I give Elaine a big hug. “Thank you,” I whisper into her ear. I pull back and meet her gaze. “I need one more favor,” I say.
“You’re already pushing it, Harrison,” Elaine says with a wink as she tries to lighten the mood.
“If I don’t make it—”
“You’ll make it,” she adds.
“But if I don’t, I need you to promise me you’ll look for Mom.” My heart clenches as I say her name. “She contacted you once. Maybe she’ll reach out to you again. Find her for me, okay. Make sure she’s okay.”
“I promise,” Elaine says. Tears spill down her cheeks as she squeezes my hand.
“We’ve got this,” I say.
If only I believed it.
Morning arrives encased in fuchsiaand gold. Cold air bites across my face, a sign that winter is coming. Clouds swirl together over the ocean, hinting of an upcoming storm. The house fills with an eerie quiet.
“Sleep well?” David asks as he stumbles into the kitchen.
“Not particularly,” I say. I hand him a cup of coffee.
He kisses my forehead and settles into the seat next to me. “Where’s everyone?”
“They left early, I guess. I expect them back any minute.” I take a drink from my cup and let the warm liquid settle my nerves. “Are you ready for this?”
“Are you?” David asks.
“I don’t have a choice.” But David does. I lean into him. “You don’t have to go. You can stay, take Mark and Elaine out of here. Keep them safe.”
“Not going to happen. I won’t let you face Liam and LeMercier without me.”
“But—”
“Stop.” David wraps me into his arms. “I love you. I’ll never willingly let you go through this alone, so you might as well stop pushing me and everyone else away.”
I love you, I think. David kisses the top of my head and I know he’s heard me.
“Elaine promised to leave. After they come with the meds and make sure we have a lock on Liam.”
“How did you get her to change her mind?” David asks as he gets another cup of coffee.
“I told her the truth. All of it.”
“Wow. That surprises me a little.”
“Me, too.”
Mark and Elaine pull into the driveway, ending our conversation. They walk into the house, hand in hand. If I didn’t know better I’d say they hadn’t a care in the world.
If only.
“Here,” Mark says as he hands a plastic case to David. “There’s two syringes. They should allow you to grab your brother pretty quickly.”
“What’s in them?” David asks.
“Rohypnol,” Mark says
“Roofies?” Surprise pulls at the corners of my mouth.
“Yep. The dose I gave you will knock him out,” Mark says matter-of-factly.
“It makes people susceptible to suggestion, too. Right?” I ask.
“It can,” Mark says. “Good luck.”
“Thanks,” David says.
Mark and Elaine gather their bags and head to the car. My heart strings pull. Part of me doesn’t want them to leave, especially Elaine. But I know she has to, there isn’t a way for her to stay and be safe.
“Are you sure you want me to leave?” Elaine asks as though she’s heard my thoughts. She gives me a quick hug, her eyes swelling with tears.
I nod, unable to speak.
“Let us know you’re okay,” Mark says as he follows Elaine to the car. “When this is all over.”
“Will do.” David grabs my hand, sensing my fraying emotions.
Mark and Elaine drive away and David and I settle ourselves into the tasks at hand: find Liam, then convince him of the truth.
Sure. No problem.
With our gifts, the first task is easy enough. David and I track Liam to a small hotel downtown. The lobby is empty save for the front desk manager and two patrons sitting at tables, their eyes glued to laptops. The manager greets us with a warm smile.
“Can I help you?” he asks.
“Yes,” David says. “We’re looking for her brother. He called her from here, but didn’t say which room he was in.”
Before David finishes, I’ve pulled the details of Liam’s room from the manager’s thoughts and swiped a spare room key.
“So, can you just give this to him please?” David asks as he hands over a small sachet filled with a first aid kit and other small sundries. “I know you can’t give us his room information directly, but you can make sure he gets this, right?”
The manager agrees and flashes us a cheesy customer service smile.
“Did you get it?” David asks as we walk out of the hotel.
“Yep. Room 105. By the exit over there.” I point to the southern tip of the hotel. “I also got this,” I show him a room key. “It should get us past the exits.”
“Nice,” David says.
We walk to the far side of the hotel and open the door with our key. Liam’s room is to our immediate left. My heartbeat quickens as we stand outside of the door. The world around me begins to unravel as the hotel patrons thoughts bombard my mind.
“Take a breath,” David reminds me. “Center yourself.”
I focus on his voice and breathe deep. Soon, the noise subdues.
We stare at the door and imagine it opening for us. Tension builds as the doorknob turns and hesitates. I inhale a sharp breath and hold it. The door handle moves again until the hinge swings and the door opens inward.
The hotel room is dark, the blackout blinds drawn shut. The room is empty other than the sparse furnishings and black bag that resembles my own. Liam lies in a huddled mass in the middle of a king sized bed.
David retrieves one of the syringes from his backpack. We won’t have long to do this, he thinks, careful to shield our conversation from Liam.
I nod.
You ready? I feel David’s anxiety grow in unison with my own. 3 . . . 2 . . . 1. . .
Liam’s eyes pop open and David lunges toward him. Shock and anger color Liam’s face as he jumps to his feet. David throws his shoulder into my brother, pinning him to the floor before Liam can respond.
Liam pushes against David. I run to them as David plunges the needle into Liam’s arm. He stops moving.
“Help me,” David says as he pulls Liam into a sitting position on the only chair in the room. We bind his arms behind him, connecting his wrists with zip ties. We double the ties that connect him to the chair.
Afterward, I take a step back. Liam is still knocked out. His head droops to one side.
“Think that’ll hold him?” I ask. The tension in my body and my mind refuses to abate.
“Maybe.”
Not comforting.
David and I exchanged glances and secure his legs with zip ties as well.
“Nothing to do but wait,” David says as he sits on the corner of the bed.
“For you,” I say. I close my eyes and push deep into Liam’s mind.
His thoughts are calm, drastically different than last time I entered them. I search for the memories of Mom, the images of Josh and me. The memories he needs to see, to remember.
Nothing.
His memories have been wiped clean.
No pictures of his life before. Nothing to indicate he was ever part of my family.
“There’s nothing here,” I say as much to myself as to David.
“What do you mean there’s nothing?”
“His mind has no repressed memories of any form. Nothing about his early childhood. Nothing before LeMercier.”
“That doesn’t make sense.” David closes his eyes and joins me in Liam’s thoughts. He rifles the dark spaces.
“His mind was modified, memories erased.”
“But who? How?” I extend my awareness through this room, the hotel and out onto the street. “No one has been here.”
We both know the answer as the question forms.
LeMercier, we think in unison.
Chills run down my spine. I sea
rch Liam’s thoughts again, but nothing of the past memories I witnessed exists.
“He was expecting you to find him,” David says.
More chills turn my skin to gooseflesh. “I’m not giving up. I promised Mom I’d do this.” The feel of her name on my lips shreds my heart, inflicting its own pain. I swallow it down and focus.
“Get the journals,” I suggest. “They can help.”
David retrieves them from my belongings as we wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
The drug works better than we realize. Five hours pass as the sun reaches its zenith, though the room is still dark thanks to the shades. Liam opens his eyes and pulls against the binds on his arms and feet. Each resistance ignites his fury, and he pulls and pulls until his skin is raw.
“Let me go,” he growls, his eyes fixated on mine.
“No,” I say as he conjures up images from my nightmares in my thoughts. I brace against my own fear and focus on my brother. “We aren’t going to hurt you, but I need you to listen.”
“I’ll never listen to you, Assassin.” Each word is meant as a dagger.
“Please,” I say. “I need you to know about your past. Our past.”
“LIAR!” Liam shoves more images into my thoughts.
David stands and angles his body between my brother and me. More accusations from Liam as he pulls against his bindings once more.
“You are trying to use me,” he says. “You’re planting false memories in hopes that I’ll leave the Creator. You are no better than the Order.”
More growls and grunts.
The images in my thoughts continue to unfold, clips of my nightmares and Josh’s death. I absorb the rising fear and focus on Liam again.
“No. I wouldn’t do that.”
“I’m never leaving my master.” Liam’s words come on top of mine. “And neither will you.”
David looks at me. Together? he asks.
I stand next to David, both of us facing my brother as he pulls and twists against the zip ties. The stiff plastic digs into his skin, making them bleed.
David nods and we slam into Liam’s thoughts, riffling through every curve, every fold. We extract memories of his training and LeMercier. We examine every moment of his life during the experiments, desperately searching for something, anything, that will help him remember his past. The more we search, the greater the darkness that surrounds his childhood; his memories resemble a patchwork of black holes.
“He’s too far gone,” David says. “Showing him images isn’t going to do anything. There is nothing to link them to, no way for him to believe what he sees.”
“No!” I refuse to believe I can’t help him. “Let’s try again.” I retrieve the journal from the bed and open to the page about Liam’s adoption. I read Mom’s account of the horrors of that day. The way Liam clung to her, clawing at her skin when she gave him to the social worker. The sound of his cries. The pain she felt in his thoughts as she drove away.
“This is your life, Liam. Our mother’s account of the day she had to give you up to protect you. From LeMercier.”
“Stop,” Liam growls, his eyes bulging. “Stop!”
Liam slams into my thoughts and his ferocity overwhelms me. Mom’s journal slips from my hands, hitting the floor with a thud. Tears well in my eyes and my own horrors fill my mind.
David rushes to Liam, knife in hand. In one fluid movement, the blade is against Liam’s throat. A thin ribbon of blood trickles down Liam’s neck. “Try that again and it’ll be the last thing you do,” David says through gritted teeth.
“No! Stop!” I rush to David and cover his hand with mine. Please, stop. I’m okay. I can handle this.
David’s eyes meet mine.
“Please,” I say again. I push David’s hand away from Liam’s neck. “We aren’t going to hurt you. We just want to help you remember your past. The truth about—”
A low, feral growl emanates from deep within my brother’s body. “Liar!”
Fresh pain drives through my scalp, igniting my brain. I swallow the pain and pick up the journal.
Dakota, David says as he again raises the knife.
I’ve got this, I lie.
I open the journal to a fresh page. Mom and her love for him. The concerns she expressed about the experiments, about LeMercier. Her dreams of reuniting her three children. My voice cracks on the last entry as an image of Josh plays in my thoughts.
Liam strains against his bindings.
I turn to the last page. February 5, 2016. The day of my freak-out.
Dakota knows. It’s the only reason for her breakdown. I need to take her away. Take all of them away. But first I need to find Liam. Every inquiry leads me to the same conclusion. Ben has found him. He’s training him, using him. I can’t let Ben destroy my innocent boy.
Why did I ever let him go?
My eyes linger on the last words, the pain of regret that rolls from the page in waves. The world spins away as too many things happen at once:
Liam snaps free from his bindings and lunges at me. We fall to the ground as he fills my mind with my deepest fears. I scream, throw images into his thoughts.
Liam’s eyes widen. My weapon has found its mark.
David rushes toward us, syringe in hand. He jams it into Liam’s arm as I shove my brother from me.
I lunge forward, grab Liam’s throat, squeeze. All I can think about is his death. My mind is not my own as instinct replaces rational thought.
“Stop,” David says as he pulls me off. “Dakota. This isn’t what you wanted.”
The drug takes hold and Liam’s body goes limp. I stumble backwards. Bile swirls in my stomach as my awareness of my actions rains around me.
My body begins to shake.
Tears overtake my eyes.
David reaches out, but I push him away. “This isn’t your fault,” he says. “We just need to regroup, think of another way.”
I shake my head and the bile threatens to undo me. I run to the bathroom and pour every ounce of shame, the regret and the pain, into the basin.
My knees wobble. My body shakes.
More shame spills on the floor.
David lifts me from my pain, starts theshower and helps me clean up. My emotions fall away with the water until my mind is finally clear. I stay in the shower, relishing in the heat and water that surrounds me. David cleans the floor, washes out my shirt and blows it dry. Silence grows between us. I don’t know how to tell him what happened, how to face him after nearly killing my brother, the person I’m trying to protect.
Will I ever be free from this nightmare?
“I’m getting us some food before Liam wakes. Want anything?”
“Not really.”
David nods and kisses my forehead before leaving.
I towel-dry my hair, my gaze drifting from Liam to the mirror. I see our resemblance easily now. Same angled features, same general build, same round eyes. His eyes are like Josh’s and his hair like mine. It’s his skin that makes him look more fragile.
I walk to the window and stare out at the parking lot. The sky shifts from dusk to night, bathing everything in an inky blanket. Street lights reflect off puddles, an indication of the storm I never heard, never saw. I swallow hard and think. How am I going to make my brother understand the truth? LeMercier is all he knows, all he remembers. I am nothing more than his enemy.
Liam rolls his head to the other side as he shifts his body weight. I stare, ready to strike if necessary. But he settles back into a deep sleep within moments and I turn my attention back to the blackened sky and unseen storm clouds.
“How am I going to do this?” I ask the silent darkness.
I walk back to the bed and retrieve Mom’s journal. It feels cool in my hands, the pages crisp. I steal a glance at Liam, satisfied that he still sleeps deeply. Please remember, I push into his thoughts.
I thumb through the journal’s pages and allow the words to blur. How do I do this, Mo
m? No answers come. Only more doubts. Liam will never believe me. My father ensured that. There is no way out of this, nothing I can do to severe Liam’s ties to that monster.
Unless . . .
Grabbing a pen from the nightstand, I flip the pages until I reach a blank one. The crisp page calls out, urging me to write the words that scare me. I know this is the right thing, the only way I can protect my brother. But that doesn’t make it any easier.
David won’t approve. He’ll beg me not to.
I don’t have a choice.
Words pour through me on to the page. Every thought I can’t repeat, every word I dare not say. It’s a risk leaving it in the journal. But David will find it. He’d know I would leave him something, a clue or a message.
I hope.
“Hey,” David says as he walks into the hotel room, bag in hand.
I slam the journal shut, heat rising in my cheeks. The scent of In-N-Out fries wafts through the room. I glance at Liam to make sure he hasn’t stirred. The fries smell good enough to wake the dead.
“Gosh that smells good,” I say as I toss the journal aside.
David nods at the old book, his eyebrows cocked.
“I was rereading Mom’s journal looking for something to help us,” I lie. My cheeks still sting with heat.
David’s mind brushes against mine. I secure a shield between us, locking my thoughts away. “I miss her,” I whisper as I walk toward him.
“I know you do,” he says.
I cover his hand with mine and take a fry from the bag. “I need to thank you for everything,” I say. David fills my thoughts, only David. “You’ve always been here for me—through the craziness, my nightmares, Josh’s death. You believe in me even when I can’t find a reason to believe in myself. You deal with my death wishes and my demons.
“You deal with all of it.”
David puts the bag on the desk and pulls me into a tight embrace. “Dakota,” he says. “I love you. This is what people do when they’re in love.”
Tears form before I can stop them. “I don’t think there’s a way to save Liam.” The words stick in my throat and come out with a sob.
Reckoning Page 14
