by Lilly Wilder
“I’m sorry Finn,” I said, and I felt even guiltier for when I kissed him earlier. It was clear that the two men had great affection for each other. Well, at least on Finn’s end anyway. I found myself wanting to bring them together again, even though it might end up leaving me alone. Deep down though I’m a hopeless romantic and I couldn’t help but root for the couple against the odds.
“But if you had broken up then why were you looking for him the other day?” I asked, puzzled, because clearly they weren’t still dating. Cal was trying to move on, and he hadn’t pulled back from the kiss we had shared.
“I came to find him. Too much time had passed and, well, I missed him. I wanted to talk to him again and try to clear the air. The thing between us lasted for years, and I felt empty without him. I’d tried to fill the hole left by him, but nothing worked, and I couldn’t stand the thought that everything we shared came down to nothing. Have you ever had that feeling before?”
“Only once, after things ended with my first boyfriend. We had a lot of plans together. A few days after we broke up, I realized that nothing we’d spoken about would actually happen. All the plans we’d made were part of some other life and would only fade into the mists of time. I was so depressed, and the thing is, all the things we shared, like all the private jokes, didn’t mean a thing any longer. I guess that’s what happens when a relationship ends. That shared history only meant anything to the people involved, and it starts to feel like it doesn’t matter.”
“That was it exactly. Cal and I had been together for a number of years and we were well-suited in many respects. Even though I left the past behind, I couldn’t forget him. Everything reminded me of him, and any experience I had was diminished by the fact that he wasn’t there to share it with. I found myself still wanting to tell him about everything I did or I saw, and I was sad that I couldn’t. I decided that I wanted him in my life, even if it was just as a friend, so I came back here to track him down. That’s when I realized that he was missing, and I knew there was only one reason why he would leave without telling anyone.”
“You must have been so worried.”
“I was. You know, I always hate how things ended between us but when I realized that Zerinthor had taken him I was so angry. It was one thing for the two of us to decide to end our relationship, but for someone else to come in and prevent us from getting back together? I couldn’t stand for it. I know that it’s a trap, and I know that Zerinthor is going to be waiting for me, but if we’re going to suffer then at least we’ll suffer together.”
I was touched by his story and could tell that he was filled with sorrow. He bowed his head and started to shake, overwhelmed with emotion. I moved closer to him, partly to comfort him, and partly because I was very cold and knew I’d never be able to sleep if I didn’t have any warmth. I put my arm around him and at first, he tried to pull away, but I was insistent. This time I wasn’t going to kiss him. I merely pulled him into me and his need for comfort was such that he melted into my arms. I held him tightly and enjoyed the feeling of his warmth spreading over my body. I felt bad for him and Cal, for how their relationship had been devastated by the reckless actions of Dovalia and now threatened by her wounded ex. I wanted to be there for them and help them come together again.
I cooed him and comforted him. Eventually we relaxed as much as we could against the rocks and our eyes grew heavy. My last thoughts were of flying through the air, and during the night I dreamt about turning into a dragon myself. I was a beautiful, sparkling silver dragon flying through the air, free of all my doubt and fear and I could just fly through the stars to a new land, exploring something unknown.
12
When I awoke the following morning, I had an awkward crick in my back and stretched out my body, rising from the hard floor. I didn’t want to make a habit of sleeping on the ground so I hoped that we could get to Zerinthor as soon as possible, although by the look of it, it was going to take us a few days to hike up the mountain. Finn was already wake and was smiling at me.
“Thank you for last night. It’s good to have somebody to talk to about this, about everything,” he said.
“Are you really telling me that you’ve not confided about any of this to your friends since you’ve been in this world?”
“I’ve told them about Cal, but not about everything else. It’s not been the same. Like I said, I couldn’t reveal the truth to them because we’d only be persecuted. I wouldn’t have told you if you hadn’t been so persistent…but I’m glad you were.”
This Finn was much more palatable to me than the one I had first met. He had been rude and brooding, but now I understood why; he had been scared. This Finn was charming and kind, gentle, and had a depth of emotion within him.
Day had broken outside and the sun’s golden rays kissed the mountain. I stepped outside and although the air was a little warmer, it was still bracing and I shivered. I looked down at the lush green trees and my appreciation for nature only grew. This land had been beautiful in the night, but it had been cloaked in darkness. Now, it was exposed, for all the world to see, and it was wondrous. The mountains were slate gray, and below them were green forests. Small birds soared through the air and for the first time in my life I knew exactly how they felt. I looked up at the path we were going to have to take and I felt bitter for having to walk. Now that I had flown everything was going to pale in comparison.
“How do you do it?” I asked as we set off. Finn looked at me quizzically. “I mean, walking after flying? Surely everything must seem so slow and cumbersome to you. Up there in the air you were so free, able to move in any way you wanted without resistance.”
“I got used to it. I guess it’s like when you go swimming, but yes, it is hard not to indulge that side of myself as often as I would like. Even now I’d like to fly up to Zerinthor, but I don’t think that’s very wise.”
“I agree, not from what you’ve told me anyway.”
He stopped in his tracks and turned to me.
“Danni, when we find Zerinthor I want you to hide. He’s a dangerous dragon and he holds no love for humanity. If he sees you, he won’t have any qualms in killing you. Hide, run away, do anything you can to stay out of his clutches.”
“Okay Finn,” I agreed, but I wasn’t about to be some damsel. I wanted to help, and maybe if Zerinthor had such a low opinion of humanity he might underestimate me and what I was capable of.
We ascended along the mountain. The path was narrow and wound around the edge. We walked slowly, and being high up on this mountain was a completely different sensation to what I had experienced when riding on the back of Finn. Then, he was in control, and here, I felt completely at the mercy of the mountain. I made the mistake of looking down as we followed the path and the ground seemed to leap up at me. There was a thin layer of mist, but beyond it lay the far-off ground. I thought about what it would be like to fall through the air. It would take anyone an eternity to fall, and by the time they actually met the ground they would surely be conscious. I hoped I wouldn’t have to find out.
There was one moment when I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and missed my step. I knocked a couple of stones away and they scuttled down the side of the mountain, falling into the abyss below. I shrieked in fright and backed away as far as I could towards the mountains, clinging onto the rocks as tightly as I could. Finn came to my rescue and told me that everything was going to be okay.
I was glad that we didn’t have to climb the mountains properly because I wouldn’t have had the endurance to do that. My legs were already aching just from walking, but Finn seemed to be in good spirits. He was determined, and I had no doubt that he was fueled by a desire to find Cal and make Zerinthor pay for what he had done.
I quickly learned to stop looking at our destination, because whenever I did, it seemed just as far away as the last time I had checked. It didn’t seem like we were making any progress and I wondered how we were going to make it
there before I dropped dead. I didn’t air these concerns with Finn though, because I didn’t want him to think that I was weak.
We stopped for frequent rests, but they never lasted too long because Finn was anxious to keep going. I thought about Misty and what she must be thinking right now, wishing that I could have told her the truth. Part of me worried that I wouldn’t get out of this alive. Zerinthor seemed like a terrifying beast and all three of us might die at his hands. If that happened, I’d never get the chance to say goodbye to Misty. Nobody would even know that we were here.
We walked for the better part of the day until it came to rest again. I put my hand against the side of the mountain and panted.
“I can’t go on,” I said, my breath labored. My body was doubled over and I had a stitch in my side. I’d always intended to do more exercise, but it had never seemed like much of a pressing concern. Now, I wished I had made more effort. My knees shook and every breath scratched my throat as though I was swallowing nails. I craved water and I didn’t know where we were going to get any from.
Finn came up to me and put his hand on my back.
“Come on, just a little farther and there’s a place we can use to rest. There’s water there, and maybe a little bit of food. We can have a good rest and be fresh for the morning.”
The thought of walking even one more step was devastating, but the promise of water and food urged me on. I staggered forward like a zombie and followed Finn. I was a creature of momentum, putting one foot before the other, not thinking about anything else. I followed Finn blindly and only hoped that we’d reach our destination before my limbs fell off and I collapsed due to exhaustion.
We reached a point where the mountain joined with another one widened, creating a plateau between the two. It was shielded from the wind and I was glad to be able to fall to the ground. There were caves dotted against the high walls, and the path continued around the mountain, but the dwindling light was a sign that we had to stop traveling for the day and have a rest. My limbs burned and cried out with pain. My hands shook, and I didn’t understand how I was ever going to recover. My throat was raw too, and I could barely speak. Finn walked away. I watched him go into a cave, and he returned with a bowl.
“Here, drink this,” he said. The water was sweet and cool. I gulped it down eagerly and it trickled down my chin. I wiped it away and thanked him, although in all honesty I could have done with more.
“What is this place?”
“It’s an old place, a place of pilgrimage. This used to be where the leaders of our people held their council. In the old times, they’d come up here and debate the important matters of the day and make the decisions that affected all of us. It was a hallowed place, but as our people have been scattered to the wind, it’s rarely used. There’s a spring in the cave for anyone who wants to come here, and there are things to make fire as well. I’ll get us some food in a little while. You rest and I’ll make a fire so that we’re warm during the night.”
I nodded, glad that he didn’t want me to do anything strenuous. I lay back and looked up at the sky. The white clouds danced together and my heavy lids blinked regularly. My muscles throbbed and I closed my eyes, trying to push away the aches and pains that were in my body.
I didn’t know how much time had passed when Finn called out to me. The light had dimmed, and the sun was setting over the horizon, making the sky bleed red. Finn grunted as he slammed the body of an animal down on the ground. It looked like a goat, and he set about skinning it.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Dinner, he replied. He went to another cave and brought out kindling and wood, and then hit struck two stones together to make a spark. I watched all this with great interest. I had never been one for survival, and these skills were things I had never learned. If it hadn’t been for Finn’s presence, I would have been left for the dead, and I truly hoped that I wasn’t the last one left alive up here because I didn’t think I’d make it down.
Finn got to work at setting up a spit roast and after he skinned the animal, he set it atop the flames, the fire licking the carcass, cooking it, making the juices flow. I wasn’t squeamish when it came to food, but I wasn’t exactly looking forward to eating something that had just been killed, but the pangs of hunger in my stomach made me push aside for qualms. Finn dragged the carcass to the edge of the mountain and hurled it off. His hands were bloodied, and he went back to wash them. When he returned, he had blankets with them.
“We won’t have to cozy up to each other tonight,” he said. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed. With his help, I moved to the fire and lay my blanket on the ground. It offered a little comfort, although the hard surface was still apparent underneath the thick cloth. Sitting near the fire, I enjoyed the warmth and held out my hands. The heat eased the aching in my muscles and I was relieved to know that we weren’t going to have to move for the night. I tried not to think about the following day though. Nothing could have been worse than the prospect of walking along more mountains.
“Have you done this kind of thing before?” I asked, staring into the fire.
“When we lived as dragons, we did this all the time. We camped out and lived off the land. It’s actually very rewarding, although I can understand why your society has progressed to a point where everything is easy for you. There’s nothing like the satisfaction you get from killing your own dinner though,” he said, and watched the meat cook eagerly. When it was done, he cut some off with his knife and tore at it with his teeth, nodding with delight. Then, he passed me some. I took the meat in my hands and looked at it uneasily. I smelled it and then put it in my mouth. As soon as I had a taste, I bit into it with great hunger and started to chew it rabidly.
I wanted more.
Finn and I gorged on the meat, feeling satisfied. I’d never worked up such an appetite before.
“How many of you were there?” I asked.
“The four I told you about and a few others. It mostly fell apart after Dovalia died. People splintered off into their own smaller groups, and the community was no more.”
“Did you try to look for any of them and tell them what was happening?”
“I thought about it, but they have their own lives and once someone is in the wind, we don’t really have much hope of finding them again. We don’t have a sense for where each other are. I only know that Zerinthor is here because he doesn’t make a secret about it. But it’s not like I could walk down the street and tell you if anyone is a dragon or not.”
“I envy you, being something more than human. I’ve always hated the fact that I’ve been ordinary, that I’ve never really been able to help people in the way that I wanted.”
“I wouldn’t say that. You seem pretty extraordinary to me. We might seem special to you, but don’t forget that there are more than one of me. I’m just ordinary when it comes to dragons. And I wouldn’t sell yourself short. There’s clearly something about you that has allowed Cal and I to place our faith in you, and it’s rare that a human can accept this truth. You have not wavered. You have not been uncomfortable or given into fear. In fact, you have embraced the truth and you have shown yourself to be brave. You’re here to help Cal when it would have been easier to stay behind in your ignorance. I will never forget this.”
“I’m not just here to help Cal. I’m here to help you too, Finn,” I said gently and placed my hand on his arm. I looked into his eyes and a moment passed between us again. I felt a strong urge to kiss him, but this time I resisted. His gaze faltered and he turned to look into the fire. The feelings inside me were confusing, and I imagined they might have been for him as well. We were here to rescue Cal, and yet we were attracted to each other. There was no denying the truth, but neither of us wanted to hurt Cal. Both of us had strong feelings for him. I had never been in the position where I was attracted to two people at the same time and I didn’t know what to make of it. It wasn’t as though I felt more strongly about one
than the other. Both of them had unique qualities that I appreciated and yes, Finn was directly in front of me, so it was easier to feel a physical connection to him, but I badly wanted to see Cal again as well.
It was a romantic setting really. We were high up in the mountains, away from civilization, with a roaring fire before us. If we stayed there something bad was going to happen, something we might both have regretted. I could almost hear Misty whispering in my ear, telling me to go for it, but I couldn’t, not when Cal was in danger. After all this we were going to have to go back and figure out what was going on. I was very aware that I might actually end up with nobody if Cal and Finn got together. The only thing worse than missing out on one man was missing out on two.
I focused on eating the rest of my dinner and tried to stay silent, not wanting there to be any opportunity for us to flirt with each other. I kept glancing towards Finn though, and there were a few occasions when I caught him flirting back.
“During the night you can sleep out here or you can go into one of the caves. I think I might let this fire burn itself out through the night just to give us that extra bit of warmth. I’m probably going to stay out here, but you can go into the spring and bathe. There’s a torch that you can carry.”
He picked up a thick piece of wood that had a cloth wrapped around it. He handed it to me, and I sensed that he wanted to be alone and this suggestion was really a hint, or maybe it wasn’t that he was alone but that I smelled and I needed a bath. It was actually a good idea, and I figured my aching muscles would appreciate a bit of relief.
