The Ultra Fabulous Glitter Squadron Saves the World Again

by A. C. Wise

  “Hsst!” A hand grabs her arm. Ruby whips around, lashing out and scrambling to her feet.

  In her panic it’s a moment before the hand registers as human. Flash Jr. stares at her wide-eyed. Before Ruby can ask what he’s doing here, the beetle turns, ready to charge again. Ruby grabs Flash Jr., dragging him between the trees.

  “We have to get back to the house,” Ruby says.

  More movement catches Ruby’s eye, and she pushes Flash Jr. behind her. The absence of Sapphire at her back is suddenly palpable. But there’s no hiss or chitter; Ruby stops just short of delivering a blow as Starlight draws up in alarm.

  “Star?”

  “Ruby?”

  “What are you doing here?”

  Starlight glances over Ruby’s shoulder. The warning rattle of wings comes again before she can answer. The beetle lunges, and this time, Ruby lunges back, her body shaking with adrenaline.

  The beetle veers away. Ruby grabs its leg, twisting, ignoring the spines digging into her flesh. There’s a sickening crunch as the leg rips free. Ruby staggers back, still holding the limb as the creature disappears into the woods.

  At Starlight’s hand on her shoulder, Ruby jumps. She whirls, holding the severed leg like a club.

  “I didn’t see any more when…” Flash Jr. stops, guilty as Ruby turns on him.

  “You were spying on us.” Ruby’s fingers tighten reflexively until a sharp spike of pain makes her suck in a breath.

  “You’re bleeding,” Starlight says.

  Ruby looks at the thing in her hand, ignoring the blood slicking her palm. Thick fluid oozes from the torn end of the leg — barbed, jointed, and if she straightened it out, it might be longer than her arm. She shakes her head. One thing at a time.

  “You.” Ruby grasps Flash Jr.’s biceps with her free hand, squeezing harder than she has to. “You’re coming with us. No more skulking.”

  “What were you doing outside?” Starlight pitches her voice low as she falls in beside Ruby.

  Ruby falters, then yanks Flash Jr.’s arm speeding her pace. She hopes the darkness is enough to hide the shamed blush trying to climb her cheeks. What was she thinking? Oh, I have special beetle-sensing powers thanks to a cursed necklace I stole, so I thought I would track down the bugs myself and save everyone the trouble, la-di-dah.

  The self-mocking tone in her head makes her response come out sharper than she intends.

  “I could ask you the same thing.”

  The darkness doesn’t hide Starlight’s blush at all. “I thought I saw something.” The words are barely a murmur; Starlight keeps her gaze fixed on her toes.

  Ruby doesn’t miss the way Starlight avoids looking at Flash Jr. Guilt trips her, but they need to focus on the task at hand. With a jerk of her head, she motions Starlight to open the Glitter Mansion door.

  “Go wake Bunny.”

  Starlight, desperate to escape, hurries to obey. Ruby guides Flash Jr. into the parlor.

  “Sit.” She pushes him roughly toward the couch.

  There’s a squawk of surprise, and Flash Jr. trips, knocking over a lamp.

  “Sapphire?” Ruby blinks as her eyes adjust. “Why are you sitting alone in the dark?”

  “I was trying to enjoy a little peace and quiet. Are we having a party?” Sapphire looks at Flash Jr., then the severed leg in Ruby’s hand. “If so, count me out. That looks more like M’s kind of thing.”

  The light snaps on. Bunny, perfectly coiffed as ever, missing only her signature ears, stands in the parlor doorway. One perfectly manicured hand holds her feather-trimmed white babydoll robe closed. Starlight hovers behind her.

  “Would someone mind telling me what the hell is going on?”

  When no one answers, Bunny steps fully into the room, drawing herself up. Because it’s Bunny, even the fuzzy rabbit slippers on her feet are intimidating. Ruby speaks in a rush.

  “I caught him snooping around outside.” She points at Flash Jr. “And there was a beetle. I pulled its leg off.”

  Bunny frowns; Ruby feels the silent reprimand before Bunny turns her attention to Flash Jr.

  “Did Kahuna put you up to this?”

  Flash Jr. opens his mouth, then shuts it again, looking sheepish. Bunny’s gaze hardens; Flash Jr.’s shoulders slump.

  “He’s outside in a van with the others.”

  “Call him.” Bunny snaps her fingers and points at the old-fashioned phone in cream and gold sitting on one of the parlor’s many end tables.

  Bunny turns her attention back to Ruby and the severed leg. “Let’s have a look at that thing.”

  Ruby hands the leg over. Bunny’s nose wrinkles.

  “Go take care of your hand.”

  Ruby’s heart sinks. Even trying to help, she’s gotten it all wrong. It’s the theater on the ship all over again. Ruby can almost taste the plaster dust at the back of her throat. Sapphire nudges her gently, breaking the spell.

  “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

  Sapphire guides Ruby toward the door, but they pause in synch, reluctant to miss the show. Bunny’s frown deepens as she studies the leg. Esmeralda appears, taking in the scene with a glance.

  “Is that from one of the beetles?”

  Bunny nods. Esmeralda stops just short of touching the thing.

  “Well.” A slight smile touches Esmeralda’s lips. “Good thing we know someone who can help.”

  Bunny looks up in confusion, then her expression clears. The answer comes to Ruby at the same moment.

  “Doctor B?”

  Bunny and Esmeralda both turn to stare at her. Ruby blushes again, this time without the benefit of the darkness to hide her.

  “I’ll go with you.” Penny’s voice is soft.

  Ruby starts; she didn’t hear her enter the room. Penny glances at Bunny, then her gaze skates away. Something passes between them that Ruby doesn’t understand, but the tension is palpable—electricity before a storm.

  The doorbell rings and Ruby jumps, nerves shattered. Penny opens the door to Kahuna, Bad Kitty, and Boomer. Kahuna offers a grin; the other two G-String Men have the grace to slink in behind their leader. At the fire in Bunny’s expression, Ruby braces herself, expecting a tirade. But Bunny surprises her.

  “I think you’d all better stay here for the night. If we’re in this together, we’re in it together. No more spying and second guessing. We have to trust each other.”

  Bunny waits a beat, as if waiting for a challenge. Ruby’s heart goes out to Bunny. She can’t even imagine trying to hold them all together. Ruby lets Sapphire lead her away to clean and bandage her hand to the sounds of Bunny playing the perfect hostess. Taking care of them. Like always.

  “SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK, DOC?” ESMERALDA LOOKS OVER DOCTOR Blood’s shoulder, even though the information feeding from the electronic microscope to his computer means nothing to her.

  She fights the urge to pace. The lab equipment makes her nervous. He’s reformed; Esmeralda is a firm believer in second chances, but she can’t quite shake the memory of gorilla men and rotting zombies.

  “Call me Hector.” Doctor Blood waves a distracted hand, peering through the microscope.

  Penny snorts. Esmeralda shoots her a look, but Penny simply rolls her eyes, leaning in the doorway with her arms crossed. When they first met him he went by the name Richard, but who are they—of all people—to judge him for reinventing himself?

  Hector leans back rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Oh.”

  “What is it?” Esmeralda asks.

  Doctor Blood looks so much older than he did on Mars. His scars are no longer shiny pink; they’re tired and white. Even though it was his choice, Esmeralda wonders whether working for the government under close surveillance is really better for him than jail. With the guards posted outside his door and the cameras perched in every corner of the room, he might as well be in prison. Except this way the government gets to reap the benefits of his brilliant mind under the guise of rehab, without ever paying him a dime.

>   Hector points at the screen. “Lotis tyrannus regis.” He shakes his head. His gaze wanders from the screen to the papers scattered across his desk. For a moment, Doctor Blood looks utterly lost, adrift amidst a sea of data and research that doesn’t even belong to him anymore. Esmeralda makes a mental note to ask Bunny whether she’d mind her visiting Hector more often—not just when they need something, but because Hector himself needs a friend.

  Penny unfolds herself from the doorway. “Spill it, Doc.”

  Esmeralda didn’t see Penny arm herself before they left, but it doesn’t mean she isn’t packing.

  “Hector, please.” Esmeralda keeps her voice soft, despite her anxiety.

  “It’s something we were working on.”

  “Who’s we?” Even as Esmeralda asks, pain flickers through Hector’s eyes.

  “My wife.” He pauses, squaring his shoulders. “My ex-wife, Helena, and our lab assistant, Victor. We were studying aggression in insects, making them bigger and meaner and looking for ways to control their behavior.”

  “Why?” Penny says.

  “Oh, you know, the usual.” Doctor Blood offers a wry smile. “We were building better super soldiers. Or rehabilitating prisoners. Or curing cancer.”

  “Or taking over the world?” Esmeralda raises an eyebrow, trying to break the tension. She’s grateful when Doctor Blood seem to take it as the joke she intended, even though he doesn’t smile.

  “Did you ever find a way to harness the aggression?” Penny asks.

  “I didn’t.”

  “Could Helena and Victor have continued your work?”

  The expression on Hector’s face makes her regret asking it, but they don’t have time to put kid gloves on to handle a former supervillain’s battered heart.

  “Who knows?” Something like a broken laugh escapes him. “Maybe they did, or maybe someone stole the formula. It doesn’t matter.”

  “It matters to us.” Penny moves closer, forcing Doctor Blood to look at her. “And we need to know how to stop them.”

  “I suppose I could…” Another vague gesture, taking in the lab.

  “Don’t suppose. Just get to work.” Penny’s voice is sharp and even Esmeralda flinches. Before she can say anything to gentle the situation, Penny strides to the door and bangs it with the flat of her hand to let the guards know they’re ready to leave. Esmeralda tosses an apologetic glance over her shoulder, then hurries to catch up.

  “WELL, WE KNOW WHAT THEY ARE, BUT NOT WHERE THEY ARE OR how to stop them,” Bunny says.

  Even though Bunny is as perfectly put-together as ever, Sapphire sees the minute cracks in her armor—the strain of holding them all together, not to mention the added complication of the G-String Men. Penny will barely make eye contact with anyone; CeCe and Silk are secretive, whispering to each other; M has vanished, as usual; and Starlight can’t stop staring at Flash Jr.

  Meanwhile, the looks Boomer keeps giving her set Sapphire on edge. It’s like he’s trying to figure her out, and it frightens her in a whole different way than Kahuna frightens her. Kahuna with his undirected hunger, like he wants to devour the world. No wonder Bunny doesn’t like him. And Bunny likes everyone.

  “I say we search the factory again,” CeCe speaks up and all eyes turn toward her. “There must be something we missed.”

  Penny frowns, but says nothing.

  “Go with the flow, man.” Kahuna kicks his feet up onto the coffee table.

  From the tangle of his sun-and-surf gnarled white-boy dreads, he pulls out a joint. As Sapphire watches in horror, he sparks the cheap plastic lighter tucked into the waistband of his g-string.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Bunny’s voice cracks with shock and she slaps the lighter—printed with a bare-breasted hula dancer—out of his hand. It clatters to the floor.

  “Hey, man. I’m just trying to relax. This is how I get into the zone before a mission.” Kahuna seems unfazed, but he leans forward, planting his feet on the floor and Sapphire catches the gleam in his eye.

  How much is an act? He’s still holding the joint, but he makes no move for the lighter.

  “There’s no smoking in this house,” Bunny says.

  “She does it.” Kahuna indicates CeCe. Bunny and Silk both shoot CeCe a look, but the Velvet Underground Drag King merely shrugs.

  “You have your vices, I have mine.” Kahuna indicates the bar before retrieving the lighter, turning it in his hand.

  Bunny clenches her jaw, but even though Sapphire sees the fight in her eye, she turns deliberately away from Kahuna and addresses the room at large.

  “Since no one has any better ideas, we’ll check the factory again. But we go as a group this time, no more splitting up. Make whatever preparations you need. We’ll reconvene in half an hour.”

  Murmuring fills the room. Sapphire moves to Bunny’s side.

  “Are you okay, honey?”

  “Fine,” Bunny says, but the word is too tight.

  Before Sapphire can push the issue, Bunny moves away. Always smiling, always taking the time to comfort others when they’re hurting, but who does Bunny turn to when she’s in pain? Sapphire watches her walk away, the cracks in her armor already spackled over. Compared to Bunny, CeCe was easy.

  Turning, Sapphire finds Starlight lingering in the doorway. And Boomer hasn’t moved from his place beside the unlit fire.

  “He really isn’t that bad, you know.” Boomer gestures toward the window.

  Kahuna has moved outside to the lawn. Smoke curls around him, and his ass, barely covered by the thin line of his g-string, is pointed defiantly at the parlor’s picture window. Boomer frowns.

  “I know he comes off as an asshole, but that’s just his thing, you know?”

  “Does he have any redeeming qualities?” Sapphire can’t keep the arch skepticism from her voice.

  “He’s a good guy to have at your back in a fight.” Boomer shrugs, an apologetic motion. “He’s saved my life at least a dozen times.”

  His accent softens as he says it, approaching fondness, approaching humanity, approaching fear. He sounds like a man who’s been to war, and come out scarred. More than just a shiny g-string and a package to match. How much is he an act, too? As soon as the thought crosses her mind, she pushes it away. Sapphire doesn’t want to know whether he loves dogs, and calls his mother every Sunday. She doesn’t want to know if he gives money to charity and is working on a Master’s degree at night. She wants him to be pretty and empty and easily dismissed. Sudden enough she’s afraid it will betray her, but too set to stop, Sapphire sweeps past him, chin held high. Startled, Starlight jumps out of her way. As she passes, Sapphire murmurs so only Starlight can hear, though the words may as well be for herself.

  “We don’t have time for distractions. We have a job to do.”

  THIS IS THE ULTRA FABULOUS GLITTER SQUADRON, ARRAYED FOR battle—peacock feathers and sequins, green velvet and copper lamé, shimmering white seed pearls, and, of course, bunny ears. Madeline has never seen the Squadron look so fierce and so beautiful. In her sharp white suit, fedora tilted askew and domino mask over her eyes, she almost, almost feels like she belongs among them.

  The rational side of her mind tells her she has no business playing hero. The clothes might make the woman, but she doesn’t know that for sure. She can’t trust that in the end she won’t fall flat on her face. How will her crisp, white suit look after a battle? What happens when the cape fluttering at her shoulders catches on something?

  “Everyone inside.”

  At Bunny’s order, Silk is swept up with the rest of the Glitter Squadron. There’s no more time for doubt.

  Penny has one of her many weapons drawn, Bunny has her harpoon at the ready, and CeCe has her sword-cane to hand. Even the G-String Men, ridiculously under-clothed, have their boomerangs and slings. CeCe glances her way, and Silk returns the most charming smile she can: fake it till you make it.

  She moves deeper into the factory, almost strutting, showing
more confidence than she feels. As Silk passes one of the silent pieces of machinery, her foot comes down, and there’s a sharp crack. The breath rushes out of her as the floor gives way. Silk flails for a moment, but her cry of surprise is cut short as her cape snags, arresting her fall.

  “Maddy! Hang on!” CeCe’s face is framed by rotten wood; dusty factory light filters in from behind her.

  Madeline forces herself to take a deep breath, assess her situation. The cape isn’t choking her, and for the moment, it feels like it will hold.

  “I’m okay.”

  She looks down. It’s a moment before the shadows resolve into distinct shapes—discarded machine parts, stacks of rotting storage crates, massive wooden spools holding rusted skeins of wire.

  “It’s a basement storage level,” Madeline says. “It’s not that far to the ground.”

  “Maddy, don’t!” CeCe leans over the hole, but the wood creaks ominously, forcing her back.

  It’s foolish, it’s risky—it’s flat-out stupid and Madeline knows it. But she can’t have the others trying to haul her up—the floor will collapse.

  “It’s not that far.” Murmuring the words aloud does little to calm her, but Madeline pumps her legs, letting gravity do the rest.

  The silk tears. Madeline’s heart lurches, but she remembers to tuck and roll. The impact still jars, and pain spikes through her ankle. She can’t help a shout—as much surprise as pain.

  The world is sideways and she can’t move. She’s hit a piece of machinery; she’s punctured something vital; only shock is keeping her alive; she’ll die alone and there’s no way out.

  “Maddy.” CeCe’s voice shakes her from the endless loop of terrible scenarios running through her mind.

  “I’m okay.” She releases the words with a shaky breath. “I twisted my ankle, but I’m okay.”

  She stands, sucking in a breath, and tests her weight. Pain shoots through her ankle and she braces herself against a stack of crates. When the pain ebbs, Silk takes stock of the space.