by Joyce Alec
It was not until she had spoken with Alice and Emmeline that she realized that she had been running from it all.
She sighed. She felt she didn’t know the men enough to be able to make a proper decision.
I must know, she told herself. Lord, please help me; I must figure this out.
6
A Lack of Character
Jane’s journey began in the autumn, but ended in winter at the home of her maternal aunt. She had always been close with her aunt, and since her eldest daughter was only six months older than Jane, she formed a close friendship with her cousin, Lady Esther.
In celebration of Christmas, her aunt and uncle decided to host a ball, and Jane was excited to enjoy the festivities. Esther told her time and time again that she would be most pleased about some of the guests who were coming, some of whom were very eligible gentlemen.
Jane thought of it, a time or two, and believed that being with some young men and women who were her own age might be good for her. Perhaps she would meet a different man entirely who would sweep her off of her feet and help her to forget about Lord Hays and Lord Greenshire.
A fanciful thought, she knew.
During her stay with her family, Jane received two letters from Lord Greenshire. Both letters were cordial, but he did not offer any indication that he still held affection for her.
The ball was on a cold, windy night at the beginning of December. It was a small affair, just like her aunt and uncle had said it would be. Jane stood inside the doors with her cousins, allowing her uncle to introduce her to anyone who came near. She was relieved when no one arrived who she did not know. Handsomely dressed people crowded into the ballroom, including a couple men who Jane found interesting. According to her Esther, one was an earl with much to inherit, and the other was a marquess who inherited a vast fortune. Both were amiable, and both were somewhat handsome. Neither were as handsome as Lord Greenshire, and neither were as charming as Lord Hays.
She reprimanded herself for thinking of them.
“Well, well, well! Fancy meeting you here, Lady Jane!”
She felt her heart fall all the way to the floor felt beneath her feet.
Lord Hays?
Lord Hays grinned at Jane, and all her feelings gushed forth like a torrent, like a dam that had broken, and she had to resist the urge to dance across the space between them to stand beside him.
No, she scolded herself. No, allow him to come to you. Show some decorum in front of your family.
He sauntered over to her, slowly, deliberately. He smirked at her the entire way.
When he reached her, he stood before her, and she held out her hand to him. He scooped it up and gently pressed his lips to her hand.
“This is perhaps the best surprise I have had in a very long time,” he told her in a soft, velvety voice.
“I had no idea that you were acquainted with my cousins.”
He grinned. “I had no idea that these lovely people were your family, though I suppose I should have. Shame on me.”
Without another word, he turned to her side and offered her his arm. He looked meaningfully at it.
She smiled in return, and slid her arm easily into his.
It was amazing to her how easy it was to be with him, how familiar it was. She had not realized how much she had missed seeing him until she was with him once more.
“How long has it been since we last saw one another, Lady Jane?”
“It is as if you read my mind, Lord Hays.” She smiled as they came to stand beside a long table filled with trays of small sandwiches, pastries, mince pies, and lovely tarts. “I believe it was at the Duchess of Kirkland’s ball in September.”
“It has been months…” Lord Hays said, looking down at her through his long eyelashes. The look made her heart skip a beat. “That is far too long, my fair princess.”
“I am no princess,” she said, and she laughed lightly. It felt so nice to be with him, to be conversing with him. To be looking into his eyes and not just in her dreams.
“Compared to where I stand, my lady, you very easily could be.”
She felt a pleasant tingle of glee travel up her arms. She picked up a pretty lavender tart from one of the shining silver trays. She was pleased to see that some of her grandmother’s belongings were being used at such a fine function.
“So tell me, Lord Hays, what has brought you all the way down to Baton Ridge?”
“I happen to be staying with my friend, Lord Beverly, who lives just a short distance from here. He and his family are well acquainted with your aunt and uncle.” He took a sip from a metal goblet he held in his hand. “I am still so very surprised that they are your family. As I said, I should have guessed it. Your cousins are so very pretty, and you all share similar features.”
“She is my mother’s sister,” Jane began. “She is the youngest of their family, and she met her husband, my uncle, when they were…”
She trailed off. She noticed Lord Hays shift his gaze to just over her shoulder, at something behind her. She fought the urge to turn and look around.
“Well, she met him when they were very young.”
“Oh, yes,” Lord Hays responded, his gaze moving back to hers. “Very interesting. And your cousins, they all seem to be the same age as you,” he continued.
She straightened and moved a loose curl out of her line of sight. “They are, yes.”
“Where are your parents?” he asked. “I am surprised that you are here all alone.”
“I have been traveling to visit friends and family.”
“Oh?” he asked.
She noticed him quickly glance over her shoulder again.
She peered closely at him.
“Yes,” she said slowly.
Why is he looking away from me? What is so interesting over my shoulder?
She shook her head. I’m being foolish. I’m sure it is nothing.
“I am returning home three days from now,” she continued. “I’ve been here for almost three weeks now, and I promised my mother I would be home for…”
She swallowed. Lord Hays was clearly not paying attention to her.
Jane turned and looked over her shoulder, in the direction of his gaze. He was flustered that she had noticed, but she looked anyways. She noticed Esther, and standing with her was a pretty woman with curly dark hair and rosy cheeks. The dark-haired woman laughed at something Esther had said, and then she turned and looked at Jane and Lord Hays. She smiled nicely, and then looked back at Esther.
Jane turned back to Lord Hays, who was still gazing at the woman, with a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips. His gaze shifted immediately back to Jane’s.
“Yes,” he said, rather smoothly. “You promised your mother that you would be home for what?”
Jane smile faded. He was listening to her, but not giving her his full attention. Jane tried make excuses for his behavior. Perhaps he was just curious. Perhaps he thought he knew the young woman and was watching her passively until he decided if he did.
Heavens, I need to get myself under control, she told herself.
A tall, elderly man appeared at the shoulder of Lord Hays.
Lord Hays introduced the man to Jane, “Lord Cheshire, may I introduce you to the lovely Lady Jane Stone.”
“It is a pleasure to meet you, my lady,” the elderly man responded.
“The pleasure is all mine, my lord.”
Jane had to admit that the Lord Cheshire looked to be kind and gentle in spirit. He beamed at her and inclined his head. “My apologies, my lady, but there is some quick business we need to attend to. “Lord Hays, may I borrow you for a moment?”
“Not at all, sir,” Jane replied. “I shall be here, Lord Hays.”
He grinned at her. “I shall miss you every moment we are apart.”
Relieved, she returned to her cousins and spent some time with them before dinner.
Dinner was an elaborate affair, and Jane was disheartened that she was on the opposite
end of the table from Lord Hays. She could not see him past all of the tall candelabras and flower vases, but she had pleasant company with her aunt and uncle and some of their friends.
She was enjoying her torte when she overheard one of the young ladies a few sitting nearby. “This very handsome gentleman approached me right before dinner!”
“Did he?” her friend asked. “What did he say to you?”
“He told me that he had never seen a more beautiful woman in all of his life, and that he would have never forgiven himself if he had not spoken to me.”
“My heavens, did he really say all that?”
Jane looked up in time to see the young woman nod her head, with stars in her eyes. “He did! And I found myself entirely captivated by his words! When he smiled at me, it made my heart feel as if it were going to explode.”
Jane felt a cold, icy fear force its way through her veins.
If I didn’t know any better, I would think that she was speaking of Lord Hays.
She shook her head. I am overreacting. Most men are raised to be gentleman. How do I know that some of the other men here are not as articulate and charismatic as Lord Hays?
She glared down at the pink cake on her plate, her silver fork poised for another bite.
You know that Lord Hays had the very same effect on you when you first met him. Not only then, either. Have you been so naïve?
She was grateful that her cousin distracted her with a story of her own, and drew her from her own reverie.
The night was winding down, and she wished to find Lord Hays before he left. She’d danced all night, but she did not see Lord Hays on the dance floor, nor did he ask her to dance.
She searched through the house to find him. Many of the guests still remained, but several were fearful of the weather and had departed early.
Jane wandered into the library and found several guests who had retired there enjoying glasses of wine. They must have needed a break from the music. Lord Hays was standing in the corner. He was leaning in close to the dark-haired woman that she saw him looking at earlier in the evening.
Jane felt a flare of anger. She should have listened to her instincts that had been trying to tell her all evening that something was amiss.
Lord Hays whispered something in the woman’s ear, and she laughed softly, her hand on his shoulder. If she did not know him, she would have expected them to have been married or at least engaged.
How could she have been so foolish to believe that he only treated her with such charm? Was she so naïve to believe that she was the only woman with whom he was so enraptured? Jane should have known and should have listened to all of those in her life that had warned her.
She could have struck him where he stood. She could have screamed at him and made a scene, but she smiled maliciously instead. Jane was a lady, and she had a reputation to uphold. She straightened her dress, and in doing so, pushed all of the feelings for him out of her mind and slowly crossed the room over to where he stood.
He did not even notice her approach, but the young woman who was standing with them did. She glanced up at Jane and appeared to give her little notice. The smile on her face was still for Lord Hays.
Jane forced a poised look onto her face, and she tapped Lord Hays on the shoulder.
He lazily turned his face toward her, and as soon as it registered who he was looking at, his eyes grew wide, and fear passed over his face.
“Oh, Lady Jane,” he said, and he took a deliberate step back from the dark-haired woman.
The woman glared at her.
“There you are, Lord Hays. I am glad that I found you,” she began, and her grin widened. “I was hoping that we could discuss something that we spoke of a few weeks ago. Silly me, I had just remembered it.”
He swallowed hard, his cheeks growing more pale by the moment. He tried to force a smile, but he reminded her of a rat in a trap. “Of course, my lady. What is it that you wished to speak of?”
“Your marriage proposal,” she replied flatly. She fixed him with a snaring glare, and he nearly cowered beneath her.
“Marriage proposal?” the young woman asked, her anger turning from Jane to Lord Hays.
“Of course,” Jane said casually. “I finally have my answer for you.”
He looked helpless as he gaped up at her. “Oh, Lady Jane, surely you knew that all of that was in jest! I knew that Lord Green—”
“You proposed to her in jest?” the woman cried, her voice rising. She looked just as shocked as he did, though Jane’s anger seemed to be spreading.
“No, no, that is not what I meant,” Lord Hays answered, looking back to her, sweat beading on his forehead. “Of course not. I simply meant that—”
“Well, it was no matter,” Jane answered, and Lord Hays looked back at her. “I would never marry you,” she continued, and her tone was firm and steady. “For I would not disgrace my family in such a way as to bring a man such as yourself into a family as noble and honorable as my own.”
He looked perplexed, and he opened and closed his mouth a few times, unable to respond.
“And do not think it has a thing to do with your place in society,” she said in a low tone. “That matters not to me. No, sir, it has everything to do with your character, or lack thereof.”
Jane looked at the young woman, who was staring at Lord Hays with an expression of utter disgust. She smiled gently at her.
“Would you care to walk back to the ballroom with me?”
The dark-haired woman looked at Jane as if she had just noticed her. She straightened her shoulders and walked to stand beside Jane, away from Lord Hays.
“With pleasure,” she replied.
Jane turned away with the woman, and looked over at Lord Hays over her shoulder.
He looked devastated.
Jane smiled at him. “Do not fear, Lord Hays. You had won my affections for a short time. Unfortunately for you, I saw you for who you truly are. You can be assured that you will never be invited to any balls, dinners, or house parties hosted by my family or friends.”
Feeling far better than she had in a very long time, Jane turned and walked out of the room with the young woman whom she had rescued from Lord Hays.
“I am so terribly sorry,” the woman said to Jane when they were out of the room. “I had absolutely no idea that he had proposed to you.”
Jane shook her head. “It is of no consequence. As he said, it was in jest.”
“How deplorable,” the other woman said.
Jane shrugged. “I am quite relieved that thoughts of Lord Hays will no longer fill my mind.”
“I do hope that many other women were not hurt in the same ways that we were,” the woman added.
Jane nodded her head. “I do hope so as well. I hate to think of how many other women he has pursued.”
“I am so embarrassed. I do hope that nobody saw me with him. He was never honest, was he?”
Jane looked back at the other woman. “I do not know. Perhaps there is something redeemable in him. I do hope that he chooses his actions more thoughtfully in the future.”
Jane and the dark-haired beauty said farewell, as Jane stood in the foyer with her cousins as the rest of the guests departed the estate. Jane smiled at them all, telling them all what a lovely time she had had.
When Lord Hays passed through the hall with Lord Cheshire, Lord Hays looked at Jane sadly. She supposed if she was a weaker woman that his look would have broken her and caused her to rush to him.
But she wasn’t weak. She simply waved at him, standing tall and straight, with a smile on her face. She gave him no indication of forgiveness. He would know that he would not cross her or her family. She would not allow it.
7
The Cold, Dark of Winter
Three weeks before Christmas, Jane arrived back at the estate. She was so pleased to be home, feeling refreshed and lighter than ever. Every chance she had, she thanked the Good Lord that He had given her the means to see Lord Hays for
who he truly had been. It may not have been much that she had seen, but it was enough to know that he was trouble.
She informed her aunt and uncle, as well as her cousins, about his behavior. His uncle went ahead and did just as she had hoped for; he sent letters to all of the extended family, warning them of his ways with women. Jane felt pleased that he would not be able to torment any of the other women that she knew in the way that he had tormented her.
What had bothered her most was that he likely had no idea what sort of pain he caused her. He had no idea that his frivolous tongue had caused her to lie awake for hours at night, questioning herself and her own beliefs. She was proud that she had grown to accept the fact that she would not disregard someone based upon their station, but it did not change who he was as a person. So she felt that, overall, she had emerged the victor.
She received exactly two letters from him. The first she allowed her cousin to read, and it was so full of lies and begging for her to return to him that they both decided to toss the letter into the fireplace. The second had arrived the day after, and she did not even bother opening it. It was fuel for the kitchen fire.
Jane decided that her heart belonged to Lord Greenshire. She reprimanded herself for not following through with her logic to choose him in the beginning. He was kind, gentle, and a suitable match that her parents favored. She found herself almost giddy with excitement about seeing him now that there was nothing to distract her. She hoped that she would have the chance to see him again once she arrived home.
Jane did not have to wait very long. In fact, when her carriage pulled up to her house and she walked inside, her sisters immediately told her that Lord Greenshire was visiting and would arrive in time for dinner.
That evening, Lord Greenshire had already arrived when Jane descended the stairs for dinner. The relief that coursed through her at seeing his tall, handsome frame was almost palpable, and she smiled at him so genuinely that she knew he could not have missed the affection in her eyes. He smiled at her just as happily, and she felt as if she could have cried with joy.
