This was going to be harder than she'd ever imagined.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Iain strode into the Greathall with Raibert glad to be back. It had been a very long week trying to divert the Campbell's interest. They had done an admirable job in the end, however and had thus given the clan time to see things packed up so they could move again.
They would make their way to the island of Eilean nam Faoileag and make that their new home for a time. 'Twas as good a plan as any he and Raibert could come up with. They'd taken a few extra days to scout out the local and come to the conclusion that it would be a safe haven. The keep was a fortress, with high walls surrounding it as well as the waters of Loch Rannoch. It was highly defensible as one could only get there by swimming or boat.
"Are ye going to see your wife now, laird?" Raibert asked a twinkle in his blue eyes.
Iain ran a hand through his hair. He had started to tell his friend the truth about Kris several times, but stopped before he could utter a single word.
"Aye." He finally said and strode off in the direction of his chambers. He had thought long and hard about what Kristianna had told him, but he still was unsure. Could he live with the knowledge that the lass was a Campbell? And what would the rest of the clan say, or worse do, should they ever discover that fact? He shook his head. He was no closer to an answer now than he had been over a se'nnight ago.
He admitted, at least to himself, that he understood her reasoning, could even accept the fact that she had lied to him. He could forgive that, could even forgive her for not telling him. But could he live with the truth about her identity?
He stood before his chamber door and took a deep, sustaining breath before entering, her name on his lips.
He stopped, still in the doorway and looked around the room. Something was different. Not only was Kris not here, all evidence of her had disappeared as well. Had she taken her things back to her old rooms? Was she even still in the keep? He did not like the sense he was getting.
If she was out wandering around the highlands, that could be a very dangerous thing. Iain bolted from the room and headed down the hall. He banged open the door to Kris' original room.
Nothing.
He didn't take time to close the door, but hurried down the stairs to the Greathall, not stopping when Raibert called out his name.
"Ha'e ye seen Kristianna today?" he asked the cook.
"Nay, laird. Come to think on it, I ha'enae seen the lady in several days. 'Tis unusual that…"
Iain didn't even give her time to finish before he left the kitchens at a dead run.
"Iain."
He didn't stop at Raibert's bellow but kept on going, back up the stairs to his màthair's rooms. He didn't bother to knock there, either, but burst into the room.
His màthair was sitting on her chaise in front of the fire. She yelped in fright, her hand going to her heart when Iain stormed in.
"Where is Kristianna?" He asked, without preamble.
"Iain, what on earth?"
"Where is my wife, màthair?"
"I have no idea. I haven't seen her in days. I was beginning to worry when I couldn't find her in any of her usual places. I sent out some men to look for her, but they found nothing. I don't think this is at all good, Iain. Where could she have gone?"
Iain looked at her, not sure what to say.
"Iain, what happened?
"She is a Campbell, màthair," he said softly, sinking dejectedly into a chair.
"Aye."
"Ye knew?" He was incredulous, "ye knew she was a Campbell and dinnae tell me?"
"Aye, I knew. But Kris made me swear to keep her secret until she could find the right moment to tell ye. She was frightened, Iain, unsure of how you would react." She peered at him, "you reacted predictably I take it."
"Aye, I'm afraid I did." He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "More so because I discovered the truth of it before she could tell me." He then proceeded to fill his màthair in on exactly what had happened the morning he left.
"I don't know what to tell you, Iain." Sorcha said, her eyes brimming with tears, "I'm afraid you may never find her now."
"Why? Where would she ha'e gone? She knows no one. Although I as much as accused her of being a Campbell spy, I know that isnae true."
"Iain, how could you? You saw all her future items, you know she was telling the truth. She had no cause to spy for the Campbells. Whether she was a Campbell or not did not have to make a difference. She was from the future, from a time where clan wars don't happen anymore in Scotland. In the future, Campbell's and MacGregor's don't fight and are not enemies. They have even married each other."
Iain sighed and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "I realize that now, màthair, but now is too late, isnae it?"
Sorcha rose from her seat and embraced her son. "I am sorry for this, Iain. Ye loved her, didn't you?"
Iain nodded feeling worse than he'd ever felt in his entire life. He'd thrown away a chance at love, at happiness with the only woman who had asked nothing of him except his affection. And for what? For pride, he decided.
And only now that he'd lost her, did he realize how much he needed her, how much he truly loved her and how undeserving of her love he was. She'd given that love to him freely, asking nothing in return. He'd known it, sensed it, seen it in all the small things she'd said and done.
He sighed heavily, a weight on his heart.
"There is one thing you might try." His màthair interrupted his thoughts.
"And what is that?"
"First, answer me a question. Do ye truly love Kristianna and can ye live with who she is?"
Iain nodded and answered without hesitation, "aye. I love her more than I can tell ye, màthair. And I would gi'e anything to ha'e her back and prove that too her."
"Then go see Morag."
"The witch?"
"Pah. She is no witch and you know it, Iain. Just go and speak with her," she urged.
Iain started to speak but Sorcha stopped him, "just do as I suggest and see where it goes. That's all I can tell you."
* * *
Iain thought over all his màthair had told him as he sat brooding in his darkened solar. It had been almost a month and a half since he'd discussed Kristianna's disappearance with her and still he had not gone to see Morag.
Sorcha had asked him the day before what he was waiting for and he hadn't been able to answer that question. He had no idea why he was waiting. Perhaps it was because he was afraid Morag would tell him to give up; there was nothing he could do about it. In essence, he'd sent Kristianna away and now he must live with the consequences of that foolish choice.
He rose from his chair and headed for the lists. It seemed to be the only place he did not see Kris at every turn. The lass haunted his waking and sleeping moments.
He reached the lists and watched for a few moments in silence as Raibert put Devyn through his lessons. The lad had come far in the short time he'd been with them. He was a hard worker and had been a great help in the move to the island.
Word had come that the Campbell's had given up searching for the clan for the moment, but Iain was certain that wouldn't last very long. It was only a matter of time before they picked up the search again. Until that time, he supposed they were safe enough.
His màthair and Elsbeth barely spoke to him unless necessary. Although his màthair was softening a bit since she realized he was doing enough, what had she called it? Ah yes, that was it, beating himself up, that was it. Aye, he was most assuredly doing that. And more.
He watched the men training for maybe a quarter of an hour more before he grew restless and began to walk. Before he knew where his feet intended to take him, he stood outside Morag's cottage. She had moved along with the rest of the clan and to the new keep and was quite comfortable in the cottage Iain had seen erected for her.
"Ahh Laird Iain. Is there aught I can do for ye this fine morn?"
Iain shook started to shake his he
ad, then thought better of it. "I was wondering if I may speak wi' ye for a wee while, Morag."
"Of course, my laird. 'Tis always a pleasure to ha'e yer company. Would ye care for some ale then, laddie?"
"Aye, that would be most welcome, mistress."
"Come in wi' ye then and ha'e a seat."
Iain sat at the long table set into the wall of the small kitchen while Morag poured a goblet of ale.
"Now, my braw laddie, what is it this old woman can help ye wi'?"
"I wished to ask ye…" he began.
"Go on." Morag prompted.
"I wished to ask ye about Kristianna." He finally pushed the statement out.
"And what about that lass are ye wishin' to know?"
"Do ye mayhaps know where she is?"
When Morag didn't answer, Iain grew edgy. "That was stupid of me. Of course ye wouldnae know where the lass is. How could ye?" He started to rise. "Thank ye for the ale, Morag. I should get back to my training."
"But I do know where she is, laird." Morag answered forthrightly.
"Ye do?" Iain looked at her, not really sure what to ask next. He was not sure if he was surprised or not, finally deciding he wasn't.
"Ye dinnae seem willing to divulge anything voluntarily, Morag."
She smiled at him, "I will answer your questions honestly, laird, but nay, I willnae offer ye more than what ye ask."
Iain huffed out a breath and looked at her another minute.
"Will ye tell me where she is then?"
"She has gone home."
Iain looked at the ceiling, then at his mug, then back at Morag again and nodded. "I figured as much." He started to rise but thought of something else, "is she safe then?"
"Safe? Aye, she is safe."
Iain got the feeling he was not asking the right questions, or at least not asking the question Morag wanted to hear.
"Is…" he stopped, "is she happy?"
Morag stared off for several moments before she answered him. "She is…content."
"Content isnae happy."
"Nay."
Iain sighed and rose. He gave Morag a small bow, thanked her for her time and left.
Morag watched him walk away and shook her head. "Ah my fine laird, ye dinnae ask the right questions now did ye?" She tsked and returned to her work. Mayhap soon he would return and do so.
* * *
Kris strolled unhurriedly back to the castle from the village, feeling lazy and distant today. It had been well over a month since she'd been found, unconscious near here. She'd eventually told her brothers the truth about where she'd been and of course, they hadn't believed her. They chalked it up to the bump on her head, telling her she'd had some kind of coma induced dream and sometimes they could seem very real.
At least Hailey and Aleksa had believed her. For the most part anyway. She folded her hands over her stomach and couldn't help the smile that came to her lips. The doctor in town had confirmed what she'd begun to suspect. She was pregnant. It made her happy and sad at the same time. Happy that she'd have a little one to raise and lavish the love on that she hadn't been able to do with his or her father, but sad that the father couldn't be here to share in the joy and experience with her. She wished again, for maybe the millionth time, that things could have been different.
She shook her head. She couldn't afford to let her emotions get out of whack right now. She needed to concentrate on what she did have, not think about what she'd lost. If she didn't, she'd be a constant waterfall of tears. She'd already done enough of that during the first week or so that she'd been back. She had a baby to think of now. She had to take care of herself.
Entering the keep, she looked around the Greathall and couldn't help the small shudder. She'd determined to build a new life for herself. One in which she would take the reins and control her own fate. She would never forget a single detail of Iain's face, nor could she stop the thoughts of him from intruding into her day, no matter how busy she tried to keep herself. But they were thoughts she could learn to live with and hopefully, someday, they would lessen enough for her not to get teary-eyed at every one.
Mr. MacGregor had invited her to stay through the fall and she'd gladly accepted his kind invitation. Her brothers had returned to the States, but Hailey and Aleksa had decided to extend their vacations and keep Kris company.
Kris walked up to her rooms, different from the one she'd had before her unfortunate accident. She just hadn't been able to stay in that room. Too many memories assaulting her.
She turned and looked down the hallway, realizing with a start that this was where she'd gotten herself lost and found Iain's portrait the first day she'd been here. She went to the end of the hallway and looked up.
Nothing. Just a blank, empty wall.
She turned slowly to see Mr. MacGregor standing beside her.
"Oh." She jumped.
"I dinnae mean to startle you, Kris." He smiled at her.
Kris waved away his concern. "What happened to Iain?" She asked before she could stop herself.
"It needed to be cleaned." He answered with a negligent shrug. "Dinner will be in an hour, Kris." He eyed her for a moment, "may I ask, how was your trip to town?"
"Oh, fine. I'm recovering very well according to the doctor."
"Very good."
"Mr. MacGregor," she gave him a half-smile, "Brian, may I ask you a question?"
"Of course, my dear. Feel free to ask me anything ye wish."
"Um well." Kris looked around the hallway, searching for the right words, "you believe me, don't you? About my trip through time."
He looked at her so long, she thought he might not answer. Finally he nodded, "of course I believe you. Scotland is a magical place, lass, and I for one never discount anything that may happen here. Besides, you'll recall I'm the one who told you the legend of Iain to begin with."
"Oh, yes, of course, you were." She thought a moment, "Oh." Her eyes grew wide, "right." She looked down at her feet, "did you know it was me then?"
The older man shook his head, "nay, lass. I had no idea. The lass Iain loved was never named except that she was a Campbell."
"I see." She started to walk toward her room, "I guess we'll never know what became of him now, will we?"
"One never knows what kind of things might happen in Scotland, lass. We can only wait and see."
"Well, thank you for believing me at least."
He dropped a kiss on her forehead in a grandfatherly fashion. "Get some rest before dinner, lass. The wee one will need it."
Kris' hands flew to her abdomen. "How did you know?"
He winked at her and gave her a smile, "you are glowing, lass."
Kris kissed his grizzled cheek and let herself into her room. He was right, she was tired after her walk and a rest before dinner was just the thing.
Chapter Twenty-Six
"Iain, ye ha'e been a grumbly pain in the arse for near to two months now. Will ye do us all a favor and go away until ye can behave in a more civilized manner." Raibert bellowed to a stunned Iain before he stormed out of the hall.
Iain looked around at the people in the hall and sighed. He stomped after his captain, but lost his anger before he caught up with him. Raibert was right. He'd been cross and angry for weeks now. It wasn't anyone in particular that he was angry with, except himself of course.
His màthair had chided him about it, Raibert had bellowed at him several times about it, even Elsie and cook had commented on it. Nothing helped or stopped it.
He rubbed a hand over his face. He knew what he needed to do. He would go have another talk with Morag. And this time, he determined, he would ask the proper questions. He'd come to the conclusion, several days ago if anyone cared to know, that he just could not live any longer without Kristianna. It was as if the sun had gone from his world and refused to shine anymore. Somehow, someway, he would either bring her back to him or find a way to go to her.
He set off with a determined stride to Morag's cottage before he
could change his mind again.
* * *
Morag looked up from her stewpot as Iain stomped in.
"I've been expecting ye for some time now, laird. What kept ye?"
Iain looked at her, startled. "Ye ha'e?"
"Aye. Are ye ready to ha'e your true question answered now?"
Iain took a deep breath and nodded.
"Well ask away then."
"Ye said Kristianna went home. I assume that meant back to her own time."
"Aye."
"And how is it ye know this?"
"Because I am the one who sent her there."
That statement made Iain sit down. "Explain that, if ye please."
Morag sat across from him, poured him a large mug of ale and told Iain what she had told Kris several months before.
"I see." Iain said when she had finished. "I see." He repeated. He blew out a breath, prepared to ask her the most important question now. "And," he took another fortifying swallow of ale, "can ye bring her back?"
"Nay, unfortunately, nay, my laird."
"I see." He said again. "Then is there any way ye can send me to her?"
"Why?"
Iain looked up, stunned by the question. "Pardon?"
"Why do ye wish to go to her, laird?"
Iain started to give her a trite answer then looked into her eyes. She would accept nothing less than the truth. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
"I love her, Morag. I love her enough to gi'e up my life here, to gi'e up being laird and all that I know, to find her. I cannae li'e without her anymore. She means more to me than I e'er thought a woman would." He bowed his head, "please, Morag. If there is anyway ye can help me…" He looked at her then, silently pleading, "can ye help me? Can ye send me to her?"
Morag chuckled. "Now that is the question I ha'e been waiting these many weeks to hear from ye, laddie. And the answer is aye, I can do that."
Iain nearly fell out of his chair at the sense of relief that washed over him. He jumped up and began to pace.
"Then do so. Immediately."
"Wait." Morag cautioned.
Timeless Mist Page 29
