Nightshift

by Kate Douglas

  “It was a long time ago. It—”

  “Don’t say it doesn’t matter.” Her fingers tightened on his jaw. “It does matter.”

  “Yeah. It does matter. She mattered. A lot.” He closed his eyes and turned his head away. Kira was the last person in the world he wanted to talk to about this. Or was she? Perhaps she deserved to know. Perhaps it would push her away and keep him from doing something stupid, like asking her to stay with him, to keep this amazing thing they had going for as long as possible. Forever. But forever hadn’t lasted long before, had it? He swallowed and told the bald truth. “I loved her and she died.”

  “How?”

  His stomach heaved and he pinched his eyes shut tighter, unable to look at Kira while he told her about the other woman who’d meant the world to him. So long ago. He’d been so young, so cocksure, so damn foolish. He shook his head and snorted. “It was stupid. We had some leave time and we went up to Yosemite to climb Half Dome. She was a Marine, too, and she knew what she was doing, so it was just us, cutting loose and doing something fun. It wasn’t supposed to be dangerous. She was right behind me and she just ... slipped. She was there one second and then she was gone.” He pressed his fingers to his burning eyelids. “It was just ... stupid. She shouldn’t have died. If she’d been Between, she wouldn’t have died. The fall would have hurt her, but it wouldn’t have killed her.”

  “You wish you had made her Between.”

  “Yes. No.” He dropped his hand to meet her gaze. “Hell, I don’t know. I’ve gone over it in my mind a million times, and I wish she’d been Between so she’d have lived, but ... we weren’t in a place yet where I could tell her the truth, where I could even consider changing her.”

  Her fingers stroked down his jaw, his neck, and his shoulder. Her touch was soothing, her expression understanding. She should be pushing him away; instead she cuddled closer. “The potential was there, though.”

  “Yeah. The potential was there.” He sighed, and the sound was weary. He should have known the truth wouldn’t scare her. Not Kira. They had that in common, the two women he’d loved. The thought should have terrified him, but it didn’t. He ached from the inside out. “I’ll always wonder what might have happened with us if she’d survived.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too.”

  “It wasn’t your fault, you know.” She pressed a kiss to his jaw.

  He shook his head, unwilling to absolve himself so easily. “I should have been watching her. I should have taken better care of her.”

  An impatient noise escaped from his little fox. “She was a trained Marine, you said. You couldn’t have known what would happen.”

  “We were goofing off. I was being irresponsible. She died.”

  Irresponsible. The word his father had used to describe him more times than he could ever count. Irresponsible, the disappointment, the son who would never behave like a real prince, who didn’t want to take a hand in ruling his people. Useless. Except when it came to making sure people ended up dead.

  As much as his father had always been at loggerheads with Elan, at least they’d understood each other. They hadn’t agreed on how affairs should be run, but they both wanted to have their fingers in the pie, they both wanted to be running the show. Not Max. Max was the one whose only talent was as an enforcer, a thug, a weapon.

  “You’re not irresponsible.”

  He shrugged, letting his hand drift in circles over her flat belly. “I’m good at my job.”

  “That’s not all you’re good at.”

  A snort erupted from him. “Yeah, sex. I’m good at that. I’ve had a lot of practice.” Favoring her with a slow smile, he moved his hand down to slip into the soft hair between her legs. “But one can never be too skilled, right?”

  She gave him a look that said she wasn’t going to let him off the hook. “You’re a great friend, Max. You’re an amazing brother. You’re a good boss. You’re not a great prince, but you don’t need to be. That doesn’t make you irresponsible.”

  Bending over her, he licked each of her nipples in turn. “I never say the right thing.”

  The shiver that passed through her made him grunt in pleasure. He loved her reactions. She began to writhe as he pressed his fingers into her sex. “But you do the right thing, and you make up for it when you realize you’ve put your foot in your mouth again.”

  “Again.”

  “Yeah, again. So what?” She parted her legs and lifted her hips for him to tease her sex. He rubbed his thumb over her clit, and her legs jolted, her knees rising to clasp around his forearm. She licked her lips, her auburn brows drawing together as she struggled to focus. “How long are you going to let your dad’s bullshit color your view of yourself? You told Elan to knock that off, so why can’t you take your own advice?”

  He paused in his movements. “Because ...”

  “Because you don’t think he was wrong about you.” She nudged his arm with her upraised knee.

  His finger began stroking up and down her slit, drawing her moisture from her core to her clitoris. “No, I don’t.” He spoke slowly, unable to deny that his father’s view of him had helped cement his own. “I was fourteen the first time I killed a man.”

  “I remember. You saved your father from being assassinated.” Knees clamping on his arm, she stopped him again. Her hand bracketed his chin so he had to look at her. Whatever she saw in his gaze made her shake her head and snort in disgust. “Only King Phillip could make having two strong, capable sons a bad thing. You know what his problem was? He was jealous of you both. You’re better men than he could ever be, and deep down he knew it.”

  A wry grin touched his lips. Hardly. “Elan maybe, not me.”

  “Yes, Max. You.” She poked his chest, scowling up at him. “You have the strength to do what needs doing, no matter what it costs you personally, in order to protect what matters most to you. You’re not a murderer. You don’t kill indiscriminately.”

  “A tool to be used. A thug.”

  The fox growled. “Those are your father’s words. Not mine. Not Elan’s. Not anyone who knows you.”

  “I killed my mother.” God, that hurt to say. He didn’t think he’d ever voiced it out loud. His father had, many times. After he’d stopped the assassin in his teens and especially after he’d joined the Marines.

  “What?” The utter shock on Kira’s face made him wince. “Oh, my God. That is such bullshit. That is so like your father. Think about it, Max. You were an infant. She died in childbirth. It was a tragic accident. And your girlfriend’s death was a tragic accident. There is nothing you could have done to save either woman. Don’t let Phillip’s endless crap twist you up so much that you can’t separate his issues from your job or from your mom’s and Michelle’s accidental deaths.”

  He stared at her silently for long moments as he let that sink in. He swallowed, but still said nothing. Shit. She was right. He’d let Michelle’s death justify everything his father had ever said about him while he was growing up. But he knew his father thrived on controlling everything and everyone around him—Max had easily seen how his father’s selfishness had hurt Elan and had, in fact, led to his father’s suicide. Only a lion got to be king, and when he’d forced the Between into human awareness, he’d stopped shifting into a lion. Elan had become the lion, the king. His father couldn’t handle it, and the shame had made him take his own life. What an ass. And Max had based his understanding of his own worth on that. But how could his father’s opinion not matter to a young boy?

  None of that brought Michelle back, or assuaged his guilt at her death. Had there been anything he could have done? He didn’t know. He’d never know. Even then, he couldn’t change it.

  “You’re a good man, Max. Better than your father ever managed to be. Work and sex aren’t the only things you excel at, and anyone who knows you would agree with me.” Kira stroked a fingertip over his lower lip. “I get that we all have masks we show the world, but you’re not a care
free princeling and you’re not a stone-cold killer. The truth isn’t that simple, but it’s there if people bother to look.” She pulled his head down and brushed her lips over his. “I see you.”

  Wrapping one arm around her, he jerked her under him and stopped the painful conversation in the most enjoyable way he knew. She opened her lips for his tongue, kissing him just as fiercely as he kissed her. Her passion always rose to match his, and when it came to her, he was insatiable.

  Forcing his thigh between hers, he shoved her legs wide and mounted her. Hands clutching at his back, he felt the bite of her talons into his skin. He growled, the wolf ripping loose the way he rarely allowed with other women. But this was Kira. Kira, who knew all his secrets. Kira, who understood every part of him, good and bad. Kira, who’d never turn away from the darkness that lived inside him because of all the things his profession made him do. She had the same relentless need to defend and protect.

  It was no wonder he loved her.

  His chest tightened with emotion until he could barely breathe, and still he kissed her. He couldn’t stop—he needed her now. He’d never get his fill of her, and he didn’t want to. He poured everything he could never say into the kiss, mating his mouth to hers. She whimpered against his lips, her claws raking down his sides and her legs cinching around his waist to urge him onward.

  Not yet. Not yet. He needed more. He needed this to last for as long as possible.

  Slipping his fingers into the short silken strands of her hair, he pulled her head back so he could lick and suck his way down her long neck. His fangs nipped at the spot at the base of her throat that he knew made her squirm.

  “I want you, Max.” She moaned when he dug his fangs in deeper. “Max!”

  Her cry of his name echoed in his head, her demand as much mental as verbal. He couldn’t resist her. Reaching between them, he grasped his cock and guided himself to the slick opening of her pussy. She rubbed herself against him in shameless abandon, her nipples sliding against his chest and her sex dampening the head of his cock.

  Driving partway into her, he withdrew and she moaned a protest. He pushed back in, deeper this time, and pulled back, thrusting still deeper every time until he was hilted inside her. She clung to him, and he reveled in the feel of her. Her satin skin, her inner moisture that welcomed him. He sealed himself against her, grinding his pelvis into her clit.

  “Yes! Oh, my God!” Her back bowed and her claws raked down his flesh. He winced at the sting, a growl soughing from his throat. Her heels dug into the backs of his thighs. “Harder. Faster. I need ... I’m going to ...”

  Damn, but the woman got to him. He laughed and gave her exactly what she wanted. Bracing his hands on either side of her, he rose above her and used the extra leverage to fuck her hard. Ecstasy rocketed through his system as he let loose. Ramming deep into her pussy with every thrust, he took them both to the very edge in moments.

  “This is so fucking good.” Sweat slipped down his back, and he moved faster and faster, anything to keep this sensation going. Gazing down at her, he could see her eyes losing focus, a faint silver light glowing beneath her skin as her cries grew louder. He pounded into her, knowing he wouldn’t last, knowing nothing this perfect could ever last. The scent of her passion was one he’d never forget, locked into his memory for all the days of his life. Seeing her like this was as close to heaven as a man like him would ever get. Her sex pulsed around his dick once, and he could sense how close she was. “Come for me, Kira.”

  Her muscles locked tight on him, her pussy flexing in waves around his cock as she climaxed. The feral side of his nature wanted to take, to claim. The wolf wanted to be in command. Silver swirled around the arms he had bracketing her body, and he felt change riding him as he rode her. He fought it, raced it, and flung himself toward orgasm.

  He threw his head back, a howl ripping free as he jetted hard inside her. He hadn’t come that close to shifting during sex since he was a teen. It would have been embarrassing, but he was too spent to care. She’d wrung everything from him, and he collapsed on top of her. He felt her arms come around him, and something deep within him loosened and gave way.

  “Kira, I ...” He paused, not certain how to say what he wanted to say, not even certain what he wanted to say.

  “Yeah?” Her voice was smoky with sleep, her limbs falling open and away from him as her breathing deepened into that of slumber.

  He’d never know now what he would have said. An affectionate smile formed on his mouth as he stroked her hair away from her face. For a long while, he just watched her sleep. His chest squeezed tight, and it was the most amazing moment of his life. Unlike the last time he’d fallen in love, this time he didn’t take it for granted. Nothing lasted forever, so now he was old enough and mature enough to appreciate it.

  He’d just never thought he’d fall again. He hadn’t wanted it, had run from any inkling of it since Michelle had died, but with Kira, it had built so gradually that he hadn’t noticed until it was too late. The woman owned his soul now.

  Whether he ever got up the courage to tell her was another matter entirely.

  Saying it somehow made it more real, made it undeniable that he could lose Kira as easily as he had lost Michelle. But there had been sides of him Michelle had never seen because she’d been human. For better or for worse, part of his relationship with her had always been a lie. Not with Kira. As she’d said, she saw him. She saw through the masks he wore for the world. She knew him for what he really was, just the way he knew her. The prospect of having her, really having her and admitting that to lose her was to lose a part of himself, was more than he could handle.

  Maybe someday he could get to a place where he believed it could last, where love was something safe to feel. Maybe. Someday.

  But not yet.

  6

  Everything was still up in the air.

  Kira’s insides churned as she escorted Rhiannon and Elan out to the waiting helicopter. Max kept pace beside her, close enough that she could feel the heat of his skin, but the distance between them was painful. They didn’t look at each other, didn’t speak, didn’t share thoughts.

  It was over, just as they’d promised each other. This morning was the last time she’d wake up in his bed.

  The pain of it shredded her, and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it. Except put on that professional mask her father had valued so highly and get on with her life.

  But, God, it hurt. She didn’t know if it would ever stop hurting.

  Movement flickered at the corner of her vision. It was just a subtle flash of light from a distance hillside, but every instinct inside her screamed.

  She didn’t stop, didn’t think. She simply reacted, launching herself forward to knock Rhiannon to the ground and shield the other woman with her body. The breath rushed out of her lungs when they hit the ground hard, and pain exploded from her side and shot straight to her brain. The sound of gunfire roared, Max howled in lupine rage, and in a twist of silver light, the huge red wolf was in pursuit of the gunman.

  “Move, Rhiannon!” Hauling them both into a crouch, Kira hustled Rhiannon toward the helo.

  More shots rang out, and huge holes ripped into the side of the helicopter. Fifty-caliber bullets and someone who knew how to use a long-range rifle.

  Fuck.

  One look was all it took for Kira to know that bird wasn’t getting off the ground any time soon, despite the spinning propellers. Pushing Rhiannon around to the front, she scuttled under the nose of the helo to take cover on the far side. Elan, thankfully, was one step behind them.

  The pilot bailed out of the cockpit and hit the pavement beside them just as the huge window exploded and rained glass down on them.

  “Oh, my God. You’re bleeding, Kira. You’re bleeding.” Wildness flashed in Rhiannon’s eyes, and she panted for breath.

  Kira ignored her, barking at the pilot. “How fast can you get one of the other helos off the ground? The king and queen need to
be evacuated now!”

  The man pointed. “That one’s prepped and ready, I just need to get to it.”

  A bullet slammed into the propeller above them and the sound of rending metal sent chills down Kira’s spine. A quick upward glance confirmed that the thing was going to snap any second. “We’re going have to make a run for it.”

  Elan and Rhiannon both made sounds of protest. Rhiannon shook her head, her hair whipping into her face. “No, Kira. You’re—”

  “No time to argue, Majesties. Let’s move out!” Wrapping her hand around Rhiannon’s bicep, Kira dragged her into a run. A whistling crash told her the propeller had given way. Keep your heads down!

  She sent the telepathic thought as widely as possible, hoping all her Guards remained safe. Bullets slammed into the pavement as they sprinted forward, spraying debris that sliced into her flesh. Her heart hammered and pain ricocheted through her with every pounding footstep. Three yards to go, two, one. Their pilot clambered into the cockpit with another pilot who was already there. Kira ducked below the spinning propeller and stuffed Rhiannon into the back. Elan crawled inside with them and shoved the door closed.

  “Take off, now!” Kira followed the order with a mental command, hitting the pilots on every possible level. They jerked in their seats, but obeyed her as all Guards had been trained to do. In moments, they were in the air, winging away from the cabin.

  Rhiannon knelt on the floor in front of her, tugging at Kira’s clothes.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Kira grabbed for the other woman’s hands, trying to direct her into the next seat. Her grip didn’t seem to be as tight as it should, and her voice sounded weak, but she pushed that away. It didn’t matter. “Get up here and put your seat belt on.”

  “You’re bleeding,” Rhiannon snarled. She wrenched the bottom of Kira’s wet shirt up.

  It was only then that the agony hit her, a cry jerking out of her at Rhiannon’s rough treatment. Kira gritted her teeth and rode out the pain. “Shit.”