Dogs and Goddesses

by Jennifer Crusie

  How do you know?

  “MY DOG TOLD ME.”

  Abby smiled and Daisy nodded, and Shar knew, as the voice within her knew, that tomorrow the power that was in Abby now would be out in the universe, gathering the stars into the sunrise, the power that was in Daisy now would go out and spin it into the heat of the day, and at night the power that was in Shar would go out and shatter it into stars again. It wasn’t theirs; it was part of everything. They were only drawing on it now.

  But they had descended from it and it was their birthright.

  EVERYTHING IS A CIRCLE, the voice within them said.

  “THEN WHAT LIVES, DIES, AND LIVES AGAIN,” Shar said, and as Abby and Daisy came to stand with her over Sam, Shar looked down at him, inside the glow of their circle, and Abby said, “RISE!” and Daisy said, “RISE!” and Shar said, “RISE, DAMN IT,” and released their power.

  And the glow snapped, and it was just them in the temple again.

  Shar held her breath for a long minute, and then Sam stirred.

  She fell to her knees as Christopher limped over to Abby and said, “I believe you.”

  “Sam?” Shar said, her voice high as Noah moved in the corner and Daisy ran to his side, helping him up.

  Sam opened his eyes, his face creased with effort.

  “Oh, god.” Shar pulled the knife out of his heart and threw it from them and then wrapped her arms around him, holding him as close as she could.

  “Ouch,” he said, and she kissed him, dying in the warm taste of his mouth, breathing again, while Wolfie pawed at them and Milton yipped and shook all over. “Usually they take the knife out before they raise me,” he said, trying to sit up. “Not that I’m complaining, but—”

  “I thought I’d lost you forever,” she sobbed as she helped him upright. “I thought—”

  “I’ll always come back to you.” Sam held her tight as he looked around. “How many months was I gone?”

  “Fifteen minutes, tops,” Abby said. “Things move fast these days. Although it was long enough to scare us.”

  Daisy led Noah over to the group, smiling her gratitude as she said in a choked voice, “Yeah, don’t pull that shit again, Sam.”

  “Love you,” Wolfie said, trying to worm his way between Sam and Shar. “LOVE YOU FOREVER!”

  “Love you forever,” Milton said, scrabbling at his side.

  “Hey.” Sam scooped up Milton and rubbed Wolfie’s head as Shar moved back a little to let them in. “How you doin’, boys?” He looked around the temple again and said, “Kammani?”

  “Gone,” Shar said. “To wherever she belongs. If we did it right, she’s explaining things to Ereshkigal.”

  Sam nodded. “Who’s the new kid?”

  “New kid?” Shar turned around and saw a black Mesopotamian Temple Dog standing by the altar. “Oh.”

  “Traitors,” the dog said, and pawed at the ground while Mort stood off to one side, a speculative look in his eye.

  “What’s it doing?” Daisy said, frowning at it.

  “It’s trying to make a fist,” Abby said grimly.

  “Mina?” Shar said.

  Abby looked at Mina sternly. “Bad dog.”

  Daisy nodded. “Yeah. Bitch.”

  “You will die screaming!” Mina said, and then stopped to scratch behind her ear.

  Shar looked at Abby and Daisy.

  Abby shrugged.

  Daisy said, “It’s official. The universe has a sense of humor.”

  “Is that what that voice was?” Abby said.

  Sam stood up, wincing, and pulled Shar to her feet. “I’m hungry. I need a steak. It was fast, but I think I still lost some …” He looked at all the blood splashed down the steps onto the floor. “Two steaks.”

  “That’s it?” Shar said, holding on to him like a vise. “You died, we blew Kammani into nothingness, you rose, Mina’s a dog, and now you’re hungry?”

  “Man’s gotta eat.” Sam slung his arm around her shoulders. “And I really fucking hate this temple.” He kissed her on the forehead and she loosened her grip.

  He was alive. Miracles.

  Or not miracles. That voice …

  Sam bent to pick up Milton as Wolfie pressed close to his leg. Squash came up and nudged him, and he patted her, and then Bowser came by and butted him gently to get a head scratch and Bailey leapt in front of him, saying,

  “Welcome back! Welcome back!” as Bikka and Umma danced around him.

  “Out of here,” Wolfie whined, and Sam moved toward the door, careful not to step on anybody.

  “I could use a steak,” Christopher said, limping beside him. “And a primer on exactly what Abby is when her eyes go like that.”

  Noah clapped Sam on the shoulder as they went to the door. “Thanks for saving me, man. Sorry you got killed.”

  “You get used to it,” Sam said, and the three men went toward the door surrounded by the dogs.

  Shar looked around one more time, at the altar, the bas-relief—“Oh my god.”

  The relief was gone, smashed on the floor in front of a very old, roughly hewn wall. Painted on it in dark reddish brown were three women joined into one at the hip, the first stretching her arms to catch something round that might be the sun, the second spreading her arms out across the sky to encompass flower shapes, and the third pulling her arms down, scratches like stars around her. At their feet, dogs leapt and played—

  “That’s our mural,” Abby said, coming to stand beside her. “That’s what our mural at the coffeehouse looked like. Except ours was, you know, pretty.”

  “That’s Al-Lat, right?” Daisy said. “The One who began it all?”

  “I think so,” Shar said.

  “She was in our heads at the end,” Daisy said. “And She was pissed at Kammani,” Abby said. “Did we wake Her up?”

  “This was Her temple first,” Shar said, staring at a mural she must have seen ten thousand years ago in another life. No, as another goddess. “Kammani must have taken the temple from her. Sam said Al-Lat walked among mortals as three sisters and lost her power. She’s been walled up here, and then—oh, hell, we called on her. The Great Goddess Who is Three. Kammani took her power and walled up her symbol, but we played with our powers and stirred her dreams and then we called her awake and the wall fell.” She looked around the temple, straining to find Al-Lat.

  “She’s gone now,” Abby said, sounding a little sad. “I can’t hear Her anymore, and you guys aren’t using god-speak. Does that mean our powers are gone?”

  Shar looked at Daisy, who shrugged and said, “I can’t hear Her, either.”

  “Maybe we burned the powers out,” Shar said. “Maybe She took them back. It’s better that way. We’re not really goddess material, anyway. We want mortal lives …” She looked toward the door where Sam was waiting for her. “Mortal men.”

  The little black Temple Dog stared at them malevolently.

  “My goddess will return,” Mina growled. “And she will have her vengeance!”

  “Huh,” Daisy said. “You have Snausage breath.”

  “I do not fear you,” Mina said. “I am Death!”

  “Death in a flea collar,” Abby said. “We’re not impressed.”

  “I will regain my form,” Mina said, “and then I will end you!”

  She turned and walked away toward the door where the other dogs barked at her, her tiny butt swaying insolently.

  The Three stepped closer, side by side, and Shar felt the click inside her and smiled.

  “STAY,” Abby said, and Mina stopped.

  “COME,” Daisy said, and Mina turned and came toward them, malevolence in her beady little eyes as Daisy held up her hand to stop the pack from coming, too.

  “SIT,” Shar said when Mina reached them, and Mina sat, and the pack sat, and the guys looked like they were considering it.

  “YOU WILL NOT KILL AGAIN,” Abby said to Mina.

  “NOT IN ANY WAY WILL YOU HARM ANOTHER LIVING THING,” Daisy said.

&nb
sp; “OR WE WILL END YOU,” Shar said.

  Mina sat for a moment, her eyes glittering with hate, and then she put her paws out and her head down, bowing in submission.

  “So,” Shar said, feeling much better about everything.

  “That was fun,” Daisy said.

  “Now what do we do with her?” Abby said. “We can’t let her run wild. She might get hit by a car.” She looked down at Mina. “I think that would be bad.”

  “I’ll take her,” Shar said, knowing she had to. “Wolfie and Umma will kick her ass if she gets out of line.”

  “So we’re … done here?” Abby said, eyeing the room again nervously.

  Daisy looked around. “Granny Al-Lat?”

  “Do not call her again,” Shar said, and headed for the door and Sam.

  In the light of dawn, the burned-out coffeehouse didn’t look so bad to Abby. “We can get some plywood to cover the window as soon as the stores open,” Christopher said to Sam. “The damage isn’t that bad. We can get this place up and running in less than a week.” He looked at Abby. “Unless there’s a goddess HGTV we don’t know about.”

  We. It had a wonderful sound, but Abby wasn’t quite sure she could believe it. She stood in the street outside the broken window, staring at it, and Christopher came over to stand beside her. She was covered with mud and soot, and she could barely keep herself upright. She turned to him, and he was looking at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world, and she went straight into his arms.

  He smelled like soot, too, and she burrowed her face against his shoulder, breathing in the safety and wonder that was her pedantic math genius. “You believe me now?” she said as his arms came around her, holding her.

  “I believe you,” he said. “It’s impossible and illogical, but that’s one thing you learn in math. Impossible things happen all the time. You just have to figure out the logic.”

  “Let me know when that happens, would you?” she said sleepily.

  “Bed,” Bowser barked.

  “Yes, we’re going to bed,” she said. She pulled back a little, looking up into Christopher’s clear blue eyes. “Are we?”

  “I need a shower and clean clothes. We both do.”

  She didn’t protest. “Okay.”

  “I don’t have any clean clothes here,” he continued.

  “Very logical,” she said, starting to pull away from him, determined not to cry.

  “So I think we should go back to my house and take a shower together, and then we’ll come back to the coffeehouse and come up with a plan. I don’t think it’s going to take that much—the damage wasn’t that bad. And … what?” he asked, puzzled. “Why are you crying?”

  “Because I thought you changed your mind,” she said, snuffling against his damp, sooty shirt. “I thought you wanted to leave me and go back home alone. And it’s been a tough night and I need you!” she wailed.

  He cupped her face with his hands, his thumbs gently brushing her lips. “I’m not going anywhere without you. I told you, I love you. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried. You get me, my bad temper, my house, and if you’re really lucky, you might get my voice-in-my-head as well. Unless banishing Kammani got rid of him.”

  She smiled up at him, as a sense of well-being, more powerful than any goddess hooch, filled her. “Milki’s probably gone.”

  “The hell I am!” an ancient, cranky voice said. And Bowser began to howl.

  Daisy stepped into the courtyard, Bailey darted out to mark all the foliage, and Squash went into one of the doghouses to lie down. She watched them both for a moment, amazed at how different her life had become in so short a time. She’d always had relatives, but she’d never had family, and the thought of her dogs and her goddesses gave her a sense of peace like she’d never felt before. Her limbs were still buzzing from the power she’d wielded with Abby and Shar, and as she walked out to the middle of the courtyard and stared up at the bright morning sky, she felt as though anything was possible. When the doors opened and shut behind her and she turned to see Noah standing there, watching her, she hoped she was right.

  “Hey,” he said after a moment.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Noah!” Bailey barked, then went back to peeing on some weeds that looked like they’d been peed on enough. Squash raised her head from the doghouse, yawned in greeting, and lowered her head again.

  Noah nodded at the dogs, hesitated a moment, and walked over to stand next to Daisy, his face lifted to the sky. “Anything interesting up there?”

  “Not really.” The idea of small talk exhausted her, so she turned to face him. “I’m sorry.”

  He looked surprised. “What for?”

  “For not believing in you,” she said. “For accusing you of … oh, hell, everything.”

  “Forget it,” he said. “You just saved the world. You get a pass.”

  “I don’t,” she said. “I was suspicious and self-centered, and you helped me save the world, so no, I don’t get a pass.”

  “Ah.” He touched his neck, still marked with Kammani’s handprint. “So my getting my ass kicked helped you? Glad to hear it.”

  “Stop it,” she said. “You gave me that chant, even when I was being a total ass, and you came here when you thought I was in trouble and you believed in me and—”

  “All right,” he said, raising his hand. “Enough, okay? I did what anyone would do. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

  Daisy’s stomach tightened. “Oh. Right.” She wrapped her arms around herself and tried to keep the tears from coming, but it had been a hell of a night, turning into a hell of a day, and Noah would have done what he did for anybody. It wasn’t about her. She wasn’t special.

  He didn’t love her, and the sooner she accepted that, the better.

  “Hey,” he said, moving closer, angling his head to look at her. “Are you okay?”

  She sniffed. “Who? Me? Great.” She swiped at her eyes.

  “Daisy,” he said. “Look at me.”

  “No,” she squeaked.

  “Daisy,” he said again, and she stomped her foot and raised her head, unable to hide her tears from him.

  “There,” she said. “Happy?”

  He looked down at her, his eyes full of something she couldn’t read—neighborly concern, probably—and he pulled her into his arms, which only made the pain in her chest more intense.

  “Hey,” he said, smoothing his hand down over her hair. “It’s okay. It’s over. You won.”

  “Agh!” she said, pushing away from him. “This isn’t about Kammani.”

  “What’s it about, then?” he asked.

  “I love you,” she said. “That’s what it’s about.”

  Noah stared at her, frozen where he was, and Daisy sighed.

  “Look, it’s fine,” Daisy said, swiping at her face, trying to regain her dignity. “I blew it. I get it. I was horrible and selfish and I didn’t know what I had when I had it. And I don’t want you to feel bad for not loving me back, you know, because that’s okay. But I think, maybe you should go, because I just can’t …” Her voice went high and tight and warbly “… I can’t be around you right now.”

  But he didn’t go. He stayed right where he was.

  “You love me?” he asked.

  “Yes.” Yeesh, pour salt on the wound, why don’t you? “Bye.”

  “No,” he said. “Christ, Daisy, you don’t just tell me you love me and then ask me to leave. Give me a minute to—”

  “I can’t,” Daisy said, sniffling. “I’m tired and I just banished a bitch goddess and my apartment smells like smoke and as much as I’d like to make you feel better for not loving me back, I’m a little beat right now. I need to go upstairs and run a bubble bath and listen to Joni Mitchell, and I can’t do that unless you—”

  “Oh, god, shut up,” Noah said, and pulled her into his arms and kissed her, long and full, then released her. “Can I talk now?”

  “Uh-huh,” Daisy said, nodding.


  “Good,” he said. “I love you, too. Idiot.”

  Daisy sniffled. “You do?”

  “Yes. You’re this frustrating little bundle of crazy, and you think too much without talking, and you talk too much without listening, but mostly you …” He shook his head and released a breath, his eyes softening as he smiled at her. “Mostly, you amaze me. And that was before you got all glowy with your girlfriends and saved the world.”

  Happiness spread tingly warmth through her entire body, and Daisy smiled. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah,” he said, then leaned down and kissed her again, making her feel happy and complete and suddenly not exhausted at all.

  “Happy Daisy!”

  Daisy pulled back from Noah and looked down to see Bailey dancing around them, barking like mad while Squash merely lifted her head from her resting space in the sunny corner of the courtyard.

  “Happy Daisy! Happy Daisy!”

  “What’s he saying?” Noah asked.

  “He’s saying that we should go upstairs and run that bath,” Daisy said.

  Noah broke out in a grin. “Really? He’s saying all that?”

  “He’s a really smart dog,” Daisy said, and took Noah’s hand to lead him to the stairs to her apartment, where she showed him just how good being loved by a goddess could be.

  Shar and Sam put Wolfie, Milton, Umma, Bikka, Mina, and Mort in the backseat of Sam’s SUV and got into the front. Then Shar grabbed Sam’s arm and said, “Don’t you ever do that again.”

  Sam looked at her as if she were an idiot. “What are the chances?”

  Shar swallowed. “I know. But I just want you to know that if you try to die to save the world again, I’m coming to the underworld to get you. And it’s not going to be pretty when I find you.” She looked at him, trying not to cry now that everything was over but crying anyway. “You were going to go back there with her to save us. I’d never have seen you again. I can’t …” She swallowed back tears.

  “You’d have seen me again,” Sam said. “I’d have found you. Don’t cry.”

  “Can we go now?” Wolfie barked.

  “Go now?” Milton barked.

  “Somebody’s going to pay for this,” Mina snarled.

  “Silence, fiend of hell,” Umma growled.