Don't Forget Me

by B C Schiller

  ‘Yes, we have an Olivia Hofmann. Bicycle accident, hit and run. She’s in Room 237 in Wing B.’

  ‘The same room number as in The Shining,’ Levi said spontaneously.

  ‘Where Jack Nicholson meets the beautiful stranger.’ The receptionist smiled at Levi knowingly.

  ‘Oh, another film buff,’ Levi said, regretting that he didn’t have time for a longer chat.

  He rushed through the corridors towards Room 237. Looking through the glazed panel in the door, he saw a man with grey hair standing by Olivia’s bed with his back to him. He wondered briefly whether to enter but decided against it and instead took the lift down to the cafeteria. He’d wait and see Olivia a little later.

  26

  When Olivia opened her eyes again, a blurred face that looked like Nils Wagner was bending over her.

  ‘I told you it would end badly. With the state you’re in, you just have too much on your plate at the moment,’ Nils whispered, stroking her forehead gently. ‘You’re ruining your health.’

  Olivia was too tired to respond. Her head was still swirling, and she closed her eyes. It’s only a bad dream, she thought, but opening her eyes once more, she realised that Nils was no fantasy but an unpleasant reality.

  ‘What did you mean when you said it would end badly for me?’ she croaked.

  ‘Everything will be fine, my dear. Don’t worry. We’ll see to everything.’ Nils patted her hand patronisingly.

  ‘What are you seeing to?’ Olivia was breathing harder now. She had an appalling headache and wasn’t certain that she’d understood Nils’s words correctly.

  ‘We’ll look after you so you can get well again quickly.’

  ‘What are you doing here anyway?’

  ‘The police called me.’

  ‘Why you?’

  ‘They found your clinic ID card on you.’

  ‘Ah, thank you.’

  Olivia felt for the patient’s file lying on the bedside table. Slowly the memory of last night and her accident came back. A car had driven into her and sped away. According to the file she had a concussion and some bruising. There must have been a guardian angel watching over her, she reflected.

  ‘Can I have a look?’ Nils took the file from her and read it closely.

  ‘Oh, so there was alcohol in your blood.’ Nils shook his head disapprovingly. He pointed to the sheet and then showed it to Olivia. ‘What are you up to, Olivia? You were lucky.’

  ‘I wasn’t drunk, if that’s what you mean. And it wasn’t an accident. Someone tried to kill me.’ Olivia tried to raise her voice, but her bruised ribs couldn’t take it and her face contorted with pain.

  ‘Calm down,’ Nils said. ‘Who on earth would want to kill you?’

  ‘Someone who wants to prevent my investigations in the Lisa Manz case. Someone like you,’ Olivia replied.

  ‘Rubbish! You’d consumed alcohol and were nearly twice the legal limit.’ Nils touched her arm reassuringly. ‘I’ll talk to the doctor and they’ll give you a sedative, then they can give you a thorough check-up and perhaps we ought to look into referring you to a rehab centre.’ He smiled confidently and adjusted his tie.

  ‘Certainly not. I’m not ill. I’ll be out of here tomorrow. I have to make money and can’t afford to live on sick pay,’ Olivia said.

  ‘Take it easy, Olivia.’ Nils’s voice again sounded patronising. ‘You can’t work at the moment.’

  ‘And why ever not?’ Olivia tried to sit up, but it hurt too much. Exhausted, she sank back into the pillow.

  ‘Well, apart from your normal difficulties, you now have an alcohol problem as well. Do I need to explain myself any further?’

  ‘Oh, stop it. You know as well as I do that I’m not a drinker.’ Olivia was shaking with anger. Of course she knew what would follow next. She felt utterly powerless.

  ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t change the facts. My advice is to go to the rehab centre in Kalksburg where you can undergo alcohol withdrawal therapy. In the meantime I’m going to have to suspend you from working at the clinic. It’s for the best.’ Again he patted Olivia’s hand.

  ‘Go away,’ Olivia said, closing her eyes, ‘and I don’t want you coming back.’

  ‘I can understand that.’ Nils’s voice sounded soft and superior. He was very sure of himself. Why was she so damn alone? Why was there nobody by her side who could help her in this threatening situation?

  ‘One more thing, for your information.’ Nils paused before he continued. ‘Maybe it’s not the right moment, but it’s my duty to tell you.’

  ‘What else?’

  ‘The date for the inquiry by the board of directors is coming up soon. You will remember to attend, won’t you?’

  ‘Why are they carrying out this inquiry?’

  ‘Do you really have to ask me that? A patient committed suicide in your presence. That’s enough, isn’t it?’

  ‘It wasn’t suicide. It was murder.’

  ‘Not that again!’ Nils shook his head, irritated. ‘It was suicide. The police have confirmed it.’ He looked at her pityingly. ‘You leave me no choice.’

  ‘You’ve organised this all very nicely,’ Olivia whispered, closing her eyes again. ‘You just don’t want me to look into the Lisa Manz case – your patient, and your experiments with her.’

  ‘Oh, Olivia, you and your fantasies! It probably runs in the family. Has your father told you anything else about Lisa Manz?’

  ‘No, my father can’t remember her. Can you please leave me in peace now?’

  ‘Good, good. Well, look after yourself.’ Nils went to the door, then stopped and looked back at her. ‘Whether you believe it or not, I am on your side.’

  ‘Whatever.’

  Olivia turned her head to the window; the sky was blue, and the leaves were shimmering in the sunlight. The world outside was beautiful, and a stark contrast to the ominous grey thoughts swirling through her mind.

  When she opened her eyes again, it was getting dark. A nurse had entered her room, followed by a doctor. The nurse changed the bag of saline, while the doctor asked, ‘How are you feeling now?’ He took a pen from his pocket and held it in front of Olivia’s eyes. ‘Follow the pen with your eyes,’ he told her.

  Olivia did as he asked, and he seemed happy with her response and tucked the pen away.

  ‘Someone from the police urgently wants to talk to you. He’s waiting outside. Are you happy to see him?’

  ‘Yes, but talking is painful.’

  ‘That’s because of the bruised ribs. They’ll take a while to heal.’

  ‘Please send him in,’ Olivia said.

  The doctor went, leaving the door open, and then Levi was standing by her bed, looking down at her with concern. When Olivia tried a smile, his expression cleared slightly. He sat down on her bed and said, ‘Thank God you’re still alive, Olivia. Lisa and I need you.’

  27

  The door to Olivia’s room opened gently and a nurse entered with a tray which she put on the bedside table. Levi got up and waited until the nurse had left.

  ‘You must eat,’ he said with concern. Olivia’s face was bruised; there was a plaster on her left temple and she had dark shadows under her eyes.

  ‘I’m not hungry,’ she said.

  ‘What exactly happened last night?’ Levi sat down on a chair beside the bed. Olivia haltingly told him what she could remember.

  ‘Sounds like you’ve been very lucky,’ Levi said. ‘I was getting really worried when I couldn’t get hold of you.’

  ‘You worried about me?’

  ‘Yes, of course. And with good reason, it seems. I don’t think this accident was coincidental. Who was the man who just visited you, by the way?’

  ‘Nils Wagner, head of the clinic. Don’t you know him from five years ago?’

  ‘When Lisa disappeared from the clinic, we only questioned the doctor on duty. I meant to call in the other medics and nurses too, but never got around to it because of my accident. The case was taken over by a col
league.’

  ‘So Nils was not on duty when Lisa disappeared?’

  ‘No, but what did Wagner want from you now?’

  ‘He’s suspended me. He says I’m an alcoholic and should be sent to rehab,’ Olivia said with a bitter laugh. ‘What a mess.’

  ‘You were drunk when the accident happened?’

  ‘Of course not. If I’d really had that amount of alcohol in my blood, I wouldn’t’ve been able to ride my bike. Either someone tampered with my blood test or there’s been a mistake, but how can I prove it? It’s like I’ve prodded a wasp’s nest. Not only has a patient of mine died, but someone also wants to ruin my life.’

  ‘Relax. If we can prove that Jonathan is not Lisa Manz’s murderer, then his case will automatically be reopened and the questions concerning his alleged suicide will have to be asked again.’

  ‘And how are we going to do that?’ Olivia sounded hesitant, but Levi saw in her eyes that his words had given her some hope.

  ‘What about the pages from the diary? Do you still have them with you?’ he asked.

  ‘They should be in my bag,’ Olivia said. She tried to sit up, but Levi noticed how she grimaced with pain and carefully eased her back.

  Olivia’s grey dress was hanging in the wardrobe, filthy and with a long tear down one side. The bag was on the bottom shelf and Levi searched through it; if it really had been an attempt on Olivia’s life, then it was also possible that the unknown enemy knew about the diary. But they were in luck.

  ‘The diary’s still here,’ he said, holding it up triumphantly.

  ‘We have to take it to the police.’ Olivia was sitting up now. ‘It’s much too dangerous to keep it here.’

  ‘No, we can’t do that,’ Levi said. ‘Not a good idea.’ He was thinking of the implied threats from his former boss. ‘It would be far too risky.’

  ‘For someone who’s with the police, this is . . .?’ Olivia raised an eyebrow.

  ‘Five years ago, someone at the very top tried hard to interfere with my investigation. All further inquiries were stopped when I was in hospital and I couldn’t do a thing about it.’

  ‘Do you really think that someone was out to murder me?’ Olivia asked in surprise.

  ‘No, not to kill you, but to give you a warning. Now you’re frightened, and that’s exactly what they wanted to achieve. We really have to be extra careful now.’

  ‘I’m not afraid,’ Olivia said. ‘I’m quite good in dangerous situations.’

  ‘Don’t underestimate your opponent’s determination,’ Levi warned. ‘By the way, where’s Lisa’s file from the clinic, the one you borrowed from the archive?’ He didn’t want to say ‘stole’.

  ‘It’s at my flat. I never got around to picking it up.’

  ‘We need every bit of evidence we can lay our hands on. Every little detail can help. Every last piece of the puzzle about Lisa’s final year is important.’ He paused for thought. ‘There has to be something somewhere that’ll help unravel it all.’

  ‘There is that gap of five days between Lisa’s escape from the clinic and her death,’ Olivia said. ‘Maybe we’ll find a clue as to where she was during that time and who helped her. That might put us on the trail of her murderer.’

  28

  LISA’S DIARY

  I’m allowed to leave the clinic for the weekend. Papa has arranged it with the doctor – he wants to see if I’ve made any progress.

  ‘You are aware of the shame you have brought on the family?’ Papa says when I enter his study.

  ‘I’ve done everything the doctor said.’ I’m anxious and can barely stand still in front of Papa’s desk.

  ‘The doctor says that you’re far from well enough to leave the clinic for good. Your emotional life is underdeveloped. That’s why you’re so aggressive.’

  ‘But that’s not true,’ I say. ‘I simply don’t like his methods.’

  ‘And what exactly is it you don’t like?’

  ‘Well . . . nothing . . .’ I can’t tell Papa what the doctor does with me. Papa would get very upset, and then everything will be my fault again. ‘If I really, really try to be good at the clinic, will I be allowed home again?’

  ‘We shall see what the doctor says.’ Papa rises. ‘Is your room tidy?’ he suddenly asks. I feel the blood rising to my cheeks.

  ‘Of course,’ I stammer. My thoughts are racing. I left the window open so Ali could come in from the roof, but I’ve not been here for a while so hopefully he’s found somewhere else to stay. It would be better if I checked for myself.

  ‘I left my rucksack on the bed. I’ll quickly put it away, then you can come.’

  ‘No, we’ll take a look right now.’

  ‘There’s really no need. Everything is shipshape.’ I try to keep him at bay.

  ‘That is really not for you to decide.’ Papa grabs my arm in an iron grip and drags me out into the hall and up the stairs.

  ‘Let go! You’re hurting me!’ I cry. It feels like he’s dislocating my shoulder.

  ‘What is all this noise?’ Mama comes out of her room. ‘Why are you shouting like that? I can’t concentrate.’ She stares at me disapprovingly.

  ‘Papa is hurting me!’

  ‘Nonsense!’ Mama says, waving her script at me. ‘Now get lost. I’m studying for my new role.’

  My heart is pounding by the time he stops in front of my room.

  ‘Open the door!’ Papa commands and lets go of my arm. The room is tidy, the wardrobe closed. On my desk is nothing but the framed photo of Mama, Papa and me. I breathe a sigh of relief.

  ‘And what is that?’ Papa points to my bed. Ali is lying there, curled up and fast asleep.

  ‘It’s only a poor little homeless cat,’ I say, stepping between the cat and my father, arms spread out wide.

  ‘You actually let stray cats into our home? Have you completely taken leave of your senses? Cats breed uncontrollably and carry bacteria and disease. Like all animals. Have you not considered that I might have a cat allergy? Or your mother? Of course not. We have rules in this house, but you consistently break them.’

  ‘Ali’s only in my room,’ I say, feeling my anger slowly overcoming my fear.

  ‘So you’ve already named the animal? It’s been here for a while then? You really are a very naughty girl,’ Papa says with a sigh. ‘Very well then, show me the cat and then we shall see.’

  ‘Thank you!’ I say and turn to the bed. Ali is purring and stretches as I pick him up. ‘Isn’t he cute?’

  ‘He’ll grow up into a big tomcat,’ Papa says. ‘Come on, give him to me.’

  ‘You won’t hurt him, will you?’ I look at Papa doubtfully, but his face is inscrutable.

  ‘No, he won’t feel a thing. I am a doctor after all.’ He leaves my room with the cat under his arm.

  It’s nearly midnight when I wake up. The moon is shining through the window and its cold rays fall as far as the door opposite. I get up quietly and step out into the corridor, then sneak along the gallery so I won’t wake Papa. The stairs creak on my way down to the kitchen.

  ‘Ali,’ I whisper and put some milk into a bowl. Then I open the door to the kitchen garden and wait. Ali loves milk. I sit for hours on the cold step, waiting for my cat. I cry silently, feeling more alone than ever. Ali never comes.

  Shivering, I make my way upstairs again. I stop in front of Mama’s door, hesitate, then press the handle down. Mama sleeps on her back, wearing an eye mask. She’s been suffering from insomnia for years now and there’s a whole squad of homoeopathic remedies on her bedside table.

  ‘Mama,’ I whisper, ‘can I come in bed with you?’ I lift the duvet and slip in. Mama’s body is thin and bony – she’s always on some diet.

  ‘I must be slim, or I won’t get any roles as the young romantic lead,’ she always says. But Mama hasn’t had a lead role since she played Medea before I was born. Since then she’s had to make do with bit parts. It’s all my fault.

  ‘Mama, can you hold me really tight?’ I ed
ge closer to her, but she pushes me away.

  ‘You’ve woken me up now. You know how difficult it is for me to get to sleep,’ she hisses. ‘Get out of my bed this minute!’

  ‘Mama, please let me stay! I promise I’ll be quiet.’ I’m begging her.

  Mama sighs. ‘Oh, for goodness’ sake. Now I have a migraine as well, and it’s entirely your fault. I can’t cope with this. Thank God you’ll be back at the clinic tomorrow and we’ll all be able to get some peace again.’

  It’s no good. I go back to my room. The moon is still shining brightly and bathed in its silvery light I walk to the window as though on a luminous carpet. My room is on the second floor and I lean out of the window, looking down at the terrace below. Then I climb on the windowsill and sit there. My legs are dangling outside – and I spit. If I jump now, I’ll die.

  29

  ‘That’s just so sad,’ Olivia said, gazing at Levi with tears in her eyes. He closed the diary and stroked his stubbly beard.

  ‘For a fourteen-year-old, Lisa expresses herself very well.’

  ‘She always wanted to become a writer,’ Olivia said. ‘It says that somewhere in her files, in one of the interviews they did at the clinic.’

  ‘Any idea who this doctor might have been?’ Levi asked.

  ‘It was probably Nils Wagner.’ Olivia looked questioningly at Levi. ‘It would fit with all the things he’s trying to do to me now.’

  ‘But he’d hardly be so stupid as to make himself a suspect. I never once came across his name five years ago. Anyway, the place is only ever called the “clinic”. Could she be referring to a different establishment?’

  ‘Where else could it be?’ Olivia asked. ‘But you may be right, I suppose. The entries aren’t dated so it could be older. It could have been written at any time.’

  ‘Except that Lisa does mention that she’s fourteen years old so it was during her last year in this world,’ Levi said. He looked around. ‘Can I borrow the key to your flat?’

  ‘Why?’ Olivia’s hand went to her temple. She had a pounding headache and felt a sickness take hold of her.

  ‘I want to get the files you found in the archive.’