Arizona Pastor

by Jennifer Collins Johnson

  She looked back at her sister. Carrie had already finished wrapping five plants in purple cellophane tied with hot pink bows. “I can’t believe you’ve done those so fast.”

  “It’s really not that hard, sis.”

  She scrunched up her face and mocked her sister. “I’ve made it this long without making crafts, I suppose I’ll make it a little longer.”

  “You just keep holding my little monster.”

  “Is he still not sleeping well?”

  “Six weeks old and still wakes up every few hours at night.”

  Kristy grazed her finger across his soft forehead. “He’s a little guy. He’ll get there.”

  “I hope so. I’m exhausted, and I’m worried he’ll keep Mom and Dad awake when they get here next week.”

  “Are you kidding? You’re probably going to get two weeks of a full night’s sleep. They’ll probably scoop him up out of his crib before you have a chance to realize he’s peeped.”

  Carrie threw back her head. “Sounds wonderful.”

  Mel stepped onto the deck. “Mom, the bridal shop just called. My dress is ready.” She waved at Carrie. “Oh, hi, Aunt Carrie.” She chuckled. “Mom recruited you to do the party favors?”

  “Your mother is the baby whisperer. I am the craft...” She tilted her head and furrowed her brows.

  “Putter-togetherer,” said Kristy.

  Carrie clicked her tongue. “And to think you’re the English professor.”

  “I’m going to take a shower, but I wanna go pick up the dress tonight. You gotta go with me.”

  “Okay,” said Kristy. “Let me know when you’re ready.”

  Carrie continued to decorate the succulent plants. “No more scares, huh?”

  “No.” Kristy sighed. “Thank the Lord. She scared me to death that night. Eustace made a few snide innuendos at our meeting last week, though.”

  “What do you think is up with that? I mean, she’s always been a gossip, but she’s never been so mean about everything. She even got up and walked out during Becca’s solo at church.”

  Kristy looked out past her backyard at the setting sun. A thick yellow ring surrounded the almost-white sphere. An orange hue spread out away from the sun, as far as she could see. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I’ve been trying to pray for her.”

  “That whole ‘being kind to your enemies to heap lumps of coal on them’?”

  “No.” Kristy chuckled. “When did you get so vicious?”

  “I’m the baby of the family. I’ve always been mean.”

  “No. I genuinely want to pray for her peace.” Noah stirred and threw out his arm. She tucked it back close to her. He made small sucking faces and then drifted back to sleep. “It’s just hard to feel what I’m praying sometimes.”

  “Guess that’s why we can’t trust our hearts.”

  Mel opened the back door again. “Mom, I’m ready.”

  Carrie motioned to the playpen. “Lay him down, and I’ll finish up these wedding favors.”

  “You sure?”

  “What? You’re gonna finish them?”

  “If I didn’t have this baby in my arms, I’d flick you in the head.”

  “Then I’d have to pull out the big guns.” Carrie lifted her arms and kissed her biceps.

  Mel shook her head. “You two are crazy.”

  Once she’d laid down Noah, Kristy nudged Mel to the door. “Come on. We better hurry. I haven’t checked my email today to see what other things Leah has planned for me.”

  * * *

  Wade folded the corner of the purple napkin over the bottom of the knife, fork and spoon. Next, he folded one corner around the front to the back and then did the same for the other side. Taking a piece of thick pink ribbon with purple polka dots, he wrapped it around the center of the silverware and then tied a bow in the front.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Kristy whined. She raised her hands. “Listen. I can read you a book. Write you an article. I can rock a baby. Clean a house. But I cannot do this crafty stuff.”

  “I think you’re just psyching yourself out. You can do it.” He picked up another set of silverware, a napkin and a ribbon. “Do exactly what I do.”

  He followed the same steps, stopping to be sure she did everything he had done. After she tied a somewhat crooked bow in the front, she clapped. “I did it.”

  “I knew you could.”

  “Let me follow you again. Just to be sure.”

  They wrapped more sets of silverware, and Kristy continued to copy his every move. His feelings for her deepened each time he saw her, and his walk with the Lord had grown in ways he hadn’t expected. Though he was saved by grace, he hadn’t realized how thirsty he’d been for daily living water. He wanted more than just dating from Kristy, but he needed to be honest about his struggles first. “How is the wedding coming?”

  “Terrific. Leah and I have actually gotten along well lately. She has strengths I simply don’t have, and I’ve come to admire her for them.” She raised her eyebrows as she lifted a completed set of silverware. “The wedding’s going to be, by far, lovelier than anything I’d have come up with.”

  “Bigger than you expected?”

  “Now, that I would like to do without.”

  “When are your parents coming?”

  “Next week.” She cocked her head. “Why do I get the feeling there’s something you’re not saying?”

  “Actually, I do want to share something with you.” He wiped his hands against his khaki shorts.

  “You’re not married or have kids somewhere, do you?”

  “What?” He shook his head and blinked. “No. Why would you think that?”

  “That’s usually what happens on television.”

  He pursed his lips. “I want to tell you about my fiancée.”

  Kristy leaned back in her chair. A worried expression draped her features. “This is starting to sound a lot like what happens on television.”

  He furrowed his brows and wrinkled his nose. “When I was twenty, I was engaged to an amazing girl. Her name was Zella. She was beautiful and vibrant and excited to tell the whole world about Jesus. I was absolutely crazy about her.”

  Wade looked at Kristy. She’d crossed her arms. Her frown had shifted from worry to something he couldn’t identify. He raked his fingers through his hair. He was botching up the whole thing.

  “About a month before our wedding, we went for a drive and had a wreck.”

  Kristy sucked in her breath. He knew she understood where he was going now.

  “I hit another car, and she died.”

  He’d expected her to embrace him, to say she was sorry for what had happened. Instead, she chewed her bottom lip and stared at him. “Why are you telling me this?”

  He opened his arms. “Because I’ve been stuck there for two decades. Stuck in the guilt of her death. It wasn’t until I moved to Surprise, preached a sermon on forgiveness and Wilma opened my eyes to the very words I’d spoken. Because I’ve finally forgiven myself, I’m able to move forward.”

  “I’m really glad,” Kristy said, and this time she did lean forward and wrap her hand around his. “I’ve noticed a difference in you.”

  “Yes,” he agreed. “I’m on fire again. I’ve never been so excited to study God’s word, to learn and share more about His truths.” He paused and swallowed the knot in his throat. “And able to love again.”

  “What are you saying?”

  He moved his chair closer to hers and cupped her chin in his hands. “That I love you.”

  A slow smile spread across her lips as she whispered, “I love you, too.”

  He claimed her lips with his and relished the fire that burned in his heart and sent electricity down his veins at her touch. He released her, and she scratched the stubbles on his jaw with her fingertips. “For a preacher, you’re a pretty good kisser.”

  “Oh, you’ve kissed a lot of preachers, huh?”

  “Just one.”

  He placed a qui
ck kiss on her lips again, then forced himself to return to wrapping silverware. Everything in him wanted to make her his bride right away. Today would be fine with him. But he didn’t want to do anything to keep her from enjoying and focusing on Mel and Joel. But soon, he’d ask her to marry him.

  Chapter 19

  The Sunday-morning service had been awesome. They’d had several visitors, and Kristy had felt the Holy Spirit filling the church. Hiring Wade as the church’s pastor had been the best decision ever. She was glad he was here.

  After a leisurely lunch, they were returning for the committee meeting. He released her hand to open the church door for her.

  She was overwhelmed with all they still needed to do for the wedding, but she couldn’t believe how things had worked out. Leah had been a terrific wedding planner—and she had ample time and energy to devote to the nuptials. She’d thought of things Kristy would have never considered, and Kristy found herself starting to like Mel’s stepmother. On some levels anyway. She still got a little jealous when she saw Mel get excited about something Leah put together, but that was her human nature, not what God wanted from her as a Christian.

  “I really liked that new restaurant,” Wade said as he took her hand again while they walked down the hall.

  “Me, too.” She smiled up at him as contentment swelled within her. Life couldn’t get any more perfect. The summer had brought changes she would have never believed possible three months ago, but God had been faithful and consistent in every trial and challenge.

  Wade opened the door to the room where the committee met. Greg, Freddy and Eustace already sat around the table. Eustace seemed more upset than she had been even a week ago. Kristy had prayed for the older woman many times over the past seven days. She knew God would want her to love Eustace despite her actions. Uncomfortable as she felt, she sat beside Eustace and offered her a hesitant smile. The older woman’s response was to look away. Okay, God. Help me to love. Jesus was nailed to a cross for my sins, and yet You love me. I can love a woman who just doesn’t like me.

  Becca burst into the room and clapped her hands. “Today’s service was amazing!”

  “I couldn’t believe all the visitors,” Freddy boomed.

  “God’s presence was definitely with us,” added Wade.

  Greg tapped his finger against the table. “What’s fantastic is we haven’t taken away anyone’s preferred style of music.”

  Wade nodded. “We still have hymns.”

  “And the contemporary,” said Greg.

  Freddy chortled. “I’m even beginning to appreciate some of the contemporary.”

  Greg nudged Freddy, a friendship Kristy would have never thought possible. “And I’ve found a new appreciation for the hymns.”

  Wade leaned back in the chair. “I’m not sure the committee has a purpose anymore.” He looked at each of them. “Our job was to encourage unity.”

  Becca bounced in her seat. “And we’re unified.”

  “Are we, now?” The words spit from Eustace’s lips with a venom that curled Kristy’s toes. The older woman pressed both hands flat against the table and peered at each of them. “So we’re unified once we allow sin into our church?”

  “Now, Eustace,” said Freddy, “The music these kids like to listen to is not sinful. I’ve listened to it, and—”

  “I’m not talking about the music,” Eustace barked.

  Wade frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  Eustace pointed from him to Kristy, and Kristy’s insides twisted. “The two of you seem to be getting quite friendly.”

  Kristy’s face burned, and Wade opened his mouth to respond, but Greg piped up, “What’s wrong with that?”

  “She had a child out of wedlock.”

  The words slithered from Eustace’s lips, and Kristy looked at her accuser. The anger and disappointment she’d felt all those years ago when she’d found out she was pregnant with Mel washed over her. The woman on the talk show’s words floated through her mind. No matter what I do, I’ll always be a teenage-pregnancy statistic.

  Kristy needed to get up, to run away from the room and the humiliation, but her body remained frozen, glued to the chair.

  “I can’t believe you would say that.” Becca’s voice had risen to nearly a squeal.

  “Eustace.” Freddy’s deep voice sounded mournful and sorry. “You’ve known Kristy for so many years. You know she’s a woman of God who simply made a mistake. She’s repented of her sin.”

  Kristy stared at the table. She couldn’t look up. Couldn’t bear to see the expressions on their faces. She loved Wade, but there were consequences to choices. Her choice all those years ago would always be a burden to a minister, and she wouldn’t ask him to endure this ever again.

  “Why do you think her daughter is marrying so quickly?” Disdain slipped through Eustace’s teeth. “She’s followed in her mother’s footsteps. That’s why.”

  Wade, Greg, Freddy and Becca all responded at once. Their words jumbled in Kristy’s mind, and she forced her legs out of the chair and raced out of the room. Without a backward glance, she ran out of the church. Her fingers tore through her purse in a desperate search for her keys.

  Becca’s voice sounded behind her, but Kristy couldn’t make out the words. She didn’t want to anyway. She had to get out of there. Away from the accusations. Away from the memories.

  She was a fool to think Wade could love her or that she could be a match for a man like him. The man had pledged his life to the Lord’s work. He was a wonderful minister and a true man of God. His love for God and for people were like none she’d ever seen, which was probably why she’d fallen in love with him.

  Tears coursed down her cheeks as she hopped into her car and peeled out of the parking lot. He deserved so much more than someone like her. She brought burdens and sins she could never get past. Ministers’ wives should be women whose lives didn’t scream of their past transgressions. She knew everyone sinned, pastors’ wives included. But she didn’t know a single one who’d had a child out of wedlock. Or a pastor whose teenaged stepdaughter had had a baby at eighteen. He’d have to constantly explain how all of them were related. He deserved more than that.

  Afraid Mel would be home and see her in such a miserable state, she drove to the White Tank Mountains. She parked as far from other cars as she could and then stared at God’s majestic creation. Her mind was a blank, and she prayed the Holy Spirit translated her heart’s groaning to the Lord, as scripture said.

  She could never run away from the past, and yet she never wanted to. Mel, her greatest blessing, had come from her sin. Now Mel had gotten pregnant. But she was marrying a man she truly loved—and going to college, too. It would be challenging, but Mel was strong.

  Tears flowed faster down Kristy’s cheeks. She didn’t want her daughter to experience this guilt and condemnation. And yet soon enough, she would know some of what Kristy had experienced. No matter how many people understood or sympathized, she’d still know the guilt.

  * * *

  Greg had followed Becca out the door. Wade wanted to chase after them, to wrap Kristy in his arms and assure her that Eustace’s cruelty was wrong, but he had to address the older woman first. Her negativity had become toxic to the congregation.

  “Eustace,” Freddy chided. “What is the matter with you? Something’s not right. You’re not this hardened. You’re...”

  Eustace lifted her chin and crossed her arms. A flash of regret swept through her gaze before a defiant glare took over her face.

  Wade turned to Freddy. “Do you mind if I talk to Eustace for a minute? Just the two of us.”

  “Sure.” Freddy stood and patted Wade’s shoulder. “You’re doing a great job, Pastor.”

  Eustace raised her chin just a tad higher. Wade was surprised she hadn’t got up and walked away. Proof his gut feeling was right. He needed to talk with her.

  “What is it?” He tapped his chest. “In here.”

  “Not a thing,” she sp
at out as she shifted in the seat. “Just don’t think it’s right for my pastor to be traipsing all over town with a never-married woman who has a kid who’s having a baby out of wedlock.”

  She humphed and moved her shoulders side to side. “I’m sorry. She won’t be out of wedlock. My pastor’s going to marry the pregnant teen to her boyfriend.”

  Wade placed his elbows on the table, clasped his hands together and pressed his lips against his fists. He offered a silent prayer for God to guide his thoughts and words. “You’re upset about more than that. You’re angry.” He inspected her countenance, the bitterness that seemed to seep from every part of her body. “Guilty.”

  He hadn’t expected the word to slip out, but when it did, Eustace dipped her chin and slumped in the chair. She didn’t speak, and Wade didn’t pressure her. No questions. No comments. Something in him knew he needed to give her time. He’d wait for her to respond.

  Eustace placed both hands on the table. She folded her left hand over the right, then her right hand over the left. Over and over, she wrung her hands together. Finally, she whispered, “You’re right. I’m guilty.”

  “Whatever it is, God has forgiven you.”

  She peered up at him. “Really?” Sarcasm dripped from her words. “Is it that simple?”

  “Forgiveness is that simple.”

  Eustace huffed, and a mocking laugh sounded from deep within her. “Maybe for God. Definitely not for us.”

  Wade allowed silence to drape over them once again. He prayed God would show him what to say. A scripture from Colossians sprang into his mind, like a blinking hotel light offering weary travelers rest for the night. “‘Bear with each other and forgive one another,’” he began, “‘if any of you has a grievance against someone.’”

  “‘Forgive as the Lord forgave you.’” Eustace finished the verse. She furrowed her brows. “Do you think I don’t know my scriptures? The only reason I’ve survived these past fifty-five years is because of them.”