Blame it on the Moonlight

by Emily Harvale

  ‘I don’t know what you’re getting so upset about. You have no idea what it was like. How difficult it was for me. How difficult all this is. You weren’t the one who was deserted by the man she loved. He broke my heart, Evie. Now he’s back after all these years and trying to play some game of happy families. And I’m expected to be okay with that? I’m the bad guy?’

  Evie stood up abruptly. ‘He broke Sylvie’s heart too. And Juniper’s. Roland was too young to understand but … Oh what’s the point? I’ll see you downstairs. Don’t keep us waiting or we’ll start without you. You may not have changed, Severine, but things around here most definitely have.’

  Severine winced as the door banged shut.

  What the hell did Evie mean by that?

  Chapter Twelve

  Molly smiled lovingly when Severine walked into the kitchen.

  ‘Hello darling. Did you manage to get some sleep? Come and sit here, next to me. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you properly.’

  Molly pulled out a chair and stood behind it until Severine sat down. She planted a kiss on the top of Severine’s head and squeezed her shoulders. Severine was going to say that it had only been a couple of hours since her mum had seen her, but that would have been facetious. And pointless. She simply smiled at Molly instead.

  ‘This smells delicious, Mum.’

  Molly beamed at her and removed the lid from the large, cast iron, casserole pot in the centre of the kitchen table.

  ‘It’s your favourite, darling. Cheesy chilli chicken, topped with baked chips.’ She ladled several spoonfuls on to Severine’s plate.

  ‘A heart attack in a pot,’ John said, but his smile showed he loved it as much as Severine did.

  Molly tutted before grinning at her husband. ‘Give over. There’s lots of healthy veg in there, and the chips are homemade, so the only slightly bad thing is the cheese.’ She gave him an even larger helping than she had to Severine.

  ‘Nothing wrong with cheese,’ Jessie said. ‘Men working the fields used to live on bread and cheese. Where d’you think a ploughman’s lunch comes from? Full of protein and goodness is cheese.’

  Evie grinned. ‘And preservatives and other chemicals, these days, Gran. But I love it, so I’m not complaining.’

  Molly served herself last and sat down, smiling with contentment. ‘It’s so lovely to have us all together again. It’s just a pity Raven isn’t here. What time did she say she’d be back, Evie?’

  ‘Around four, I think.’

  ‘I can’t wait to see her,’ Severine said, before tucking into her casserole.

  ‘I’m sure she feels the same,’ Jessie said. ‘And maybe if you’d given us all more notice of your arrival, she would’ve been here to meet you.’

  ‘It was all very last minute, otherwise I would’ve. But then I thought it might be a lovely surprise. I texted her the minute I landed. And Mum.’

  Jessie nodded. ‘Yes. Raven rushed in and told us the second she got your text. As for a surprise. Didn’t it occur to you that we may have had quite enough of those over the holidays? A bit of notice would’ve been far better.’

  ‘Well, she’s here now,’ John said, between mouthfuls. ‘And Raven will see her soon enough.’

  Jessie grinned mischievously. ‘And Roggero Tazzeone. I bet you’re looking forward to that, aren’t you, my girl?’

  Severine glared at her gran. ‘Roggero Tazzeone means nothing to me. He broke my heart but I eventually got over it. All that matters to me now is Harvey. And Raven of course. And my baby. Which not one of you has even so much as mentioned, by the way. I thought you’d be happy for me.’

  ‘Oh darling!’ Molly leapt from her chair and hugged Severine. ‘We are. You know we are. And we’ve talked about you and the baby a lot. We’ve always asked how things are whenever you’ve called. We’re all so happy for you, and very excited.’ She gave her another kiss, this time on her cheek. ‘Aren’t we, John? Jessie? Evie? We’re thrilled to bits, aren’t we?’

  ‘Thrilled,’ Jessie said, sardonically.

  ‘Of course we are.’ John did actually look pleased.

  Evie nodded and smiled. ‘We are, Severine. Honestly. We’re very happy for you.’

  A caustic remark came to Severine’s lips but something made her hold back and she surprised even herself when all she said was, ‘Thank you.’

  Molly resumed her seat. ‘It’s a pity Harvey couldn’t come with you. It would’ve been so lovely to meet him.’

  ‘He’s really busy getting the house in New York ready for our arrival. But you have met him. You’ve chatted on Skype.’

  ‘Yes, but that’s not the same, darling. It’s so much nicer to meet someone in the flesh. Will he be coming over soon to join you?’

  ‘Um.’ Was now the time to tell them she wasn’t planning on staying here long so there was no need for him to join her? Somehow, she thought not. ‘It’s difficult for him to get away. But now that we’ve postponed the wedding, you’ll all be coming over for that, won’t you? So you’ll meet him then.’

  ‘You expect me to get on a plane at my age?’ Jessie said. ‘Why can’t you get married here? You are the bride, after all. Surely he and his family can do the travelling. That seems fair to me.’

  ‘I’m sure it does. But we want to get married at his parents’ house. It’s so gorgeous there. And huge. They’re loaded, you know.’

  ‘We’re loaded,’ Jessie said. ‘Now.’

  Evie nodded. ‘Thanks to Joshua Thorn.’

  ‘Loaded?’ Severine shot rapid looks at everyone around the table and finally back to Jessie. ‘I know he gave you an IOU or something for money he owed to you and Grandad but no one said anything about loaded. How much did he give you?’

  Jessie glanced at her. ‘Nothing more than we deserved.’

  ‘But how much was that?’

  Jessie grinned like the proverbial cat. ‘One million pounds.’

  The clatter of Severine’s knife and fork hitting her plate rang out around the kitchen. It took a moment until she was able to speak again.

  ‘One. Million. Pounds! Are you serious?’ Her eyes darted at everyone. ‘Why the hell didn’t anyone tell me?’

  ‘Don’t get cross, darling.’ Molly squeezed Severine’s hand, a worried expression on her face. ‘It’s not the sort of thing one talks about over the phone.’

  ‘Not the … Why the hell not? We talk about everything else. You all had no problem telling me how you felt about my intended marriage. Or Harvey. Or the fact that you all thought I should’ve been here, not there. No problem talking about my life choices, or that you felt my daughter might want to remain here with you and not come with me – her own mother – to New York. No problem insisting that I contact Raven’s school and get her home-schooled here. And you definitely had no problem talking about how angry, hurt and disappointed you all were in me when Roggero turned up. But telling me we’re now rich and we never have to worry about money again for the rest of our lives isn’t something you think you can talk about over the phone!’

  ‘Severine.’ John’s tone held a note of warning.

  ‘Well actually, it’s Gran’s money,’ Evie said. ‘Not ours. So Gran’s rich, not us. And we were going to tell you when you came home. Except you didn’t. Until now.’

  ‘Would you have come home sooner if I had told you?’ Jessie asked, giving Severine a strange look.

  ‘Of course I would.’

  ‘Why?’

  It was a simple question but Severine hesitated.

  ‘Well?’ Jessie persisted.

  Severine shook her head. ‘Because … because having money makes a difference. It makes everything different.’

  ‘Does it?’ Jessie squinted at her. ‘I’ll accept it has certainly made life easier. There’s far less to worry about – like how we were going to pay the bills and how we were going to keep this inn open. But why would it make a difference as far as you visiting your family is concerned? Are you saying you didn’t come h
ome because you couldn’t afford the ticket? Didn’t you have a return ticket when you left?’

  ‘Yes of course I had a return ticket. And anyway, Harvey’s rich, remember? He would’ve paid for a flight.’

  ‘Then why?’

  Molly squeezed Severine’s hand again. ‘Yes, darling. Why?’

  Severine shook her head and stared at her plate. ‘I don’t know why. It just does.’

  She was telling the truth. She had no idea why her family acquiring such sudden wealth would have made any difference to her plans. Or why she would’ve come home sooner if she had known. But something deep inside her was telling her it would have made a difference.

  It did make a difference.

  It does.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Severine sat in the lounge, drinking a mug of hot chocolate and peering out the window at the view across the choppy waters between Snowflake Isle and the town of Michaelmas Bay. She had loved this view as a child. She had loved Snowflake Cove in those days. Loved her family and friends. Loved the simple things in life.

  When had that all changed?

  She still loved her family, but not in the way she had when she was young. And Snowflake Inn would always have a place in a heart, even if that place had grown smaller over the years.

  Why couldn’t she just be like Evie? Happy and bubbly, come what may. Satisfied with her lot in life. Although now that Evie had Zachary Thorn as a boyfriend, Evie’s lot in life looked a whole lot brighter than it had. But Severine had never been like that. She had always wanted more. Always felt there was something missing. She hated being poor. Although by most people’s standards the Starr family had never been that. Until the last couple of years. But as Severine had been living in London for the past fifteen years, that hadn’t really affected her. She had felt poor, though, growing up. She had seen all the wealthy holidaymakers driving down to Snowflake Cove in their fancy cars. Her schoolfriends had spent their summer holidays abroad. Severine had spent hers on the beaches of Snowflake Isle.

  ‘Why would you want to go anywhere else?’ Jessie had asked her on one occasion when Severine had watched a plane high above on its way to far off climes. ‘People dream of living in a place like this. You don’t know how lucky you are, little one.’

  ‘We’re poor,’ Severine had said, sulkily kicking at a sandcastle her sister, Evie and their friend, Logan Dorset, who seemed to spend every summer holiday with them, had built.

  ‘We’re rich,’ Jessie had replied. ‘Rich beyond compare. Maybe not in money but we’re rich in love and family. And nothing on earth can compare with that.’

  The rest of the Starrs may have felt rich in love and family but somehow Severine hadn’t. Although she had spent most of her life trying to be.

  ‘Mum!’

  ‘Raven!’ Severine turned around the second she heard her daughter’s voice.

  Raven ran towards her. ‘When did you get here?’

  ‘Hours ago.’ Severine swept her up in a hug. A hug that surprised both of them in its intensity.

  ‘You should’ve texted me to say you were here.’

  ‘I texted to say I was coming.’

  Raven nodded against Severine’s shoulder. ‘But I’d arranged to go out with Dad. I couldn’t cancel.’

  ‘No, of course not. Why stay here and wait for your mum who’s been with you all your life when you can go out with a man who abandoned you before you were born and only turned up a few weeks ago.’

  Raven pushed away from Severine and fixed her with a tearful glare.

  ‘That’s not fair, Mum! And it’s not very nice. And you haven’t been here for the last two months. You’ve been in New York. Then Las Vegas, planning to get married to a man I hardly know, and without me at your wedding! Then back in New York. You could’ve come home long before now. But you didn’t. I almost died, but you still didn’t come home. Dad did. He saw that news report and he got on the first plane he could. You didn’t.’

  ‘Don’t speak to me like that. I’m your mother.’

  ‘Then act like it.’

  ‘How dare you! And after everything I’ve done for you. All the things I’ve given up. Do you begrudge me just a little bit of happiness?’

  ‘Of course not. I want you to be happy. We all do. But you’re my mum. You should’ve been here. You should’ve come home. You shouldn’t have left me.’

  ‘I didn’t leave you. And if you’d come with me and Harvey, none of this would’ve happened. You were the one who didn’t want to go to New York. I asked you to come and you wouldn’t.’

  ‘No, you didn’t!’ Raven’s voice reached fever pitch. ‘What you actually said was that you were going to New York with Harvey, to meet his family, and that you knew I wouldn’t want to go because I don’t like big cities and I’d rather spend time with my aunt and my grandparents. You didn’t ask me if I wanted to go.’

  ‘I did! Of course I did. Didn’t I? I’m sure I did. But anyway, it was true.’

  ‘Really? It may have escaped your notice, Mum, but we live in London. That’s a pretty big city.’

  ‘We … We live on the outskirts. Not in the city. New York’s not like that.’

  ‘Yeah, right.’

  Was that actually the way it had happened? Had she made a decision for her daughter without even asking Raven what she wanted to do?

  ‘Please don’t be cross with me, darling. I really can’t take it. I’ve had about as much aggro as I can stand today. Especially in my condition.’ She rubbed her hand in a circular motion over her lightly swollen tummy.

  Raven looked contrite. ‘Are you … Are you OK?’

  Severine sat on the nearest chair and smiled wanly. ‘I’m fine. Just tired. And a little anxious.’

  Raven sat beside her. ‘About the baby? Is something wrong?’

  ‘No.’ Severine shook her head and took her daughter’s hand in hers. ‘The baby is fine. As far as I know. I’m anxious about you. About you and me. You do know I love you, don’t you? That you’re the most important person in the world to me?’

  Raven looked a bit doubtful but she nodded. ‘I know you love me. And I love you, Mum. I really do. It’s just that sometimes …’ Her voice trailed off.

  ‘Sometimes?’

  Raven met her eyes. ‘Don’t get mad.’

  ‘I won’t get mad.’

  ‘Well … I do love you. But sometimes … I don’t like you very much. And not just you. Sometimes I don’t like myself very much either. We’re moody, Mum. And we sulk if we don’t get our own way. And … and we’re selfish.’

  ‘Nonsense. Who the hell has told you that? Was it Roggero? Did he say that?’

  ‘No Mum.’

  ‘Jessie? It was Jessie, wasn’t it? She always has preferred Evie to me.’

  ‘No, Mum. It wasn’t Dad and it wasn’t Grammy. I’m saying it. And I’m saying it because it’s true. But I’m getting better … Nicer. At least I hope I am. You can be nicer too. You’ve just got to try.’

  ‘I’ve got to what?’

  ‘You said you wouldn’t get mad.’

  ‘But I …’ Severine saw the expression on Raven’s face and let out a long, sorrowful sigh. ‘Is that really what you think? That I could be nicer?’

  Raven nodded and shrugged. ‘But I guess everyone could be nicer, couldn’t they? I just think … Well … I just think you and I need to try a bit harder than other people. That’s all.’

  Severine held her daughter’s gaze for several seconds before pulling Raven into her arms and hugging her tight. She kissed the top of Raven’s head; brushed her long black hair with one hand and then whispered in her ear. ‘When did you get to be so smart? I’m supposed to be the adult here. I think you’re telling me I’ve got a lot to learn.’

  Raven eased herself away and smiled, her eyes filling with tears which she swiped away with one hand. ‘We’ve both got a lot to learn, Mum. Can we do that together?’

  ‘Of course we can, darling. Of course.’

 
‘And you won’t get cross when I want to see Dad?’

  Severine frowned. ‘I’ll try not to.’

  ‘And … and what about moving to New York? Do I … do I really have to go?’

  Severine squeezed Raven’s hands. ‘Do you honestly not want to? Do you hate the thought that much?’

  ‘I want to be with you. So if you want to live in New York, then I suppose …’ Raven shrugged. ‘But I’d like to spend lots of time here, too. With Grammy, Granny M and everyone. And … and with Dad.’ She glanced at her mum beneath her lashes.

  Severine took a deep breath. She really didn’t want to have this conversation now.

  ‘Well let’s see, shall we? We don’t have to make any decisions today. And from what I hear, we’ve got a party to go to tonight. Have you got something lovely to wear?’

  Raven’s excitement shone in her dark eyes, all animosity and anxiety temporarily forgotten. Eyes so much like her father’s that just looking into them made something in Severine’s heart do a little flip.

  ‘Dad bought me a dress. I wanted a really sexy red one but everyone said it made me look like a tart. So I got the pink one instead.’

  ‘Pink? But you hate pink.’

  ‘Not any more. It’s a dark pink. Cerise or something, Dad called it. He said it brings out the colour of my eyes and hair.’

  Severine could almost hear him saying that. ‘Oh, did he?’

  Raven turned and grabbed one of the bags she had dropped on the floor when she first came in.

  ‘I’ll show you.’ She pulled out a dress from reams of tissue paper and shook it, standing up and holding it against her. ‘It’s a very girly dress and I wasn’t sure about it at first, but everyone said they liked it, so … Do you like it, Mum?’

  It was certainly a beautiful dress. Definitely cerise; it had gossamer, three-quarter length sleeves, a sweetheart neckline, and a slightly lighter pink velvet belt around the waist, which tied at the front and from which a stream of ribbons, in every shade of pink, cascaded down to the hem a few inches above Raven’s knees.