by Joyce Alec
Sarah has explained your kind and gentle nature, as well as your abilities to cook, clean, sew, and garden. I believe that we could both help each other, and I think a marriage might suit us both. I trust my niece’s recommendation, and I would like to move forward with the arrangement that she suggested.
I must admit that I have little experience with children, but I am willing to learn. If you truly have no better prospects, then I would open my home to you and your daughter.
Yours truly,
Jack
Haddie was elated. For the first time in almost two months, she felt hope. Katherine would have a home, a proper home, and Haddie would have her own space once more.
She replied to his letter, telling him a little about herself and Katherine. Though when it came down to it, there really wasn’t very much to say. She enjoyed cooking and tending a garden. She was a skilled seamstress and could ride a horse. She imagined all of these things would be valuable to a man who lived on a ranch.
His reply explained that his job was very strenuous and time consuming. He often left before the sun rose and didn’t set foot in the house again until after dark. The winters were mild in Texas, but that didn’t mean they didn’t get snow or cold nights. He said he had no desire for a long engagement or the like. If she wanted to be married, then they would marry as soon as she arrived.
It was very strange to think that she would have two different husbands inside of three months. She tried not to dwell on it, and she attempted to not think of Adam as she wrote to Jack.
“I have decided that I am going to marry Jack,” she told Katherine late one night as she slept soundly. “He isn’t your father, but I hope that he is going to be a nice, caring man who will take good care of you.”
She stroked the little one’s head, her feathery blonde hair clean after a bath that night.
“He says that he doesn’t have much experience with children, but he will learn quickly, I’m sure. You are such a sweet baby, so gentle, so happy. He will only be able to smile when he sees you.”
Katherine’s chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm. She snuffled a little but didn’t wake.
“I love your father even still, Katherine. I hope that you will be able to understand this one day. I will likely never love another man the same way I loved your father, but…I have to think of you first. I don’t want you to have a difficult life because of my own pride. This arrangement would provide us a safe place and a place to call home.”
She laid back down in her blankets, rocking the bassinet.
“I hope he is a kind man. If he’s related to Sarah, he must be. It’s a great adventure, isn’t it? Our lives are going to change…and I hope for the better.”
She rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. It almost felt like someone else’s life. Surely, she was out of her mind to pick up her life and move all the way to Texas to marry a complete stranger whom she had no intention of ever loving.
She sighed, hoping that he would be able to understand that she would most likely keep her heart locked to him. She didn’t know how she would ever be able to love another man in the same way she loved Adam.
She was willing to give Jack a chance though. She didn’t have much of a choice, after all. She was to marry him in such a short time.
3
Texas was very different from what she expected. There were a lot of open fields and pretty scenery, but she knew that it was time for snow, and yet, she saw very little, if any. She wasn’t unhappy about it, exactly, knowing the warmer weather would be better for Katherine and her health. But it just felt strange…
Everything felt strange.
A nice woman named Betsy met Haddie at the train station, having prepared a carriage to take them to Jack’s ranch. She was a woman who lived in the town about five or six miles from the ranch, and she said that Jack attended her church every Sunday, rain or shine.
Haddie didn’t feel like talking much and wasn’t ready to give her whole story to a woman she had just met. She was nervous enough about meeting Jack for the first time. She wondered what he would say, what he might look like.
“Jack is such a nice man,” Betsy said. “A very quiet sort of fellow, but he has a good heart. He’s very hard working and very sensible. You couldn’t find a man who would provide a more comfortable, stable home.”
The words eased Haddie’s heart ever so slightly.
They arrived at the ranch, or rather, Betsy said they had. The only indication that they had arrived anywhere was the appearance of a fence, and it stretched on for miles in every direction. Apparently, he owned most of the land in the county.
They went along until it was nearly dusk, and when they crested the hill, Haddie witnessed what a real ranch looked like. There was the lodge up on a hill in the distance, and a few different barns and other small sheds for storage. She saw more cattle than she could count and ranch hands riding horseback, ushering them all back toward the barns.
“Now, Jack was planning to have the wedding in town at the chapel, but he thought you might be more comfortable at the ranch, so he invited some of us to be witnesses to the ceremony. The minister is here, along with some of his friends and their wives. Everyone is so excited that Jack is finally settling down.”—she rested her hand on Haddie’s arm.“…and with such a nice young lady, too! We heard that your husband died and that you would be bringing a little bundle of joy. We just couldn’t be more pleased.”
Haddie smiled as they pulled up to the lodge, her heart pounding in her ears. She licked her lips as they came to a stop. She had no idea what to expect, or who Jack might be, or how many people might be there to witness the ceremony.
The lodge itself was beautiful, with windows on every side, a large stone chimney, and walls that were well made, sturdy. At first glance, it was easily four times the size of the home that she and Adam had lived in.
She tightened her hold on Katherine. She couldn’t afford to think of Adam. Not right now.
Betsy helped her out of the carriage and up to the front door. Beaming at Haddie, she knocked three times.
The door was opened by a tall, broad shouldered man with a dark beard and hair and eyes the same color as a stormy sky. He had a straight nose, a wide jaw, and thick eyebrows.
He looked down at Haddie with a look of mingled surprise and curiosity.
“You must be Haddie,” he said, not unkindly, though not with the warmth that she had hoped for.
Haddie, her knees trembling, nodded her head. “I-I am. You must be Jack.”
“That I am,” he replied, tipping his head to her. “You’re here just in time for our wedding, I suppose.”
“I suppose we are,” Haddie replied.
He nodded his head, and then he turned around, walking farther into the house.
Haddie looked down at Katherine who slept in her arms. He hadn’t even acknowledged her.
Maybe it is just nerves, she told herself.
“Come on in, dear. I have a dress for you to change into before the ceremony.”
Betsy led her through the home, and Haddie just stared around at it all in amazement. She had never been in a house as luxurious as Jack’s house. A great, tall room—where the large chimney originated from—held a large fireplace with windows on either side, and farther along was a large kitchen, a separate room with a long table, which was adorned with flickering candles, and a room with shelf upon shelf of books.
Betsy continued down another hall with her and showed her a large bedroom with an oversized, four-poster bed.
“Here we are,” she said, stepping aside for Haddie to pass. “This is the room that Jack has prepared for you and the baby.”
A small crib was placed beside the bed, and there was ample storage for the few things that she brought with her. The bedroom overlooked one of the pastures, and she could see horses grazing in the fading sun of the day.
“Would you like me to help you get ready?” Betsy asked.
“Yes, please,” H
addie said wistfully. She gently laid Katherine down in the crib, and she didn’t move—aside from rolling over.
Betsy had brought her a lovely pale blue dress with matching bonnet. She helped her tie her hair into a fresh braid and gave her a bouquet of flowers from the fields right outside.
“You look lovely, dear,” Betsy said, grinning at her. “Jack is one lucky man.”
She looked at herself in the standing mirror beside the wardrobe, and Betsy was right.
She hadn’t looked at herself properly in months. Ever since Adam died, she hadn’t cared.
She had lost weight, and her cheeks were narrower than they had been. So was her waist. Her eyes looked sad, even now.
“Are you ready?”
Betsy looked at her expectantly.
“Oh, yes, of course,” Haddie said.
She wasn’t entirely ready to do what she was doing. But would she ever really be ready?
Betsy led her back out into the grand living space. The ceiling was vaulted like a church, and she saw Jack standing beside a man in dark robes beside the mantlepiece. She supposed he was the minister.
The few people who were there whispered to one another, talking about her and how she looked.
“She’s a pretty girl, isn’t she? How did Jack find her?”
“Jack said she’s come all the way from Virginia. Poor girl, she left everything she knew behind.”
“I wonder if she likes baked apples…I brought those for the celebration dinner afterwards.”
She was glad that Katherine was sleeping, hoping that maybe she would sleep right through the ceremony. She didn’t imagine it would be very long.
What am I doing? I am walking down the aisle to marry another man just after having buried my husband months before. I am going to marry a man when I am still in love with the first?
She had made her choice, and she knew it was a wise one. Everyone had told her so, but still, she was nervous.
Haddie took a deep breath. This was the right thing to do. Jack was Sarah’s uncle, and she trusted Sarah. Haddie could even see some familiar resemblances between Jack and Sarah. In the way he looked at her, the way his mouth curved, the shape of his ears. She loved Sarah as much as she would her own sister, and she hoped that her kind spirit and compassion was a trait that ran in her family.
She took her place in front of Jack, whose eyes had never left her, and smiled up at him.
He offered a small smile in return, though it was tense and hesitant.
“Good afternoon, Haddie. I am Reverend Michaels.”
“Nice to meet you,” she said, her hands shaking as she held the bouquet in her hands.
“Are you ready to proceed with the ceremony?” the reverend asked.
“Yes,” she heard herself say.
Jack cleared his throat, his hands crossed in front of himself.
He seemed as nervous as she was.
The ceremony was short and to the point. There was no shared kiss at the end, only the exchanging of rings. She had cried when she had taken off the ring that Adam had given her, but she wore it on a chain around her neck.
A great meal took place afterwards at the long, hand-carved dining table. Haddie met a great many of the local people, and everyone was so kind to her. The food was excellent; she hadn’t realized how famished she had been. Katherine was passed around between every woman in the room, cooing and gurgling happily.
The only person she hardly spoke to, was her new husband. He seemed content to sit across from her at the table, a few of the other men sitting nearby. He certainly was a quiet individual. Perhaps it was as strange for him as it was for her, and he was just as lost at what to say as she was.
The night wound down, and everyone started to leave. Haddie thanked them all for coming, and Katherine yawned in her arms.
Jack, however, said very little. He thanked the reverend and thanked the guests for their attendance and gifts. When he closed the door, they were alone.
Haddie looked up into the face of her husband. A man whom she didn’t know. A complete stranger, sharing the most intimate relationship that two people could share.
“Well…” Haddie said, switching Katherine to her other hip. “That was a very nice evening.”
“Indeed,” Jack replied. He glanced out of the window. “I have to be up early. I am going to retire for the night…if you don’t mind.”
It is our first night of marriage, and he is going to go to bed so early?
“Oh,” Haddie said hastily. “Of course. Whatever you need to do.”
“Betsy showed you your room?” he asked.
Haddie nodded.
“Good.”
He started down the hall, turning down the opposite direction from her room.
“Well, good night, then,” Haddie called after him.
He didn’t reply.
She stared around, feeling suddenly very small in such a big house. How am I going to survive? How will I make it through?
Katherine started to grow fussy, apparently hungry after all the excitement.
Haddie moved to her room, listening to her footsteps echoing off the hall. Jack had disappeared entirely, and she wondered what he was thinking about all of this.
She certainly wasn’t sure what she herself was thinking about it all.
She discovered a desk in her room, and inside it, paper, a pen, and some ink. She laid Katherine down in her cradle and sat down in front of the letter she intended to write.
Dear Sarah,
I have arrived in Texas. The train ride was pleasant, if a bit uncomfortable. I was nervous the whole way. I hoped that Jack would take to Katherine and me.
We were greeted at the station by a nice woman named Betsy, who took us to the ranch. I finally met Jack! He is handsome, just as you said, but he certainly seems quieter than you let on. I do hope that we will have a chance to talk over the next few days. I am hoping that Katherine and I will be able to settle in quickly.
The house is beautiful. I have never seen anything like it. I will surely enjoy exploring all of the land that he owns.
The wedding ceremony was today, almost as soon as I arrived. It was rather nice. Simple. I didn’t want much fuss.
I must be honest, this is all very strange for me still. I am unsure what to think of it all. I feel as if I am being disloyal to Adam. I know he is gone, but I never thought this was how my life would end up.
I just hope that Katherine will be happy here. I think she will enjoy all of the animals and all of the fresh air. Everyone who lives in the town nearby is very kind. She might be able to go to school there when she is old enough.
As for me? Well, I don’t really know. I suppose we shall see what happens, won’t we?
I miss you very much. I do hope that you and Randall can find the time to come and visit us!
With all the love in my heart,
Haddie
She couldn’t bring herself to sign it with her new last name, Richards. It just didn’t feel right.
Not yet.
She sealed the letter and set it aside, ready to send off in the morning. She realized there was so much that she had to ask Jack about, so many things that she would have to relearn. Where did he keep his clothes? What sort of vegetables could she grow in Texas? What sort of foods did he like?
She dressed in her nightgown and laid down in her bed. Katherine slept soundly.
At least she was resting easily.
Haddie knew that she couldn’t expect everything to be figured out so early on. She would have liked to have spent the evening talking with Jack, but would she have known what to say?
Perhaps it was better that they gave each other some space.
She hoped that the next morning would bring new hope, new light to the situation. Surely, after sleeping on the fact that they were now married, they would both be grown adults and be able to begin the process of getting to know one another.
These sorts of things took time, Haddie was aware of tha
t.
But as she tried to fall asleep that night, all she could see in her mind was Adam’s face smiling, laughing, and holding Katherine close, the sunlight tangling with his hair.
She was crying before she even realized it.
4
Winter came and went, leaving behind a gray, dry world, not quite yet ready for spring. Jack kept complaining about how late it was in coming that year and how it would likely affect the harvest that next autumn. Haddie realized that she heard him speak of little else aside from the ranch. She supposed that was expected though. It was his livelihood, after all.
Haddie had taken to the chickens and the pigs that Jack had as well, and Katherine, when she learned to crawl just before Easter, enjoyed getting her hands dirty in the field right alongside the sheep dogs. Haddie found her days slow and repetitive. Katherine was becoming a handful, very curious and far more interested in things that she shouldn’t have been into.
But things were not at all what she had expected.
“Jack?” Haddie asked early one morning, scrubbing one of the plates from which he had just eaten.
“Eh?”
“What time will you be in for dinner?” she asked.
His brow furrowed. “I’ll be in when I’m in. Why?”
“I was hoping to prepare a special meal, and I wanted to have it ready as soon as you come home.”
“If I come in late, you can heat up my meal.”
“It’s just that—”
“What in the blazes are you making?” he asked.
She didn’t appreciate the condescension in his tone.
“Well, I was hoping to prepare a special meal for this evening,” Haddie said. “I was hoping that—”
“Don’t be so foolish,” Jack spat. “There’s no need to make anything special. The food you’ve made so far is fine.”
“Oh,” Haddie replied hastily. “I just thought it might be nice for us to spend an evening together. You have been down at the barn for so many nights.”
