Cave Bear Mountain

by Jo Sandhu

  ‘Eero and Ilmi have both gone to the Spirits,’ Kai said. He took Tarin’s cup and filled it from Petri’s flask. Tarin automatically took a sip and choked on the strong, fiery liquid.

  ‘Winter is hard on the elderly.’ Timo shook his head sadly.

  ‘And the others?’ Tarin hardly dared ask, but he had to know. ‘My mother? My father?’

  Kai gripped his shoulder. ‘Safe,’ he said. ‘And your brother and sisters. But Tarin, Asa has also journeyed to the Other World.’

  ‘Old Mother!’ Tarin closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He dropped his head on his knees.

  ‘Tarin, if we had known . . .’ Kai’s voice was filled with sadness. ‘If we had known, we would have taken them in. We would have sent men to help bring them here, or send them supplies. But we didn’t know.’

  ‘Bison Clan said the same,’ Aatos said. He wiped his nose with his sleeve. Tarin was surprised to see tears in the big man’s eye. ‘It wasn’t right to do that.’

  ‘To do what?’ The hairs on the back of Tarin’s neck rose. He glanced at the serious faces around the fire, and what he saw reflected in their eyes made him quail. Kaija gripped his hand tightly, and he returned her grip. Luuka sat very still, only his eyes moving from Kai to Tarin.

  Kai closed his eyes and rubbed his face. The anguish in his eyes scared Tarin more than his words.

  ‘What happened? You have to tell me!’

  ‘They . . .’ Kai stopped and swallowed. ‘They . . . took . . . Eero and Ilmi . . . and left them . . .’

  ‘No!’ The word burst from Tarin even before Kai had finished speaking.

  ‘They took them, Tarin. And left them on the steppes.’

  ‘No!’ Tarin covered his face. He didn’t care if the men saw him cry. His tears were not a sign of weakness. But he couldn’t look at their faces as the horror of what his clan had done sunk in.

  ‘They said Asa could stay, she has such knowledge of herbs and healing, but she refused. She wouldn’t leave Eero and Ilmi alone.’

  Huge sobs shook Tarin’s body.

  ‘There was no food. Your father was badly injured during a hunt.’

  Tarin raised his head and cried out.

  ‘Jarkko went to Bison Clan for help. That’s when he found Niko. But by the time he returned . . .’ Kai dropped his head. His voice wavered, lost in the darkness. ‘It . . . it was already done.’

  Tarin shook his head. ‘No. My father would never . . .’

  ‘Jarkko found them, Tarin. They were heading towards Bison Clan, but they didn’t make it. They had only been dead a day at the most. He said they looked as though they had stopped for tea, and just fallen asleep.’

  Words welled in Tarin’s throat. He pictured the three of them, lying there on the cold ground, snow dusting their hair and their pale faces. He knew what Old Mother must have done. She would have brewed the mustara root, or maybe she had something else – a secret only she knew. Either way, she wouldn’t have let them suffer.

  ‘My . . . father . . . would . . . not.’

  ‘Tarin, he had no choice!’

  ‘He would have starved himself rather than send another to their death.’

  Kai grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him, but Tarin pulled out of his grip. He was shouting, tears running down his cheeks. He pulled away from Kaija as she reached for his hand again.

  ‘My father would not have allowed that.’

  ‘Your father was near death, Tarin. He was attacked by a pack of dagger-tooths.’

  ‘No!’

  Tarin dropped to the floor and clasped his knees, rocking back and forth. Kai rested his hand on his knee and spoke gently.

  ‘It wasn’t your father’s doing.’

  Tarin stopped rocking. He raised his face. ‘Then . . . who?’

  ‘Many days and nights passed, while Kalle’s Spirit of Cave Bear battled Spirit of Dagger-tooth. As he lay on his furs, walking between the two worlds, Matti and Valo made the decision.’

  ‘Matti? My father’s brother? How could he do this to him? Brothers do not betray each other.’ Tarin paused, remembering the hatred in Taavo’s eyes the day they parted. He shook his head and wiped his eyes. ‘No. I don’t believe you. And Valo? Old Father? He is Spirit Keeper. He would not! Why are you lying to me, Kai? Why?’

  He pushed Kai away, and blinded by tears, stumbled towards the door and out of the earth-lodge.

  The cold air hit him like a wall of rock. It seared his throat and his lungs. He wiped the hot tears from his face and sat looking out over the steppes. The sky was too bright to see the stars, but Tarin knew they were there. All the hearth fires of those that walked with the Spirits. Somewhere up there was Old Mother’s fire, and Ilmi’s, and Eero’s. A sound behind him made him turn his head.

  ‘The others would have come, but I asked to speak to you alone, Tarin.’ Kai sat next to him, close, but not touching. He laid a hide of thick musk ox hair between them. ‘The night wind blows straight off the tundra,’ he said. ‘Even in Summer, its touch is like ice.’

  Tarin nodded, but didn’t take the hide. They sat in silence, both staring at the sky.

  ‘Did Markku tell you what happened?’ Tarin asked quietly.

  ‘Yes. And it was very difficult for him. He didn’t agree with the decision.’

  ‘I bet Miika agreed with his father.’ Tarin heard the bitterness in his voice.

  Kai looked at him thoughtfully. ‘Miika was very young when I left – about your age. Do you know what I remember most about him?’

  Tarin shrugged. He wasn’t interested in Miika.

  ‘I remember how scared he always was.’

  Tarin half-turned towards Kai, puzzled.

  ‘He had a father he dare not disappoint. Many times, Old Mother treated his bruises, and once, even a broken bone.’

  ‘I didn’t know,’ Tarin murmured. He wiped his sleeve across his eyes and Kai continued talking.

  ‘I saw Miika on his first hunt. The clan was hunting aurochs, and something had gone wrong. The herd stampeded too soon, and Miika was cut off from the rest of the hunters. When Markku and I found him, he was cowering on the ground, crying, because he was so frightened. An aurochs bull had fallen before him, with a broken leg. It should have been an easy kill. But Miika couldn’t move.’

  ‘But . . . if he didn’t make the kill, he wouldn’t have received his tattoo,’ Tarin said. ‘Markku made the kill for him,’ Kai said softly. ‘And he never told anyone. I only know because I was there, and I tell you now, only so that you may understand him better.’ Kai picked up the hide blanket and placed it around Tarin’s shoulders.

  ‘My brother is a good man,’ he said.

  Tarin nodded. He remembered Markku as a quiet, gentle man.

  ‘He wondered if Musk Ox Clan would have a place for him, Sanna and the baby. But in the end, he decided to return to Mammoth Clan because he knew it would break our mother’s heart. I told him we would welcome him if he should change his mind. Jarmo, also, may decide to leave. And Raisa. They are saddened by the deaths and look for a better future for their children.’

  The boys fell silent. From the lodge behind them, came the sound of singing. A deep, lilting voice rose on the air.

  ‘Aatos is a story-teller,’ Kai said. ‘And he tells many of his stories in song.’

  ‘His story sounds . . . sad.’

  Kai nodded. ‘They are good people here, Tarin. Living on the tundra is hard, and they lead a solitary life. But they are good men and women. They enjoy stories and song above all else.’

  ‘So, you’ll be staying here?’

  ‘Yes.’ Kai nodded. ‘This is my home, now.’

  ‘And I may have no home to go to,’ Tarin murmured. ‘How did this happen, Kai?’ He pressed his palms into his eyes. ‘Mammoth Clan was strong! If I hadn’t ruined the hunt.’

  ‘One failed hunt does not destroy a clan.’ Kai sat quietly for a moment, then continued. ‘As children, we look at our parents, and we think they are the world. We fo
rget that they are human, too, with failings and fears and weaknesses. I wonder now why my father sent me away to Musk Ox Clan. Did he see something in Mammoth Clan that I, as a child, did not?’

  Tarin felt a wet nose against his hand as Rohk came and sat next to him. He pulled him close and buried his tear-stained face in the thick fur round the wolf ’s neck. Kai reached a tentative hand forward and stroked the wolf, burying his fingers deep into the fur.

  ‘The world is full of pain, Tarin. Good people die. People with hate in their hearts prosper. I don’t know why. It is all a part of the Great Mother’s plan.’

  Tarin raised his head and smiled. ‘Now you sound like a Spirit Keeper.’

  Kai smiled as well. ‘That’s what I hope to be, Tarin. I am Kai of Musk Ox Clan, Apprentice Spirit Keeper of its people.’

  But what of me? Tarin wondered. Who am I now, after so many journeys?

  In his heart, he felt he would always be Mammoth Clan, but he was also Tarin of Wolf Clan and Tarin of Worj’s Clan. He was protected now not only by Owl and Mammoth, but by Wolf and maybe by Raven. He glanced at the sky. He hadn’t seen Raven since that day on the mountain, but he was often aware of the wolves looking to the sky, as though to see a dark-winged bird fly over.

  Whoever I am, Tarin thought, I carry a part of each of my clans and each of my totems with me, and they have kept a part of me with them. They have made me strong. Stronger than ever. But I may still not be able to save Mammoth Clan.

  The way to Noora’s camp followed the course of a swift-flowing river. Tarin was sorry to leave the snug earth-lodge, with its tangled bones and walls hung with thick furs. Almost, it had felt like home.

  Home . . . The word echoed through the emptiness inside him. He had hardly slept last night, but lay awake thinking of his clan and the sorrows they had faced since he had left. He kicked the ground savagely. He was supposed to save his clan. He was the one chosen to take the Mother’s Offering to the mountain, and he had failed. He once thought his failure would only mean he would never be able to go home, but now he realised his failure was responsible for the deaths of three people he loved, and maybe his father as well. If there was no Kalle to lead Mammoth Clan – what would happen to the others? To his mother, and Tuuli, and little Saara? His heart felt as heavy as a rock in his chest, but all he could do was put one foot in front of the other and follow the Musk Ox men.

  The strapping on his arm irritated him and, for the first time in many months, his leg was aching. He thought it was Old Mother’s way of talking to him. Each time he stumbled, Utu would hiss from his place on Tarin’s shoulder and peck his ear. Soon, Tarin’s ear was as sore as his leg. And his hand.

  He flexed his palm and felt it burn. Last night, when everyone else was sleeping, he had left his furs and walked down to the river. He’d breathed in the icy air and searched the skies with unseeing eyes. He had never felt so far from his home before, or so helpless, and like the heavy, twisted roots of the trees that grasped for life around the rocky canyons, a new anger had twisted around his heart. Now, he would have a new quest, a new purpose to drive him onwards.

  ‘Spirit of Owl, I make this blood pledge . . .’ he had whispered to the wind as he sliced a flint blade across his palm. He’d watched the drops of blood fall to the dry earth like tears. ‘Spirit of Mammoth, your child Asa now walks with you. Spirit of Deer, and Spirit of Fox, your children, Eero and Ilmi, have also journeyed to be with you in the Spirit World.’ He’d paused to collect his thoughts. Far away, a lone wolf howled. ‘The pain they felt in this world is over.

  But I pledge to one day avenge the wrong that was done to them.’

  He clenched his fist and felt the pain of the cut on his palm. Last night he had wanted to remember that pain, and carry it with him always. But now, as he put one foot in front of the other, he just wished one part of him would stop hurting.

  Kaija and Noora walked together. They were of similar age, although Noora was the taller.

  ‘Your River Clan is far from here?’ Noora asked.

  Kaija nodded. ‘Very far.’ She ran her hand across a stand of the tufted feather grass which had turned the grasslands into a silvery wave. ‘Even the plants here are strange to me,’ she said. ‘My home is in the forests, amongst the birch and willow and oak trees.’

  ‘It sounds beautiful,’ Noora said.

  Kaija smiled. ‘It can be. In Autumn, the leaves of the trees turn red and gold and it is like walking through beams of sunlight wherever you go.’ She stopped and flung her arms wide. ‘But this land of yours! You can see so far! It makes me want to run and run forever.’

  Noora returned her smile. ‘I thought when I first saw you that we must have met before, but if your home is so far away, I don’t see that we could have.’

  ‘Kaija! Noora!’ Luuka called. ‘We’re making a stop, and you two just keep walking!’

  The girls retraced their steps with a laugh.

  At a fork in the river, a copse of twisted alder and hawthorn offered protection from the wind. Petri started a fire while Tarin and Luuka refilled water flasks from the icy stream. They ate sparingly, but all were glad of a warming cup of tea. They had been walking for half the day, and still had a long way to go.

  Kaija joined Tarin where he was sitting on a rock looking out over the river and the grasslands beyond.

  ‘Tarin, I haven’t had a chance to tell you how sorry I am about your clan.’ She handed him a cup of tea and he wrapped stiff fingers around the cup. He nodded his thanks and stared into the steaming cup. Kaija settled on the rock next to him and sipped her own tea.

  ‘I don’t know if there’s ever a good time, or a good way to die,’ she said. ‘But I remember when the sickness took my clan, and there were some who were in so much pain, I found myself asking the Earth Mother to take them to her. To stop their pain and their struggle to breathe.’ Kaija’s voice wavered. ‘I couldn’t tell my mother my thoughts, because I believed then they were bad thoughts. How could I possibly wish death for someone? But now when I look back, I don’t think my thoughts were wrong. They were in so much pain.’

  Tarin sipped his tea and sighed. ‘Ilmi knew her time was coming. Eero suffered more with each season that passed, but still . . . to just leave them.’

  ‘I know.’ Kaija swallowed. She plucked a spent seed head from a tuft of grass and watched the seed spiral away in the breeze. ‘We all have this journey to make, and what’s done is done. They are no longer in pain and the children of your clan have survived.’ She got to her feet and reached her hand out to Tarin. ‘And now we have to go and help bury two children who will never have that chance.’

  It wasn’t until evening approached that they crested a hill and Tarin had his first glimpse of the Ungirski camp: a cluster of long, oblong shelters sat on a grassy terrace above a wide bend in the river. They had the same animal hide roofs that Tarin was familiar with, but instead of mammoth bone, the Ungirski houses had walls of rough wood. Large bones were used to hold the hides in place. They didn’t look as sturdy as the earth-lodges, but they snuggled against a wooded embankment and were protected from wind.

  At first, the camp looked deserted, but as they came closer, Noora whistled, a loud, piercing sound that reminded Tarin of a kite’s whistle, and the door to the largest lodge opened and people streamed out to greet them. An elderly woman wrapped her arms around Noora and wept.

  ‘Kirsi, see, do not cry.’ Noora wiped the old woman’s tears and smoothed her hair. ‘See, I have brought Kai, to honour the little ones.’

  Kai opened his arms and Kirsi fell into them. ‘My babies! My babies! All gone!’

  ‘Help her into the lodge, Kai,’ Noora said, for the weeping Kirsi could no longer stand. ‘Kaija, will you come too? That tea you made earlier could help calm her.’

  Kaija nodded and followed them inside.

  The men left outside shook their heads and looked grave. It was only as Timo made the introductions that they realised two wolves were mingling freely w
ith them. One or two of the men moved quickly away, but others were fascinated and eager to meet Rohk and Nilkka.

  ‘Osku, we greet you in this time of trouble,’ Aatos said to the leader of the Ungirski. He gripped the man by the shoulders in the way of their traditional greeting. ‘How did the two little ones come to this?’

  Osku shook his head and returned Aatos’s grip. ‘If we only knew. The scamps took a punt onto the river before the camp was awake, taking with them the new bison hair nets we were weaving. One of the girls was out collecting water. She saw the punt dip and the girl, Elli, fall into the water. Juha dived after her, but somehow the net became tangled around them.’ He took a deep breath and rubbed his face. ‘By the time the camp was roused . . . it was too late.’

  ‘A tragedy indeed, for all of you, but especially for Kirsi,’ Timo said.

  ‘Ahh, poor woman.’ Osku shook his head. ‘I fear we will lose her to grief. She feels their deaths sorely. When she lost her own baby, we thought she too would die. It was only looking after Elli and Juha that gave meaning back to her life. Now that they walk in the Spirit World, I don’t see Kirsi remaining with us much longer.’

  Inside the lodge, the light was dim. The women of the camp sat around in small groups. Some were weeping and covering their faces with clay and ashes. Others were sewing fine mammoth ivory beads onto reindeer pelts and murmuring together in subdued voices.

  ‘My babies,’ Kirsi wept. Kai laid her on a thick fur and took a scented leather cloth from one of the women. He bathed Kirsi’s face and took her hands in his.

  ‘Be at peace now, Kirsi. Your babies are with the Mother.

  They feel no more pain, or hunger, or fear. Only joy and love.’

  ‘How do you know this, Kai?’ she cried, clutching hold of his hands.

  ‘I know,’ he said, ‘because it is the gift the Earth Mother gives to us after our journey here on Earth. It is her gift of love and peace to her children.’

  Kirsi sighed and lay back on the fur. ‘Look after my babies, Kai. See that all honours are given them.’