Blood, Sweat and Demon Tears (The Grateful Undead series Book 3)

by Susan Stec

  Zaire hammered the picnic table in the dining room and turned away.

  "Zaire, you're supposed to help Resi with Monty. Susan is getting JoAnn," Mom said; then addressing Resi, "How's it coming with the portal spell?"

  "Still looking," Resi sang from the leather recliner by the couch. "And there is the issue of an exact location."

  "No shit," Zaire said, smiling at me, "not like you can knock on a few doors in Hell."

  Resi laughed. "Yeah, I can just hear it now, 'Hello, I'm Raphael's concubine's sister, but I seem to have lost the address to their den of iniquity. Do you know where they fornicate, mutilate, and procreate?'" She laughed again, slapping the arm of the recliner. "Ah, that's amusing."

  Marcus ran his long fingers over the new glass top on the coffee table. The gator was back under it, snarling as usual. "Dorius has located a chant that will open a portal directly to Raphael's slice of the Otherworld." He laid hard eyes on me. "But you will not be going without me, Susan."

  Mom swung her arms up in the air. "He had a chant this whole time? What the hell? The bastard!"

  I ignored her and smiled at Marcus. "Going without you, coming without you, whatever, I'm good"

  Marcus wasn't amused. "This is not something to make light of, Susan. I will not have my mate… you could be…"

  There he goes with the mate thing, again. "I'm well aware of the dangers, sweetie." Right? My ass was quivering in my thong. I tried to ignore Zaire as she pounded by me, mumbling.

  "I don't think you are." Marcus gave Zaire a quick glance and continued. "You'll be on Raphael's turf, and he'll have a flock of demons, never mind what else, at his disposal. We need to have a rock-solid plan to bring JoAnn and the child back as quickly as possible after we arrive. Keep in mind, an hour down there equates to mere minutes here."

  I hadn't thought about that. Though I had no idea what difference it made. I was about to ask when Christopher announced, "Here it is." He was kneeling in front of the laptop at the picnic table, his little Spidey-shoes tucked up under his butt. "I have the chant. Now all we have to do is come up with a plan. I can't believe I'm going to Hell." He smiled at me.

  "If that little shit gets to go, so do I," Zaire blurted, her silver eyes shooting daggers, daring me to tell her she couldn't. I didn't have to, Marcus did.

  "We won't be taking any of you with us. Christopher will be working with Monty. He'll need both Zaire and Resi to assist."

  Christopher smacked the lid on the laptop closed.

  "Screw the snake—they can handle it—I'm goin'," Zaire yelled.

  "Before we decide who is going," Resi interrupted, "I think we should try calling Aunt JoAnn one more time." She smiled at her mate. "If you can just talk her into… let's say… a short visit, none of us will have to go." Resi flipped another page of the spell book.

  "Now, that's an excellent idea." Marcus looked hopeful. "Call her, Susan."

  I ignored him. "Resi, why do you still have your nose stuck in that spell book? We have a chant."

  "We don't know if you can put the dog into an immortal or a demon, remember? I'm looking for a spell."

  "There is that, but it worked with the sorcerer," I reminded her.

  "Not a deeemon or an immorrrtal. A sorcerer is huuuman," Resi sang.

  She was right, damn it, a sorcerer is a mortal. I put Tootles inside of Jeni, my older daughter; because Grandma's old spell book said we had to use a human. The dog went in effortlessly, but we'd never tried to put her in any of us.

  "Plan B!" Mom shrieked, tugging at her Spandex shorts, her brows fighting for the bridge of her nose. "If you can't put the dog inside JoAnn, just grab her ass and the kid's, then jump back into the frigging portal. Pretty damn black and white. How hard could it be?"

  Marcus cleared his throat. "There is the time difference."

  I sucked in a breath. "Enough with the time thing. What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

  Marcus licked the corner of his mouth and I got goose bumps. "We will not all be able to enter the portal all at once." He looked at me like that was supposed to light a bulb in my head.

  "And?" I waved my hand in a brisk circle.

  Now he had a smug look on his frigging handsome face. "Whoever enters first will be there… alone… for thirty minutes, maybe even an hour before another of us gets through."

  "Shit!" I was not about to hang in Hell, waiting for backup.

  "Fuckin'-A," Zaire said. "I'll do it! I can handle it!"

  Mom curled back her lips, pulling her brows together, as she spat, "What part of 'you're not going' do you not understand? Susan is going in first!"

  I figured it was easy for her to say. I mean, I didn't hear her offering to stand around in a land full of demons, twiddling her fingers while she waited. I shot her a set of eyebrows just like the ones she was wearing.

  Resi tried to help. "Oh, good idea, Nan. Let's send the only one that can do the chant in first. And you'll have two kids stuck in Hell."

  Now Zaire looked smug.

  "Christ, how the hell do I know? Just wing it," Mom grunted.

  "We will not be winging anything," Marcus informed her. "Resi is correct. Susan will be the last to enter. I will be going in first. But we still need to contact JoAnn."

  "Why?" I asked, watching Zaire's eyes follow a fly buzzing around the room.

  Marcus said, "Because we need her to be alone with the child when we make our attempt, another timing glitch."

  Zaire whipped her hand in front of her face and caught the fly. She crushed it, smiling at us like she'd accomplished something spectacular.

  Christopher laughed. "Renfield caught flies. Not very immortal. But he did eat them. Wonder if that's what made him Dracula's fav."

  Zaire gave him a look that should have killed him a second time. She was acting kind of pissy lately. The Cuda, the arguments, if I didn't know better; I'd suspect she was having a problem over the rest of us possessing special powers.

  Resi moved concerned eyes off her mate, and turned to Marcus. "I'm thinking if JoAnn won't come on her own, we should call a few times before we develop a plan. We should try to catch her when she's out in the clover with Lily and nab her."

  "Another excellent idea," Marcus smiled, probably because it was putting off the inevitable.

  Mom dropped her fangs, hissed at Marcus, and turned on me. "Call your sister, goddamnit, and talk her into making a visit."

  I looked at Marcus. He smiled. "Go ahead, it wouldn't hurt. We can establish a rapport with her—let her think we accept her choices—and when the time is right, we'll make our move."

  I picked the Earth-to-Abyss phone communicator off the kitchen counter and opened it. Smiling back at him, I pushed the purple 6.

  A few seconds later, JoAnn appeared in front of a large copper tub, with a purple sponge in one hand and her phone in the other. We could see Lily's head above the tub, bubbles all over her cute face, as she laughed and splashed the water everywhere.

  "Now is not a good time, Susan. Lilith, quit splashing. You're getting everything wet." JoAnn turned and yelled over her shoulder, "Ralphie, come and bathe your kid—I have a phone call!"

  I stood there with my mouth open, staring at the phone with the rest of my family.

  A minute later, Raphael grinned into the phone. "Ah, my little immortal witch. I hope the evening finds you in good health. I suggest you leave a message the next time, and Jo-Jo can call you when it's more convenient. Can your sister call you back after Lily's bath?"

  JoAnn slapped him. "If I've asked you once, I've asked you a thousand times, for the love of Satan, call my child Lilith!"

  I sucked in a breath while there was still air left in the room.

  Raphael laughed, pushing her away. The scene changed as JoAnn walked into a room with red walls covered in gold plaster adornments. A depiction of Satan flashed across the screen, horns and all.

  She must have been sitting down because all we could see in the screen was her face and black
leather. "So, how's things?" my sister asked. In our family, we're all quick-tempered and just as quick to forget the last argument. I mean, who the hell can keep up? I'd have to start a list.

  "Good, good," I said, trying not to ask about the Ralphie thing or the devil hanging on the wall. "We miss you, though, and Mom would love to meet Lilith. She's beautiful."

  Mom shot me her stupid Italian eyes again. I ignored her.

  JoAnn's smile spread across the whole screen. "She is, isn't she, and I have to admit, you guys are all Lilith can talk about lately. She wants to meet you too, and all she can think about is what it's like down there. Of course, I'd want to bring her daddy with us."

  "Up here," I corrected, feeling the tension in the room mounting with the mention of Demon-Daddy paying a visit.

  "Oh, sorry. I get my directions all messed up. So what did you call for?"

  "Do you think just Lilith and you could come for a visit?" I meekly asked.

  "I doubt it." JoAnn pouted. "Raphael is very protective of Lilith. I can hardly go anywhere without him since you called the first time."

  I bit my lower lip. "That's terrible. Did you tell him we're all very close and you need us?"

  JoAnn nodded her head, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I cried for days after you called. He doesn't care. Men… demons… whatever… they're all the same. He can be such a pain sometimes."

  Marcus pushed his thoughts into my head, Tell her it's all right, you will call more often. We need to make sure Raphael backs off. We can't nab her unless she is alone with the child.

  "It's okay, JoAnn, we can talk on the phone every day and maybe he will let you and Lilith come home for Christmas. It's only a few months away."

  Marcus' laughter erupted in my head.

  "Blasphemy for breakfast, damnation for dinner." Christopher gagged his way into the kitchen, both hands over his mouth.

  Mom picked up the statue of Jesus off the altar and shook it at him, her sharp teeth biting her lip, and cocked her head to one side.

  "Susan, I can try, but…" JoAnn sobbed for a moment, then finished, "… I'm afraid I'm gonna miss decorating the tree this year."

  Christopher was laughing behind his hand—Marcus shot me a warning glance.

  I dug deep for a reprieve. "Maybe asking him if you can celebrate Christmas is a really, really bad idea. I mean… um… well… he's a… you know… and… Hey, just tell him you're content to talk to us on the phone. I'll call every day, and maybe he'll give in and let you visit, ya know?" I just knew I was planting a seed that was gonna come back and bite me in the ass.

  "I will, but it sure would be nice for Lilith to see our tree. It's always so… Can I call you too?"

  I wanted to yell, "Forget the Christmas thing, you idiot. Get it out of your pea brain", but I just smiled and said, "You sure can call me. Every day, and don't mention the visit thing for a while, okay?"

  A loud, evil cackle wafted from the speaker on the phone, followed by, "Oh, you little devil! Lily, come to Daddy, you're getting everything soaking wet. Mommy is going to have another one of her spells, and Daddy…" His voice faded in a trill of high-pitched giggles.

  "Okay, I'll call you tomorrow," JoAnn said, looking off in another direction. "I better go see what kind of a mess they made in my bathroom. My goodness, its way past Lilith's bedtime, it's almost eleven-thirty. The time just flies by, doesn't it?"

  The screen turned back into a mirror and she was gone.

  "Well, that went well, doncha think?" I squeaked after a few moments of silence. I quickly started picking up empty blood bags lying around the living room.

  My mother turned to the altar, mumbling to Jesus.

  Resi shook her head at me. "Mother, you know how Aunt JoAnn is." She gathered an armful of mail, deposited it on the kitchen counter and began shuffling through it. "And come on, Christmas vacation? What the hell were you thinking?"

  "I don't know," I whimpered, tossing the bags in the trash and placing the glasses in the sink. "I was just trying to make conversation. And in my defense, this is the first Christmas since… well… you know."

  Christopher clicked off the laptop, then made me want to grab him by the throat when he suggested, "All of you women should really learn to think before you speak."

  I put both hands on my hips, my mind searching for a smartass rebuttal.

  Marcus burst out laughing. "Darling, you're a constant source of amusement to me. Come, let's go upstairs. I've been too long without you."

  Somewhere over the rainbow… the pink phone sang.

  I looked at it.

  Mom ran over—Jesus still in her hand.

  Christopher spit a laugh. "Well, she said she'd call you tomorrow, must be after midnight. Ha-ha-ha! Maybe you should try for once a week. Ha-ha-ha!"

  I opened the phone and JoAnn was standing in front of a sink full of dishes, up to her elbows in soapy water. "Good morning, how are you guys today?"

  "Where's the phone? Both your hands are wet," I stammered.

  "On the window ledge. I have to be creative. I have so much work around here and I don't want to miss a day of your lives down there."

  "JoAnn it's only been fifteen minutes here." I rolled my eyes, wondering if I could put the damn phone on vibrate.

  "I know, but its morning here. Well, it's still dark, actually, and I haven't gone to bed yet, but it's so hard to calculate the time thing, and I just thought…"

  Mom slammed the statue back on the altar. "Jesus, Lily'll be in college by the time JoAnn gets back here."

  ~~~~

  Chapter Five

  ~~~~

  Naked, I slid down an arc of vividly beautiful colors, through cotton candy clouds, into a misty sky… where bluebirds fly… Waving at Marcus, waiting below, I kicked up my feet with laughter… moving faster now… the clouds are far…

  I slipped effortlessly into his arms, and he placed me on the dew-laden grass. I rolled over and spread my arms, relishing the cool dampness. Hugging my pillow, my eyes moving under closed lids... that I heard of…

  I felt cool skin and soft hair working its way up my back, sending tingles of anticipation down my spine. Something sharp pricked my throat just below my jaw, and the blood in my veins coursed through my body like molten lava. Someday I'll wish…

  Hands grabbed my hips, lifting, pushing, exploding in friction, wet skin against wet skin in a frenzy of passion. I vibrated as something soft slid across my lips, my tongue tasting... troubles melt like…The smell of blood flared my nostrils and incisors slipped from my gums, rooting for a vein. I began to drink, forcing my eyes to stay shut as the dream… wake up where the clouds…

  I moaned with each thrust, and warmth filled me, as Judy Garland softly sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

  Marcus rolled off my back, sounding like a cork popping from a wine bottle. "The gods be damned!"

  Sweet music in the background...

  We both turned toward the dresser.

  "Answer the damn thing. The melody is grating." Marcus put his hand over his eyes, palm up.

  "But darling, it's playing our song." I ran a finger around one of his nipples.

  Somewhere over…

  Marcus made unhappy, large, furry animal noises.

  I slid off the bed and popped open the pink phone.

  JoAnn's smiling face fell and her eyes bugged out. "You're naked!" Her face turned red. "Marcus is too!" JoAnn covered her eyes. "Ohmygod, I didn't… I did!

  I turned ninety degrees, hoping to block Marcus out of the picture my sister was receiving. Marcus pulled the sheet up. It made a nice little tent over his hips. I started to giggle. He rolled over onto his side, and grabbed for me. I skirted his reach. "JoAnn, honey, we were sleeping." I tried to smile at my sister. "You were supposed to wait a week before you called."

  JoAnn was pushing a buzzing vacuum cleaner in front of her, avoiding my eyes.

  "Could you please put some clothes on?" she screeched.

  I grabbed my silk robe off the bed
post and slipped it on. Marcus wiggled his eyebrows. I turned the other way. "JoAnn, if you keep calling, I'll never get any… sleep."

  Marcus crawled over, leaning off the bed, and seductively ran his tongue up my leg.

  I swatted behind me even though I really wanted to pitch the damn phone through the open French doors, over the balcony, and straight into the damn lake.

  JoAnn glared into the screen. "Is the ringer working on the phone?"

  "Emphatically affirmative," Marcus mumbled, chewing on my robe.

  I tightened the robe, still swatting.

  JoAnn became impatient. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear that. Does it work or not?" she snapped. "Because I left you twelve messages and you haven't answered one."

  "Only twelve?" Marcus asked, his hand sliding over the inside of my knee.

  Stepping away from the bed, I grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked hard. "It works. I know the whole song by heart. I hear it in my dreams." I leaned and placed the phone on the dresser so I could tie my robe.

  Marcus pinched my ass. I yelped, getting a chuckle.

  JoAnn glared at me again. One hand, wrapped around the handle of the vacuum, slid in and out of the frame, while the other tossed a cord around. "Well, why didn't you return my calls?"

  "I was sleeping," I lied as Marcus let out a sexy growl. "You have to wait at least six days down there for it to be one day up here. Twenty-four hours there is about four hours here. That's why we thought you were only gone for six months, when in fact, in your world, it was three years. Got it?"

  "I don't have a dang calculator—it's hell trying to figure it out. And things happen and… and…" JoAnn stammered. "I've been pacing the floors for three days here. I can't help it if it's been less than a day there. I needed you."

  Marcus had my robe over his head, planting kisses on the inside of my thigh. Much to my dismay, my body responded. My legs splayed apart of their own accord, even though I mentally asked them not to.

  "JoAnn can you hold on for a second? I might need to call you right back." I bent over, leering at Marcus' smiling face between my thighs, and slammed my knees together, locking his head in place. He bit me.