Acheron Highway: A Jonathan Shade Novel

by Gary Jonas

  “What’s the matter?” Brand said to Andy as he waved him around on the sword. “You stumped?”

  Andy looked like he was ready to cry. Miranda sat on the bleachers.

  “Time out,” I said.

  “This is inhumane,” Andy said.

  “Talk to me or I’ll let him keep you.”

  “Please don’t do that. I’ll tell you anything.”

  “See?” Brand said. “I am good for something.”

  Brand held Andy up so I could talk to him.

  “Do you want Miranda?” I asked.

  “Who’s Miranda?”

  I pointed at her. “The woman.”

  He shrugged what remained of his shoulders.

  “You said you wanted the woman.”

  “We’re after Charon, who is someone you know as Sharon, but that’s not her real name and she isn’t really a she. I mean, I suppose she is a she now, but she was a he for centuries.”

  “Charon is still in the Underworld. He ferries the souls across the Acheron.”

  “The replacement is there,” Andy said.

  Of course, I knew that. The replacement was a guy named Bob, but Bob didn’t sound nearly as impressive as Charon, and I wasn’t going to say Bob in front of Brand because I didn’t want to hear Brand say he’d give that name to Andy and toss him in a lake.

  “You folks realize I don’t know where Sharon is, right? I told that to Persephone herself.”

  “You’re a detective. You can find her. We’ll even pay you.”

  “I have a case right now.”

  “You’re going to help us whether you want to or not. If you refuse, we’ll have to kill you.”

  “Seemed like you were trying to kill me earlier.”

  “Just having some fun roughing you up.”

  “I see. What does Persephone really want with Sharon?”

  “I’m not at liberty to say.”

  “You want to be Brand’s permanent playmate?”

  His eyes went wide. “No! Until you mentioned Persephone, all I knew was that the order came from on high.”

  “Or down low since it’s the Underworld.”

  “As bad as that was, it’s still better than your friend here,” Andy said.

  “Who rules the Underworld? Hades?”

  “You’ve been there twice,” Andy said. “You know Hades doesn’t rule shit.”

  “I wasn’t there long enough to delve into the politics of the place.”

  Andy sighed. “Persephone rules the Underworld.”

  “I thought she was Hades’ prisoner and because she ate a pomegranate she had to spend six months a year down there and six months with her mother or something.”

  “I’m not really here to give you a history lesson, Shade, but let’s just say that Persephone wasn’t kidnapped. She pretty much seduced Hades and took over the Underworld. She can go where she wants when she wants for as long as she wants. That said, I’ve never even seen her, so for all I know, it’s all mythology.”

  “So Persephone didn’t give you the order?”

  “Not to me. A general gave us the order. He sent one guy, then several, and now quite a few, and soon he’ll send so many, your graveyards will be emptied.”

  “Why do they care about Charon so much?”

  “Nobody leaves the Underworld without permission.”

  “So Charon didn’t have a get-out-of-Hell-free card, and Persephone is pissed?” This told me Persephone wasn’t telling her people about her actual reasons, which made sense. She could use this to her advantage to keep others in line if they thought no one could ever leave the Underworld without facing consequences.

  “I don’t know who’s pissed or why they care so much. I just know we’re supposed to get you to take us to Charon. We know he’s using a female body here.”

  “I have no way to contact Sharon or Charon. After we left the Underworld, Sharon told me she would never see or talk to me again and that there was no way I could ever find her. She opened up a rift and stepped through, and that’s the last I’ve seen or heard of her. If I cut off your head, your spirit goes back to the Underworld, right?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Can you pass along that message for me? It’s a waste of time to come to me about this. I have no way to help you. Find another way.”

  “I can tell them, but that won’t save you.”

  “How do you figure?”

  “Time moves differently in the Underworld. Down there, you and Sharon left a few days ago. The Acheron has shifted, and spirits are riding it to your realm in larger and larger groups. By the time I get a message to the general and he passes it along to his superiors, many thousands of spirits will be here searching for you. To be honest, you’re not difficult to find.”

  “You’ll pass them along the way, so tell them to back off.”

  “I’m a soldier, not a commander.”

  “Fine. Just tell the general.”

  “I’ll do that, but you’ll still have thousands of spirits coming your way, using the dead to get around. And just so you know, the waves that are coming will kill you if you aren’t helping. If you want to survive, you should try to help.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” I said.

  “Do more than that.”

  I looked at Brand. “You can cut off his head now.”

  Brand grinned. “I’d rather play with him some more.”

  “Plenty more where he came from.”

  Brand shrugged. “Good point.”

  He placed Andy on the floor and pulled the sword free.

  Brand smiled. “Say good-bye, Matt.”

  Andy rolled his eyes as Brand swung the blade downward. Andy’s head rolled.

  Kelly walked over and looked at the sword stuck in one of the padded mats on the floor. “Brand?” she said.

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re buying me a new mat.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Like Kelly’s old dojo, the new one had an apartment above it, but she used it only for storage because it was too small for two people. For her residence, she bought a condo over in Lakewood, which was where she and Brand lived. As my car wasn’t fit for driving at the moment, we all piled into Kelly’s SUV and pulled out into traffic heading west.

  I sat in the back with Miranda.

  “We can drop you off at your place,” I said.

  “I don’t feel safe there.”

  “Why not?”

  “All those zombie things are out there.”

  “They were looking for me,” I said.

  “So they won’t be after me to get to you?”

  “Nope.”

  “Does that mean Zach didn’t raise the dead people?”

  “It seems to me that someone else did the Lazarus-come-forth routine here.”

  “Why couldn’t Lazarus come third?” Brand asked.

  We ignored him.

  “So Greek mythology is real? Hades and Persephone and such?” Miranda asked.

  “Let’s just say that not all of it is fiction, though it rarely turns out to be the way Edith Hamilton said.”

  “And you know Charon?”

  “Near as I can tell, Charon is an office or a rank, but yes, I’ve met two of them.”

  “My head is spinning. Dead people rising, gods and goddesses, magic, psychic spies. Next thing you know, you’ll tell me pizza was given to us by aliens from Mars.”

  “Different galaxy,” I said.

  She looked at me.

  “Kidding,” I said. “Though I am a bit hungry.”

  “It’s late,” Kelly said. “You can have an apple at my place.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  Miranda looked uncomfortable.

  I patted her knee. “Things will get better.”

  “There are too many ifs that go with that statement,” she said. “They’ll get better if my heart is still beating and if we can get it back and if it can be returned to my chest and if we aren’t overrun by dead people.”
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  “What’s your gut feeling on your heart?”

  “It was still beating when he took it.”

  I nodded. “We’ll go with that, then. I know a healer who can put it back for you. She’s very good.”

  “What about the dead people?”

  “Not entirely your problem. Again, they aren’t after you. If we can keep you clear of them, we should be able to keep you safe. And who knows, maybe Zach can help with putting the dead folks back into their graves.”

  “He’d have to be damn powerful,” Brand said.

  Again, we ignored him. “Don’t worry,” I told Miranda. “I won’t let you down. I promise.”

  I meant it, but I wasn’t sure how I could deliver. I had not been able to save Naomi, so how the hell was I supposed to save Miranda? I felt lost and while I wanted to help her, I felt as if I were trying to do so from a continent away.

  “I trust you,” she said. “But I don’t want to go home. I feel safer with you.”

  “We could have been killed tonight.”

  “But we weren’t. You were so calm. So brave.”

  Brand, who kept watching us, rolled his eyes.

  I didn’t want them to know that it wasn’t bravery. I just didn’t care. If I died, no big. If I lived, oh well. Of course, that doesn’t strike confidence into the heart of a client. Then again, my client didn’t have a heart, so maybe it didn’t matter.

  “I’m crashing at Kelly’s tonight,” I said.

  Kelly glanced at us in the rearview mirror. “You’re both welcome to stay at my place tonight,” she said.

  “Thank you,” Miranda said.

  I stared out the window, watching the streets of Denver roll past. All those people living their lives, oblivious to what was going on around them. How many of them knew dead people were rising? How many of them knew there was real magic? How many of them could even imagine a beautiful woman walking around without a heart?

  I pulled out my cell, scrolled through recent calls, and placed one to Walter.

  “Do you have any idea what time it is?” he said.

  “No hello?”

  “It’s after midnight.”

  “So you should let it all hang down.”

  “What do you want, Shade?”

  “We didn’t set a time for tomorrow.”

  I heard a loud crash in the background.

  “Shit.”

  “Is everything OK?” I asked, thinking dead people might be breaking into his house.

  “My damn grandson just got home and he’s drunk off his ass as always. Hang on.” The next bit was muffled, so I’m guessing Walter put his hand over the phone. “I hope you weren’t driving, you ignorant little bastard!”

  I didn’t hear Ryan’s reply.

  “What did you say to me?” Walter shouted. I heard a ruffle as he moved his hand. Then I heard a thump and footsteps. The next thirty seconds were all raised voices arguing, but I couldn’t make out the words.

  Walter came back to the phone out of breath. His tone was even more gruff. “Goddamn kids these days. Do me a favor and shoot Ryan when you come by tomorrow.”

  “I try not to shoot people,” I said.

  “Then what good are you? Be here at three.” He hung up.

  Brand looked over the seat at me. “Maybe you should aim better.”

  “What?”

  “Never mind.” He faced forward then turned to Kelly. “Why do you keep this clown around, anyway?”

  “Because it irritates you,” Kelly said.

  It’s nice to be useful.

  #

  Kelly’s place had an extra bedroom, which she never used. We got Miranda set up in there; then I joined Kelly and Brand in the living room. Kelly had a blanket folded at the end of the couch with a pillow on top.

  “You’re good to go,” she said.

  “Thanks.”

  “You OK?”

  Brand rolled his eyes. “Do we have to let him talk about his feelings and shit? I’m ready for some bedroom Olympics.”

  Kelly punched him in the arm and knocked him sideways several steps. He grinned.

  “Go to bed, Brand. I’ll be there soon.”

  “Whatever.” Brand looked at me. “Don’t—” He stopped when Kelly shot him a look. He laughed. “Don’t forget that you’re buying breakfast tomorrow.”

  “Nice save,” Kelly said. “Go.”

  When he left the room, Kelly sat on the sofa and I sat down beside her.

  “So,” she said. “How are you doing?”

  “Brand is right. We don’t need to do the sharing thing.”

  Esther popped into the room. “Is this a private party?”

  “Hey, Esther,” Kelly said. “Anything to report?”

  “And how” she said. She looked over at me for a moment then turned her attention back to Kelly. “You were right about those ragamuffin palookas. They’re definitely camping out at Jonathan’s place. Must be a hundred of them!”

  “What are they doing?”

  “Just waiting.” Esther looked at me. “Kelly said I should keep an eye on your place in case those dead hoods try to break in, but they’re just gathering there. I got bored.”

  “Good call,” I said.

  Brand walked back into the room. “You guys talking to the ghost lady again?”

  “You can join in if you like,” Kelly said. “There’s a typewriter key in the desk drawer.”

  Normal people can’t see Esther, but as Brand and Kelly are both magically engineered, if they touch part of Esther’s old typewriter, they can see and hear her.

  Esther frowned. “I don’t want to talk to that ignorant torpedo. He’s—”

  Brand opened the drawer and grabbed the key.

  “—a nasty old pill, and I’d punch him right in the kisser if I had the chance.”

  “You talking about me?” Brand asked. “Because I’d kiss you any day if I wasn’t with Kelly.”

  “Bank’s permanently closed for you, buster.” With that, Esther popped away.

  “Was it something I said?”

  “Usually,” Kelly said. She faced me. “Want us to go over and slice and dice the dead guys for you?”

  “Not yet,” I said. “If numbnuts hadn’t chased Esther off, I could find out if the neighbors are seeing the dead folks or if they’re keeping hidden.”

  “Does it matter?”

  “A little,” I said. “If the dead folks are staying hidden, which seems unlikely if there are a hundred of them, we could just slice them up and rebury them. If they’re out in the open, we can’t just hack them apart.”

  “Why not?” Brand asked.

  “Because people will see us.”

  “So? What are they gonna do?”

  “Call the police.”

  “So? What will the cops do?”

  “Make my life hell.”

  “And that’s different from normal how?”

  “I don’t need the attention. That’s all. If mundanes are seeing the corpses walking around, it will end up on the news, and that can cause a panic. Do you have a magic marker and some paper?”

  “Desk drawer again.”

  I went to the desk, pulled out a sheet of paper, and wrote out a sign. “Can one of you head over to my place and tack this to the building someplace where people will see it?”

  Kelly took the sheet, looked at it, and chuckled. “I can do that. You owe me for gas.”

  “Put it on my tab.”

  “What’s it say?” Brand asked.

  She showed it to him.

  Brand nodded. “That ought to work for most of the day.”

  The sign read, Zombie movie audition, Unit 212, 1:00 pm. Please arrive in costume.”

  Of course, I still had to figure out a way to get rid of a hundred or so dead people before the neighbors complained. It’s a glamorous life, but someone has to live it.

  CHAPTER TEN

  I parked Kelly’s SUV at the curb in front of Starbucks. Miranda sat beside me but wasn’t
talking. We’d been cranking out the tunes on the ride over. My favorite blues singer, Howlin’ Roy Porter, was singing “Requiem for Jim,” which I absolutely loved. I waited for the song to end then ejected the CD and shut off the engine. DGI stood across the street. I’d dropped Kelly and Brand off at the dojo and promised Kelly not to put a single scratch on her vehicle.

  Miranda took a deep breath. “I haven’t been back to work since…”

  “It’s all right,” I said. “Zach isn’t here.”

  She nodded. “I keep telling myself that. It feels so weird to not feel my heart thundering at a time like this. I wonder if it’s beating faster wherever it is.”

  “That makes for an odd image. You ready to do this?”

  “I’ve never been to any of the other floors. Just my section’s suite.”

  “Well, you’re in for a treat.”

  She laughed. “You’re a poet and you don’t know it.”

  “But my feet show it ’cause they’re Longfellows. Can we go now?”

  We exited the truck and as we started across the street. I set the alarm and tucked Kelly’s keys into my pocket.

  When we entered the DGI building, I saw Phil at his guard station. His eyes grew wide when he saw me, and he shook his head.

  “Oh, no,” he said. “You don’t have an appointment, Mr. Shade.”

  “It’s all right, Phil. I’m with Miranda.”

  “Ms. Hammond,” Phil said with a nod as he came around the station to block our path. “I’m sorry, but you’re still on medical leave.”

  “I—” she said.

  But I interrupted. “Back down, Phil. You know how this plays.”

  “Ms. Chan isn’t with you. I pressed the security button already. You aren’t welcome here.”

  “Did they give you a raise?”

  “No.”

  “Then they’re not paying you enough to stand in my way.”

  “I’m not the one who’s going to be in your way.” He gave a hitchhiker’s thumb over his shoulder. “They are.”

  Five men wearing shades and black leather trench coats formed a line behind Phil. I didn’t have to test their skills to know they were Sekutar warriors. DGI had a program to magically engineer assassins. Kelly was the only surviving warrior from the first generation. Brand was the only surviving member of round two. That meant the five guys behind Phil were from round three of the supposedly defunct program.