by Lilly Wilder
10
It still took some time for the reality of the situation to settle in my mind. Talking about the past had made Finn overwhelmed with emotion and he spent some time composing himself. I was beginning to see that there were layers to him, and I found myself quite drawn to him, although at the same time felt guilty, as though I was betraying Cal. We’d all been through heartache, and we were all still suffering. I felt close to them because they knew how heavy it was to carry the weight of sorrow with them all the time.
The way Finn described being a dragon made it sound exhilarating. His descriptions were vivid and exciting, and I wished I could feel what it was like to soar through the air. I was still unsure about the mechanics of the whole process, and Finn found it difficult to explain much of it to me because it was such and instinctual thing for him.
My brain simmered with questions and I had to stop myself from barraging him with them, for he was still suffering from the tale he had told me and the fact that Cal was being held by Zerinthor. I could tell from the way Finn spoke about Cal that the feelings between them ran deep, and that perhaps Cal hadn’t been honest with me when he’d said there was no going back. But surprisingly, far from being put off by the two men, it actually made them more attractive; to know that they shared a deep romantic bond was sexy, alluring, and it made me wonder what it would like to have that. However, I did have to put aside my hopes of being with Cal, or Finn for that matter. It was clear that they were meant for each other.
I wanted to get moving as soon as possible, but Finn told me otherwise.
“Isn’t it going to take us a while to get to the mountains?” I asked, “Shouldn’t we be leaving now? The longer we take the more pain Cal is going to be in.”
Finn looked at me strangely.
“How exactly do you think we’re going to be going to the mountains?” he asked.
“Well, I just assumed we’d drive and then hike up…” I said, my voice trailing off as I realized what he was implying. Finn crossed his arms and gave me a cocky smile, then told me that we had to wait until dark so that we could leave under the cover of night.
I had a shower and changed my clothes, and then I sent a message to Misty to tell her that I was going to help Finn look for Cal, although I didn’t tell her anything about their true nature. Finn had sworn me to secrecy, and I wasn’t about to betray his trust. Zerinthor was waiting for us, and I didn’t care how angry he was, he wasn’t going to hurt Finn and Cal. If they couldn’t talk sense into this beast, maybe I could.
*
The day passed and I was growing more agitated with every hour ticked by. I kept thinking of what Cal was going through. There were moments when I was tempted to ask what Zerinthor would be doing with Cal but thought against it. Finn was tortured enough already. He paced the floor and barely settled. He kept gazing at the window, as though he wanted to fly out there straight away.
“Are you sure it’s not safe for us to go?”
“No, not at all. I wish it was, but it’s not worth the risk. If we went out now, we might never get to see Cal again. We have to do things the proper way. We have to be wise about things. We can’t let our emotions rule us,” he said, and he spoke as though he was saying a mantra.
Before we left, I did some quick research about dragons and it was difficult to tell what was truth and what was myth, or if there was indeed any difference. The tales told of different races of dragons, each of them with difference characteristics. The blue dragons, which I assumed Finn was a part of given his eye color, were said to be the wisest of all, the black dragons were dangerous and prone to violence, and very territorial. The white dragons were pure and playful, and the green were very pragmatic. There were other colors, and the tales even went into stories about metallic dragons. There was a rich culture and mythology surrounding this ancient race, and the more I read the more I wanted to know. I made a promise to myself to ask Finn and Cal more about the history of their race. It astounded me that there was this secret race living on Earth that was so separate and hidden from our eyes.
I wanted to know more, but that would have to wait. First, we had to retrieve Cal from Zerinthor. Even the name was enough to strike terror in my heart, and I didn’t look forward to meeting him face to face. The beast seemed cruel, and although he had suffered heartache, he had no excuse for acting the way he did. Taking Cal away and holding him hostage was a horrible act, and I could only hope that we’d be able to stand up to him somehow.
Eventually the sun dipped below the horizon and the moon took over the celestial throne. Darkness spread across the city and it was time for us to move. As soon as the sun set, Finn jumped to his feet and rushed outside. We made our way to a nearby park where we had the cover of trees. It was all deserted and nobody else around, and we made sure to check over and over again.
“How is this going to work?” I asked, looking at him uneasily. It doesn’t really need to be said that I had no experience of riding a dragon, and I still wasn’t entirely sure I believed that he could shift into one. Finn strode up to me and put his hands on my shoulders and looked me deep in the eyes.
“When I change, I won’t be able to talk to you, not with words anyway, but it’s still me in there. You don’t have to be afraid. I won’t hurt you. When I change, just get on my back and hold on tightly. I’ll be in full control at all times. You won’t be in any danger. Just stay balanced, and if you feel yourself getting nauseous just look down and focus on my body. Are you ready?”
I nodded, although nerves swelled up inside me. Finn stood tall and shook out his arms. He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, and then his entire body went rigid. I turned my gaze away, assuming that this was a deeply personal act and it would have been rude of me to stare, but my curiosity got the better of me, especially when I heard his raw moans and I wondered if he was in pain.
What I saw was incredible. I’m not sure that words could do it justice. His body seemed to shimmer with an ethereal glow, and he was cloaked in a blue aura. It must have been magical in origin as his body began to transform. The hair all over his body receded into his skin and his flesh turned to scales. The scales rippled down his body, and in an instant he was all covered. Then, he fell to his hands and knees and cried out as his body started to change. It lengthened and a tail grew from the small of his back, his legs shrunk and he held out his arms. Flesh spread out from his back to his arms creating wings, and he grew in size at a tremendous rate. I had to step back to avoid him bursting into me. His mouth and nose grew into a snout, and his teeth became sharp. Fear seized my heart and it was easy to forget that this creature was still Finn and that I had agreed to ride on his back, but the eyes were the same. When I gazed into them I saw the man I knew, and my fears were quelled.
I breathed a little easier and was amazed at the majestic and noble creature standing before me. It still seemed unbelievable, and it was only when I reached out to touch it that I fully embraced the truth. The scales were cold and hard, and yet there was something comforting about them too. I ran my hands up and down his wings and then he bowed his body, making it easy for me to climb on. I worked my way up to his back so that my legs straddled him, and was nestled at the back of his head, between his wings. I laid my head flat against him and I could feel how his body thrummed with powerful energy. He twisted his head back and winked at me, and then his body shook as he put all his weight on his back legs, and then pushed up. I gripped onto him tightly, but I found myself smiling as we ascended into the air.
The city became a tiny model of twinkling lights as we rose up into the sky. The air rushed by and tugged at my clothes, made my hair flutter as we flew up. At first, my stomach tingled with nausea, but that quickly gave way to exhilaration as I realized that I was completely safe. Finn was in complete control of his movements and he was majestic. His wings spread out either side of his body, and his mouth leaned forward into the air before him. The world seemed open to us, and for a moment,
I understood what it was to be a dragon. The freedom was intoxicating, and the world we’d left behind seemed so suffocating now, so stifling. Being locked on the ground when there was so much to explore now felt like our lives were lived in a constant state of imprisonment. I had always looked at birds with envy, but only because they were able to leave whenever they wanted, but now I envied them more for the sensations they experienced while flying. The rush of happiness filled my body and I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this way.
I looked around with excitement and amazement. First, I looked underneath me, the city seemed impossibly far away. Even the tallest skyscrapers receded into the distance and looked little more than building blocks. Finn had to climb up high where the air was thin to avoid anyone being able to spot him. I thought it was a miracle that we had avoided detection when we left the ground, but he moved so fast that I doubted anyone would have seen anything other than a blur.
Goosebumps rippled over my skin, but I ignored the drop in temperature. My clothes flapped and I turned my gaze to the horizon. I looked at the stars shining all around us and the wispy clouds drifting across the sky. I looked at the huge pale moon that hung in the sky like a silver lantern and felt something incredible in my soul, a feeling of complete fulfillment and wonder. I knew that barely anyone else in the world would have this same feeling, and I felt honored and blessed.
My body rested against Finn’s and I felt completely attuned to him. He flew steadily and I didn’t notice any turbulence at all. I felt like Aladdin on his magic carpet, or Lois Lane when Superman took her for a flight. I laughed with glee and tears filled my eyes in response to the beauty before me. The natural world had so much to offer, and too much of my life had been spent focused on unimportant things. I thought about all the sorrow and anguish I was carrying around with me and somehow, looking at all the natural beauty around me, I realized that it wasn’t important at all. I didn’t need to feel that pain in my heart any longer. Finn, and by proxy Cal, had opened up my heart to something else, something more. I saw that life could be beautiful if I only opened my eyes and changed my perspective.
We soared through the sky over the black sea and over the forests. I looked at everything with ardor and appreciation as if I had been reborn. I felt like shouting my heart out and announcing to the world that I was back and ready to live, and it was all because of these dragons.
Finn shifted his position and turned towards the mountains. They loomed before us, dark spikes pricking up from the land, dark shadows that blocked out the horizon and the stars beyond. It was a foreboding sight. Zerinthor waited there for us, as did Cal, and my heart hammered in my chest as we approached our destination.
11
I was filled with trepidation as we approached the mountain ranges. The high peaks were scary, and I worried that Zerinthor would come out to meet us and attack, but we flew in and swooped down away from the peaks. Cal was up there somewhere, being held against his will, but now we were in a position where we could help him.
We descended through the atmosphere and landed in the middle of one of the mountains. The surface was rocky and it was dark, illuminated only by the light of the moon. But without the distraction of the lights of the city, my eyes were able to adjust and I was able to make out a surprising amount. There was a cavern before us and a narrow path that led around the mountain. Below us was a trail, and the forest stretched out for miles, the heads of the trees creating a blanket-like effect. In the distance, I could see the lights of the city, although it looked like nothing more than a distant star from this vantage point.
I slithered off Finn’s back and looked at the dragon in all his glory again. His blue scales seemed to shimmer, and he flicked his tail. He craned his neck back and I was in awe of him. It made me wonder what Cal looked like in dragon form. Maybe it was strange that I wasn’t more scared. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely felt a surge of fear. It was only natural given the circumstances, but I was more filled with wonder. But any fear I had felt, took a backseat to my curiosity, and I wondered if this was a rational reaction. I assumed that most people would have freaked out and ran away at the first sign of anything supernatural, but I guess I wasn’t most people.
Finn twisted his neck and an animalistic grunt burst forth from his mouth. He stretched out his body and lay flat against the ground, and then the transformation took place once again. His body trembled and receded into itself. Wings disappeared, his tail shrunk down to nothing, and the scales were slowly replaced by his human flesh and in mere moments, I was staring at his human form again. It still struck me as amazing that this man was the same as the dragon I had just seen, but when I looked into his eyes I saw the same soul.
I also noticed that he had tucked his clothes into his mouth, and these fell out when he transformed. He wrung them out and then put them on again. His body was cast in shadow and I averted my gaze from the manhood between his thighs, although I was curious. When he was dressed he turned to me.
“So, what did you think?”
“It was amazing,” I said and moved closer to him. It was cold up on the mountains and now that the exhilaration was beginning to wear off, I became more aware of the drop in temperature and needed his warmth. I also found myself strongly attracted to him. Seeing him as a dragon had exposed me to some kind of primal energy, a force that made him irresistible to me. “You were amazing,” I breathed as I closed the distance between us. “I’ve never experienced anything like that. It made me feel alive in a way I’ve never felt before. I can’t believe that you get to experience that whenever you want.”
“It’s not exactly whenever I want, but yes, it’s a big release and I always miss it when I have to stay in human form for too long.”
I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I was bursting with a need to be close to him, so I flung my arms around him and pressed my lips against his. They were warm, and the kiss was similar to what I had experienced with Cal, but he was harder. Finn was gentler, although perhaps that was just because I had caught him off-guard. But, Finn only responded out of instinct. As soon as he realized what was happening, he jerked back and pushed me away.
I looked at him, confused.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean…it’s just with Cal missing…I’m sorry,” he said. I felt a fool.
“No, I’m sorry. I was just overwhelmed and excited. I let things get the better of me. I shouldn’t have…” I looked out at the darkness and up at the mountains. “Should we start walking?” I asked, eager to change the topic to save me some embarrassment.
“Not tonight. It’s too risky. Zerinthor tends to come out at night mainly. If we start walking, he’s likely to see us. We stand a better chance of creeping up on him in the day. We should rest for the night. The cavern will provide us with shelter until morning. We have a long trek ahead of us.”
“Where does Zerinthor live?”
Finn pointed to a far-off point high up in the mountains.
“He has made a home for himself up there, as far away from the city as possible. And we’ll have to walk, because Zerinthor will see me coming if I fly.”
My eyes widened and my heart sank as I realized how much walking it was going to take for us to reach that point. My shoulder slumped and I trotted into the cave, sinking down onto the hard floor. Finn joined me and stretched his body before sitting down too.
“So where did you dragons live before things ended with Dovalia?” I asked. The silence filled the cavern and I wasn’t ready to sleep yet. My heart was still hammering from the excitement of the flight.
“We had a community deep in the forests. We wanted to be able to shift whenever we wanted, without judgment. Some dragons preferred to live alone, while others liked to go to the city.”
“You were the city type?”
“Actually no. We both wanted to stay in seclusion, but after everything happened with Dovalia, we knew we couldn’t stay there. Zerinthor made it impossible, but really it he
ld too many bad memories. We were all friends and it only served to remind us what was missing.”
“Is that what Cal meant, when he told me that something was missing between the two of you?”
“I think so. I was hard when it happened. Sometimes it seems as though it was very recent. The wounds still haven’t been given a chance to heal properly, and Zerinthor’s wounds haven’t healed at all.”
“So you and Cal came to the city?”
“He always wanted to at some point. I think he was tired of seeing the same old faces around and he wanted some new experiences. But he didn’t want to leave without me, and I was happy where I was. I didn’t feel a need to move into the city when we had everything we needed. I knew that we’d never be able to reveal ourselves to humans, so what was the point in trying to be something we weren’t? Cal and I had many arguments over it, but in the end we stayed, until Dovalia died. I don’t think it was the way either of us wanted to leave. Cal wasn’t satisfied because he knew that I didn’t really want to go, and I was distraught. When we got to the city, we tried to make it work, and in a way it was my fault that things ended. Cal liked going to work but I was restless. I wanted to be free, and don’t take offence at this, I felt trapped in your society, and that affected our relationship. I felt as though I had lost something that made me special, that made us special.”
He sighed and picked up a stony, idly tossing it against the wall. It landed with a crack and fell to the ground. “I guess we were both at fault. Maybe we were just both mourning and we didn’t give ourselves a chance to process Dovalia’s death. There was too much upheaval, but we started to snipe and snap at each other and we ended up talking past each other rather than talking to each other. Looking back at it now it’s easy to see the mistakes we made, but at the time we’d just lost ourselves. When Cal told you that something was missing between us, I think I know what he meant. Maybe if we’d have had a friend or someone else to talk to, they might have helped us come around, but we only had each other, and I guess that wasn’t enough.”
