. It all was just too… too much.
I spent the next several minutes trying to paint the same effect the instructor was demonstrating. It looked like a preschooler’s finger painting—it was that terrible. I shifted myself around in my seat and dug my fingernails into my palm, watching the demonstration one more time. I shook my head at myself and tried again. My second try was even worse than my first. I’d only been there fifteen minutes, but it was too long already. I pinched my lips together and ran my hand through my hair. One more try, and then I’d be out of there. I didn’t really need the frustration and I didn’t know what I’d been thinking. I should have known that watercolor painting would anything but relaxing for me that night. Nothing would relax me, not when my head was about to explode from everything else going on.