Double Mocha, Heavy On Your Phone Number

by June Kramin

  “So sue me. I do. It just makes for brains, Ellie. It doesn’t mean that’s my goal every day. Look, I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it, but I promise I was working my way there. You didn’t want to talk about school or anything. I wasn’t about to force the subject of a dead fiancé.”

  “You’re right. It was much better this way. Please leave.”

  “No. We’re talking, damnit.”

  She hiccupped and yelled, “Shit!” Ellie hated having hiccups. She brought her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes.

  “You feeling okay?” he asked as he took her arm again.

  “I’m fine.” She tried to shake free, but almost fell in the process.

  “The hell you are.” He bent down and scooped her up. “Are you drunk?”

  She managed a, “No,” before she hiccupped again. “I’ve only had three glasses of wine.”

  “Three? That’s almost a whole bottle, Ellie. Did you have anything to eat all day?”

  “Do you care?”

  “Yes, I care, damnit!” He placed her on the bed and began going through her drawers looking for something for her to sleep in. He found a large shirt with the coffee shop logo on it and tossed it to her. “I’m going to find something for you to eat.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Bix found turkey burger patties and fried one up for her, topping it off with a slice of cheese. He removed a package of buns from the freezer and then buttered and grilled it. Dropping the works on a plate and grabbing a glass of water, he headed back into the room. She was lying there with her eyes closed, hugging a pillow.

  “Sit up. You need to eat something.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “I don’t give a shit. Sit up.”

  “Still the charmer.” She huffed and reluctantly sat up.

  He gave her the burger and she accepted it without a thank you and he left the room. Bix went to the refrigerator and got a beer, then leaned against the counter as he took a few long pulls from it. “What the hell am I doing?” he mumbled to himself.

  The story he gave her about his heart being broken wasn’t a lie. He was damn near engaged himself before finding his girlfriend in bed with his best friend. It seemed too cliché to be true or even admit out loud. They had claimed it was a drunken mistake, but he couldn’t find it in his heart to forgive either of them. This coming on the heels of him being laid off was too much to take and was the final shove to leave his home in Edina. It had been easier to move away than stay and deal with it.

  He hadn’t lied about money either. His computer degrees brought great pay and he had done quite well for himself over the years. Bix lived humbly and banked most of his paycheck. The market wasn’t the greatest for selling his house, but he had been able to find a renter. Hopefully that would help him ride it out until things turned around.

  Something about this area felt like home, even though he didn’t visit here much when he was younger. Maybe he just had enough of city life and enjoyed the quiet nights. Meeting Ellie right away was a bonus and almost too easy. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be, but he had to try. He was in love with her, as silly as it sounded so soon.

  He took another long pull from the beer and emptied it, then dropped it in her recycling bin. He was glad to see an empty plate on her nightstand when he walked back into the bedroom.

  “You want another one?”

  “No.”

  “More water?”

  “I’m not an invalid, Bix. Thank you, okay? Now please leave.”

  He walked to the opposite side of the bed and sat down.

  “You’re not getting in this bed.”

  “Wanna bet?” He crawled over to her and lay down then propped his head up on his hand. “Let’s talk.”

  “I don’t have anything to say to you.”

  “There’s a ton to say, Ellie. What happened to you is horrible, but there’s no reason to push me away because I found out.”

  “I’m pissed at you for hiding it from me, Bix, not because you know about it. If you had given me a chance, it would have come up eventually. I wasn’t ready to talk about it.”

  “We just found the story, babe.” He dared to stroke her arm. “You know the small town thing. Gramps heard your name and knew it sounded familiar. He probably went to school with your grandfather.” He gave her a minute to respond. When she didn’t, he continued. “I wanted you to be ready to tell me. I didn’t want to push it. Please talk to me.”

  “My head hurts.” She turned away from him and lay on her side.

  He scooted close and wrapped his arm around her. “I’m not leaving.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  Ellie had fallen asleep almost immediately. The wine and the day proving too much for her. She woke up at five o’clock sharp.

  “Damn internal clock.” She jumped when she felt Bix’s arm around her.

  “Good morning. Damn. Five a.m. does come early, doesn’t it?” He stretched and let out a loud groan.

  “Shit.” She made it no secret that she was upset he was in her bed. She picked his arm off of her, but he put it back. “I called in sick today. I don’t even need to be up yet.”

  “So go back to sleep.”

  “I would, but there appears to be a troll in my bed.”

  “Troll? Guess I’ve been called worse.”

  She rolled around to face him. “Give me one of those then.”

  He smiled and kissed her forehead.

  “Stop it, Bix.”

  “Can’t help myself. Okay, something worse than troll…football player.”

  “That’s not bad.”

  “Depends on who you ask. My senior year, this girl was ragging on me after a game at a house party. She said, ‘You football players are all alike. Big, dumb, and oversexed.’ I said, ‘Hey now. I’m not all that big.’”

  Ellie couldn’t help but laugh.

  “There it is.” Bix pulled her close and kissed her forehead again. “I really like you, Ellie. Please lighten up a little. I didn’t intentionally try to hurt you. I was trying for exactly the opposite.”

  She rested her head against his chest, but didn’t say anything.

  “We don’t need to talk about it till you’re ready, but don’t shut me out. Please.”

  After lying there quietly for a long time, she finally looked up at him. “Reach in the nightstand drawer.”

  He leaned back and opened the drawer then pulled out the frame that was in it. He leaned back placing his arm around her and they looked at it together.

  “That’s Tony. He was five years older than me. He was a great friend to both of my brothers. They did everything together. I went from being the little sister to kid around with to the one he couldn’t live without.”

  “You didn’t have the crush on him first?”

  “Actually, no. I was a tomboy, remember? I liked him to horse around with, not for dates and such. When he asked me to a movie one time, I was surprised to find out it was just us two and not a group. He tried to kiss me when he dropped me off and I freaked out.”

  “Did you tell your brothers?”

  “God, no. They would have killed him. I eventually got over it and I’m not really sure when it happened, but we did start dating. It was an adjustment for my brothers, but when we got engaged they were thrilled. They already considered him one of the family.”

  “Was he into the machines like you?”

  “Yes. We did everything together. Summers we mudded on the ATVs, winters we were on snowmobiles. We motorcycled through more states than I can count. It was hard losing a fiancé but even harder losing my best friend, too.”

  She leaned against him again and Bix placed the picture on the nightstand so he could hold her with both arms. “I’m sorry, Ellie. The last thing I wanted to do was cause you more pain.”

  There were still no more tears that she could conjure up. She had gotten sad telling him, but she felt comfort in his arms just the same. Ellie fell back asleep with him caress
ing her back.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Ellie woke up at seven and was startled to find her bed empty. She was sick of the roller coaster her emotions had her on lately. First she was mad when Bix showed up, but now she was lonely without him. The scent of bacon hit her nose and she smiled. He was still there. The door opened and the smell of coffee greeted her as well.

  “Time to rise and whine, sunshine.”

  “Don’t say wine,” she said, opening her eyes, but not sitting up.

  “You ready for coffee?”

  “I’m always ready for coffee.”

  “I guessed on how much grounds to add. I thought you’d want it strong this morning so I was a little heavy-handed.”

  “Good call.” She finally sat up and accepted the cup from him. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” He turned to walk away, but she stopped him.

  “Bix?”

  “Yes, dearest one?”

  “Why are you so nice to me? I’ve been so horrible to you.”

  He shrugged. “Can’t help who you love I guess.” He winked then returned to the kitchen.

  She came out in a pink terrycloth robe and matching fuzzy slippers. He saw her and smiled. Self-consciously, she ran her fingers through her hair. She hadn’t even brushed it before coming out.

  “No worries, you look gorgeous to me.” He returned his attention back to the bacon. “How do you want your eggs?”

  “No eggs. I’ll just have some bacon and get some toast on.” She placed her coffee on the counter and walked to the toaster.

  Just then the toaster popped up. “I’m already ahead of you.”

  “I’ll be toast bitch,” Ellie said as she went over to butter it.

  He laughed. “Toast bitch?”

  “We had to take turns making the toast in the morning. Toast bitch ate last.”

  “It really sounds like you had a lot of fun growing up.”

  “My parents made every chore fun.”

  “I’m sorry, babe.”

  “All I can do is be grateful my brothers weren’t riding with my parents or Tony. They had last minute tux issues and had to run into town early. Otherwise…” She let her sentence trail off. Bix turned the bacon off and walked over to her and took her in his arms.

  “I’m sorry for stirring this up for you after all this time.”

  “It’s not like it ever goes away, Bix. Some days are better than others, but it’s always there.”

  “Just tell me what I can do.”

  “You’re doing it.” She put her hands around his waist and tip-toed up for a kiss.

  After eating breakfast, they sat on the couch. Bix pulled Ellie’s feet into his lap, removed the slippers, and rubbed them.

  “Oh, now I know you’re looking to score points.”

  “I like to rub feet. Sue me.” She closed her eyes and leaned back. “So, since we have all the cards on the table, you want to talk about school?”

  She leaned up again. “If you read the articles, you know I worked at the hospital.”

  “I saw that,” he admitted. “Were you pre-med or something?”

  She shook her head. “No, I was a nurse. I only had a few months to go before I was fully licensed.”

  “So why did you quit?”

  She crossed her arms. “Because, Bix. I wanted to get into health care to help people.”

  “And?” he said, not understanding where she was going.

  “I couldn’t do shit for Tony. All the know-how…all the things we could do…there wasn’t a damn thing we could do to help him. I watched him die without being able to do a fucking thing except change his sheets.” She took her feet off his lap and stood. She walked over to the window.

  “Ellie. People die. Sometimes there isn’t a damn thing anyone can do about it. If a doctor quit every time he lost a patient, we would have no doctors left.”

  “I know that. I’m not an idiot.”

  “But that’s why you quit.”

  “There may be people out there than can do that; people that can admit defeat that way, but I can’t.”

  “You sure you just weren’t too close to the situation? Usually the hospital staff isn’t allowed to work on their relatives.”

  “I wasn’t supposed to either, but I was with him in the room the whole time. I felt completely helpless. He was never going to come out of it. Looking back, I’m pretty sure they kept him alive and did what they did because of me. I finally said to stop and donated his organs. The donor people contacted me a couple months later. The guy that got his heart wanted to meet me, but I just can’t bring myself to face him.”

  He picked her chin up. “You did a wonderful thing. You should let yourself feel good about it and let him thank you.”

  “It wasn’t my idea. I knew it was what Tony wanted.” Bix gave her another tight squeeze as he swayed with her. “You ever think about finishing school?”

  “No. I don’t and please don’t get in a fight with me about it either. It’s not what I want anymore, Bix. Please, just let it go.”

  “If the accident never happened, do you see yourself still a nurse?”

  “I don’t know. I had my doubts for a while; this was actually the final push.” She pulled him back over to the couch, sat down, and placed her feet in his lap again. “You may continue.”

  He complied with her request.

  “Certain aspects of the job were really hard. The lab work was great. I loved drawing blood and identifying things under a microscope or reading X-rays. Mingling with the patients was a fun part of it, but sometimes also the worst. It’s hard spending your day seeing people in agony and wishing there was more you could do. Have you ever been to a children’s cancer care ward? It’s heartbreaking. Not to mention giving an infant shots; I wanted to cry every time.”

  “But you did it because you knew you were helping them.”

  “That was the motivation to get me through the day, but it wore on me. I just wasn’t cut out for that kind of let down constantly.”

  “There had to be good, too.”

  “But the bad always seemed to outweigh it.”

  “Maybe your heart is too damn big.”

  “Whatever it is, I don’t think I’d go back to it.”

  “As long as you are doing what you honestly want. You know I don’t mind a coffee-slinging girlfriend.”

  “Girlfriend? Are we back to that?”

  “I didn’t know we ever left it.” He dropped her feet and got on his knees in front of her. “Come on, Ellie. Let’s go steady.” He waggled his eyebrows.

  She laughed hard and covered her mouth with her hand. “Go steady? Gee, Ritchie Cunningham, that’s a pretty big step.”

  “Just say you’ll be mine, babe.”

  “I can’t believe you even want me.”

  “Is that a yes?”

  She hesitated only for a moment before saying, “Okay.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Not wanting to push her, Bix accepted her answer and gave her a quick kiss. He sat next to her on the couch and took her hands in his. Things had gotten emotional; he wasn’t about to push for sex.

  “Do you want to do something since you have the day off?”

  “No. A lazy day at home sounds good. Besides, I’d hate to get busted by Fred. I feel terrible for lying to him.”

  “We could go snowmobiling and get away with it, I bet.”

  “He’ll call and check on me. I want to be here if he does.”

  “Checking up on you?”

  “Out of concern, not because he doesn’t trust me. That’s what makes me feel terrible about it. I was a bear yesterday. I didn’t want to submit anyone else to the wrath of my mood.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said again, gently stroking her cheek.

  “It was my own fault.” The phone rang. “That’s probably him now.” She got up to answer it.

  “Miss Freeman?”

  “Yes?”

  “This is Nurse Kennerly from the Ma
yo Clinic. Do you remember talking to me several months ago?”

  “Yes, I do.” Ellie looked up at Bix. “What can I do for you?”

  “Same as before. Mr. Nelson has called again asking if we’ve been able to contact you. He really wants to meet you to thank you.”

  “You’ve thanked me enough for him. Just tell him I wholeheartedly accept his gratitude.”

  “He wants to thank you personally.”

  “I’m afraid my answer is still the same.”

  “He’s back in the state, St. Cloud actually. He was hoping he could drive to see you this evening.”

  “I’m not ready for this,” Ellie said with her voice now shaking. “I can’t — ”

  Bix took the phone from her hand and spoke into it. “Can you excuse us one second please?” He placed his hand over the mouthpiece. “Is this the donor people?”

  “Yes. Please give me the phone back.”

  “The heart guy wants to meet you?”

  “Yes. Bix, please — ”

  “Do it, Ellie.”

  “I can’t!”

  “Yes, you can, babe.” He turned back to the phone. “Where would she need to go?” After a pause he said, “That’s only an hour from here. We can meet him. You have a number or something?” Bix covered the mouthpiece on the phone. “He’s in St. Cloud.”

  Ellie was pulling at Bix’s arm trying to free the phone from his grip. “No, Bix. Stop it.”

  He walked over to a drawer and pulled out a pen and paper and wrote down a number. “No, thank you,” he said, before hanging up. He looked at Ellie then braced himself, preparing to be smacked.

  “You had no right to do that!”

  “What’s the harm? The guy just wants to say thanks. We were just wondering what to do today and voila! A plan presents itself.”

  “Didn’t I just say a few minutes ago that they’ve asked before and I’m not ready?”

  “That was months ago. You’re ready now. Besides, now you have me to take you there.”

  “It wasn’t that I needed someone’s hand to hold, jackass.”

  “What then?”

  “It’s just…I don’t know. It’s creepy.”