Celtic Spirit (Celtic Storm Series Book 4)

by Ria Cantrell

  Derek heard her words and it took a minute for them to register.

  “What are you saying?”

  “I think I may be pregnant. Are you mad?”

  “Mad?”

  “Angry…are you angry with me?”

  “Angry? Why would I be angry? Ye’ are with child…my child. Ye’ are restoring me not only as a man, but with a family of my own.”

  “Well, I don’t know for sure, yet. I will need to do a test…but all the signs are pointing toward it.”

  “They have tests to predict--”

  “The test is made to prove if a woman is pregnant. I had not given it much thought. I guess I didn’t think it would be possible with a man… well with someone who was from…”

  “Ye’ mean with a phantom,” Derek said with a laugh.

  “Well, since you said it…yeah. I mean I guess I had gotten used to your other manifestation…that it didn’t dawn on me that I would get pregnant.”

  “Lass, I made love to ye’ many times now. I made love to ye’ not as a phantom…but as a man. It was bound to happen.”

  “Yes, I suppose it was. I guess it is a good thing you are making an honest woman of me.”

  Derek heard her giggle and he kissed her while the laughter was still sweet on her lips.

  A bairn…imagine that.

  All that had been lost to him was being restored. A beautiful woman who had become his mate and a bairn of his own flesh…growing within her. He scooped her up into his arms and carried her over to their bed. He was going to make love to this woman and if there was a doubt that she was with child, he was going to see that she definitely would be when their night was over.

  As he lay beside her and kissed her, Kiera felt like everything was going to be alright. She worried how he would take the news, but she should have known that he would have been thrilled. She would buy a test tomorrow and confirm what she already knew in her heart to be true. For now, though, she was all his and she would enjoy the love he would shower upon her; body, mind and spirit.

  ****

  When Kiera woke, the light from the dawning sun was filtering into the bedroom. She slipped out of bed and thought to put another log in the fire place. The room had gone a little chilly. She wanted to let Derek sleep a little longer and she would enjoy a quiet cup of tea in the early morning. She stretched and sighed. She felt so good. Every inch of her body had been caressed by that beautiful man in her bed. So far, if she was pregnant, she felt quite well. Slipping into a robe, Kiera grabbed a log and put it on the smoldering embers that glowed red in the hearth. She loved the fire, for now it had become a reminder of the care that Derek had always taken with her, even from the start. She thought, she would never be able to have a fire not remind her of that simple act of love to see to her comforts. Taking the poker in her hand, she stirred up the glowing coals, causing sparks to sizzle and crackle as the new log caught fire. Pulling herself up by grasping the mantle, a good chunk of the decaying wood once again came away. When it did, something fell out of the moldering void with a clank onto the wood of the floor. Kiera bent to examine the offending item and saw that it was an arrow tip that had fallen at her feet. She bent to pick it up. Something drew her to want to see the thing that had caused the mantle to disintegrate.

  Upon feeling the ancient particle of the deadly barb in her hand, Kiera was instantly filled with revulsion and disgust. As she held it in her palm, she had a vision of a young woman pinned in death to a tree. Kiera felt nausea welling up inside of her and as she ran to the bathroom. The arrow tip dropped from her hands and landed back on the hard wood floor with a thud.

  At the sound, Derek woke with a start and heard Kiera in the bathroom. She was retching. He was on his feet in an instant and he came behind her to help her. She was kneeling before the toilet and heaving violently. He tried to comfort her, but she did not want him to touch her.

  She knew! Suddenly, the image from Derek’s past became clear like a scene played on a movie screen. That girl in her vision was the girl who he had killed, albeit by accident. The gruesome scene was etched in her mind and was as vivid as if someone had taken a picture of it and put it on Facebook. As Kiera wiped her mouth and stood up, she shook off his hand and avoided his eyes. He thought she was just embarrassed from being sick and so he let her have her moment of privacy to clean herself up. But when Derek walked back into the room and saw the arrowhead on the floor near the fire, he knew that the revulsion of his touch was not because she had vomited. No, it was because Kiera knew somehow what had happened that terrible day so far in the past. She knew of the most heinous of deeds from his past. He cupped the arrowhead in his big hands and he felt the scene of that day replay in his mind. It had been so long ago, but it suddenly felt as if it had only just happened. He almost could feel the warmth of the lass’ blood upon the tip of that cursed point. He could see her tears as she shuddered in the throes of death.

  He should have known that this one act could never be forgiven. Not even by one like Kiera. He saw it; the disgust in her eyes. Derek knew that he could never live it down. He knew that he would never be able to make amends for that sin and that the mark against his soul would stand forever, sure as the arrow pierced the lass so long ago.

  “Kiera…please talk to me. I know ye’ are upset…but I am no’ the man who shot this arrow so many centuries ago.”

  “Please don’t say anything right now. I need some time to process it.”

  “I already told ye’ what happened that day. I wish I could have turned back time and not shot that arrow, but I canna’ undo what is done.”

  Not meeting his eyes, because it was too hard to look at him, seeing what she had seen when she picked up the arrowhead, she said, “When I touched that…that…hideous thing, I saw her. I saw her as she died, stuck to the tree…Oh my God, I am going to be sick again.”

  So much for feeling well, Kiera thought as she purged her stomach again. As she vomited, she felt as if her world was once again crumbling down. She had deluded herself into thinking that this relationship could overcome the things of the past. She was not sure it could, now that she had seen that horrible vision. Oh, how she wished she hadn’t picked up that freaking arrow. She should have known something terrible was going to happen when she did because every time she touched that growing void in the mantle, she felt an unfounded sense of foreboding revulsion. Now, she felt that same revulsion for the man she had promised to marry. How could she marry someone who had done this to another human being? It was just too much for her to reconcile at the moment. She had spoken to him of forgiveness last night but now, she almost felt she could not put this one long hidden deed aside.

  They were two different people from two different worlds with very different values. It could never be reconciled, no matter how she had tricked herself into believing that it could. She needed to get away from him for the moment. She could not look at him and want him knowing what she knew now. The problem was that Kiera would always want and love him, but she could not allow herself to go forward with these plans. Not now. She needed time and she needed to get away. The sooner the better. She blotted out the sound of Morag’s voice that had scolded her and accused her of running away from her problems. If the old woman was there, she would have told her to shut the hell up and stop meddling in her life.

  After cleaning herself up, Kiera threw on her clothes. Derek stood before her with a look of defiance in his eyes. “Where are ye’ going?”

  “I need to get some fresh air. Please don’t follow me. I need to think.”

  “So that’s it then. Ye’ dunna’ love me enough to let the past lie in its grave.”

  “That girl lies in her grave…because of you.”

  “I told ye’ about her. I ne’er meant her harm.”

  “But you meant to harm someone. If it wasn’t her, you meant to kill someone that day.”

  “It was war, lass. We were at war with the MacCollums.”

  He was sorry he said it the
moment it left his lips.

  “I am a MacCollum. You always say that I am.”

  “But I love ye’, lass. It matters no more what clan ye’ are from. Please dunna’ do this. Dunna’ judge me so harshly. I have already been convicted of this crime. I have suffered the punishment long enough.”

  “I…just need to think, Derek. Please leave me.”

  I can never leave ye’. Please dunna’ do this.

  Kiera choked back a sob and she pushed passed Derek. She needed to think. She had to just get away from him for a while. His presence now in the physical plain was too powerful to resist. She needed to put a little distance between them so she could think clearly. Once she had time to clear her head, she hoped that she would be able to put the ugly scene from her mind and get back to the business of loving Derek, because to not love him was something Kiera was not certain she could do. He was part of her…now probably in more ways than one.

  She wandered into town, not really knowing what to do and losing track of time and space. Kiera stumbled into the local pharmacy and without thinking too much, bought herself a pregnancy test. She, now more than ever, needed to know for sure if she was pregnant. If she wasn’t, she may decide to leave Derek and pick up the pieces of her broken heart again. Could she really run away from this problem this time? If she was pregnant, well Kiera did not want to think of that now. She would decide what to do if and when it was confirmed.

  As Kiera wandered through the town, more and more the light was cast upon the blackness of the despair that had enveloped her from the dark vision of Derek’s past. The fact was that she was the one who was unworthy of Derek. Kiera had promised him forgiveness and she had promised him redemption, yet she was the first one to judge and shun him. Yes, he had killed that girl on the day he meant to kill one of her distant ancestors, but she was not sure that her ancestor would not have done the same, given half the chance. She would not even listen to him and she saw the look on his face. He was not a stupid man and he was fully aware of her rejection. She saw it as it registered in his eyes and Kiera knew that he was aware that he had been reviled by the only woman he had ever dared to love. She had taken his heart and crushed him as only one who held the power of love over another. What have I done?

  She had to get back to him. She had to apologize to him. Not the other way around. With the paper bag from the pharmacy clasped in her hand, Kiera hurried back to the Keep. She had been wandering so aimlessly, she hadn’t even realized how late it had become. The late afternoon sun was making its arc in the sky, signaling the shorter hours of available daylight and Kiera just wanted to see Derek and once again beg for his forgiveness.

  By the time she got back to the Keep, Kiera was tired and more than a little hungry. But, first things first, she thought. Time to come to grips with the past and either let it go for good or let Derek go, because if she could not forgive him of his medieval past, she would never be worthy of his love. She did not want to lose him, she realized. She could not lose him, so Kiera had to put the image of the girl pinned to the tree, behind her and never think on it again. She prayed to God that she would be strong enough to do just that.

  Chapter 37

  As Kiera approached the Keep, there were only a handful of people milling about. It had grown later than Kiera wanted to admit. She spied a lone man standing off in the shadows. Probably one of the tourists just taking in the grounds, Kiera thought. However, when she got closer to the entrance, she thought he looked familiar, but he was hidden by the dimness of the waning afternoon sun. Kiera nodded his way and attempted to open the entrance door, when she felt him grab her by the arm. Oh my God, it’s Jax.

  “Well, well, well. No kiss for your loving fiancé?”

  Kiera tried to pull her arm free, but he gripped it only tighter.

  “What the hell are you doing here, Jackson? And I am not your fiancé, by the way, or have you forgotten?”

  “Oh, yes, I heard you were getting married. Interesting. Does your blushing groom know that you belonged to another man?”

  “I don’t belong to you Jackson. You made sure of that months before we broke up. Now let go of me.”

  “Oh, no. I want to meet your new boyfriend.”

  Boyfriend…that sounded so insipid. Derek never felt just like a boyfriend. He was part of her soul. Oh God, he is part of my soul…I have been such a fool…

  “Where is the lucky devil? I want to congratulate him myself.”

  Jackson was acting irrationally. It was almost like he was drunk, but he was stronger in this state than when he was sober. Drugs…must be definitely from some sort of drug, Kiera thought. Panic was starting to burble up inside of her. Jackson had come all this way. This was not just being irrational. Kiera felt the eminent danger as Jackson dug his fingers into her arm painfully. She jerked her arm, trying to get him to release her and she said, “Let go of me. You are hurting me.”

  “Hurting…hmmm…interesting. And what do you think you have done to me?”

  “I never did anything to you, Jackson. You were the one who was cheating on me.”

  “How do you think I felt when your buddy back home told me that you were getting married? I went wild, Ki, when I heard you were marrying some Scottish bastard.”

  “Buddy…what do you mean my buddy back home?”

  “Oh come on now, you know who I mean. The one who was so willing to help you move out of our home. Your BFF…she thought she could hide where you had gone off to, but I managed to get it out of her.”

  When Jackson said that, Kiera realized he had been responsible for Jeanne’s “mugging”.

  “Oh my God. You were the one to beat her up, aren’t you?”

  “Never mind about that. I think you have embarrassed yourself enough, not to mention my good name and my family’s reputation. It is time you came home and stop this ridiculous behavior.”

  Kiera started to feel very frightened. He had been the one to hurt Jeanne. She knew that now. He was talking like a crazy person. There was something very weird in the way his eyes blazed, like a person who had stared too long at a light bulb or something. She tried to yank her arm away from him, but that only angered him further.

  “Let’s go. I am taking you home where you belong.”

  “Leave me alone. I am not going anywhere with you. Have you lost your mind, Jackson? You were the one who wanted to play the field, remember?”

  At those words, he backhanded her across the face. If he wasn’t holding onto her arm in a vise-like grip, she would have been flung to the ground.

  “You don’t get to question me, got it? You were nothing but white trash before I found you and turned you into a girl worthy of my class. But you can’t turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse…look at you, whoring yourself to some Scottish heathen.”

  Kiera rubbed her cheek. It stung from the force of his blow, but more than that, his maniacal words were like scathing razors, set to cause harm. When they had parted, there was no drama. It was like it had never even mattered to him at all. Kiera was confused where all this emotion and anger was coming from. She knew it was clichéd, but he was truly someone who she didn’t know at all.

  “You don’t know anything about him.”

  “And just where is this guy. I am dying to meet the one who thinks to take my leavings.”

  Kiera was getting angry.

  “Who do you think you are? I am not your leavings, Jackson Samms. You didn’t give a rat’s ass about me six months ago and who knows how much longer before that. What gives you the right to make any claims on me?”

  “Rights? I turned you into a woman of class. You were so ill-bred, with that hippy father of yours and a mother that had long since been missing from the equation. I was honing you to fit into my world.”

  “Your world? Of the pure-breds of East Hampton? Please spare me the trouble. I don’t fit into that world. I never did and I never will. I am happy to be the daughter of a free spirit, such as my father. I am much more like him than any
of your society, country club set. Now, get your fucking hands off of me.”

  “You don’t get to call the shots, here, Kiera. I am taking you home and we will finish this. You have shamed my family long enough.”

  Kiera shook off his grip finally and she pushed Jackson with all her might.

  “I am not the one who shamed your family. You have done quite nicely in that regard all by yourself. You slept with tramps and now it seems you have brought the drug dealers to their lily white doors.”

  At her words, he turned on her.

  “You little ungrateful slut.”

  Kiera knew when to succumb to fight or flight and when she saw the crazed look in Jackson’s eyes, she began to run. Her heart was pounding as she willed her legs to carry her away from this man who she no longer knew. He had become some sort of a monster. Monster…Oh my God. I thought Derek to be some sort of monster, but the true one is here and he wants to kill me.

  It was obvious that Jax was strung out on drugs and knowing now that he had hurt Jeanne, Kiera had no doubt he would do worse to her. She ran as fast as she could, but she could feel him gaining on her. She wished Derek was with her to help her, but she realized she had hurt him deeply…maybe too deeply to even want to see her again, let alone marry her or, for that matter, rescue her. She had all but rejected him for a past that had no business being part of their future.

  Just as Jackson caught up and grabbed her around her waist, Kiera kicked and screamed for help. It seemed that any of the other bystanders were now out of earshot and they probably thought that she was just having a game with Jax. She could feel him squeezing her around her rib cage in a hold that was nearly causing her to pass out. When had he gotten this strong, she wondered.

  “Let me go, you mother fu…” and before the curse could leave her lips, Jackson’s fist slammed into the side of her head.

  “Filthy mouth from a filthy whore.”

  How ironic that he considered her to be the whore, when he was the one who had numerous indiscretions while they were a couple. Kiera felt the pain of his blow and it felt like he had hit her harder than with his fist. She struggled against him and he grabbed her hair, yanking her head back as hard as he could. She felt her neck snap back and she cried out in pain. Kiera lost all sense of reason and she raked her nails across his face. Dropping her to the ground, Jackson roared in pain and anger. Kiera lost her balance and she tumbled at Jackson’s feet. As the pain seared through her skull, Kiera could not seem to rise for her escape. It was too late. Jackson was on her in a minute and the true beating began. He pummeled her and kicked at her. Kiera dodged many of the impending kicks, rolling just enough so that his boot connected with her hip and not her middle or side. She could not protect her face as he slapped her repeatedly. Her main goal for the moment was to guard her body, in case she was truly pregnant. She was not going to have him cause her to miscarry if that was the case, so she protected her stomach, but her face received the brunt of his abuse. He clocked her pretty hard in the temple and she thought she was going to lose consciousness. She prayed for help and just as Jackson was going to land a close punch to her nose, Kiera felt him being lifted off of her.