by Erin Trejo
“Let yourself feel. Not pain.” His lips softly touch mine. There isn’t any pain like I was expecting. His hand comes up to my cheek and there it is.
“Link,” I choke out his name.
“Shh. It doesn’t hurt, Jordyn. Trust me,” he whispers.
His lips continue to move over mine. Although I’m not kissing him back, I let him kiss me. It’s an overwhelming feeling that I have. Things run through my mind that have never been there before.
He feels so real.
Chapter 15
Link
Jesus Christ, my heart’s in my throat. My lips are so close to hers, touching them, caressing them. She feels too damn perfect against me. Why she thinks everything is pain—I will never understand. I get the logistics of it but fuck! I don’t want to hurt her. I brush my lips over hers once more but I let my hand linger on her cheek. I won’t move it. I won’t let her push that part of herself away. She deserves to feel. She doesn’t deserve to hide behind a fake pain that isn’t really there. She’s too young, and beautiful for that.
“Link, please,” she cries. I can taste her salty tears as they run down her face.
“I want you, Jordyn. I want to show you that the first time was nothin’ compared to now. I want to make you feel good,” I whisper against her. God, how do I control myself? This shit is new to me, too. My dick fucking aches in these sweatpants. I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t know that she even wants me to fucking be inside of her again—but the overwhelming need for her is too much for me to handle.
“I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to not feel pain, Link,” she cries.
“Do you want me, Jordyn? Do you want this?” I have to know. I have to know her answer before I get too far gone.
“Yes... but I’m scared,” she admits to me. God, this is harder than I thought it would be. I want her so fucking badly—I can taste her on the tip of my tongue.
“You take the lead. You show me what to do. You show me where I can try to touch you, Jordyn.” Her eyes fly open and see beams up at me. I kiss her softly once more before she nods.
“I’d never hurt you on purpose, darlin’.” She nods her head as if she already knows that.
She reaches for the hem of her shirt and pulls it over her head. I watch her body and the groan that escapes me doesn’t go unnoticed by her. She smiles shyly but I fucking love it just the same. I lean back and drag my sweatpants off while she watches me. The way she licks her lips, fuck... I’m in trouble with this one. I slide down the bed and lie flat on my back. This is a completely awkward position for both of us to be in. Neither of us know what the hell we’re doing. I do, from watching all kind of porn and jerking myself off more times than I care to admit but this, with her, it’s new.
“I’m scared, Link.” I grab my dick in my hand not able to handle it anymore. I stroke it up and down as she watches me. I grab a condom out of the nightstand and slide it on quickly as she watches me. Yeah, I’ve practiced that, too!
“It’s ok. You take the lead,” I tell her. Jordyn shyly climbs up and straddles me. She grabs my dick out of my hand before sliding down its length. Fuck, I didn’t expect her to just take it all in like that. Her head tilts back and her mouth parts. Her hands come to rest on my chest, sending flames through my body. It’s taking all the strength I have to not reach up and touch her body. It’s so goddamn beautiful mounted up on me.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.” She looks down into my eyes. I slowly move my hips when her eyes widen. She reaches for my hands and brings them to her hips. I can see the pain in her eyes. She has to realize that it isn’t real. I have to show her how good this can be. I let my hands sit on her hips for a few minutes, just rotating my hips a little. My body is so fucking taut I can barely stand it but she needs this right now. I know she does and I want to give it to her no matter how hard it is for me.
Once the look in her eyes slowly starts to fade, I circle my thumbs over her soft skin. She looks like she’s on the high of her life right now and I take advantage of that. I hold her hips a little tighter, raising my hips a little higher so that I can get deeper.
“Oh, God, Link,” she cries. It isn’t a cry of pain either. It’s a cry of pure bliss.
“Yeah, feels good, yeah?” I ask her. She nods her head as I keep moving. It feels fucking fantastic on my end.
“Link, kiss me... please,” she begs. I sit up, our chests coming to mesh with each other’s.
I see the fear in her eyes. I see the way she looks but I kiss her like she’s never been kissed before. I take all the air from her lungs. I pull her into me and I take her like she’s never been taken before. Everything about her and the way she feels is too damn good. It’s all too damn good. How the hell am I ever going to get enough of her? How am I going to hold off on touching her when she makes me feel like the luckiest man alive?
Chapter 16
Jordyn
I want to scream. I want to cry... but what he’s doing to me is overriding the pain that I felt. I don’t feel it now. I only feel Link, and the way he’s touching me. The way he’s kissing me. I feel like I’m floating on a cloud right now. It’s not a feeling that I’m used to.
“Do it, Link. I need you.” I don’t need to tell him what I want. He flips us so that I’m under him, my hardened nipples scraping against his hard chest. I never dreamt that I could feel like this. I hike my leg up on Link’s side and the groan that rips out of him does something to me. His chest vibrates as he thrusts into me. I need more, though.
“Harder, Link,” I whine. He pulls back and looks into my eyes. He needs that reassurance from me.
“God, you’re so fuckin’ beautiful,” he says. His hips pick up their pace. He thrusts and pushes, and I can feel him in every fiber of my being. My body locks around him.
“Oh, fuck! Fuck, Jordyn!” Link growls as I feel him harden inside of me. My body shudders before I cum in a rough wave of screams and pants.
Link follows behind me. I can feel him explode so deeply inside of me... I don’t want to let this feeling go. I don’t want to go back to feeling the pain anymore. I want this. I want him to touch me and make me feel alive.
“Holy fuck, Jordyn. I never felt anything like that,” Link says as he leans down and presses soft kisses to my neck. The feeling of euphoria surrounds me. I’ve never been so high in my life.
“It was amazing, Link. Can we do it again?” I ask, making him laugh.
“There is nothin’ I’d like more, darlin’. We do need to talk about some things though.” I sigh, knowing what he wants to talk about. I don’t want to, though.
“I know... but can’t it wait. I feel too good,” I say as I let my fingers wander over the muscles of his back. I can feel each of them shift beneath my touch.
“You’re damn right it can. I’m glad you came in here tonight.” He shifts so that his body isn’t smashing me to the bed.
“Me, too. I’ve wanted to talk to you, I just didn’t know how,” I say. My focus has shifted. I know if I let this get too out of hand that it’s going to end badly for Link. I know that Bone will kill all of them if I don’t go through with this.
“You have a lot inside of you. I can feel it. I don’t want to push you though, Jordyn. When you’re ready, I want you to tell me everything. I want that part of you. I don’t know where we go from here or what the hell we do, but I want to know you.” My heart does something funny in my chest as I let that sink in. I can’t let him in. I can’t let him get any closer to me than this. I won’t risk Bone hurting him. I won’t do that to him. Link deserves more than I can offer him. I want him, God, do I want him, but I can’t keep him. I have to use this to my advantage now. I have to use this special moment between us to get the information that I need for Bone. If I don’t—I know the outcome—and I can’t let Link fall because of me.
“That’s fair. I want to know you, too.”
Chapter 17
Link
She’s sound asleep, t
ucked into my chest. I’ve never felt anything so strong in my life. I’ve never slept with a woman before either, though. I suppose it could just be that this is all new for the both of us.
Jordyn’s a dark soul. There are secrets in her eyes that she doesn’t want to share. I want them, though. It’s a confusing need that I feel for her. I barely know her. We were in that basement for a few weeks together but that doesn’t mean shit. I don’t know her. I look down at her silky, red hair, where it’s fanned out on my chest. I run my fingers through it. Jordyn stirs in her sleep before I feel the hot, wet tears. I don’t know what she’s dreaming about. I want to know... I want to take that pain and make it my own just so she doesn’t have to feel it anymore. I glance at the clock and slide out from under her before grabbing my sweatpants off the floor. I take one more glance over at her as she sleeps in my fucking bed. I never thought I’d find the right girl to say that about. One that I actually wanted in my bed. And oddly enough, I want her there. I want her to stay there all the time.
I head out and down to the main room, only to find Bullet sitting at the bar.
“Hey.” He glances over his shoulder before he says, “Look at you, little sex machine.” I shake my head before taking a seat next to him.
“Fuck off, man.” Bullet chuckles before sliding a glass of juice in front of me.
“You’re really into her, yeah?” I shrug my shoulders before taking a drink.
“She’s different. She let me in. She doesn’t like to be touched. Some bad shit happened with her dad. I don’t know... I feel different with her,” I admit that much to him. I do, though.
“It’s cause she’s your first. Don’t get too caught up in it. It’ll pass.” I don’t miss his attitude. I don’t miss the way he looks at me either.
“What’s with you?” I ask. I don’t know what the hell his problem is but he might want to get it out in the open.
“Nothin’ man. Just tellin’ you the truth.” He shoves off the stool and starts to walk away when I stand next and say, “Fuck that shit! What’s the problem with her, Bullet?” I watch him stop walking. His hands come to rest on his hips before his head tilts back. He sighs before he says, “You don’t notice how she acts around here? She goes on jogs but comes back completely dry—she lurks in the goddamn hallways.” Anger boils inside of me. Heat races through my veins.
“Why are you watchin’ her so hard? What the fuck are you tryin’ to prove, Bullet?” I snap. When he finally turns to face me, I can see it all over his face. He doesn’t trust her.
“You already know what I’m about to say, Link.” I nod once. I do know what he’s about to say.
“I’ll be in my office.” I walk away from Bullet before he ever has the chance to say a fucking word to me.
I don’t know why he doesn’t trust her but if he feels it—then there has to be a reason behind it. Once I find out her last name—I will find out what the hell is going on, too. I don’t like being left in the dark. I don’t like the not knowing, but I do like having her close to me. There’s my fucking downfall.
Chapter 18
Jordyn
The weeks go by much the same. I go meet with Bone every goddamn Saturday, and every Saturday I feel like I’m betraying Link’s trust in me. I’ve noticed some of the others looking at me strangely, too. I don’t care, though, I know what I have to do.
“Lookin’ awful cozy ain’t ya?” Bone runs his fingers over my clothes that Link has gotten me. My body fires off with the need to get away from him.
“There’s a drop at the south end tonight. I don’t know what they are delivering but there’s supposed to be something big.” Bone watches me intently as I give up the information that I overheard. I feel so ashamed as the words even leave my mouth.
“You’re doin’ good, darlin’. Real good.” He steps into my space and I’m overcome with the need to run. I want as far from him as possible. “So, good, I should give you a little taste.” His tongue drags along my lower lip. My heart spikes into my throat. I’m scared shitless and that familiar pain radiates from me.
“They are getting suspicious of me only going for runs on Saturdays.” Bone pulls back when I say that. His eyes searching mine. Thank God for that. I didn’t know how much closer I could handle him without losing it.
“So, get the fuck out and jog more often. It’ll get that sexy ass of yours in shape for daddy.” I take a step back but his hands land on my shoulders, pulling me back in.
A sob escapes me before he laughs and says, “Get that pretty ass back over there and get me more information.” I turn to leave when he slaps me on the ass roughly. My whole-body aches. I thought I was getting somewhere with Link but every time that Bone or Dirk touches me, it comes rushing back. I walk back at a slow pace. I hate that I just gave up the location on their drop. I hope no one gets hurt because of me. In my head, I know that’s inevitable. I mean, he wants Bomber, what the hell do I really think is going to happen? Maybe that’s just my conscience trying to keep it all below the surface. I walk to the door and pull it open, only to be scared to death by Bullet standing there.
“Jesus! You scared me,” I say with a slight smile. Bullet doesn’t look very happy though. He leans in closely before he says, “I don’t know what the fuck you’re up to. I know there’s somethin’ though. You might fool Link, and you might be warmin’ his bed, sweetheart—but I promise you that if I find you’re fuckin’ him over—I will put a fuckin’ bullet in you.” And just as quickly as he appeared, he’s gone. My nerves have my body shaking.
I take a deep breath and try to calm the nerves that are racing their way through my spine. If he knows something’s up, they all must know. Don’t they? I walk slowly through the main room when I hear Trinity.
“Hey, Jordyn. Got a minute?” I turn and glance over my shoulder to see her smiling at the kitchen door. I nod and walk toward her, a bundle of fucking nerves now.
“Can you try this? I don’t cook. Ever. I wanted to make something special for Bullet, though.” She passes me a piece of cheesecake. I take it and put it in my mouth before I sigh.
“This is amazing. I don’t know why you don’t cook! This is really good.” I chew it up and swallow as she smiles at me.
“Thanks. Hey, would you take Link a piece? He’s in his office.” She slices another piece and passes the plate to me. Just one more reason that I have to be near him when I don’t need to be.
“Sure.” As if I had a choice. I walk back out and head down the hallway to the room I know is Link’s. the door is cracked open so I don’t knock.
I push the door open and see him sitting there without a shirt on, in front of the row of computer screens. Each one has something different displayed on it.
“Trinity asked me to bring this to you.” He glances over his shoulder, flashing me a grin.
“Come here.”
Chapter 19
Link
She walks toward me seeming a little nervous today. She sets the plate on the table before I reach for her. I pull her into my lap and watch her face. I can see it. She’s doing it again.
“I told you I won’t hurt you.” I slide my fingers over that soft skin of her arms before she starts to relax.
“I know. I’m sorry.” She looks down but I don’t let her. I lean up and press my lips to hers. She responds almost immediately. She kisses me back like it’s the only thing she’s ever wanted. My dick stirs beneath her.
“Gotta work, darlin’ and I’m not gonna be able to do that feelin’ you sittin’ here,” I tell her. Jordyn smiles before kissing me again. I groan into her mouth. She seems to like that. I fucking love that. She grinds her little body against my dick and I swear to God, I want to fuck her on this table.
“As sexy as this is, I really do have to work, babe. Guys have a big run tonight.” Jordyn pulls back and smiles at me, those big green eyes sparkling with light.
“Ok. I’ll leave you alone,” she finally says. I shake my head and grab the back of her
neck, pulling her face back to mine before I say, “I didn’t tell you to leave.” Another quick peck on the lips and I grab the chair next to me. Jordyn sits in the chair as I go back to clicking away at my computers.
“What is all that?” Jordyn asks as I pull up the area around where the meet will be tonight.
“Closed circuit cameras. I hacked in to check the area. See? That’s the meetin’ spot there. I always make sure they ain’t walkin’ into an ambush.” Jordyn leans forward looking as though she’s interested in what I’m saying.
“What if you can’t see the area?” She looks at me. Her eyes are so full of wonder. It’s a beautiful fucking sight.
“Then I scan the area around it. Sometimes it does happen. You can’t see everything. Makes it a little more real when that shit happens.” I don’t look back at her. I keep clicking until I’m satisfied that the area is clear as of now. That doesn’t mean shit for later.
“You wanna go to lunch? I know I fucked up our date the other day.” I slide my chair back and smile over at her. She’s so damn beautiful and hasn’t even got a clue.
“I’d love too.”
“Go get changed. I need to talk to Bomber real quick before we go. Let him know the area is clear for now.” Jordyn smiles and kisses my cheek before she stands and leaves the room. I can’t help but watch her ass in those goddamn yoga pants. I never knew something that like could get my dick so damn hard.
I shove out of my chair and blow out a breath before making my way to find Bomber.
“Tell me you have news, Link.” I find him at the bar. He tips his beer and takes a long pull before I say, “Area’s clear as of now. Goin’ out to lunch.” Bomber nods before I turn to walk away. He calls out before I get too far, “You know there are suspicions goin’ around.” I drop my head forward and turn around. I walk back toward him before pulling up a stool.
