by Donna Alward
He stared at her. “Hide in the bedroom? Don’t be ridiculous. If it’s privacy you want, say the word and I’ll be the one to leave.”
Rowan was still crying. Laura looked as if she wanted to say something but instead she got out and opened the back door, took Rowan out of the seat and brought her up front. Tanner made sure he focused on whatever was outside his window and not the rustling sounds happening beside him.
“Tanner,” she said softly. “It’s okay. See?”
He looked over. She’d spread a soft flannel blanket over her shoulder, creating a discreet drape over Rowan’s head. But he saw the little feet resting on the curve of Laura’s belly, heard the quiet suckling sounds and realized something incredibly new, strange and disconcerting.
The natural act of a woman feeding her child was an intimate and profound thing, filling him with awe and respect and affection and...
He swallowed against a lump in his throat and turned away. And love. There was something so feminine and powerful about it. Rowan must have pulled back and he heard her cough a little bit, and Laura’s attention was diverted as she adjusted things. When Tanner glanced over, he caught a glimpse of creamy white breast, and Rowan’s soft little head tucked securely against her, obscuring any view of Laura’s nipple.
He shifted in his seat and stared, unseeing, out the windshield as minutes ticked by. He was marrying this woman and she was asking him to be her friend. Entertaining thoughts that ran deeper than friendship would only complicate things. But how did you stop thoughts?
“She’s asleep, Tanner. I’m going to put her back in her seat and we can be on our way.”
He looked over. Laura had adjusted her blouse and it was as if nothing had happened. He pasted on a smile. “No problem. Kid’s gotta eat.” But when Laura carefully got out to fasten Rowan in her seat, Tanner let out a huge sigh. There was no sense fooling himself. He’d felt something unexpected when he saw the curve of her breast, pictured more. It had been desire, pure and simple. She was a pretty woman, and she was kind and generous, too. A man would be crazy not to fall for that.
He’d have to be careful if they went through with this marriage. She wasn’t interested in him that way and he didn’t want to make things weird. It was just the stress of the day, he reasoned, and the intimacy of the moment that had gotten to him.
When Laura got back inside the truck, she treated him to a wide smile. “Thank you for stopping,” she said. “It’ll save me from an embarrassing moment or ten later on.”
“No problem,” he replied, and put the truck in reverse.
He needed to get them to the ranch. Because if they sat here in the middle of nowhere for much longer, he was going to do something stupid. Like kiss her. And that would throw a monkey wrench into all their plans.
* * *
LAURA FOLDED HER hands in her lap, but inside, her stomach was flip-flopping like one of the trout that Gramps used to catch on their Saturday morning fishing trips. It had been totally considerate of Tanner to stop, and a relief, too. But she’d thought he’d hop out of the truck, take a walk. Instead he’d stayed, and she’d tried to be discreet.
Until Rowan had coughed and pulled back, and Laura had had to adjust the baby and blanket. The flannel slipped and for a few moments her breast had been exposed.
It’s just a breast, she reminded herself. She was pretty sure Tanner had seen one before. The preposterous idea nearly made her laugh. The difference was he hadn’t seen her breast before, and he probably hadn’t been in a situation where he was on his way to tell his parents he was marrying a woman he didn’t love, and on a temporary basis.
And then there was the fact that the idea of him seeing her sent a strange tingling to her core. It wasn’t much of a stretch to imagine what it would be like to be loved by a man like Tanner. He was handsome, charming, sexy as hell. Chivalrous and kind. He’d be a gentle lover, she suspected. Gentle and yet intense...
Snap out of it, Laura, she thought, and forced herself to look out the truck window instead of stealing glances at him. Those were her feelings, but they weren’t real, she was sure of it. Besides, she was pretty sure there was nothing sexy about watching a woman breast-feed. What had he called it? Oh yes. Practicalities. Not a thing romantic about that, was there?
There was no danger of Tanner having similar feelings, so she might as well push them aside and stop worrying about it.
Her heart rate was nearly back to normal when he finally reached the front gate to the lane leading to the Hudson house. It was probably three times the size of her little bungalow, well-kept and homey looking with balcony planters on the front railing and a pair of wooden rocking chairs out front. A car and a truck already sat in the drive, and she looked over at Tanner, silently questioning.
“My mom’s car and my dad’s truck,” he explained, but she noticed a new tightness to his jaw. This wasn’t going to be an easy hour. They were expected for dinner, but as Tanner’s obvious nerves proved contagious, Laura wondered if they’d even stay that long.
Might as well get it over with. Cole and Maddy and the boys weren’t there at least. Smaller numbers were easier to manage in her limited experience.
“You ready?” she asked, trying to lighten her tone.
“Are you?”
“Tanner, they can’t say anything worse than what I’ve heard whispered around town. But they’re your folks. Your relationship with them is important. I’ll be fine. It’s you I’m worried about.”
He reached over and took her hand. “You’re a strong woman, you know that?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think I’m that strong. Maybe I just know what I can’t change so I deal with it.”
Her fatalistic point of view wasn’t as cheering as she’d hoped, but Tanner gave her fingers a final squeeze. “So we’re sticking to the seeing-each-other-since-December story?”
She nodded. “I still think it’s best.”
“Okay. If that’s what you want.”
She retrieved Rowan from the back and cradled the sleeping baby against her shoulder. Tanner solicitously carried the diaper bag and they walked up to the front door. Laura’s insides truly trembled this time. Her grandparents were one thing, but this...this was quite another. She’d probably be judged. Be found lacking. Be asked intrusive questions and she’d be lying, something she was getting used to and didn’t like about herself at all.
Tanner must have sensed her anxiety because he’d been about to knock on the door, but instead dropped his hand and turned to face her. His eyes were troubled as he stared down at her, his lips a thin line. “We don’t have to do this.”
“Meet your parents? Or get married?”
“Either,” he confirmed. “I’ll help you find another way.”
“Why?” she asked, keeping her voice low. Rowan’s warm breath made a damp patch on her collar. “Why are you doing this? Why do you even care?”
He lifted his hand and put it gently along her cheek. “Because five months ago I sat in an ambulance with one of the bravest women I’d ever met. That’s the only birth I’ve ever attended, do you know that? Something happened to me that day, and it made me look at things differently. Then when I got to know you better, and you trusted me with the truth... Laura, no one should have to go through that alone. I’d like to think we’re friends. And friends help each other.”
“This is a pretty big favor. It goes well above and beyond friendship, Tanner.”
His charming grin was back. “I don’t see anyone else beating down my door looking for happily ever after,” he said lightly, chuckling. “This isn’t a sacrifice for me, Laura. But somehow I don’t think I’ll be able to convince you of that.”
“I don’t deserve this,” she murmured, and the hand on her cheek slid down to cup her chin.
“I don’t want to hear you say that agai
n, you hear? Everyone deserves a second chance.” And he leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose. Just as the front door opened and Ellen stood in the doorway.
Chapter Eight
Laura stepped back quickly, holding Rowan tight in her arms. Her cheeks flared; she could feel the heat rush into them as Tanner turned to his mother and offered a wide smile. “Hi, Mom.”
“Sweetheart,” she said, moving forward. “And, Laura. Welcome. Come on in.”
Ellen said nothing about the tender moment she’d interrupted, but it had certainly set the tone. Laura could feel Ellen’s assessing gaze as they went inside, and Tanner put the diaper bag down on a chair just inside the living room. If he’d wanted to give the impression of romance right off the bat, he’d done a fine job.
“Your dad should be up from the barn any moment,” Ellen said. “Would either of you care for a drink or something?”
Tanner looked at her, questioning, and Laura forced a smile. “Maybe some water. That would be great.”
“I’ll get it,” he said, and went to the cupboard for a glass. “Have a seat, Laura. We can sit and relax for a while. Right, Mom?”
“Of course.”
And still there was that guarded, questioning look. “So,” Ellen said, her tone deceptively smooth. “You’re the one Tanner’s been so secretive about.”
Laura opened her mouth and closed it again, unsure of how to reply. Tanner handed her a glass of water and smiled. “A man my age doesn’t want his mother to know everything,” he teased. He looked back at Ellen and sent her an outrageous wink. “We wanted some privacy until we sorted a few things out.”
“I see.”
Laura doubted that his mom did see, but Tanner was doing a wonderful job of deflecting and she went to his side. They walked into the living room and sat on the sofa while Ellen sank into a plush wing chair. “Thank you for having us over, Mrs. Hudson.” This was the woman who, for a short while anyway, would be her mother-in-law. She’d rather have her as an ally than an adversary.
Rowan shifted on her shoulder and Laura made a small adjustment, then saw a softening of Ellen’s expression as she looked at the baby. Rowan might just be the ticket here, she realized. From everything Tanner had said, Ellen doted on Maddy’s twin boys.
“This is Rowan,” Laura said softly, the smile coming naturally as it always did with regards to her daughter. “She’s five months old.”
“She’s beautiful,” Ellen acknowledged, a little of the strain leaving her voice. “She’s got such a lovely head of dark hair.”
Ellen looked up at Laura. Laura’s hair, of course, was like waves of copper. Clearly, Rowan didn’t get her hair from her mother.
“It was a little lighter when she was first born,” Laura offered, touching the soft cap of hair.
“You and Tanner. You’re involved?”
“Mom...” Tanner began, but Laura shook her head at him.
“It’s okay, Tanner. She’s your mom. And while Rowan is still so very tiny, I can imagine that moms always look out for their kids, no matter how old they are.” She met Ellen’s gaze. “Tanner has been so kind to me ever since the day Rowan was born. He’s a rare thing these days, I think. A gentleman through and through.” She grinned now, remembering. “He even passed muster with my grandfather, and he’s a tough nut to crack.”
“You’ve spent time with Charlie and Patricia?” There was a note of censure in Ellen’s tone, as though she was annoyed at being left out.
“Charlie mostly,” Tanner said, jumping into the conversation. “He stayed with Laura when Patricia was in the hospital a while back. I ran into Laura and Charlie at the diner one day, and then had dinner with the both of them. He’s a real character.”
“Always was,” Ellen said affectionately. “I’m sorry, Laura. This is just a bit awkward. Considering Maddy and everything. No sense dancing around it.”
“I know.” Her throat felt tight and her chest small as she faced yet another person’s censure. “Maddy and I have made peace, Mrs. Hudson. We talked just before Christmas. Not that we’re BFFs or anything, but we’re good.”
“How can that be?”
Laura pursed her lips. “Honestly, that’s between Maddy and me. You’ll have to ask her.” And Laura hoped if she did she’d keep her secret as she’d promised.
“Laura,” Tanner said quietly beside her. She knew what he wanted. He wanted her to tell the truth. And oh, she was tempted. Just as she had been for months, with the words to vindicate herself sitting on her tongue, ready to be spoken. And then she thought of Spence, and Rowan, and the reason for doing all this in the first place, and she swallowed them down like a bitter pill.
“Mrs. Hudson, there are things you don’t know, and things I can’t tell you. But if Maddy can forgive me, maybe you can, too?”
The back door opened and shut and Laura realized that Tanner’s dad had arrived. The sudden noise of the door stirred Rowan, who nuzzled against Laura’s shirt and then lifted her head, rubbing one chubby fist over her nose as she blinked, coming awake. John came in from a back room—Laura assumed it was a back door to a mudroom or some such—and halted at the scene before him. She and Tanner were on one side of the living room, sitting stiffly on the sofa. Ellen was across from them, ensconced in the chair. And they were clearly on different sides of the conversation.
“Hope I’m not too late,” he said cautiously.
“Of course not, Dad.” Tanner stood and stepped forward to shake his father’s hand, causing a look of confusion to pass over John’s face. “Have you met Laura?”
“Mr. Hudson,” she said, smiling and offering a small nod. She held Rowan with her right arm, which made shaking hands cumbersome, so she decided a smile would have to do.
“Hello,” he said, then looked at Tanner, glanced at his wife, and back to Laura again. “Who have we here?”
“This is my daughter, Rowan. Tanner helped deliver her last December.”
It was easy to tell when John understood. His eyes widened slightly and his gaze darted to Tanner again. “Oh,” he said, and that was all for a few moments. Then his eyebrows lifted again and he peered at her shoulder. “She’s a sweet one.” He smiled and his whole face softened. John Hudson liked babies. That might work in their favor, too.
“Yes, she is. Sleeping through the night most of the time, which is a great relief to me.” Laura felt herself relax just a little. Tanner’s father felt like an ally. Mothers were bound to be the overprotective ones, weren’t they? Particularly with their sons?
There was a momentary distraction as Ellen asked John about a cup of coffee and gave him a phone message, so Laura turned to Tanner and let out a breath.
“Your mom isn’t happy.”
“She’ll come around.”
“But we haven’t even mentioned the wedding yet.” That troubled her. And she’d brought Maddy into it without intending to. “Right now she just thinks we’re dating.” Laura bit down on her lip.
She needed to compose herself if they were going to get through this visit. “Could you show me where the bathroom is? I need to excuse myself for a moment.”
“Of course.”
Tanner led her down a short hall, but once there he reached for Rowan. “Let me take her for a few minutes.”
“Are you sure?” She realized he hadn’t held her much, except for that brief time at the café when she’d turned her back and changed her shirt.
“Of course I’m sure. I’ve held her before. And it’s only for a few minutes.”
She eased Rowan into his arms, seeing his biceps curl in his shirt sleeve as he bent his arm to cradle her close.
She sighed, getting a swirly, silly feeling at seeing her baby daughter in his strong arms. What was it about tough men and babies and puppies that turned women into mush anyway?
She turned around and resolutely went into the bathroom and shut the door behind her.
When she returned to the living room, Tanner sat on one end of the sofa, with Rowan sitting on his thigh and leaning back against the wall of his chest, patting her hands together happily. His parents were seated in matching chairs across from him, smiling at Rowan and something Tanner was saying.
He looked up when she approached. “Hey. I was just telling Mom and Dad about you and your battery and then Ro had a big burp. Cracked us up.” He grinned at her, as if her daughter’s gas was the most amusing thing in the world. God, he could be sweet.
“Classy,” she replied, trying to keep the mood light for as long as they could. She sat down beside him, not too close, but close enough. Rowan seemed content, so Laura left her where she was. It was strange, knowing she and Tanner weren’t an actual couple, and yet feeling a certain intimacy with him that suggested they were.
“So you’ve been seeing each other awhile now, I take it?” This came from John.
Tanner met Laura’s gaze. His eyes were warm on hers—he was a better actor than she expected. Then he took her hand. “For a while,” he agreed, looking back at his parents. “We came over today to tell you we’re getting married.”
The warm vibe shattered as Ellen’s mouth fell open and John’s mouth pursed and a furrow appeared on his brow.
“Married?” There was no way to describe his mother’s tone other than shocked and dismayed.
He nodded, the same relaxed smile on his face, but his fingers had tightened over hers.
“Yes, married.” He faced them squarely. “Considering the circumstances, we’re going to have a small civil ceremony and I’ll be moving into her place.”
“Circumstances? You’re not... I mean, Rowan’s so small.”
It took a few moments for Laura to comprehend what Ellen was asking, and as soon as she understood, heat rushed to her face. “Oh, gosh no! I’m not pregnant, if that’s what you mean.” She was so flustered she said the only thing that popped into her head. “Goodness, I just started getting a full night’s sleep.”
