Recovering Ivy

by Riley Edwards

  Family. My family. All the people I loved most in the world were here to welcome the boys. I never thought any of us would have this. But seeing how much joy my nephews had brought, I was forever grateful.

  Bets had been made about the sex of the babies and the debts had been settled, now everyone was trying to guess the twins’ names.

  Jasmin glanced up and winked at Linc.

  “Can someone hand me Asher Thomas please?”

  The room went quiet and Jax and Leo both looked down at the babies they were holding. They both looked ridiculous holding these tiny little bundles in their monster-sized hands.

  “Umm, I don’t know which one I have.” Leo shook his head as a look of bewilderment crossed his face.

  “I don’t know how you tell these little fuckers apart. Which one is this one?” Jax asked.

  Jasmin and I let out a peal of laughter. And Violet shook her head.

  “I don’t know, maybe you have Robert Zane?”

  I locked eyes with Linc. As much as I tried, I could not stop the emotions from overtaking me. I watched as a tear slid down his cheek, mirroring my own.

  We both quickly wiped it away, hoping that no one noticed.

  “A man that is any type of man sheds tears on two occasions in his life; when his woman slips his ring on her finger and at the birth of his children.” Tom’s voice sounded unusually gruff. “Now give me this Asher Thomas. He and I have some things to discuss. Namely, his thoughts on the second amendment.”

  My eyes had not left my brother’s. He came closer to me and shot his hand out. I grabbed hold of it and he pulled me in for a hug.

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “There is no better big brother. We want you to know that they are yours if something happens to us. There is no one we trust more with our boys than you. We know they have a room full of honorary uncles who would give their own lives for them, but it is you that we know will teach them to be men. Because there is no better man than you, Zane. You don’t forget that.”

  He looked over at his wife, who was now holding both his sons, smiling at him like he had just given her the world instead of the other way around.

  “Proud of you, Linc. Can I…” Fuck. I didn’t do this mushy shit. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Can I hold my nephew?”

  Linc placed Robert in my arms and I felt Ivy wrap her arms around us.

  “He’s beautiful. Those Parker genes - boy, they run true and deep. I think I may be in trouble.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because if your brother’s sons are this adorable, I’ll be fighting off teenage girls with a bat when they come around trying to find ours.”

  Ours.

  For the first time in a week I could breathe.

  I had a lot to make up for. But Ivy was still by my side. She didn’t run. She stayed so we could fight. Together.

  34

  Ivy

  “They are so cute. And did you see how tiny they are?”

  “They are and yes.” Zane chuckled.

  I talked about Robert and Asher the whole drive home from the hospital. He was being a good sport about it, but I could tell there was something on his mind. The more nervous I became about what that something was, the more I babbled on about the babies, afraid any lull in the conversation would change into a topic I was too scared to talk about.

  After my talk with the girls, I felt better, stronger. I knew what I needed to do, but it didn’t mean I was brave enough to do it right this minute. The birth of his nephews was the perfect excuse to postpone the talk we needed to have.

  “Why don’t you go and get ready for bed and I’ll lock up. I’m fuckin’ beat.”

  “Oh. Okay.” I dropped my purse on the side table and made my way to the bedroom. I rushed through a shower, not bothering to wash my hair, just needing to rinse the stickiness of the day away. I was pulling my hair out of the clip when I heard Zane come into the bedroom. My mouth watered and my hands itched to reach out and touch him when he appeared in the doorway only in his boxer briefs.

  “Do you mind?” He motioned to the sink.

  “Not at all.” I moved over to give him room to brush his teeth.

  I continued to comb through my hair, trying my hardest not to check out his firm ass as he bent over to spit out the mouthful of toothpaste. My gaze caught his in the mirror and the sexy smirk told me I’d been caught. The look was a far cry from the mask he’d been wearing. It was full of lust and mischief. I’d missed the way he looked at me like he was getting ready to pounce and devour me.

  He wiped his mouth on a towel and extended his hand. “Ready?”

  I nodded, even though I wasn’t sure I was ready. Another night crawling into bed with him and having him hold me until we both fell asleep was both torture and heaven. At least I was wrapped in his arms, but I wanted more. I needed my Zane back.

  Before we could get into bed, he turned to face me.

  “I need to talk to you.” Tears pricked my eyes and I held my breath. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

  “What?”

  “I promise I’ll fix everything I’ve broken.”

  “You didn’t break anything.”

  “I have. First, I promised to protect you and I failed. Then over the last week I’ve watched you pull into yourself. I’ve seen the shield come up and the pain in your eyes and I allowed it because I was too much of a pussy to man up.”

  “What are you talking about? You did protect me. You stopped him. He didn’t get the chance to touch me because you didn’t let him.”

  “But he violated you, he…”

  “Stop, Zane. We’ve talked about this. Yes, I was terrified. Yes, he saw my body. But you know what? He didn’t touch me because you stopped him. I always knew you’d protect me and keep me safe, but you proved to me you’re a man of your word. You kept your promise.”

  “He could…”

  “He didn’t,” I said with more force. “Does it bother you another man saw me naked?”

  I watched as his jaw tightened and the vein in his neck pounded.

  “Yes,” he bit out.

  “Yes, because now you think I’m dirty?”

  There was the crux to all my worry. How did Zane now see me?

  “Fuck no. Christ, Ivy. I hate that he saw you because you were screaming for him to stop. I heard everything you said.”

  “It that the only reason it bothers you?”

  He waited a beat before he answered. “Another man took something that belongs to me and me alone.”

  “Then take it back, Zane.”

  “What?”

  I yanked my t-shirt over my head and tossed it aside. When I stepped out of my panties I stood before him bare. Completely. Totally. Vulnerable.

  “God, you’re beautiful.” His thick voice said with reverence.

  “Take it back.”

  “What if I scare you or I trigger a…”

  “Goddamn it. Take it back. Make me yours. In my mind, not a second has passed that I didn’t belong to you. I’ve always been yours since the first day we met. Is this what you need? Then fucking own it and claim me.”

  He didn’t need any more coaxing from me - he reached out and yanked me to him. His mouth was on mine, owning me just like I had begged. Home sweet fucking home. Nothing had tasted better than Zane’s kisses, but this one was different. He was claiming me and loving me at the same time. I could feel it.

  His boxers came off and we landed on the bed.

  “So beautiful.” He kissed the side of my neck, down my throat, and lower to my chest.

  He was keeping his touches and kisses soft and gentle and just when I was going to beg for more he sucked the skin on the side of my breast into his mouth. A few hard pulls and he looked down at the mark I knew he’d left.

  “Mine.”

  “Yours,” I agreed and arched into him.

  He settled in between my legs and I spread my legs as far as they could to give him room. He was so clo
se to where I needed him - the broad head of his dick rested on my clit and I wanted to cry out in impatience.

  “Promise if I do…”

  “You won’t.”

  “If I do.”

  “Baby, please. You won’t.”

  I reached down and grabbed his dick, lining him up where I needed him, and in one smooth hard thrust he was all the way in.

  “Zane,” I moaned.

  He rocked into me, the push and pull of his dick hitting every good place deep inside of me. Zane’s face was buried in my neck. I could feel his heart pounding, his labored breath against my skin.

  “Look at me.” He raised his head and met my eyes. “I love you.”

  “Christ, I love you, too. So fucking much, Ivy.”

  His pace didn’t falter; he was building my release, but this wasn’t how I wanted to go over the edge.

  I grabbed his face and pulled his lips to mine. After an all too brief kiss I whispered, “I want you to take me from behind.” He shook his head and I knew I was pushing my luck, but I wasn’t going to let Zane hide. “Yes. He takes nothing from us. Nothing. Not our emotion and not in our bed. I want my man to fuck me from behind and make me come.” His muscles bunched, and thrusts slowed. “Now, Zane. Right now.”

  He flipped me to my stomach and pulled me up to my knees. His rough hands stroked my back and my ass, but he made no move to take me.

  “So beautiful.” His hands never stopped touching me everywhere he could reach but the one place I needed.

  Deciding he needed a little encouragement, I lowered my shoulders to the mattress, thrusting my ass higher as I reached for my clit. Going lower, I dipped a finger inside of myself then I pushed in two. I knew he was watching, his movement had stilled, but the bed was vibrating with built-up lust.

  “Fuck, that’s sexy,” he groaned.

  “Do you like watching me finger myself?”

  “Hell, yes,” he growled.

  “Are you gonna sit back there and watch me come on my fingers or you think you’re gonna fuck me?”

  “Ivy.” His voice sounded tortured.

  “Are you stroking your dick, baby?”

  “Yes.”

  I rubbed myself harder, picturing Zane jerking himself off. I wanted to plead with him to fuck me, but if this was all he could give me right now, it was a step in the right direction.

  A heavy hand came down across my ass and I shouted in surprise. The sting morphed into heat and I sighed in contentment. Yes. I could live with this if he spanks me again.

  “Do you like teasing me, baby?” The trepidation in his tone had vanished, replaced with the hard, demanding voice I’d come to love.

  “Yes,” I admitted and wiggled my ass.

  “Don’t come, Ivy,” he warned.

  “What?” I squeaked. I was so close.

  He slammed into me and my muscles tightened around his dick.

  Smack.

  “Don’t come.”

  “But, I’m too close.”

  Smack.

  “Oh, no. You wanted me to fuck you on your knees?” He changed his angle and went deeper. “Then I’m gonna give you what you want.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  “You better start doing multiplication tables in your head then.” His hands tightened on my hips and he pounded into me. I was through my two factors in my head when I couldn’t hold back any longer.

  “Zane, I can’t.”

  “Come for me.”

  I shouted my pleasure, my legs cramped and my toes curled. I thought I was going to pass out if the spasms didn’t end.

  “Zane,” I moaned.

  “Ah fuck, Ivy!” He pulled out and hot jets of come splashed on my ass and back. I relaxed into the bed and Zane released his grip on my hips. I waited while Zane rubbed my ass. When I peered over my shoulder, he looked to be in deep concentration.

  “Zane?”

  “Yeah, baby?” He brought his eyes to mine.

  “You okay?”

  “Perfect.”

  He pulled back and got off the bed. Returning with a washcloth he cleaned my ass and back before he tossed it in the general vicinity of the bathroom.

  He pulled the sheets back and situated us the way he did every night, me tucked with my arm over his stomach and leg over his thigh.

  “Thank you,” he said after a while.

  “Nothing to thank me for.”

  “You stayed.”

  “I almost didn’t. Old shit was coming up and I was scared.” Shit that was hard to admit. “I love you so much the thought of you rejecting me was killing me.”

  “That’s why I pulled back.”

  “What?” I sat up so I could look at him.

  “I was terrified you’d reject my touch if I tried to make love to you. Hell, after what happened I was afraid you’d reject me altogether. I wouldn’t live through it, Ivy. If you left me, I’d be nothing.”

  I climbed over Zane and straddled his big body. “I will never leave you.”

  “Promise?”

  The thought of my big, strong man feeling uncertain was more than I could bear. Caroline had been right, and I’d done a piss-poor job of giving him a safe place to fall.

  “I promise.”

  I leaned forward and kissed him. What started as soft and sweet quickly turned hot and demanding. Just the way I liked it. When his dick started to stiffen between us, I rubbed myself against his hardening flesh.

  “Again?” I giggled and nudged the tip at my opening, teasing him but not taking him all the way.

  “Oh, yeah. Stop teasing and take me.”

  He didn’t have to ask me twice. Just like when he demanded I lean forward so he could mark my other breast, I obliged without argument.

  By the time round two was over I was a sticky sweaty mess, only this time Zane didn’t bother getting up to clean us up. He pulled me close and kissed my head.

  “Night, baby.”

  “Night, Zane.”

  And that night, like all the nights following, I fell asleep thanking my lucky stars I’d stayed and fought, proving that Zane was right. I wasn’t who I’d been taught I was. I was just Ivy – a woman in love with the world’s bossiest, most perfect man in the world. My dragon, my demon slayer – he had my back, my sides, and my front. And I had his.

  Epilogue

  Zane

  “Zane,” I answered after checking the caller ID on my ringing cell phone.

  “I found her,” the man on the other end cut to the chase.

  “Where?”

  “Dead in a hotel room.”

  Sarah Long would never be an issue for Ivy again. The only thing I was sorry about was I hadn’t been the one to choke the life out of her. After what she’d done to Ivy and Joey I had been looking forward to it.

  “How?” I asked.

  “Official autopsy will show, overdose.”

  “Everything clean?”

  “Hundred percent,” he verified.

  “’Preciate it.”

  “Any time. Catch you next time.”

  The man disconnected and I tossed my phone on the desk, wondering how Ivy was going to take the news. Before I could ponder too long, there was a knock on my office door.

  “Hey, whatcha doing?” Ivy poked her head through the slightly ajar door.

  I was still amazed that no matter how shitty my day had been, Ivy could bring a smile to my face. After all the years I denied myself the pleasure of happiness, I now craved her light. I didn’t care if it made me sound like a pansy-ass-teenage boy, I couldn’t breathe without her by my side.

  “Waiting for the President and Colin,” I told her.

  “Do you have a minute?”

  “For you? Always.”

  I scooted my chair back, knowing she was going to sit on my lap and wrap her slender arms around my neck. She did this every day, several times a day. She’d wander into my office and check on me.

  Damn, I loved this woman.

  “What’s that?” sh
e asked after she’d settled herself.

  I picked up the .308 bullet and handed it to her.

  “Why does it say Lewis on it?”

  “It’s an old superstition. You know the saying, a bullet with your name on it?” I waited for her to nod. “Well, I have the bullet with my name on it. I have one for all my men.”

  She reached down and grabbed the second bullet from my desk. “Wheeler?”

  “Eric’s bullet. Gretchen was cleaning the shelves last night and his bullet fell out of his flag. She didn’t know where it went.”

  “Tell me about him.”

  Fuck, it still hurt to think about him. “He would’ve loved you. You think the other guys give me shit? Eric would’ve led the pack. He was a good soldier and a better friend. He volunteered more than anyone I know. He donated to the battered women’s shelter, Toys for Tots, vets’ charities, you name it. But it was more than just money. He rode with the honor guard and offered his time to anyone that needed it. You’d never know he’d seen the perils of war up close. He was burned and scarred from head to toe, yet he kept his sunny disposition. Unless you mentioned the Russians.” I chuckled, remembering all the times we’d get a new case and the first thing he’d say was, the fucking Russians did it.

  “It’s not your fault,” she whispered.

  “I know it's not. But the what-ifs still play in my head. They always will.”

  “That’s what makes you a great leader. You always think of others before yourself. Just as long as you remember I’m here to help carry the burden.”

  It hasn’t been easy but it also hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be to open up and allow Ivy to see what I’d kept hidden away for so long.

  “I know.”

  “We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?” She settled back with her head on my chest.

  “We have.”

  “You barely freaked out last week when you saw me and Leo coming off the track.” She giggled.

  Leo had thought it would be a good idea to let Ivy test drive one of the new high-performance cars I’d added to the fleet while we were at our training facility on the Eastern Shore. I’d purchased some farmland and turned it into a commando’s playground. I’d also had a two-mile driving track installed for high-speed maneuver drills.