“I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to my wife.”
“Oh, sorry. I guess I just didn’t realize what that looked like, since it’s such a rare occurrence.”
I blew out a breath through my nose, taking a large step toward him, but he only laughed as Charlie pressed her hands into my chest.
“Come on. Let’s go get lunch.” She turned to Reese then, and she looked even more pissed than I was. “Maybe you should use this time to call Blake. I’m sure she’d love to hear from you.”
Reese’s smile fell at that, and I saw the look in his eyes, one I knew all too well. He pleaded with Charlie for something in that moment — but for what, I wasn’t sure. Forgiveness? Understanding? Either way, Charlie didn’t seem keen to give it to him. She grabbed her purse from the hook behind her desk chair, leading the way out of her classroom.
“See you tomorrow,” she called behind us, but she didn’t turn, didn’t so much as glance at Reese again before we were out of her room and down the hall.
We were both silent as we walked to the rental car, and once we were inside it, Charlie buckled up and let out a long breath.
I followed her lead, strapping on my seatbelt, but then I paused with my hands on the wheel.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you tomorrow?”
“It’s on his way, Cam,” she said. “And we’re both going there. No sense in going out of your way.”
“I don’t mind.”
“I know. But it’s fine, I can just ride with him.”
My stomach turned. I knew they’d be together all weekend, so in the grand scheme of things, a car ride didn’t make much of a difference. Still, I hated it.
I started the car, but still didn’t put it in reverse.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “About the lilies. I know you like daisies, I don’t know why I didn’t—”
“Cam,” Charlie said quickly, leaning over in her seat until her hand could reach my leg. She squeezed, making me look at her. “Don’t. I love them. Truly. They were such a wonderful surprise.” She smiled. “And you delivering them in person was icing on the cake.”
I let out a sigh, nodding, though I was still upset with myself.
“Thank you,” she said, leaning over and pressing a kiss to my lips.
My left hand wandered from the steering wheel then, framing her face and holding her mouth to mine. I kissed her as long as she let me, and when she finally pulled back, she clicked on the seat warmers and stared out the front windshield.
“We need to hurry back, okay? I sprung this on Robin, and I don’t want to leave her alone for too long.”
And once again, I was reminded that time was my biggest enemy of all.
Reese
I hadn’t slept in days.
It was the day of the conference, and I was supposed to be a representative of our school. I was supposed to be on my A game, the best of the best, and I looked like I got jumped in an alley last night. My eyes were heavy and lined in purple, my hair a mess no matter how I tried to style it.
I should have gotten rest. I should have been more prepared for today.
But how could I sleep knowing I had to wait to get Charlie alone, knowing she was going home to Cameron every night…
Knowing something had changed.
As if the weekend hadn’t been bad enough with Charlie being on some sort of trip with Cameron, it had been even worse once she’d returned. Because she was different that Friday afternoon she left school than she was Monday morning when she returned.
Before she left, it had been like she was dreading the trip. I knew she would stay with me, if she could, if she hadn’t promised him she would go with him wherever it was he asked her to go. But when she came back, I knew it was as a different woman. Her eyes were lighter, her smile wide, her laugh spritely and easy.
Something had happened. Cameron had made a move. And I knew I wouldn’t have a chance to make mine until the conference.
So, I’d waited, three long days, just trying to bide my time until today. I’d somehow managed to talk her into having lunch with me yesterday, to go over the conference, and that little nibble of cheese was all I had.
And he stole it away.
Seeing him at Westchester, in a place that belonged to me and Charlie, it was like watching a concert where the lead band had stolen all my songs and claimed them as their own.
That was our place. Cameron already got to have Charlie every night at home, and now he had crossed over into my territory, into the one place where I had her without him. But as much as it ticked me off, it also reassured me that though he was trying, he still didn’t know Charlie like I did.
She’d only told me once what her favorite flower was — sixteen years ago, on her fourteenth birthday, when I’d given her a notebook with daisies on it.
I’d never forgotten, and he had.
It didn’t seem like a big deal at first glance. It was just flowers, just one small detail. But that’s the way I loved Charlie — completely, with every fiber of my being. I loved her with every memory in my heart, with every song in my soul, and maybe Cameron had loved her that same way once before.
But where his love had faded, mine hadn’t — not even when I’d never really had her as my own.
That was what I held onto as I tried and failed to sleep, knowing I would see her today, knowing I would finally get her alone.
Blake handed me my bag after I shrugged on a light coat, and she sighed when I opened the front door.
“I wish you didn’t have to go,” she said, running a hand through her long, messy hair before tucking her arms around her middle. “Not that I’m not ecstatic they chose you to attend in your first semester, but selfishly, I’ll miss you.”
My throat thickened. “I’ll miss you, too. But I’ll be back Sunday.”
“Seems so far away.”
“You’ll blink and I’ll be here again,” I assured her, leaning in for a hug. She snuck up on her toes and pressed a kiss to my lips before I could stop her, but I broke it quickly.
“I should get going.”
“Hey,” she said, pulling my arm to stop me before I could make it through the door. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve seemed so… distant, lately.”
I swallowed. “I’m good. Just have a lot on my mind with the conference and all.”
She nodded. “Yeah, I get that. It’s a lot of pressure as a new teacher, I’m sure.” Then, her lips curved into a seductive smile, and she trailed her fingertips over my bicep. “Are you sure you don’t want me to help relieve a little of that pressure?”
My stomach rolled, Charlie’s face when I told her about me and Blake sleeping together just once flashing in front of my eyes. That pain she’d worn would haunt me forever, and I vowed to never be the one to put it there, again.
“I really have to get going, Blake.”
“It won’t take long. You know how quick we can be when we want to be.”
She licked her lips, and I peeled her off me, clearing my throat.
“Save that energy for when I get back, okay?” I said, praying I could just buy some time. I’d fake sick when I got back if I had to, but I knew one thing was for sure — I wouldn’t touch Blake again.
I wouldn’t betray Charlie.
“Have a good weekend,” I offered as I wiggled past her, jogging down the porch steps.
“You, too,” she said on a sigh.
I felt her eyes on me the entire walk to my car.
Once I was out of our neighborhood, I turned the radio off and ran through the words I would say to Charlie.
The last time I’d seen her, we’d fought. She wasn’t happy with me, and I couldn’t blame her. But the whole thing was just so… messy. It was complicated. Charlie of all people should understand that. I just needed to get her alone, talk to her without all the chaos surrounding us.
A beach in Miami seemed like the perfect place to do it.
I couldn’t help but feel l
ike I was losing her, and that feeling was strengthened when I pulled into her driveway and she made her way to my car. She didn’t look excited to be going to the conference, and she definitely didn’t seem happy at the sight of me.
Her long hair was pulled into a high bun, her eyes level, plump lips in a flat line as she dragged her suitcase down the driveway. I jumped out to take it from her, but she stopped me short.
“Don’t.”
I paused in front of her, hands up, and she moved around me to lug her suitcase into my trunk before slamming it shut. I opened her car door for her and she slid inside the passenger side seat without so much as a glance in my direction.
But someone else was staring at me.
Cameron stood in the doorway, his arms crossed as he leaned against one side of it and watched me make my way to my side of the car. I stared back, gaze unwavering.
The way he wore a cocky smirk told me he thought he’d won. It was the same smile I’d worn when he’d been at school the day before, except mine had been more like defensive armor than anything I was actually sure of. The truth was, I’d been scared shitless when I saw him in her room.
Something had changed. Cameron had made a move. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew I had my work cut out for me to bring Charlie back to me.
He thought I was out of the picture, my bridge burned, my chance shattered.
But he had years of mistakes to make up for, and I only had one.
He underestimated me, but I only smiled back, because the truth was it was better that way.
I wanted him to think I was easy competition, that I’d fade off without putting up any kind of fight. Because what he failed to see was this had nothing to do with him. I didn’t give a shit about him. It was Charlie I cared for, and her happiness.
Only now, I knew I could make her happier than him, that I could treat her better, and I wouldn’t stop until she was mine.
I cocked one brow in Cameron’s direction before opening my door to slide inside. Charlie still didn’t look at me, not after I shut the door and not after I put the car in drive. Her eyes were on her husband.
I had to make her see.
He was only fighting for her because he lost her in the first place, but he didn’t love her like I did.
No one loved her like I did. No one ever would.
She watched him until he was out of her sight, then her eyes found the road, and a deafening silence fell over us.
“I don’t know about you,” I said once we were clear of her house. “But I am beyond ready for sunshine and drinks on the beach.”
“We’ll be inside the hotel almost the entire time,” she said, her expression blank as she stared out the front window.
“Not the whole time. We have breaks. And Saturday, the conference ends at noon, and we have the whole rest of the day and that night before we leave Sunday.”
“Yeah, well, the beach isn’t really my thing.”
I sighed, reaching a hand over for hers, but she leaned away from the touch.
“Come on, Charlie,” I pleaded. “We have an entire weekend away together. Alone…” I glanced at the road before reaching over farther to place my hand on her knee. “Don’t spend it being mad at me.”
“How’s Blake?”
She whipped around to face me with that question, her lips pursed, and I swallowed at the way her eyes bore holes into mine.
“Honestly?” I asked. “Not good. Her dad’s tests came back this weekend. The tumor is cancerous, and it’s terminal.”
Charlie’s eyes softened, just the tiniest bit, and she turned back to the window with her arms crossed tight over her chest.
Saying the words out loud hurt me more than when I’d heard Blake say them.
But I had to tell Charlie, I had to let her in on the full situation so she would understand. No, I hadn’t been honest about Blake, and yes, I had fucked up by sleeping with her.
Just like Charlie was giving Cameron time, I needed her to do the same for me. Blake needed me, and I could be there for her as a friend without crossing any lines — but Charlie had to trust me.
And I knew I didn’t deserve that trust from her, not when I’d already betrayed it.
“It’s complicated, Charlie,” I said after a moment. “I told you that. But I made good on my promise to you. I haven’t touched her since that day, and I won’t again. I’m just trying to help her through this time, okay? And I’m going to tell her about you. About us. Just let me decide when that time is right.” I paused. “Give me the time that I’m giving you with Cameron.”
She scoffed. “Whatever.”
My fists tightened around the steering wheel. I ran through all the words I’d wanted to say to her, but none of them felt adequate. She hated me, and she wasn’t going to let me in — not yet.
I had to figure out a way to break through.
But every rational thought was sucked out into the cool March air when she kicked open her door at the airport, not even looking at me as the last words I expected flew from her mouth.
“I slept with him.”
Then, she slammed her door, yanked her bag from the trunk, and made her way into the airport without checking to see if I followed.
Charlie
My mom used to say to me, “Be careful what you wish for.”
I never understood it, not until I wished for nothing but chocolate one year for Christmas. My parents delivered, as did “Santa” and my grandparents. I had more chocolate than I knew what to do with, and I ate as much of it as I could in one sitting.
Then, I got violently ill.
I still remember sleeping in the bathroom, hugging onto the toilet and telling my mom I never wanted to taste chocolate ever again. I begged her to take what I had left and give it away, and she’d just chuckled, reminding me of that warning she’d given.
“Be careful what you wish for.”
That lesson came back into my mind as I glanced over to where Reese sat, across the room from me. I didn’t understand how he could look so artistically beautiful, even under the horrid fluorescent lights of the conference ballroom. It was like resisting chocolate, trying not to stare at him, but it didn’t really matter — because his eyes hadn’t found mine since the car ride to the airport yesterday.
It didn’t matter that our hotel rooms were right next to each other, or that we’d been in several of the same small group break-out sessions, or that we’d been at the same dinner and the same after-party. Reese had avoided me every minute of the conference so far, and from the outside, it looked like he was having the time of his life.
Everyone loved him after just day one, which was a half day, and I couldn’t blame them. He was charming, lively, the life of the party even at a conference.
He made everyone laugh — except for me.
As if his thoughtful insight and perfect comical timing during the conference wasn’t enough, he was the center of attention at the mixer last night, too. He even played the keyboard at the little beach bar we all ended up at, with everyone gathered around him and singing along.
It wasn’t even nine before I skipped out of the event, no longer wanting to be in the same room with him — especially since it seemed like he’d completely forgotten I existed.
I’d told him about Cameron because I knew it’d piss him off, and I’d been right.
I’d wanted him to leave me alone, and he had.
But now, all I wanted was to get inside his head, to know what he was thinking.
It was immature and childish, pushing his buttons just to get a rise out of him. It was the same game I’d played with Cameron the night I’d gone out to happy hour and stayed out late. I’d wanted his attention, and it took drastic measures to get it.
But with Reese, he had wanted to give me his attention — and he’d wanted mine, in return. But I was still pissed over Blake, and betrayed, and hurt. He had apologized, offered to tell me more, begged me for understanding — and all I’d done was act like the eig
ht year old I was when I first realized I had a crush on him.
I think in a way, I thought I really did want him to leave me alone. After my weekend with Cameron, I was on a high with him. I wanted to give him my full attention, and Reese would have blocked that. So, I’d tried to push him away, to make him angry.
And I’d succeeded.
Still, though I’d had an amazing weekend with Cameron, and I was happy he was seeing a therapist, I still felt like we were standing on a broken bridge. There were still scars we shared, ones that hadn’t healed — ones we hadn’t even talked about. He was trying, and so was I, but it didn’t change the way I felt for Reese.
Reese drove me mad. He got under my skin the way only someone you love more than the oxygen you need to breathe can. He pushed me to limits I never knew existed, and he showed me a life I never imagined I could have — a love I never imagined I could feel.
He made me irrational, and yet, I wanted him.
But I’d pushed him away.
Was this it? Was it over?
Be careful what you wish for.
“Alright, everyone. That wraps us up for today,” Cindy, our moderator, announced after the last keynote speaker. “We’ll have a break for dinner on your own and then there is an optional mixer at Hulligan’s, the same place as last night. Beach gear encouraged.”
Everyone clapped before the room erupted into a mixture of conversation and laughter. I packed up my bag in silence, smiling at a few people I’d met that day before waving goodbye and excusing myself upstairs to my room.
My phone rang as I stepped off the elevator on our floor, and I swallowed at the sight of Cameron’s face on the screen. It was a photo I’d snapped at the park downtown one afternoon years ago. His aviator sunglasses reflected the Pittsburgh skyline, the sun bright behind it, and his laughing smile took up his entire face. He had just a hint of stubble, my favorite length, and I remembered that moment like it had just happened.
With a tap of my finger, the picture disappeared, the call ignored.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to Cameron, but more that I didn’t want to talk to anyone.
After our weekend together, everything at home had been perfect. I felt Cameron again, the old Cameron, the one I fell in love with and married, the one I built that home with so long ago. We cooked together twice before I left for the conference, both nights filled with laughter and wine. He had surprised me at school, bringing me flowers and taking me out to lunch. And in Cameron fashion, he had taken care of my car when the check engine light came on — just so I wouldn’t have to.
What He Always Knew (What He Doesn't Know Duet Book 2) Page 10
