The Iron Butterfly

by Chanda Hahn

  “Thalia, you must be tired and we have much to discuss. Forrest will take you to the kitchens and show you to a guest room. Tomorrow morning we will meet again to decide what we will do with you.” Lorna spoke softly and then turned her back to me.

  That’s it. I was dismissed. But she was right, my stomach was growling and I suddenly felt very exhausted. I let Forrest lead me down the halls as I stared at his back. Forrest was an elderly servant with a noble demeanor. He never spoke as he led me to the kitchen and patiently waited while I grabbed a handful of stuffed pastries, fruit and bread, items that would keep and be easy to eat later. Taking a bite out of an apple, I followed Forrest to a small guest room. I didn’t feel like eating in the kitchen or dining room and have to answer any more questions. The guest room would do.

  It was small cozy, with a single window that overlooked the garden in the back of the keep. The bed was very soft, too soft, and once again I found myself unable to sleep. Grabbing a blanket I curled up on the hard floor and prayed that I wouldn’t dream tonight.

  Chapter 5

  “It’s been decided,” Lorna spoke on behalf of all of the Adepts except for Cirrus, who was still absent. “Until we have more information about the Septori and their leader, that it would be best if you stayed here within the Citadel.”

  I let out a puff of air I didn’t know I was holding. We were once again meeting in the same room as yesterday and from the looks of it, it seems that the Adepts got as much sleep as I did, which was slim to none.

  Lorna studied me thoughtfully before continuing. “Since you are not Denai it would be useless to enroll you in our program. Also, it is too dangerous to send you out into the city without protection and no way to make a living, so we agreed that it is in your best interest if you become our ward. Queen Lilyana has agreed as well and is personally looking into this herself.”

  I could see out of the corner of my eyes a few of the Adepts nodding their head in agreement with Lorna.

  My heart fluttered apprehensively in my chest. It sounded too good to be true, and I found myself second guessing their decisions and looking for an ulterior motive. No one was this kind without wanting something in return, there were no such things as handouts. Maybe I was just blinded by the cruelty of the Septori and was waiting for an ambush in the darkness that likely would never come. The only reason I could see for letting me stay in the Citadel was that they wanted to keep me close, and rightfully so, they didn’t trust me and I didn’t trust them. When I thought about their request, I realized I was exchanging one prison for another. Although this cell was much bigger, with a ready supply of food and a softer bed, it was still a prison. I was up most of the night dreading that I would be turned loose on the street with no way to support myself. And, not remembering if I have family, I wouldn’t know where to turn. I had pondered different ways of trying to survive. Just the thought of living on the streets made me shiver. And I did.

  “For how long,” I asked hesitantly, “would I be allowed to stay? How long would I be a ward of the Citadel?” When they said I was to become a ward that could have any number of implications. It could mean the Adepts would have total control in what I do until I reached adulthood, or until they decided the Septori was no longer a threat to me. I needed to hear that there was a way out, a backdoor to this prison that I could escape through without fear of being tracked down by their guards.

  It was Adept Kambel who leaned forward and spoke quietly and reassuringly. “For as long as you want or until your family is found.” A small smile escaped the corner of his mouth and I could see that he at least was pleased with the announcement. My eyes darted and I could see Adept Breah staring daggers at the tapestry behind me, refusing to speak or make eye contact with anyone, her anger evident in her flushed cheeks. I looked at the tapestry and couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary beyond the depiction of a hunter on a horse bringing down an elk.

  “The Queen is concerned and is sending a detail of men to search for the Septori and also to try and locate your family. We will do the best we can to find them,” Lorna finished, interrupting my thoughts.

  Breah snorted, either in anger or disgust. She looked tired, her hair was slightly unkempt and she wore the same dress as yesterday; evidence that they talked through the night.

  “What would I do here at the Citadel?” I asked. Feeling a sense of unease come over me, I wasn’t used to being idle. I couldn’t stand to be cooped up any longer without anything to do. Also I had learned that nothing in life was free and to never trust the gift horse, period.

  “Do you have any particular talents or skill set?” Pax asked.

  “I.. uh. I’m not sure?” I was becoming flustered and angry at the same time. “I would like to stay active though.”

  Lorna pondered a moment before clapping her hand against her thigh in decisiveness. “Well then, we shall give you to Tearsa as a helper. She is in charge of the running of household duties at the Citadel and will find work for you to keep you busy. She will also figure out a wage for you and get you situated in a room. If there are no further objections you can begin today. Forrest will take you to get your things.”

  I bobbed my head. Of course I didn’t have any objections, a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, meals and a wage. It was more than I could possibly ever hope for. But the most important part was that I would be safe within the Citadel's walls. I knew better than to expect a cushy lifestyle here at the Citadel. Just because they were taking me under wing and I wasn’t taking classes, didn’t mean I would have it easy and get to lounge around all day. I would still be expected to pitch in.

  Forrest was waiting outside the meeting room for me. Without speaking a word he led me back to the guest room to get my belongings. I fumbled nervously with the door knob because other than the clothes I was wearing and the container of balm I had in my pocket that I got from Mara, I had no other belongings. Pausing I turned around toward him and said, “I'm ready.”

  A slight blush ran up the back of his neck as he realized his mistake and he dropped his eyes to the floor as if in apology. He quickly led me down several back hallways and into the main dining room where a stout lady in a muted topaz dress with a white apron was meeting with the Citadel’s staff. I presumed that this must be Tearsa. Her hair, a dull red fading toward grey, was pulled into a severe knot at the base of her neck. I waited patiently with Forrest until she was done.

  “I will not tolerate laziness again or your day pass privileges will be revoked. We have a lot to do before training resumes tomorrow. The whole place must be thoroughly cleaned and aired, linens washed, silverware polished.” She slowly turned her hard gaze over everyone, making a few of the younger staff squirm in their seats. When they had enough she dismissed them, tucking her list into her pockets.

  Turning to Forrest and addressing him, she asked, “So this is the one?”

  He nodded.

  “What am I supposed to do with her?” she appealed in exasperation.

  He shrugged his shoulders and walked off, truly a tribute to his name, silent like the forest.

  Tearsa let out a frustrated sigh and looked me over head to toe. Her eyes were sharp and a little too close together and sat above a small pug nose. “You won’t last a week here, in your condition. You hardly look strong enough to haul a bucket of water. Oh well, I have my orders and you better not embarrass me. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, I understand.”

  “What's your name?”

  “Thalia.”

  “Well, Thalia, go get your things. I will show you to your new quarters.”

  Heat rose to my cheeks in embarrassment as once again, within the span of a few minutes, I was reminded of how destitute I was. Following behind Tearsa I quickly spoke up, “I have everything I need.”

  She stopped walking and gave me a searching look as if trying to discern my true reasons for being dumped on her. Her gaze seemed to measure me and for a split second I saw a hint of her eyes softening
before disappearing behind a sterner work face. “Doesn’t matter, come along then.”

  She walked down another hallway until we came down to a corridor of rooms that were behind the kitchen. I could tell that we were close to the kitchen because I could feel the heat from the ovens and smell the fresh baked bread.

  “In here.”

  She opened a door to a small room a little bigger than my previous cell. It contained two simple trundle beds one with bedding and the other an empty mattress, a closet and nightstand and, glory to be, two windows. The thought of being in this small room would terrify me if it wasn’t for the windows. The room was bare compared to the guest room I had the night before. But I was happy that I would earn a wage and be able to add personal touches to the room later.

  “You will share this room with Avina. There may be times when we will hire on extra help and we use the spare trundle beds so your room occupancy will double over night. But that won't be for a few weeks. So for now you two will share one. Go find Berry. She’s our head seamstress and will set you up with a set of clothes and bedding. And then meet me in the kitchen for your first shift.”

  I turned around to ask Tearsa where I could find the head seamstress, but she was gone as quickly as she had come, off to her next task. Biting my lip, I began to curiously walk up and down every corridor looking for the head seamstress. I tried to peek into open rooms and take into account my surroundings. I did notice that servant’s uniforms consisted of muted blues, grey and white. Simple styles, with little decoration and very gender neutral in appearance. This was my first time being able to look around the Citadel unescorted so I kept stopping whenever an interesting painting or sculpture caught my eye. Totally enraptured with my surroundings I turned a corner and walked right into an argument between two women.

  “You can’t possible consider this to be my dress, it’s awful. You must redo my dress over.” This was said by a tall blonde girl, with dark brown eyes and soft feminine features, which seemed out of place with her nasty tone.

  The recipient of her tongue-lashing was whom I could only assume to be Berry. The Citadel's head seamstress was a petite woman with uncontrollable brown curls, which were held at bay by a single red ribbon. A smattering of dark freckles framed her pert nose and slim mouth. Hands on her hips, she didn't back down from the blonde.

  “Syrani, we are on a strict budget and time table. If you want a dress made with different fabric than what the Citadel keeps in stock, then you must bring us the bolts of fabrics yourself,” she replied.

  “That’s preposterous. You are the Citadel’s seamstresses. What else are you here for if not to create dresses for me? Besides my father has strict orders that I must be kept happy, which I’m not.”

  “Syrani, we are employed by the Citadel and therefore have hundreds of people to clothe and thousands of garments to mend and alter. You should be grateful that they found time to finish your dress. If you are unhappy with it, then I will have them alter the dress again as soon as you pay for the first one.”

  “Don’t speak another word. There is no way in heaven that I will be subjected to pay for that piece of trash dress. It feels like burlap and they were sloppy in their work. What can you expect from lowly peasants? They messed up plain and simple.”

  Now I could see that Berry was getting angry at the insult to her helpers. “All of our clothes are made from the same material. Those women you are insulting are very talented ladies and I know for a fact that their work is impeccable.” Berry challenged. “Their station in life does not by any means make them less important than you.”

  “Not one of them has my bloodline and they will never be equal to me.” Syrani yelled, her nostrils expanded in anger and her eyes darkened.

  My mind scrambled for a solution to resolve the problem, but before I could intervene Syrani stormed away and ran right into me.

  “Watch where you’re going!” Syrani snarled at me.

  “NO! YOU watch where you’re going!” I caught her off guard and she stepped back in confusion. I couldn’t help it, after hearing her berate the seamstress I took it one step further. “Really? A bad dress, maybe you should have had your Father’s household seamstress outfit you before coming here instead of taking advantage of good people. Or does he not know of your extra orders?” I let the smugness show on my face, which made her fume.

  “What do you know? You’re so skinny you look like a drowned rat and the only things that a rat attracts are dogs and disease.” And with that she smiled triumphantly and left.

  “Ugh, what a horrible girl,” Berry spoke as she came to stand next to me, eyeing Syrani’s retreating figure warily.

  “Please tell me that not all of the Denai students here are like that?” I sighed, motioning with my head down the hall toward Syrani.

  “Oh no, they are great for the most part. You will find that most of the Denai are easy to get along with. There are only a handful that are as difficult as Syrani. She thinks she’s superior because her family has a long line of powerful Denai. She is actually Adept Cirrus’s niece so she tends to try and throw her weight around before she is even an Adept herself. Who knows, she may well one day become one and then we are all in trouble.” She paused and seemed to really notice me for the first time.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Berry, I’m the head seamstress.” She held out her hand to me.

  “Thalia,” I shook her hand knowing that I liked her immediately.

  “What can I do for you, Thalia? I think I owe you one for insulting Syrani. You did what I would never dare for fear of being fired on the spot,” Berry grinned.

  The euphoric feeling of telling off an obvious bully disappeared with her statement. I hadn’t realized that my intervention may have consequences of their own. What if the Adepts heard and chose to release me from their protection or threw me out into the streets? Suddenly I felt a little sick and flustered. “Uh, I actually need a few items. I’m to start work here, Tearsa sent me for bedding and a uniform.” I felt as if my face was turning green.

  “Oh!” Berry’s smile dropped slightly when she realized the same thing I did, but she recovered faster than me and her smile widened again. “You are going to work with us here? How very lucky you are. I know families that have been trying for years to get a job here. Tearsa is very particular about who gets hired on. You must know someone important or have great references.” Knowing the circumstances by which I was given the job, I decided to make a noncommittal noise instead.

  Berry opened the door she was standing in front of and entered. I immediately noticed the wooden sign depicting a needle and thread hanging above the door to her workrooms.

  The room consisted of table upon table of workspace and at each table sat two or three young ladies in different stages of sewing projects. Along the wall were shelves with a wide selection of bolts of fabrics, from colored silks from far countries, to homespun fabrics, linens and furs. Various baskets held buttons, ribbons and lace. The room was well lit from various skylights in the ceiling and numerous sconces lined the walls to keep it well lit into the night.

  Berry entered a back room and came back with a basket full of various cloth items. “Here you go. You have bedding, sleep clothes, underclothes and uniforms, but we will have to get those adjusted after you put on some weight.” A slight blush rose to her cheeks. “I can tell you haven’t had it the easiest, but believe me, after a couple of weeks of the Citadel's food, you will fill out alright.” She began to giggle and covered her mouth with her hand.

  Berry pointed me toward my room and made me promise to come back and visit her. But even with directions I was still lost until I spotted Forrest and asked him if he knew were Avina’s room was. He nodded his head and took me there without a word.

  “Thank you so much, Forrest!” I squeezed his arm in thanks and I saw a blush come to his withered cheeks reminding myself to not overlook the silent servant.

  Taking the bedding and setting it on the bed I went to the cl
oset and started to hang up the night clothes, when I noticed the other items that Berry had slipped into my basket. There were some ribbons, a small hair comb and a bar of sweat smelling soap. Bless her! I made a promise to myself to buy her a present in town when I got my first wages, but first I had to get to the kitchen. I quickly changed into my uniform. It was a sturdy, simple blue skirt, white chemise and gray bodice. She had included an apron as well. I donned the uniform with the same boy boots I had before and hoped my skirts would cover the fact that they were still a little big.

  Fully dressed, I hurried in the direction of the kitchen. After a few wrong turns, I found the back entry and was immediately put to work doing dishes. I was awkward at first and didn't work fast enough. When it came time to serve the students I spent the whole time hiding in the kitchen and ate lunch with the rest of the servants at a long worn wooden table.

  One of the cooks named Donn introduced me to the rest of the kitchen staff and I got to meet Avina, a short girl who looked about fourteen with red braids and freckles. I smiled at her and watched her grin back at me in delight. After how bad my luck has been lately I figured it was a Godsend that I got someone young who was happy to have a roommate instead of someone like Syrani.

  Dinner followed the same routine, working in the kitchen preparing food, or stoking the ovens. Tearsa handed me a peeling knife and I was put to work peeling potatoes for the soup. My punishment, I believe, for being really slow on the dishes. Before long the heat of the kitchen got to me and I was covered in sweat, soap and soup, when I heard the students begin to enter the dining hall for dinner. I ached to catch a glimpse of Joss but at the same time I was embarrassed.

  Joss was the one constant in my vastly changing world, but the way I treated him the other day would guarantee a change in our friendship, if we even had one anymore. But the thought that we were both still at the Citadel gave me the hope to go on and try and make a new future here for myself.