The Doctor's Christmas Gift

by Jennifer Taylor

  ‘Oh, um, don’t mention it.’ She took a quick breath but there was no way she could admit that she hadn’t come to offer her services when she saw the relief on his face. It struck her all of a sudden just how much pressure he must be under as he tried to balance the demands of his job against the needs of his children.

  It was that very thought which had convinced her years ago that having a family was out of the question. Now Catherine felt a wave of sickness rise inside her when it hit her afresh how impossible it would be to fulfil her dream of opening her own practice if she had a family to care for. It was odd how upsetting she suddenly found it when the thought of not having children had never bothered her before.

  ‘Damn!’

  She looked up when Matt cursed, hoping he couldn’t tell how shocked she felt. To suddenly realise that she was having doubts about the life she had chosen was unsettling enough, but to face the fact that the reason for her change of heart was because of Matt was so much worse. Falling in love went against everything she had ever believed in, and falling in love with a man with a ready-made family would be a complete disaster. It would be so easy to end up in the same position her mother had been in…

  Except that Matt would never let her down as her father had let her mother down, a small voice whispered. He wasn’t that type of a man.

  Her head spun as the thoughts whirled inside it but she’d had years to perfect the art of hiding her feelings and it stood her in good stead now. ‘Is something wrong?’

  ‘I’ve just remembered that Becky has choir practice after school tonight so she’s going to be late getting home. I was counting on her to look after Hannah, but she won’t be back till five o’clock. There is no way that I can leave Hannah on her own for all that time.’

  ‘What about your aunt? Can she look after Hannah for you?’

  ‘No. I was just speaking to her on the phone when you knocked, in fact. I was hoping that Aunt Bet might be able to fetch Hannah from school if I sent a taxi for her, but it turns out that her knee is worse than ever. I’ve given her strict instructions that she’s got to stay off her feet until the swelling subsides.’ He shook his head. ‘The only thing I can do is to tell Sharon to cancel some of the antenatal appointments.’

  Catherine frowned. She could tell how much he disliked the idea and understood why. It was essential that every expectant mother received regular antenatal care throughout her pregnancy to avoid any possible complications.

  ‘Would it help if I stayed with Hannah until Becky gets home?’ she suggested slowly, unable to think of a better solution.

  ‘Oh, no. I can’t expect you to do that,’ he began, but she didn’t let him finish. Maybe she did have doubts about the wisdom of her offer but in her professional opinion it was the only solution. There was no way that she could allow her personal feelings to interfere with the welfare of their patients.

  ‘It really isn’t a problem, Matt,’ she said coolly. ‘It would be highly unprofessional to cancel any appointments.’

  ‘In that case, I’ll accept your offer. Thank you.’

  His tone matched hers and she frowned because she wasn’t sure why she had the feeling that he was upset. She shot him a careful look from under her lashes but his expression gave away little about his true feelings. He dug in his pocket and came up with a bunch of keys which he handed to her.

  ‘Here’s the keys to the house. I try to keep the children out of the surgery so let yourself in through the front door. Hannah usually has her tea as soon as she gets home so I’ll leave something ready for her.’

  ‘Don’t worry. I’ll sort it all out.’

  She turned away because she didn’t want him to see how much it hurt to hear him talk to her in that distant tone. Maybe Matt was only following her lead but she missed hearing the usual warmth in his voice, that special note that he reserved for her alone.

  Her heart bumped painfully because up till then she hadn’t been conscious of the fact that he spoke to her any differently, but it was true. Maybe that was part of his appeal, the fact that he made her feel so special?

  Tears burned her eyes as she slipped the keys into her pocket. In the whole of her life nobody had ever made feel really special before. Oh, she’d always striven to be the best at everything she did: top of her class at school; the student with the highest marks in college; the most promising trainee during her postgraduate studies. However, nobody had ever made her feel as though she was number one just because she was herself. Matt did, though. She didn’t need to be anyone in his eyes other than Catherine.

  ‘Thanks again, Catherine. I really appreciate this. If you have any problems, just come and get me.’

  ‘We’ll be fine, Matt.’ She looked up and there was no way that she could pretend at that moment because she didn’t have the strength to lie to herself. If she was special to Matt then he was just as special to her. ‘You don’t need to worry about Hannah because I’ll look after her.’

  ‘I know you will.’

  His tone was suddenly filled with all the warmth and tenderness that had been missing before. Catherine felt her heart swell with sudden happiness. She had the craziest urge to tell him how good it felt to have him talk to her that way again but she couldn’t do that. It went way beyond the boundaries she had lived within for all these years and she was too scared to go that far. Even though she knew in her heart that Matt was very different from her father, the fear of being let down was still too strong.

  ‘Oh, by the way, I had a phone call from the housing officer first thing this morning about Mrs Grimes. Apparently, they’ve found a flat for her in a sheltered housing complex on the outskirts of the city.’

  ‘What about her cat? Can she take it with her?’ she put in quickly, not wanting to dwell on such unsettling thoughts because it didn’t seem to help.

  ‘Yes. That’s the really good news. Mrs Grimes has already looked at the flat and it meets with her approval. With a bit of luck she should be rehoused before Christmas.’

  ‘That’s great. It’s such a relief to know that she’s got somewhere safe to live at last.’

  ‘It is.’ His tone softened. ‘I know how worried you were about her, Catherine.’

  Catherine didn’t say anything although it was disconcerting to admit that Matt was right. She had been worried about the old lady and it just seemed to highlight once again how much her attitude had changed since she’d started working at the surgery.

  She left his office and went back to her room to finish tidying up then went for lunch. There was a bistro further along the road so she decided to go there for a treat. The food was good and the atmosphere was convivial yet she derived very little enjoyment from her solitary meal. Sitting there on her own just made her feel lonely.

  She tried to shed her sombre mood by reminding herself of all the good things about her life. She was a successful doctor on her way to achieving her dream of opening her own practice. She had a beautiful flat, a nice car and plenty of lovely clothes. A lot of women would be thrilled to trade places with her.

  Nevertheless, as she sat there, listing all the things she had to be grateful for, she couldn’t ignore the negative aspects of her life. She did have a beautiful flat but she lived there on her own. When she drove her car, there was nobody sitting in the seat beside her. And as for all the beautiful clothes hanging in her wardrobe, when was the last time anyone had paid her compliment about how she looked?

  What it all came down to was that she was a woman on her own, and it scared her to think of all the lonely years ahead. Did she want to end up like poor Mrs Grimes with just a cat for company? Yet what was the alternative? Was she really prepared to give up everything she’d worked so hard to achieve for the sake of love?

  She paid her bill and left the restaurant. Her car was still parked at the surgery so she went back to fetch it so she could do the house calls. It wasn’t far to the first address and within a few minutes she was drawing up outside. Switching off the engine, she r
eached for her case and suddenly caught sight of herself in the rear-view mirror.

  A shiver ran through her when she saw the uncertainty in her brown eyes. She hadn’t answered the question about whether or not she would give up everything for love because she was no longer sure what the answer should be. A few weeks ago she wouldn’t have had to think about it, but that had been before she’d met Matt. Now she couldn’t put her hand on her heart and swear that she would never fall in love, and the thought of what it could mean scared her. Would Matt really be enough to compensate for having to forfeit her dreams?

  Catherine had ample time to get her calls done before she needed to collect Hannah from school. The little girl was delighted when she saw her standing in the playground, and came running straight over to her.

  ‘My teacher said you were coming, Catherine! Daddy phoned and told her that you’d be here to meet me.’

  ‘Did he indeed?’ Catherine chuckled. It was hard to remain aloof in the face of the child’s enthusiasm. ‘And there I was hoping I’d be able to surprise you.’

  ‘Oh, it was still a surprise!’ Hannah assured her, slipping her hand into Catherine’s as they left the playground. ‘I really like it when you come to fetch me. I love Granny, but I can pretend that I have a real mummy like all the other boys and girls when you come for me.’

  Catherine wasn’t sure what to say to that. The admission had touched her deeply but she didn’t want Hannah getting the wrong idea. She sighed because there wasn’t an easy way to explain to the child the true nature of the situation when she had such difficulty understanding it herself.

  The old Catherine would never have dreamt of collecting Hannah from school. It wouldn’t have crossed her mind to worry about the problems Matt might be experiencing, juggling his work and his family. She would have done her job and that would have been the sum total of her input. It just went to prove the effect he had on her and that, of course, opened the floodgates to some more in-depth soul-searching. It was a good job that Hannah didn’t seem to need her input and chattered away as they made their way back to the house.

  ‘Take off your coat and put it away then we can see what Daddy has left for your tea,’ Catherine instructed after she had let them in.

  ‘OK!’

  Hannah went shooting off up the hall and bundled her coat into the cupboard under the stairs. Catherine shook her head as she went after her and hung it on a peg.

  ‘It will be creased to rags if you don’t hang it up, madam.’

  ‘That’s what Daddy calls me—a little madam.’ Hannah laughed as she followed Catherine to the kitchen. ‘He also calls me his little monkey.’

  ‘Very apt,’ she replied dryly, looking round. There was no sign of a note so she went to the fridge, hoping that Matt might have left Hannah’s tea in there, but once again drew a blank. She closed the fridge, wondering if she should go through to the surgery and ask him what she should give Hannah, but it didn’t seem worth making a fuss.

  ‘I don’t think your daddy has had time to make your tea so what would you like to eat?’

  ‘Fish fingers and chips,’ Hannah replied promptly. She ran to the freezer and took out a packet of fish fingers and a bag of oven chips.

  ‘Right, fish fingers and chips it is.’ Catherine agreed, then cast an uncertain look at the solid-fuel range. ‘That’s if I can work out how to use this monstrosity.’

  ‘Daddy puts the chips and fish fingers in the oven,’ Hannah explained helpfully.

  ‘Well, that sounds simple enough.’ Catherine opened the oven door and peered inside, drawing back when a blast of heat hit her.

  ‘Can I watch television, please?’ Hannah asked.

  ‘Yes, of course,’ she replied distractedly, wondering if the oven was too hot. There didn’t seem to be any way to adjust the temperature, however, so she found a tray and put the fish and chips on it while Hannah went upstairs. She checked her watch after she closed the oven door. It would take at least twenty minutes before the food was ready so she may as well go upstairs and watch television as well.

  Hannah had found a cartoon on the children’s channel so they sat on the sofa and watched it together. It had been years since Catherine had seen any children’s programmes and she soon found herself laughing at the cartoon characters’ antics. They were both engrossed when she suddenly heard a shrieking noise coming from downstairs.

  ‘What on earth is that?’ she began, then gasped in dismay. ‘It’s the smoke alarm! Come along, Hannah. Be quick now.’

  She bustled the child out of the sitting room and down the stairs. Clouds of black smoke were billowing out of the kitchen so she hurried the little girl along the hall, wanting to be sure she was safe before she went to investigate. Matt met them at the front door. She could see Sharon and a couple of patients standing in the drive and realised that he must have evacuated the surgery when he’d heard the alarm ringing.

  ‘What’s happened?’

  ‘I don’t know but there’s smoke coming out of the kitchen.’

  ‘Stay there and I’ll take a look,’ he instructed, hurrying into the house.

  Catherine waited outside, her heart racing as she wondered if she should have stopped him going back inside. One read such terrible stories about people being trapped in blazing houses. What if he was overcome by smoke? she thought sickly. He might not be able to get out of the house in time.

  ‘Looks like I’ve found the culprit.’

  Matt came back, carrying a blackened tray. Catherine stared incredulously at the charred remains of Hannah’s tea. ‘You mean all that smoke came from a couple of fish fingers and a few chips?’

  ‘Yep, looks like it.’

  She heard the amusement in his voice and a wave of embarrassed heat rushed up her face. ‘I’m really sorry, Matt! I just don’t know what to say. I’ve never used an oven like that before and had no idea the food would cook so quickly.’

  ‘It’s not your fault, Catherine. That stove is difficult to use if you’re not used to it.’ He touched her lightly on the arm and she saw the tenderness in his gaze. ‘So long as nobody was hurt, it really doesn’t matter, does it?’

  ‘No,’ she agreed, although her heart was hammering so fast that it was difficult to form even that single word. She took a quick breath when Sharon came over to ask if it was safe to go back into the surgery. Matt asked her to take the patients back inside then told Hannah she could go back into the house.

  ‘Catherine will be along very shortly,’ he assured the child when she hung back. ‘I just want to have a word with her first.’

  ‘You won’t tell her off, will you, Daddy?’ Hannah said anxiously.

  ‘Of course not! Although Catherine might tell me off for not leaving your tea ready as I promised to do.’

  Hannah giggled as she ran back inside. Matt sighed as he turned to Catherine. ‘Joking aside, I really wouldn’t blame you if you did tell me off. I am truly sorry that you had such a fright when you were trying to do me a favour.’

  ‘Some favour! I almost burnt down your house.’

  ‘Stop exaggerating. There was never any danger of the house burning down. And, as I said, it was my fault for not leaving everything ready for you. I had a problem with one of my expectant mums,’ he explained. ‘Her blood pressure was sky high and I decided that she needed to see her consultant a.s.a.p. By the time I’d phoned the hospital and sorted everything out, it had gone right out of my head.’

  ‘It’s understandable. You can’t remember everything, Matt. You aren’t Superman.’

  ‘Oh, I’m well aware of that!’ He grimaced. ‘I thought it would be easier to manage as the girls got older but I still find myself having to juggle work and home, I’m afraid.’

  ‘It’s usually the case. That’s why I decided a long time ago that I would never have a family.’ The admission slid out before she could stop it, and she saw him frown.

  ‘That sounds a very drastic decision to have made, Catherine. Are you sure you won’t c
ome to regret it?’

  ‘No. I know what I want from life and children simply don’t feature on my list of priorities.’

  She swiftly changed the subject because she really didn’t want to discuss her decision when she was feeling so ambivalent. Something warned her that Matt could be extremely persuasive if he set his mind to it and she knew it would be a mistake to let him talk her round and maybe come to regret it. ‘I’d better go and see what Hannah is up to. Do you want me to find something else for her tea or would you rather not to risk letting me loose in your kitchen again?’

  ‘Oh, I think I can trust you, Catherine. I doubt if you will cause too much damage—to my house at least.’

  She wasn’t sure what he had meant by that rather cryptic remark and before she could ask him to explain, Sharon poked her head round the door.

  ‘Mrs Tate wants to know if she should wait, Dr Fielding. She needs to collect her little boy from the child-minder’s house in half an hour.’

  ‘Tell her I’ll be straight there, will you, Sharon?’ He turned to Catherine as the receptionist hurried away. ‘I’d better get back. Becky should be home soon so she can look after Hannah then.’

  ‘I’ll hang on until she gets here,’ she assured him.

  ‘Thanks. Oh, you’d better have this.’ He grinned as he handed her the burnt tray. ‘I think the bin is the best place for it, don’t you?’

  Catherine went inside as he hurried back to his patients. The smoke had cleared now and she was relieved to see that there had been no real damage caused to the kitchen. She deposited the ruined tray in the waste bin then set about making something for Hannah to eat, opting for sandwiches rather than chancing her luck with the stove a second time. Becky arrived just as she had finished buttering the bread and looked surprised to see her.

  Catherine explained why she was there, wryly confessing about her mishap with the oven to the girl’s amusement. She finished making the sandwiches then left Becky in charge and went through to the surgery and discovered that her first patient had already arrived. She told Sharon to give her a couple of minutes and went to get ready.