by Pamela Ann
Bass lets out a breath. “We’ll do whatever you think is best for you.” He sought for my hand and held it close. “I’m with you all the way. I trust whatever you choose to do.”
After making love, we stayed on the patio and waited for the sunrise. Then afterwards, we went indoors, slept for a few hours and got up to head out to meet Trista, Taylor, Amber and Lindsey in Disneyland. It was fun and all, but at times Lindsey was way too catty towards Amber, which made other instances beyond awkward.
Bass got a party in Disneyland, fireworks and all. Supposedly, he wanted to tell our friends that we were engaged here, but since our conversation last night, that plan got the red light.
That night we partied with our friends, keeping our engagement to ourselves while we fought to stop kissing whenever we could because people around us were getting sick from the very sight of us.
Bass had plans to take everyone to Cabo San Lucas the following day, however I managed to convince him that I wanted to spend our Sunday together, alone, and with no one around us. I knew he was going back to work soon, so I wanted to be selfish and kept him for myself.
I never thought I would see myself, nor did I imagine that I would ever become, a clingy and needy woman. However, after weeks of denial, it was blatantly obvious that yes, I had become that very nightmare I once strived not to be.
They did say never say never.
Lesson learned.
~E~
A soft tingle on my cheek made wake up. When I parted my eyes open, Bass was sitting on my side of the bed, looking down on me.
“I have to go and catch my flight.” He pulled my hand from the comforter and kissed the tips of my fingers.
My head cocked to the side to check the time on the side table. It wasn’t even six in the morning. I knew he was leaving today, but I was expecting to share breakfast with him at least. After the weekend we’d had, I sure knew that this week was going to creep by extra slow for me.
“Thank you for giving me the best weekend of my life.” I pulled his lips against mine, kissing him slowly. “I can’t wait to be Mrs. Bass Cole.” Can’t wait? I was hysterical and couldn’t stop daydreaming about my wedding. Not to mention little Bass Cole babies! Ugh. I was sick with giddiness!
“Why don’t you check your calendar and we’ll match it with mine? So we can roughly know which day and get this thing going. You’re not going to get cold feet on me, are you?”
Was he on crack? Hell no. “Never.” My arms wrapped around his neck, hoping to get more of him. “Do you have any room for a quickie?” I tried to cajole his determined face.
He sighed, nuzzling my cheek. “Can’t—Lou’s downstairs waiting for me.”
“Damn. Maybe next time.” Man, I could feel my heart sinking. It was goodbye again…for now.
Bass gave me a grateful smile, knowing how much I would ache without him. “I promise to make your sexual fantasies come to life the next time I see you.”
I really didn’t want him to go, though I had no choice. One look at his face made me do a fake cheer up. The last thing my man needed was seeing me all sad. He was already leaving with a heavy heart; I didn’t need to make him feel guilty for having a job that required him to shoot films in another country.
“Hmmm, maybe I’ll make yours, too, BC.” My small, teasing made him grin, smiling down on me in a way that seriously made my heart skip a beat. He was so gorgeous, and the man was all fucking mine to have, conquer and feast over and over again.
“God, I love it when you get me hard by your eyes alone, you wicked woman.” For the last time, he kissed me thoroughly, eliciting the fire within me, but it was stopped too short. “Keep me in your heart, Emma.”
“Keep me in yours, Bass.”
With another toe-curling smile, I watched as he exited our bedroom. I remained where I was, unmoving as my ears perked up to the sound of him moving, descending down the stairs, to the entry hall and out the front door. When I heard the car engine being fired up, I closed my eyes and made a silent prayer to keep him safe and away from harm.
It’s another day without him…I thought with a heavy heart.
Driving back to SB was a drag simply because I didn’t want to leave the bed where it smelled of Bass, yet unfortunately, I had to return to reality. Filming didn’t start until five weeks from now, and since I was now resorting to submitting my assignments online and keeping my teachers in progress with my studies, I had more time to dedicate for volunteer work before I left to shoot in Chicago.
After this weekend, I had a lot of things to ponder about. It was basically sorting out the least and the best choices to make.
The next day, I made a call to Barbara and told her that I didn’t want to do the GQ shoot anymore. Don’t get me wrong, the opportunity was great, but I think it would be best if I skipped this one. Was the engagement a part of the decision making? A big fat yes, and also, I wanted to lay low for a bit. Since the media wasn’t warming up to me anytime soon with Nikki’s pregnancy hovering in the background, I’d rather focus on building my career from making movies instead of doing it by being in the media spotlight.
I didn’t like the attention, however it came with dating Bass and being in the movie industry. What they said about me and why I wasn’t “clinging” to Bass were very hurtful. How could they print those articles thinking that they knew me?
Now, with Nikki’s ultrasound looming for next week, the very thought alone started to gnaw in my gut. I was scared that Bass might love the baby the second he sees him or her. I mean, there was nothing wrong in that—no, not in particular. What I’m most afraid of was Nikki using that feeling to her advantage. Knowing how manipulative she’d been after finding out about her pregnancy, the bitch was going to take every reaction Bass was going to make and make them her best weapons. Making him fall for the baby was her top priority.
I hoped that he wasn’t going to fall for her antics. God knew what would happen to us if he did.
“What are you doing in here sulking as you drink coffee and stare at the beach?”
“Nikki,” I blurted out, still staring ahead, not glancing at Amber. From my peripheral vision, I saw her sit on my left, placing a linen pillow on her lap.
“I’m thinking of moving out.” Amber announces with hesitation, like she had thought about it for quite sometime now.
That made me look at her; my attention solely focused on the troubled woman next to me. “What? No!” I interjected. “You guys can still fix this.” They better fix it because they shouldn’t let a man come in between their friendship, even if the man in question was Brody Thompson.
Amber looked defeated. “How? She won’t even look in my direction. You know how she is. She’s probably going to hate me until she’s in her grave.”
Would Lindsey be that harsh? Damn. “She loves you.” I reached out and squeezed her arm to give encouragement. “Lindsey’s just—you know…” my voice trailed off, not sure what to say.
Fortunately, she knew our friend well enough that I didn’t have to elaborate. “I know. That’s why I think moving out is the best solution.”
If she moved out, the rift was going to get bigger; they had to talk before it came to that. There must be a way to fix things? “If we can get you guys in the same room and talk it out, maybe it’ll help,” I lightly suggested, hoping she had brighter ideas.
Amber snorted before shaking her head. “Like she’d do that. She’s probably going to kill me anyway.”
“You’re afraid of her?” The thought had never crossed my mind.
“Fuck, yeah, she’s crazy.” She grinned, flashing those beautiful amber eyes at me. “But I would never admit that to her face.”
It was no secret how passionate our dear Lindsey could get, although sometimes you had to make allowances for the people you love.
For a long while, we both stayed silent as we watched people stroll by, jogging and spending time together. My thoughts were about them and how they got to this point. “S
o, was it worth it?” I finally murmured, not glancing at her.
“What was?”
My sight focused on the family trio that had the father, I was assuming, pushing the stroller, laughing at something the woman next to him was saying. “Brody, I mean.” I was talking to Amber, but my eyes were now zeroing in on the small family, seeing Bass and Nikki in my mind.
Dammit. I hated it when this stupid jealous attack happened at the most inconvenient times.
“It was before…I don’t know. He isn’t even talking to me.” Amber pierced through my fog, getting my attention again, somewhat. “He’s still heartbroken from Lindsey.”
“You love him,” I stated as a fact.
Amber picked on her cuticle, deep in thought. “He’d never see it,” she sighed, voice laced with sadness. “He never did.”
Poor thing was suffering from unrequited love. Competing for Brody’s attention amidst all those women flinging themselves at him—and to top it off with Lindsey—was going to be more than difficult to achieve. “Maybe it’s time to move on.”
She didn’t respond to that at first, yet when she did, the words that she spoke were simply unexpected. “You should let Carter do the same thing.”
Carter. One major problem that I had yet to face. Could I do it, hurt him like that? I wished he would be the one who freely chose to move on and not me, as he was pushing me to do. It was worse that way. “I told him to.” At least a hundred times, I tried to convince him. “But he’s not letting go.”
“Tris and I have a couple of women lined up for him. You don’t mind, right?” she asked, showing how much they all cared for him, or maybe they also didn’t want any more drama with me bouncing back and forth. I wasn’t that predictable when it came to Carter, or was I? And as for him starting to see other women, did I care or mind? Well…
I didn’t… “Why should I? I’m with Bass.”
Amber stared at me for a long time then shrugged. “Bass is a great guy; if I had to choose between him and Carter, I’d choose him. Carter’s hot, Em, and we love a bad streak in a guy once in awhile, but to find a guy to love you and remain faithful to that love is hard to find. Bass never looked at a woman when you guys were together. And let’s face it, would you put faith in a guy who cheated on you with an orgy? Or with a man who looks at you like you’re the only one he sees?” She sounded like she wanted to drill the words in my head. “Bass had a playboy reputation, but man, that guy is so all-in with you, doll. Each time I see him look at you, it makes me not want to give up on love.”
I never realized that Amber was such a passionate woman. This was a side that was rarely on display. “Maybe you shouldn’t give up on him then.” If she truly loved Brody this fiercely, then maybe giving up wasn’t the best solution. I mean, what did she have to lose at this point?
“I’m never going to be Lindsey in his eyes.”
Seriously? She was only insecure when it came to Brody. She was gorgeous, why try to be someone else you’re not? “Then don’t try to be. Just be you—Amber, the amazing woman who loves him—even if he doesn’t see how much it hurts to keep loving him from afar.”
“I’ll think about it,” Amber said, getting up. She stood, giving the beach a good sixty seconds before she spun around and gave me a fierce hug. “Thank you for listening, doll.” She kissed my cheek. “I’m here, too, if you need someone.” With a flash of her smile, she bounced back upstairs to get ready to go out with some new school friends while I remained in living room, full of crap in my head.
I was on my third sigh when my phone beeped with a text message.
Carter: Don’t look too sad. I still love you, if that’s what’s worrying you.
What in the world?
Me: What are you talking about?
Carter: I went for a jog, and when I passed by, you just looked too sad and I couldn’t ignore you. Need me to get you ice cream?
My eyes scanned the vast sea of people passing. The dusk had settled so it was difficult to pinpoint where he was exactly. Where was he hiding?
Me: I can’t see you.
My phone immediately shrilled with his reply.
Carter: Come out and meet me.
Damn. Should I? I was in the middle of my decision making process when my phone beeped once more.
Carter: Don’t think about it. Just do it.
Damn again.
Me: Fine. Coming out now.
Getting up, I didn’t even bother changing my white cut-off shorts and my loose midriff shirt as I headed towards the backdoor entrance that led towards the beach. Before I managed to open the door though, the doorbell of the front door chimed, halting me in the process.
Backtracking, I was skipping towards the hallway to seek the front door entrance. Once I got there, I yanked the brass handle open and found myself even more surprised. “Brody—” I had a confused smile on. “Hey, come inside.” I opened the door wider. “I’ll go ahead and get…” Who? Amber or Lindsey? Shit. “Amber?”
He nodded, pressing his lips together. “No need. I’m here to see Lindsey.” He moved forward and stepped inside the house. “I’ll just go upstairs and try to see if she’ll talk to me this time, if that’s okay?”
Uh-huh. I nodded. “Sure, go ahead.” Well…this is weird, I thought as I watched him make his way upstairs. As much as I would like to see if Lindsey was going to talk to him this time, I knew I shouldn’t pry into their business. Besides, Carter was still waiting on me downstairs.
Making my way outside, I was starting to think that he’d decided to leave because I took too long, but nope, he was there all right, joined by two girls touching his biceps. WTF?
The moment I joined them, Carter was grinning from ear to ear as he greeted me with a soft kiss on the cheek before he had the gall to introduce me to his “cheerleaders”.
“Ladies, this is Emma.” He introduced me with suave as the ladies turned to me and gave me their million dollar smiles. “This is Cami and Ashley.” Since both were on each of his sides, he started with Cami who was a brunette and had an easy smile, but who had eyes that never really left Carter. Ashley was just as friendly, yet it was obvious that these two knew Carter very well.
“Girlfriends of yours, Mason?” I smiled back, trying to give a low ounce of sarcasm. “Still like them in double doses, huh?” Yeah, I sort of failed there.
Instead of responding to my sarcastic quip, Ashley interjected, “I saw your movie, by the way. You were great. It must be nice to work with two hot guys like that.”
She totally ditched the whole awkward moment there and just went to familiar territory. “Yeah, something like that,” I answered lamely. The girls were nice and all, though for some reason, I wasn’t feeling all that nice myself. Before my mouth could get me in any trouble, I took the initiative to look for an excuse. “It was great meeting you two,” I addressed his cheerleaders. “Carter.” I nodded towards him. “Goodnight,” I murmured before walking away and back to where I had come from. My heels couldn’t take me away fast enough.
What was the deal anyway? I asked myself before giving my brain a good mental shake. I was thinking way too much, that’s why my brain wasn’t functioning normally.
Once inside the house, I went straight to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. Opening the fridge to get the milk carton, I gave out a loud yelp when Carter was standing behind it the second I closed it shut. “What the fuck? It’s not Halloween yet, idiot! Try to give someone else a fright.” I glared at him, ignoring him altogether as I worked the cappuccino maker.
“It’s all for laughs. Come on; lighten up a bit, yeah?” He was smiling that smug I’m-so-hot-you-can’t-help-but-drool-over-me smile of his, which ticked me off some more.
I snorted. “I am enlightened. Now go take a hike.” I was busy filling up coffee grinds before pressing it down with the metal presser, about to flip the switch because Carter wouldn’t leave me alone.
The man came up behind me, almost touching yet not. “Whoa.
What’s gotten your undies twisted, baby?” His breath hit the side of my neck, sending goose bumps all over my body.
Damn him! He needs to stay the fuck away! “My underwear is none of your concern.”
“You know…” He trailed off. “You used to get like this when you were jealous.”
I shut my eyes, chanting that I was engaged to Bass as I felt Carter press his chest against my back, making me stifle back a groan.
“Am I reading this all wrong, Emma?” He spoke like he was almost out of breath.
Mother. Fucking. Hell. “I’m not jealous,” I hissed. “I’m ticked off because you invited me to come out and yet you were busy being praised over by your army of—” Skanks. “Women,” I finished off, not needing to let him know how I truly felt deep inside.
Carter tsk-tsked, moving his lips close to my ear. “When will you ever learn that lying is bad for you?” He pressed his crotch against my bum, making him moan against my neck. “There’s a lot of women who want me, but this is all yours, baby.” He breathed me in, his nose making a loud sound of him inhaling deeply while he pushed against me. His body heat was intoxicating. I knew it was wrong to keep this game going—however, I was paralyzed on the spot.
“I love you.” He kissed the base of my neck. “Dream of me tonight. You know what’s going to be in mine, Emma.” Carter kissed my check one last time before pulling himself off me. “Those twenty-one sweet, honeyed kisses, baby.” He spoke so loud, I was afraid everyone could hear him.
My birthday last year; FML.
He greeted me last Saturday, but he didn’t say much else. I knew that he was aware that I was with Bass, that’s why he stayed away. But why bring that memory up? Was it because it was about last year when we started engaging physically? Or to mainly put me in a position where I was even more aggravated since the last time I saw him?
It didn’t matter because yes, I admit, I was extremely attracted to Carter, yet I was crazy about my Bass. The thought of him brought guilt into my heart. I knew Bass was aware about Carter still pining for me, but if he knew as to what extent Carter was stretching it lately, I knew he’d be beyond angry.
