The Twin Birthright

by Catherine Mann

  “This is where I want to be.” He paused for a moment, looking back at the twin girls in their orange snowsuits. Flicking his gaze back to the riders, he played with the lead in his hand before pulling on the sleigh again. There was much about this place to enjoy. “Although it would be nice if the twins were old enough to ride. With their genetics, I’m sure they’ll be in the saddle soon.”

  “Lots of firsts to dream of for them. And individual pursuits, too. I want them to find their own favorites.”

  Firsts he would miss out on. The hole in his heart felt wider than ever. “You’re already a great mom.” The wind picked up off the bay. Concerned for the twins, he steered them toward the boathouse.

  “I appreciate that, but it’s still scarier than I expected.”

  Royce locked his eyes forward. He wanted to make sure he’d be there for her. Provide support to her by helping with the girls. “You’ve taken on a lot in a short time.”

  “I have an incredible amount of support and financial security.”

  “That doesn’t automatically make life simple.” As they reached the boathouse, he gestured toward the door and shot her a questioning look.

  She nodded, pushing it open, so he could slide the sleigh inside. He did so carefully, without waking the girls. “Well, all the support will help in the future,” Naomi said.

  “You can always call on me.” He glanced around the interior. Slim stripes of light slanted through the vents along the ceiling.

  She flicked a switch, electricity humming to life as they continued inside, away from the biting wind. “Is that really fair to you, though?”

  “No worries, I can protect myself.” He steered her toward a wall-long bench covered in a blue canvas cushion with little white anchors woven into the pattern.

  She studied him through narrowed eyes as she sat. He settled beside her. Almost touching. His heart rate picked up with a prickly awareness of how tenuous the line was he was walking as he turned the conversation.

  “Are you saying you want to be friends while you’re working at the company?”

  Friends?

  Was that really what she thought he wanted? He was so aware of her—her scent, the way her skin softened under his fingers—that he could feel her, and they weren’t even touching. He clenched his fingers into a fist to keep from reaching out to her. “I’m not sure anything platonic would work for us. But we didn’t take time to become friends before.”

  “Then you’re saying friends with benefits—because of the off-the-charts sex life?”

  “Is that such a bad thing?”

  He caught her gaze then. The electricity no longer just hummed in the boathouse lights. Instead, sparks danced between them, caught in the way neither of them could seem to look away. He saw conflicted feelings in her dark brown eyes. But also saw the longing. He just needed to be patient.

  Naomi blinked, looking down. Breaking the moment between them. “I need to tell you something.”

  His positive vibes faded. The hesitant tone in her voice didn’t bode well.

  “You sound ominous.”

  She bit her bottom lip again. “Chuck has looked at the numbers from the finance department regarding implementing your changes. We’re coming up short. We might not be able to fund the overhaul to the pipeline.”

  A chill settled in his gut. The project he was passionate about—the tweak to the pipeline that would make the Alaska Oil Barons’ drilling more environmentally friendly—would go belly-up. All because he’d let himself believe what he’d wanted to believe. That he could work with Naomi, could justify stepping out of his solitary research and still hold on to his world while being a part of hers.

  Now all that work was at risk. His time. His research. Everything he’d poured himself into for years.

  The reality raked him raw. And it still didn’t hurt as much as knowing that—if what she was saying was true—he’d just lost his excuse to stay close to Naomi. That hurt more than anything.

  * * *

  Naomi tried to imagine a moment when this space, her suite, would feel normal and settled again. Or at least as sturdy as the timbers on the ceiling that reminded her of a ship’s hull. A ship that could sail into a storm, unflinching.

  She could use some of that bravado about now.

  Winking sunlight filtered into the enclosed balcony that had been turned into a nursery, golden amber rays dusting the pink embellishments on the crib. Glints of light fractured as they struck the large crystalline bear on the top shelf of the bookcase. The bear had been in her family for as long as anyone could remember. At least something about this moment rang true. Constant. Familiar.

  Carefully, Naomi plastered a smile onto her face as she removed the snow gear from her daughters. Mary was up first. Removing the outer layer, Naomi cooed at her, a new peace falling over her as she watched her baby suck on her fist.

  Already, distinct personalities were forming. Mary hated the pacifier, preferring her fists. Anna loved to be held much more than her sister. Mary preferred to take in the world from a distance, content with her surroundings. Anna loved her pacifier, was a little fussier. After Naomi finished pulling the snow gear off Anna, she cradled each baby in an arm for a moment before settling them into the twin bassinet.

  A snore interrupted her reverie. Naomi’s gaze fell to the big Saint Bernard. Tessie slept in a dog bed by the window. Her brown-and-white fur glistened in the fading light.

  Naomi’s nerves were ragged after how the magical day had taken such a downward spiral. The walk with Royce had been fraught with tension, that explosive kiss and her dream lingering just below the surface for the whole outing, temptingly so.

  Dangerous thoughts, especially when there was no denying he wanted her, too.

  Except those feeling had him closing off from her. As the walk had ended, he’d shut down and shut her out. She should be glad for the distance, but her heart stung all the same, reminding her why they’d broken up in the first place...more than once. Moving from her feeling smothered to her worrying that he wanted her and the girls as a replacement for the fiancée and child he’d lost. Her worries that he couldn’t thrive in her big, boisterous family.

  There were too many ways a relationship between them didn’t work. But that didn’t stop her from wanting him more than breath.

  Royce’s knuckles drained of color as he gripped his key chain, she noticed. His free hand sought the small abacus on the ring, his fingers fidgeting with the device for a moment before he put the baby snowsuits in the laundry room on a hook to dry.

  Searching for a way to disperse the awkward silence, she said, “I can take the girls down for dinner if you would prefer to hibernate up here.”

  “I’m not a bear. I can manage dinner with your family.”

  He was sure growling like a bear. His slick, all-black clothing hid nothing of his muscled physique. The power of his chest and arms temporarily distracted her.

  But then, he had a reason to be grumpy, given the bombshell she’d dropped on him. It was selfish of her, since all the data wasn’t in yet from running Chuck’s numbers. She’d used the business excuse to create distance, and thereby caused him added worry. “I was just trying to be thoughtful. After all, you’ve given up your space for me and the girls.”

  “We could go to my place, if you’re concerned about it.”

  His offer stopped her cold. It was tempting, and totally unworkable.

  She gathered her thoughts for three heartbeats before she said, “We wouldn’t fit.”

  Moving to his place would complicate everything even more. No. She needed to stay here. On her turf, her territory. Hold on to a semblance of power before she caved completely to the sensual pull of him. She recognized the push and pull between them, each trying to retain power in the situation, both strong-willed, both battling feelings they’d hoped were just temporary.<
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  “A crib. A couple of car seats. I don’t see the problem,” he said, with a challenge in his eyes.

  Was he trying to push her away? To bail because of what she’d told him? There was a time she would have sworn she could read him. Now, she lived in a constant state of confusion when it came to this man. “You can leave if you’re ready. I would understand.”

  His strong jaw jutted. “I said I was staying until the gala, when your father returns, and I meant it.”

  The deep timbre of his voice filled the room and Tessie lifted her head from the dog bed with a low whimper.

  “You’re not obligated to stay.” Naomi knelt beside the dog, threading her fingers through the silky soft fur.

  “I gave you my word, and where you and the babies are is where I want to be.” He walked to the twins’ bassinet and gripped the edge.

  “Is this situation getting you closure?” The words tumbled from her mouth, the ache in her chest deepening. “Because I’m not feeling it.”

  He glanced over his shoulder at her. “Naomi—”

  “No.” She couldn’t play this game anymore. Not with the lump growing in her throat, pushing tears to her eyes. She needed to understand what the hell they were doing. “I’m not going to let you steamroll me or charm me or whatever your next plan is. This is so much more confusing than helpful. We’re torturing ourselves—”

  “Naomi, stop.” He straightened from the bassinet. “You and I want each other, there’s no denying that. The attraction between us has been the one constant in our relationship and it isn’t going away.”

  “Then put some distance between us. I don’t want my daughters to be hurt because you’re using them as surrogates for the child you lost.”

  “So you’ve said,” he answered tightly. “I care about those girls enough not to do anything to hurt them. Listen when I say I’m not going anywhere—” A squawk from the bassinet had him turning back to the twins.

  “Royce.” Naomi strode toward him. “They’re my daughters. I can handle this.”

  “Wait,” he said, turning back toward her with Mary in his arms.

  “What now?” She sighed in exasperation.

  His gaze pinned hers. “I think Mary has a fever.”

  Nine

  One step. Two steps. Three. Pivot and begin again.

  Royce focused on the motion like a mantra in the examination area of the local emergency room. His fingers slid along his key chain abacus. But the ritual didn’t bring much in the way of relief.

  Each breath he drew revealed a new layer of pain and anxiety. His throat felt tight. Scenarios unfolded in his mind’s eye, each more terrifying than the last.

  He barely registered the whispers from the other side of the room as Delaney Steele and Glenna Mikkelson comforted Naomi, taking turns rubbing her back. Delaney’s gaze met Royce’s, her eyes soft with sympathy and support.

  Soon they’d be discharged and could pick up the prescription.

  Glancing over at Naomi again, he noticed the way her shoulders sank as her normally expressive, lithe body seemed to crumple in her oversize fringed cardigan as she cradled a baby in each arm.

  Mary had a fever of 102 degrees Fahrenheit. Anna had a low-grade fever, as well. The doctor assured them the illness had nothing to do with the time outdoors. It was just a virus going around. But Royce couldn’t help feeling guilty. Had he been so wrapped up in Naomi that he’d missed cues from the twins that they weren’t feeling well?

  They weren’t cranky, though, just sleeping more.

  Still, he felt like he’d failed them. Had failed Naomi.

  Maybe he wasn’t dad material. He’d been pushing his needs onto them, torturing himself and Naomi both because of proximity, temptation and abstaining. Now, it felt as if it was all imploding. With his work at the company in jeopardy anyway, all this—his reason for finding middle ground with Naomi—would be moot.

  Their deadline, the gala, was only a little over a week away. After that, his work with the company would begin to pick up speed, provided the contract went through. He would return to his regular hours and wouldn’t have this pseudo paternity leave.

  A week left to forge some kind of connection that could last into the future. Or say goodbye forever.

  Either way, time was running out to get his head together. He drew in a deep breath as he thrust his hands in his pockets to escape the slight chill of the air.

  Naomi chewed a bottom lip, obviously rattled. Her hand trembled. Delaney gave her a hug, her reddish-brown hair obscuring her sister for a moment. He wanted to comfort Naomi, too, but she was deep in conversation with Delaney and Glenna.

  Naomi’s hair framed her slender face, those dark eyes filled with worry for the infants she held so protectively. “I know the doctor says the walk didn’t cause this, but I still feel guilty. Why didn’t I sense there was something off with them?”

  Delaney wrapped her arm around her sister’s shoulders. “If you’d stayed inside you would have been blaming yourself for not giving them enough fresh air and sunshine.”

  Glenna nodded, wisps of her blond hair falling out of her upswept bun. “You’re a good mom. You’re a careful mom. Babies get sick. It happens.” She placed a manicured hand on Naomi’s back.

  Royce knew in his head that they’d both been careful with the babies. But in his heart? His gut?

  A young doctor completing his residency came back into the room carrying a transparent clipboard, stethoscope slung around his neck. Boyish features made him seem impossibly young. As he opened his mouth to deliver an update, something seemed to halt his words.

  Royce recognized that look. Calculation and observation became visible in his stare as he looked at Naomi. A longer pause. An assessment. The scientific process in action.

  The doctor cleared his throat, his voice commanding much more authority than his young frame suggested. “Let’s get a temperature on you.”

  Royce looked up sharply, understanding the doctor’s previous scrutiny. Naomi? Sick, too? How had he not noticed?

  “What? I feel fine,” she insisted. “Just a little tired, which is normal. I have twins.” She twisted her hand in the air, a subtle protest echoed by her rings, as the turquoise-and-silver jewelry clinked together.

  “Humor me.” The doctor held up the thermometer, waiting.

  Naomi sighed, passed Mary and Anna to Delaney, then opened her mouth.

  Royce watched the monitor. The numbers climbed...and stopped at 101.2. Ah, hell. He hadn’t missed just that the girls were ill. He’d been so wrapped up in having the hots for Naomi, he’d missed the signs that she was suffering, too.

  The doctor looked in her mouth and ears quickly, then listened to her heart before nodding. “That virus bug has bit you, as well. Bed rest for all three of you.”

  Royce knew it was just a routine illness, but his protective impulses fired full force. And a boatload of worry piled on top. These past weeks hadn’t brought him any nearer to closure.

  The time had only shown him how much of a hold Naomi still had over him.

  * * *

  Naomi had to admit there were times when a big family grated on her, but in moments of crisis, fatigue and trouble, gratitude filled her heart. She’d been so concerned with the twins, she’d failed to take care of her own body and focus on her own health. Thankfully, her younger sister and her sister-in-law were around, ready and willing to give her a much-needed reprieve. A night to practice self-care, sleep, become strong again.

  Glenna and Delaney took Anna and Mary, stocked up with bottles of milk Naomi had expressed. Upon arriving at her suite, Naomi had made a beeline for the shower, where warm water caressed her aching muscles. She’d added an extra layer of indulgence to her routine by changing into winter silk pj’s, and sinking into her sofa. She grabbed a burgundy cashmere blanket from a side basket, pulling i
t over her lap, enjoying the texture as it rubbed sensuously against exposed skin.

  Royce had brought her a mug of chamomile tea with lemon before returning to the kitchen to heat up soup Delaney had sent.

  And no question, Royce was the sexist “nurse” she’d ever met.

  Vivaldi played in the background, and she let her imagination spin with fantasies of waltzing with Royce, his strong arms around her, sweeping her off her feet.

  Damn. If she hadn’t known better, she would have sworn she was delirious with fever.

  She hadn’t even realized how bad she felt until the doctor noticed. She’d been so focused on the children. The ER physician had warned her that the viral infection could turn into something bacterial if she wasn’t careful. Her immune system had been depleted by childbirth and caring for twins. She’d also been working even when tired.

  And there was no denying her tumultuous relationship with Royce had worn her down. He was leaving soon. But saying goodbye and seeing him only occasionally at work wouldn’t be any easier than facing him here every day.

  She cupped the mug of hot tea in her hands, curling her legs up under the blanket.

  Royce glanced over his shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

  “Just tired. A little achy. Nothing major.” She sipped the tea, the lemon and honey teasing her taste buds, which always seemed to be on hyperdrive around him, like the rest of her senses. “I hate that everyone’s making such a fuss. I want to take care of my girls.”

  He turned toward her, carrying a tray with two bowls of Alaskan king crab chowder and fluffy wheat rolls. “If you run yourself down more, it’ll be longer before you’re on your feet. They’re fine. They’re here in the house being pampered to pieces by Glenna and Delaney. If they need you, you’re only an elevator ride away.”

  “I know...it’s just hard being away from them.”

  “Understandable.” He set the tray on the coffee table, the creamy soup sending savory steam into the air.