The Forgiving Heart (The Heart of Minnesota Book 1)

by Riker, Becky

  “This is Karlijna,” Sig spoke from the girl's side.

  “Mrs. Gunderson,” the first man spoke again, “we regret to inform you that your husband, Captain Michael W. Gunderson, has gone missing in action and is presumed dead.”

  Karlijna could not speak. She had no idea what was being said. She was not Michael's wife. They must have the wrong house.

  “You. . .you can't be speaking of my,” she paused and looked up at Will who had tears in his eyes, “you can't be. My Michael is not gone. It is someone else who is named Michael.”

  “I'm sorry, Ma'am. His plane was shot down over Finland.”

  They turned to leave, but Karlijna stopped them, “When?”

  “Ma'am?”

  “How long ago did he disappear?”

  “I'm sorry, but we don't have that information?”

  Will cleared his throat, “Who would know?”

  The man gave a piece of paper to Will, “This will tell you how to keep in contact, but don't expect too much. They have a lot of requests to fill.”

  The men left, but the trio stood staring at the door for many seconds. Sig stretched out her arm to receive a sobbing Sara while Ellie came to lean against her father.

  Most of the young people left for home. A couple of them remained to clean the mess from the party. The family eventually moved to the sofa, but did not speak.

  At one point, Sara rose to thank those who had worked.

  “I really appreciate it, Sally. This means a lot to us.”

  “You call our family if you need anything. We're here for you.”

  Sara rejoined her family.

  “I'm sorry to seem stupid in this, but am I the only one who didn't know Karlijna and Michael got married?” Ellie asked.

  Sig and Sara looked first to Ellie, then to each other and, finally, to Karlijna.

  Sara spoke first, “When did you get married?”

  Karlijna chewed her lip.

  “Was there some reason you didn't tell us?” Sig was trying to understand.

  “She didn't know,” Will offered, surprising all the ladies. He stood up and walked to his desk.

  He rummaged around for a while before pulling out an envelope. He handed it to Sig, “Karlijna brought this letter from Michael when she came. I've been wondering what it meant, and now I know.”

  Sig read the letter aloud,

  “Dear Dad, it is nice to be able to write without fear of what the censors will omit. Nevertheless, I will try not to give away any top secrets.

  “I want to tell you first off, that I had to pull a few strings and a few tricks to get Karlijna sent to you. I won’t go into detail right now, but I thought you should know that it wasn’t simple. Karlijna doesn’t know what I had to do to get her over there so quickly, so it is no use asking her. I may tell you when I get back, but, hopefully, she’ll never have to know.”

  Sig stopped reading and looked up at Will.

  “It was how he got her a visa,” Will said.

  Ellie laughed, “How could he have married you without your knowledge? You'd have had to go stand up in front of a minister and say your vows.”

  Sig narrowed her eyes, “Not actually. She would just have to say, 'Yes,' or, 'I do,' in the right places, and she wouldn't have to go before a minister. It could have been a judge.”

  Karlijna looked dumbstruck, “I'm married?”

  Will patted her back, “It is a technicality, Karlijna.”

  Sig poked her husband, “You know Michael was doing what he thought was best.”

  Karlijna nodded, “I asked him, and he said he would tell me what happened, but it would be better not to know.”

  Sara was aghast, “You told him not to tell you?”

  Karlijna nodded, “I trust him to do what is best. He has never done anything to betray that.”

  “Except stick you in a marriage you don't want,” Sara couldn't believe what she was hearing. “What if you had fallen in love with someone else?”

  Karlijna glanced up at Ellie, a look passing between them. Ellie's eyes displayed compassion.

  Will cleared his throat, “I'm going to call this number tomorrow and start writing letters. We'll find out how long ago Michael disappeared, he looked to his wife. “We'll find him.”

  Sig's eyes never left Karlijna's face, “We will.”

  The family prayed and went to their rooms. There was not much sleeping going on. The occupants of the house were either crying or praying.

  “Please, Jesus, please,” Karlijna whispered over and over. She could not think to pray any more.

  Karlijna was the first one up the next morning. Ellie found her in the kitchen making coffee.

  “I hope you're making that strong,” she remarked.

  “I am.”

  “I'm so sorry about what Michael did,” Ellie jumped into what she was thinking. “I know it stinks to be married to him when you want to be with someone else, but maybe it's like my dad says, and it doesn't have to stay that way.”

  “Ellie,” Karlijna began to cry, “please don't talk like that.”

  “Don't tell me you're going to stick with it?” Ellie sat down with a thump. “That goes beyond even your normal sense of honor. My brother had no right –”

  “Stop! Ellie, stop!” Karlijna was yelling at her friend, “Do not talk about Michael like that. He was doing what he thought was best.”

  Ellie wasn't sure whether she should laugh or cry or stand up and cheer. Karlijna rarely spoke loudly and she never yelled.

  Karlijna calmed herself immediately, “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled.”

  Obviously, she had surprised herself as well.

  “It's Michael,” Ellie whispered.

  Karlijna looked at her friend, wondering why they were having to confirm who they were talking about.

  “I can't believe I didn't see it,” Ellie was smiling. “I should have known when you never gave any boy a second glance and you wouldn't tell me who it was. You're in love with Michael.”

  Karlijna shrugged.

  Ellie shook her head, “It sure is a good thing since you’re married to the guy.”

  Karlijna went to the stove and began stirring the oatmeal, “It isn't a good thing. He's been writing to Melba.”

  “No, he hasn't,” Sig entered the kitchen, “he stopped writing to her a long time ago.”

  “But she's always reading them,” Ellie replied, “and telling us what he said.”

  “She may read them often, but he hasn't written to her in some time. He told me she wanted more than he could ever give her, so he stopped writing.”

  A thought occurred to Karlijna, “I hope he never got my last letter.”

  Ellie was visibly confused, but Sig laughed, “Are you afraid you gave yourself away, and he won't want to write to you anymore?”

  “I didn't even mean to send it,” she admitted. “I wrote it in the middle of the night and by morning I had decided to throw it.”

  Sig laughed as she began to set the table, “But we found it and sent it. I suppose I should apologize, but I'm not going to.”

  “It isn't your fault anyway,” Karlijna shook her head, “but I'm going to just be another girl who has taken his friendship and tried to force love on him instead.”

  Sig stopped setting the table, “So that's why you were so worked up about not getting any letters.”

  “I told him he didn't have to write if I had made him uncomfortable.”

  “It never hurt a man to hear that a girl was in love with him.”

  Ellie was pouring milk while watching the exchange, “That's probably true, Karli. Maybe he appreciated it.”

  “Maybe he didn't get it,” Karlijna muttered.

  Sig walked to the doorway and called to her husband and daughter, “Breakfast is on.”

  “It is one thing to have a declaration of love from a girl you love, but it would be another to have it from a friend. I don't want him to feel obligated to me.”

  “He is,” Ellie
reminded then, “actually obligated to you. He married you.”

  “I don't want a man to take me because he feels obligated.”

  Sig spoke softly, “Funny. That's just what Michael said.”

  Karlijna looked up, “Huh?”

  Sig moved in front of Karlijna and squeezed the girl's shoulders, “I want you to do something for me. I want you to reread all the letters Michael sent to you, but I want you to do it with a different mindset. Look at them from the viewpoint of a man who just married a young lady to get her out of a bad situation. Take that fact into consideration when you read his words. Thinks about what you might expect a man to be feeling if he was, indeed, in love with you. I think, when you are done reading them, you will not see a man who is writing to you out of obligation.”

  Karlijna stood confused for a minute, then, “I hope he did get my last letter.”

  Ellie giggled just as Will and Sara entered the room.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Ellie and Sara left for their respective schools at the appointed time. None of the family was willing to consider that the US government was right in their assumption Michael had died, so they decided to carry on as planned.

  Louisa and John were happy to have Karlijna with them. She was a hard worker and had a pleasant attitude. They were not so convinced the government was wrong, however, and found her frequent prayers for Michael's safety and letters to him disconcerting.

  “Karlijna,” Louisa came running out of the house, “come quick. You need to hear what is going on.”

  Karlijna was bottle feeding a young calf, “I'm almost done, Louisa,” she called, “I'll be there in a minute.”

  Louisa found her in the barn, “I'll finish. You go listen to the radio.”

  Karlijna ran to the house and stepped out of her barn boots before going to stand in the kitchen next to the radio. Louisa came in a few minutes later to find her still there, tears running down her face.

  Later that night, she wrote to Michael.

  Michael, Sept. 4, 1944

  I heard today that the Canadian army has liberated Belgium. My friends are free. It sounds like it was hard won, and many died. I grieve for those who are lost, but I can rejoice knowing my friends are now able to begin rebuilding their lives. I pray this peace will be better and last longer than the last peace – that my people will now prosper.

  I hope you are being cared for. It makes my heart ache to think you may be in a prison somewhere with not enough to eat, or insufficient clothing for the coming winter. I wonder if you are well or if you were injured in the crash.

  Please come home soon. The war will end soon – it must end soon.

  I have not spoken of the letter I wrote the night of my birthday because I have not known what to say. I think I know now. I had not intended at first to send that letter, but I am glad it was sent. I hope you had the opportunity to read it before you left so you left knowing how I love you. I will always love you.

  John tried to talk to me again about ceasing my letter writing, but I know you live.

  Even if they think it strange, I will continue to pray for you night and day.

  Love,

  Karlijna

  Ellie wrote a couple times a month to tell Karlijna how she loved school and how many handsome young men there were in her classes. Sara never wrote directly to Karlijna, but sent her greetings through Sig or Louisa.

  Dear Michael, November 1, 1944

  We have heard that Norway has been freed from the Nazi powers. I am praising the Lord for this, not only for the people who were trapped there, but also because I believe you are somewhere in that region.

  I told you once that worry does no good – it is only prayer that makes a difference. I am giving myself the same lecture every day – sometimes several times in one day.

  John has taught me to milk cows. I enjoy it thoroughly which amuses John and Louisa to no end. They are grateful, however, because I am usually the first one up and doing it every morning.

  John has insisted on paying me for my work. I think it should be enough to be fed and housed, but he says a farm hand should have some spending money as well. I enjoy being a farm hand. I think it is my favorite job so far.

  I am praying you are being kept aware of the progress being made by God through the Allies.

  Karlijna

  “Are you enjoying your time here?” John reached across the table for the butter one cold December morning.

  “I love it,” Karlijna opened her flaky biscuit. “I'm thinking of buying some land and starting my own farm,” she joked. “That way I'll never have to leave.”

  Louisa laughed, “Who would do the cooking while you were doing the plowing?”

  Karlijna laughed at herself, “Okay. I concede that plowing could be a problem.”

  John became serious, “Listen, Karlijna, you know that we'll do whatever you want with Michael's land. You can keep renting it to us or you can sell it.”

  Karlijna frowned, “Michael's land?”

  Louisa and John looked at each other and then at Karlijna, “You didn't know about Michael's land?”

  She shook her head.

  “My dad left his land to Willy and me,” Lou said. “Willy deeded his to his kids.”

  “So Ellie owns land?” Karlijna couldn't help but laughing at the idea of Ellie farming.

  John shook his head, “Sara sold hers to us and Michael bought Ellie's. We're renting Michael's land right now and that’s paying his mortgage.”

  Karlijna put her fork down, “I had no idea.”

  “He had planned to come and help us farm it after he got back, but now. . .”

  Karlijna smiled at John, “I know he planned to help you farm, but I wasn't aware of the whole arrangement.”

  Louisa stood up to get the milk, “We don't have to make a decision any time soon, Karlijna. You just let us know – talk about it with Willy if you want.”

  “I wouldn't sell Michael's land, Louisa,” Karlijna picked up her fork to resume eating. “I know he wants to farm again.”

  She could feel John and Louisa looking at her when the statement was made, but she wasn't going to believe Michael was dead without solid proof.

  Two days later, Karlijna came down to the kitchen to find Louisa getting sick in the bathroom.

  “Shall I get John?” she asked as the older woman when she emerged.

  “Don't you dare,” Louisa looked okay. “Our anniversary is in two days and I want to prove that I can keep a secret until then.”

  Karlijna looked as confused as she felt.

  Louisa laughed and went to start breakfast.

  Karlijna followed her, “Are you sure you don't want John?”

  Louisa hummed to herself.

  Karlijna had been thinking about going out to help John milk, but she decided to stay in to keep an eye on Louisa instead.

  She decided to try for normal conversation, “How long have you and John been married?”

  “Seven years.”

  Karlijna absorbed the information, “Why did you get married in December? That seems like an odd time.”

  “We were supposed to get married the following June, but my dad got sick and said he wanted to see me married, so we sped it up a little.”

  Karlijna felt a twinge of sadness, thinking of how her father would have liked Michael.

  “Did he live much longer after your wedding?”

  Louisa looked up from the stove, “We were married on the eighteenth and he died on Christmas Eve.”

  “That must make Christmas hard.”

  “It was that year and the next, but, honestly, he was ready to go. He had been battling cancer for a while, and, when the doctor told him he had about a month left. . .he just said his goodbyes.”

  “I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you were able to say goodbye.”

  Louisa turned and hugged Karlijna, “I am so sorry you didn't get that chance.”

  The women heard John at the door.

 
Louisa turned toward Karlijna with a finger on her lips, “Now, remember, not a word.”

  Karlijna helped get the food on the table before sitting down. They were praying when the truth hit Karlijna.

  She looked up at Louisa and raised her eyebrows in a question.

  Louisa just smiled, “Would you like some eggs, John?”

  Karlijna stared a little bit longer before picking up her glass to take a drink.

  “Louisa,” John looked between the ladies, “why is Karlijna looking at you like you've grown another head?”

  Karlijna nearly spat her milk across the table at his choice of words. As it was, she coughed and gagged, and had to excuse herself from the table.

  She managed to compose herself and return to the table to find Louisa turning on the radio, “Sig called,” she explained, “and said there was news on the war.”

  The three of them listened to a report saying the Germans had launched yet another attack.

  “What are they thinking?” John asked nobody in particular after the regular program resumed. “They’re losing. Can't they just give up?”

  “Hitler is not sane,” Karlijna reminded him. “He does not think like a rational human being.”

  Two days later John dropped Karlijna off at the Gunderson home.

  “I'll see you on Christmas,” she beamed at him.

  “Are you sure you don't want to tell me what Louisa got me for our anniversary?”

  “I never said I knew,” she reminded him.

  “Right,” he smirked. “Well, I'm taking her out to eat tonight, and she said I'll have to wait until then.”

  “And so you shall. Goodbye,” she shut the door, grabbed her bag and hurried upstairs.

  Sig had told her she would be out, so Karlijna was not surprised to find herself alone. She was surprised to find a letter from the Air Force on her bed.

  On top of the letter was a note from Will.

  Karlijna,

  I think this may be what we were waiting for. Don't wait for me to open it, but I'd like to read it when I get home.

  Will

  Karlijna ripped into it.

  Mrs. Gunderson:

  You asked for specific details regarding your husband's disappearance. We have enclosed the following report.

  On July 21, nineteen hundred hours, Captain Gunderson made contact with command as planned. He spoke briefly of his situation, told us he would make contact again at twenty-one hundred hours, and signed off again. At twenty-one hundred hours, Captain Gunderson failed to make contact. At twenty-two hundred hours, he made contact but was unable to communicate coherently. Two minutes into the contact, the communication went dead and command was no longer able to raise him.