Morgan’s Mercenaries: Heart of the Jaguar

by Lindsay McKenna

  Houston scraped his chair back and stood up, resting his hips against the counter and wrapping his arms against his chest, caught up in that bloody nightmare from the past. “I had intended to capture Escovar’s wife and children. To hold them hostage to force him to move out of Peru once and for all. And then I was going to return them to him, unharmed.” Grimly, Mike lowered his gaze to Ann’s pale face. “We caught the family fleeing in a car about ten miles from Escovar’s fortress. Everything went wrong. Instead of capturing them alive, we saw them all killed in a terrible accident.

  “The driver went around a mountain curve too fast and he rolled the car carrying Escovar’s family over a five-hundred-foot dropoff. They all died instantly. There was nothing we could do to save them…and God knows, we tried.” His mouth hardened with the memory. “Escovar saw their deaths as me getting even with him for killing my own family. That’s when he leveled the ten-million-sol reward on my head. Ever since then, we’ve been in this death spiral dance with one another. He wants me.” Houston’s voice lowered to a growl. “I’m going to get him first.”

  A chill worked its way up Ann’s spine as she saw the harshness return to Houston’s face. Helplessly she opened her hands and whispered, “What an awful tragedy.”

  “I understand from Morgan you haven’t had it easy, either,” Mike said.

  Ann winced. “He told you about my family?”

  “No…he didn’t. He only mentioned you’d suffered a great deal.” Mike saw the devastation in Ann’s eyes and the tears she tried to hold back. He hated hurting her like this, but they had to get their cards laid out on the table. Ann had to know the truth about him and why she could not continue to care for him. She had to know that loving him would be her death warrant.

  “I was an only child, Mike. My parents lived in Washington, D.C. I was working with Perseus and Morgan for two years going on missions around the Caribbean. Ramirez, a drug lord from Colombia, infiltrated our organization and quietly targeted many of Perseus members’ families, including mine.” She saw Houston’s eyes narrow. Her voice became strained as she forced the words out. “Ramirez had hit men kill my parents in cold blood. They were absolutely innocent. The police found them in their home in Fairfax, Virginia, when a phone call was made to the precinct an hour after they were executed. I was out on a mission halfway around the world when it happened. At the same time, Morgan, his wife and son were all kidnapped. One of the other mercs broke the news to me in a phone call.”

  “Damn,” Mike rasped. “I’m sorry, Ann.” He wanted to go over and comfort her. Simply hold her because the grief in her large blue-gray eyes tore at him.

  “Some days I’m still not over it, Mike. It suddenly feels like yesterday and all the grief comes rolling back over me. And the anger…” Ann raised her head, his obvious pain for her blanketing her. “So you see, we share a common background with our families being murdered by drug lords. How long ago did you lose your family?”

  “Five years,” he answered flatly. “And like you, there are days when it feels like yesterday, and other times it seems like a bad dream with no pain or grief attached to it at all. Everyone told me that over time, the pain would lessen, and it has. But not the memory of what happened.”

  “Morgan, Laura and their son, Jason, were kidnapped,” Ann murmured. “But, as you know, with the help of the Peruvian government, you and your men, and one of our mercs, Ramirez and his gang were put out of action—permanently.”

  “Yeah, I remember that. I worked with that merc, Culver Lachlan. He’s up in a village in the highlands, married to that Peruvian ex-government agent, Pilar Martinez, who helped him get to Ramirez. They’re friends of mine, and I keep in touch with them because Escovar is trying to regain Ramirez’s old territory from the villagers in that area. He’s killing people up there right now, to make ‘examples’ of them.”

  “And it’s your job to stop him.”

  Houston nodded and allowed his tense arms to fall to his sides. Seeing the compassion on Ann’s face made him feel raw. This time, she wasn’t trying to hide anything from him, and he was glad.

  “Want another cup?” he asked huskily, pointing to the espresso machine.

  “No…no, thanks, Mike.”

  Somehow, he felt better talking to Ann about his past. It took the edge off his rage, which was never too far beneath the surface when it came to discussing Eduardo Escovar and what he’d done to utterly destroy Mike’s life.

  “I have to leave soon,” he said, glancing at his watch again. “I don’t want to, but I have to, Ann.”

  Terror ate at her as she studied the expressionless mask that had descended over his features now. She was beginning to understand that Mike had been shielding a lot from her. “Are you afraid that because I’m at the clinic, Escovar might attack, since he knows I’m with Perseus?”

  “I’m afraid,” Mike rasped, “that if Escovar thinks there’s something going on between us, he’d gladly make a raid on the clinic to kidnap you. Then he’d kill you to get even with me. Or if he found me hanging around the clinic because of you once too often, he might decide that church property wasn’t sacred any longer, and might come in and kill everyone there.” Frowning, Mike muttered, “I don’t want to take that risk.”

  Coloring, Ann fumbled with the cup in front of her. “I understand.”

  Heaving a sigh, Mike stared down at his large, scarred hands. “There’s more to tell, Ann. About a year ago, I fell in love with a norteamericana woman, an official at the U.S. Embassy. Her name was Tracy. I was very careful about protecting her—us—what we had developing between us. We never went out in public to eat or anything like that. We kept a very low profile. Escovar found out about it, anyway. The Peruvian government is riddled with moles and word leaked out.” Mike held Ann’s startled gaze. “Tracy was killed in a car bomb explosion right outside her apartment one morning when she was going to work.”

  “God….” Ann croaked.

  “You aren’t going to see much of me at all for that reason, Ann. The people I love get killed because of me. I don’t want to put you, my friends or my granny nuns into that position, ever.” His mouth turned into a suffering line of barely withheld emotions. “The war between Escovar and me has escalated, and anyone who is dear to me will be destroyed. It’s a real black-and-white situation.”

  Suddenly cold, Ann got up and moved slowly around the kitchen. She felt chaos inside herself. Grief mixed with yearning. Sadness entwined with an ache deep within her. She understood her feelings—she needed Mike and wanted to pursue their relationship. But she could love him, only to lose him. Or die herself, in the line of fire. The look on Mike’s face said it all; his suffering was plainly, hauntingly visible on his craggy features. For a moment, she thought she saw moisture in his eyes, but in the next second it was gone. She was probably seeing things again.

  Taking a deep breath, she whispered, “So, this is goodbye, isn’t it? I won’t see you while I’m working over at the clinic?”

  Mike watched her halt midway from the table, her arms wrapped around herself, looking terribly abandoned—and it was his fault. Turning around, he murmured, “It has to be this way.” His heart was crying out for her, but his head wished she would take the next flight out of Lima and go home to safety. He wasn’t sure he could stand losing another woman he cared about to Escovar. Somehow, Mike understood that Ann was his life even though he was pushing her away. If she died…Pain gutted him just thinking about it.

  Ann saw gold flecks in Houston’s stormy-looking eyes. She felt awful. And angry. And sad. She didn’t want Mike to walk out of her life forever, but fear kept her from saying it. That same old knot was forming in her gut, the one that always started whenever she was becoming emotionally attached to someone…especially a man. Oh, it hadn’t happened often, but when it did, that fear stood inside her like the Berlin Wall, causing her to retreat.

  “It’s just that…” Ann hesitated, searching for the right words “…I’m in a
strange country with strange customs. I thought you’d be around. Someone I could talk to if I had questions, or whatever…. Oh, hell, Mike.” Ann glared at him. “You’re asking a lot. A whole hell of a lot.”

  Nodding, he rasped, “I know I am. That’s why it’s up to you to decide now, rather than later. I can have one of my men take you to the airport. You can walk away.”

  Ann slowly stood up and moved the chair away from her. Inwardly, she roiled with anger, fear and need for him as she tried to sort out what she wanted. Pacing the kitchen slowly, her arms folded tightly against herself, she tried to quiet her mind and feel her way to the truth of the situation. He remained silent as she pondered what she wanted to do.

  Then she halted a few feet in front of him. She didn’t know who looked or felt grimmer at the moment. Her voice was husky with strain. “Because of my past, I shut myself off, Mike. I was pretty successful at it for a long time until you crashed into my life.” She saw him smile a little—a smile edged with deep sadness. She saw hope burning in his eyes and a fierce, unspoken need for her. “I’m tired of hiding, of burying myself.” She sighed. “No. I want to stay. And if possible, I want to explore what we have on your terms and conditions. I don’t like the danger—” she allowed her arms to drop to her sides as she added wearily “—but I don’t like the other choice, either. I want a chance to see what we have, where it will lead…don’t you?”

  Easing to his full height, Mike nodded. Euphoria swept through him at her words. Not only did she want to stay, but she wanted to be with him, despite the danger. He approached Ann, who stood looking like a lost, orphaned child rather than the strong woman he knew her to be. A bitter sweetness flowed through him. Aching to reach out and caress her flaming cheek, Mike lifted his hand. “What I want and what I can have are not the same thing,” he rasped, looking down at her, at the turmoil in her eyes. But he knew now that she had chosen to stay, he would need to see her. And he would have to be more careful than he’d ever been in his life. He just couldn’t lose her. “I’ll do what I can to come to you, if safety permits.”

  Ann bowed her head. “This is so hard for me, Mike…because of my past…” She looked up at him, tears stinging her eyes. “You’re so strong and brave compared to me. I don’t know if I have the guts to go the distance. I want to, but…” She watched that very male mouth curve tenderly. When Mike smiled, Ann felt as if sunlight was blanketing her and making her feel warm and safe once more. Her head warned her that being around Houston would be her death warrant. People who loved him died. Shaken by the thought, she absorbed his healing touch.

  “Listen to me,” he said, cupping her shoulders and giving her a small shake. “You’re one of the bravest women I’ve ever known. What you do at Perseus is just as dangerous as what I do out in the field. So don’t cut yourself down, querida. You’ve got a heart as courageous as mine.”

  Ann gave him a wry look. “Why do I have the feeling I’m going to find that out?”

  His fingers tightened on her shoulders. “I didn’t mean to lead you on, Ann…I honestly didn’t. But now that you are here with me, the thought of losing you—” He broke off, his voice quavery.

  She felt his powerful emotions avalanche through her. “I know,” she answered helplessly.

  “You know,” Mike rasped, “I wanted to tell you before I left tonight that I like your freckles. I’ve never seen them before. You must have always covered them up.”

  “Oh, them…” Ann self-consciously allowed her fingertips to brush across her cheek.

  “I like them,” he told her, his smile deepening as he caressed her thick, damp hair. “It brings out the little girl that hides inside you. She’s special, you know. Pretty spontaneous, too.”

  His words brought back her dream, Ann realized, as she reveled in his undivided attention. It was as if she were standing in front of an incredibly brilliant, shining sun, rather than just an ordinary human being. But he was a flesh-and-blood man and that made her scared and lured her simultaneously.

  “I’m not a spontaneous person by nature,” she muttered defiantly. “And you know that—freckles or no freckles.” Although, for once, Ann found herself realizing that her decision to stay—to see Mike when and if she could—would teach her to be spontaneous. Her heart entertained a notion of what it would be like to meet Mike at that magical pool she’d dreamed about. Oh! Blushing furiously over those lascivious thoughts, Ann hoped that he wasn’t able to read her mind.

  “If things were different, I’d have the time to find out just what is making you blush like that,” Houston murmured as he rested his hands languidly on his narrow hips, studying her purely feminine reaction to him. But he had to go. Time was more than up for his stay at her apartment. Brushing her cheek, he whispered, “I don’t care what you say. You look beautiful when you wear your hair down and let those freckles shine through. They’re the real you, you know?”

  Ann blushed like a proverbial schoolgirl, and that tipped him off. Mike wanted to ask who had made her feel so embarrassed about her natural beauty, but time wasn’t going to let him do that. The sight of her set his heart pounding briefly and caused a warm feeling to flow through him. He’d never felt quite like this before. Yes, he’d loved two other women in his life, but the feelings Ann stirred in him were new. She was like a wild, watchful animal around men, he was discovering.

  “I’ve got to go,” Houston murmured huskily, allowing his hands to drop from her arms. “I’ll be in touch as soon as I can. Through one of my men. He’ll use the password orchid, to let you know he’s my emissary and not one of Escovar’s spies.”

  Ann followed him to the door of her apartment. “All right. Is…where you’re going…dangerous?” She knew better than to ask, but her silly heart was in control of her at the moment.

  Mike looked out the door through the peephole before unlocking the dead bolt. “Now you’re going to worry about me?” he teased, trying to gently parry her concerns so that she wouldn’t lose sleep over him or his duties.

  “Just a little,” Ann admitted with a broken smile.

  The crestfallen look on her face confirmed his suspicion that she would worry—a lot. Taking her into his arms one last time, Houston pressed her against him. She came willingly into his embrace. Groaning, he rasped against her hair, “If you ever need me, Ann, all you have to do is call out my name. Okay?” He moved her away just enough to hold her startled gaze. “If you are in danger of any kind, just call out my name in your head.”

  “In my head?” Confused, she frowned.

  “Mental telepathy,” he explained gently. Trying to ease her confusion, he touched her head with his hand. “From your head to my head. Just call me. I’ll get back here to Lima—to you—just as soon as humanly possible.”

  Stunned, she blinked. “Mental telepathy?”

  Unwilling to get into a long discussion on it, Mike nodded patiently. “Yes.”

  “You—can do that? Read minds?”

  “I’m a better receiver than sender,” he said teasingly as he saw the wariness come back to her face.

  “And how long have you had this ability?”

  He ran his hands down her long, slender back, memorizing the feel of her. “About nine years. It happened after I almost died.”

  “Oh,” Ann said, “a gift from a near-death experience? I’ve heard some people develop psychic gifts after encounters with death.”

  Mike raised his brows. “Well…something like that. The next time I see you, I’ll share some other things about myself with you. Right now, time is gone. I have to leave….”

  “You’re serious about that, aren’t you? This calling you mentally if I’m in trouble?”

  “Very,” Houston assured her in a growl. “Come here, querida. I need to feel you one last time….” He leaned down and captured her lips with his.

  Lightning bolted through Ann as she was crushed against his hard, uncompromising body. Tears squeezed beneath her lids as she responded fiercely to his mou
th moving against hers. This was their goodbye with one another. Maybe the last time she would ever kiss him. Perhaps the last time she would ever see him. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, meeting and melding with their hungry mouths as they devoured one another. The saltiness combined with the utter male taste of him. Her world spun only around Mike, around his strong arms holding her, the beating of the powerful, loving heart in his chest against the firmness of her breasts. Oh, how badly she wanted to go to bed with him! To love him fully! She felt the same raw desire emanating from him.

  As he tore his mouth from hers, he whispered, “Just stay safe, querida. Safe…” Then he turned, opened the door and left.

  Ann stood there, swaying unsteadily. She wrapped her arms around herself as the door closed quietly behind him. She felt as if Mike was still embracing her in their final goodbye kiss. Tears flowed unchecked from her eyes. She felt his love. It was as real, palpable and surprising as her taking a sudden breath of air into her lungs.

  In the next moment, he was gone like a silent jungle cat, leaving her heart pounding wildly in her breast. What had just happened? Unsure, Ann pressed her hand against her chest and went to the door to look out the peephole.

  Houston was gone. There was no trace of him. Blinking, she moved away and slid the dead bolt back into place. That warm, loving feeling lingered around her, like a soft caress moving up and down her entire trembling form. Ann turned on her heel and walked slowly down the hall toward her bedroom. She was imagining things! She had to be!

  Then why were there tears in her eyes? In that split second, she’d felt his fierce love for her, his raw, unbridled grief at having to leave her and his fear that he might never see her again alive. Picking up her black leather physician’s bag from the closet, Ann shook her head.