Blame it on the Moonlight

by Emily Harvale

  ‘So,’ Jessie said. ‘If you like, I’ll rent their cottage to you and Raven, Severine for, what Joshua tells me is called, a peppercorn rent. But you can keep the peppercorn. I don’t need an answer right now. I’m buying the cottage in any event. But the offer is there. I just wanted you to know that.’

  Molly clapped her hands together as if in silent prayer and beamed at Jessie and Severine. ‘How wonderful, darling! Isn’t that perfect?’

  Raven bounced up and down on her chair. ‘Say yes, Mum. Please say yes!’

  Severine’s mouth hung open until Jessie’s words sunk in and she looked at Evie. ‘You said you didn’t say anything to Gran.’

  Evie shook her head and smiled. ‘This is all her idea. I haven’t said a word. I didn’t even know about the Beadleshaws.’

  ‘I don’t know what to say, Gran.’ Severine reached out and squeezed Jessie’s hand. ‘That is very generous. Really generous. But I wasn’t planning on staying in Snowflake Cove, I don’t think.’

  ‘You’ll only be renting,’ Jessie said. ‘You’re giving up your rented home in London anyway. If things don’t work out with Harvey, you’ll need a place to stay and it’s getting far too crowded here. Besides, it needn’t be permanent. Unless you decide you’d like it to be. You could come and go as you please.’

  ‘But …’ Severine looked at Raven’s excited face, and smiled. ‘Then, yes. I’d like that very much. Thank you, Gran. This means a lot to me. And to Raven.’

  Molly jumped out of her seat and hugged Jessie first, then Severine, so tightly that Severine could hardly breathe. Raven hugged Severine then Jessie. Evie did the same, and finally, Severine’s dad hugged everyone.

  ‘This means the world to all of us,’ John said.

  ‘And Evie.’ Jessie took Evie’s hand in hers. ‘I’ll do the same for you if you like. Although we may have to wait a while for another cottage in Snowflake Cove and I know you’re perfectly happy living here. And with Zachary around, I don’t think you’ll be needing help from me in any case.’

  Evie hugged Jessie again and smiled at Severine. ‘I can always move in with Severine.’ She winked. ‘That was a joke, Severine. I’m very happy where I am.’

  ‘You are very welcome to move in with me and Raven, anytime.’

  Severine looked around at her family and their happy faces and smiled.

  Was this really happening? Had she really said yes? Had she actually agreed to stay in Snowflake Cove, even for a little while?

  Raven was jumping up and down again. ‘We’re gonna be living in Snowflake Cove.’

  Reality dawned on Severine like a wet shower. But it was a warm, wet shower. Not bad, exactly. Just rather surprising. And she was suddenly wide awake.

  She and Raven would soon be moving into a cottage in Snowflake Cove. Albeit on a temporary basis. She couldn’t move here permanently. And she’d have to give Harvey some sort of explanation for her prolonged stay.

  But this would give her time to think. Time to really decide where – and with whom – she wanted to spend her life. It would give her and Raven a home of their own.

  It was like a dream come true.

  Her dream. The dream she had last night.

  Hell’s Bells!

  How bizarre was that?

  It was almost as if this was meant to be.

  As if it was what she really wanted. Or at least what her subconscious wanted.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Luna awoke to the smell of coffee; she jumped out of bed and rushed downstairs. Mason was in the kitchen making breakfast and he beamed at her when she entered, rubbing her eyes.

  ‘Good morning, sweetheart. Look! I believe there’s been a marked improvement.’

  He had both feet on the floor and was only leaning on one crutch.

  Luna gave him a joyful smile. ‘That’s wonderful, Mason. But please don’t overdo it. Here. Sit down and let me finish making breakfast.’

  He hesitated for a moment but soon gave in and sat.

  ‘Tell me about last night,’ he said, his eagerness to hear about it, evident from his tone. ‘Did you get some great photos? Did you have fun? I believe I heard you come home around midnight. Thank you for the text to let me know. That was most kind of you to go to Logan’s aid. I hope he showed his appreciation. But of course he did. He’s such a kind and thoughtful young man.’

  ‘I did get some great shots,’ Luna said, putting the toast Mason had started, on to a plate and handing it to him. ‘The restaurant was packed, and yes, Logan was grateful. He kept thanking me on the way home in his mum’s car. She came to pick us up because she wouldn’t let Logan drive yesterday.’ She smiled at the memory of that.

  ‘Mum’s coming to get us,’ Logan had said, as they were closing up. ‘She insisted I couldn’t drive and she was probably right to do so. I got so drunk at my opening party that I couldn’t remember a thing. Not even kissing Severine.’ He gave her an odd look but she ignored it. ‘Not one thing. Except for looking at the moon – and you.’

  ‘Me?’ She almost dropped the bag containing her clothes she’d changed out of earlier.

  He nodded. ‘You.’

  She hurried to the door. ‘Well. Um. It was a beautiful moon.’ She needed to quickly change the subject from the night of the party. ‘And it’s just as gorgeous tonight. I took lots of photos before I got here. I was hoping to take some more on the way home but it’s clouded over now.’

  He closed and locked the door behind her. ‘Oh shit. Have I ruined your night? I’m so sorry. But I’ll make it up to you.’

  ‘You haven’t ruined anything.’ She kept a safe distance between them as they waited for his mum. ‘The forecast for tomorrow is good so I’ll get more shots tomorrow night. You don’t need to make anything up to me.’

  ‘I want to. Especially as you won’t let me pay you for tonight.’ He moved a little closer.

  She moved further away.

  ‘Will you need me tomorrow, do you think? Lucy did look rough. Let me know if she calls in sick and I’ll come and give you a hand.’

  ‘What about your photos?’

  ‘I’ll take some on the way here and some on the way home.’

  ‘I can’t ask you to do that.’

  ‘I offered. It’s no problem. Call me. I’ve texted you my number.’

  ‘You’re really kind, Luna.’ He took a step towards her. ‘I don’t know how I would’ve coped without you here tonight. So I’ll make you a deal. Whether Lucy comes to work tomorrow or not, when I close up here, I’ll take you up to Michaelmas Great Wood. There’s a spectacular view from there, and you’ll get some very artistic shots of the moonlight through the trees.’

  ‘It’s a date,’ she said, as one tiny strand of moonlight filtered through the clouds.

  He smiled at her in a way that made her tremble – in a good way. A very good way.

  ‘It’s definitely a date.’ He moved closer. ‘I’m looking forward to it already. And Luna. About last night, I …’ Bright light hit them both full on, and it wasn’t from the moon. ‘Bugger. It’s Mum.’

  And once again, something magical between them had been broken.

  ‘Are you helping out again tonight?’ Mason asked, spreading marmalade on his toast.

  ‘What? Oh yes. Possibly. Logan’s going to call me. But he’s offered to take me out after he finishes work, to get some photos in the woods.’

  ‘In the woods? How delightful. Michaelmas Great Wood is a magical place, even in daylight. At night, beneath a full moon, it’ll be a breathtaking sight.’

  It wasn’t the only thing that would be a breathtaking sight.

  It would have competition from Logan Dorset’s smile.

  And how would Luna cope with that, alone with Logan in the woods, beneath the moonlight?

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Severine had some thinking to do. Jessie’s offer was beyond generous as well as a complete surprise. But the most surprising thing to Severine was the fact that ever since b
reakfast she had become more and more excited about the thought of living in Water’s Edge, Winnie and Arthur Beadleshaw’s cottage.

  In London, she and Raven shared their home with a friend. To have a home of their own had always been one of Severine dreams, but a dream too far out of reach for her to achieve alone – until now.

  A home for her and Raven was one of the things that Harvey could provide. But Raven had made it clear that she didn’t want what Harvey was offering them. And Severine must put Raven first.

  Of course there was now the new baby to also think about. This was Harvey’s child as much as it was Severine’s and the reality of that would take some working out. Could she marry Harvey and persuade him to spend their lives flitting back and forth between New York and Snowflake Cove? Was that even feasible? It would certainly be exhausting. And would it be fair to either of them?

  She had finally spoken briefly to Harvey yesterday after making excuses and sending texts, and had told him that she may need to delay her return.

  ‘Whatever you need, honey,’ he had said, clearly not bothered either way.

  ‘Just a couple of weeks or so. Raven may be difficult to persuade.’

  ‘Want me to come over?’

  ‘No,’ she said, a little too quickly. ‘I think it’s best if I sort this out alone. I’m just not sure how long it may take.’

  ‘That’s fine with me, honey. It’ll take whatever it takes. You get some rest. And don’t you go overdoing things, you hear?’

  ‘I hear. Speak soon then.’

  ‘OK, honey. Love you.’

  ‘Love you too,’ she said.

  But now she wasn’t quite so certain that she did. At least not as much as she should.

  But she had some breathing space. Time to think things through. And now, with Jessie’s offer, she would have a home to do that in.

  The air was crisp and cold today, but the cloudless sky was blue. It was March now and would soon be spring. Crocuses and snowdrops popped their heads out of the grass on the cliffs of Snowflake Isle, as if someone had scattered brightly coloured beads as far as the eye could see. The first few leaves of the daffodils were forcing their way out to find the sun and Severine smiled as she crossed the bridge to the mainland. Water’s Edge cottage was just on the other side and her chest swelled as she imagined living there.

  ‘Hello Severine!’

  ‘Logan! I didn’t see you there.’ He was walking towards the bridge from the direction of Jane’s cottage. ‘Where are you off to? Oh, the restaurant I suppose.’

  He nodded, pointing towards the car park opposite. ‘Just getting the van. How are you? I haven’t seen you since … my party.’

  ‘Ah yes,’ she said, covering the distance between them. ‘I think we need to talk about that night.’

  ‘Yes, Severine. I think we do.’

  ‘Could we talk in your van? It’s cold out here and I don’t think Jane, or your mum, would welcome me in for coffee. And I’d rather not go to the inn.’

  ‘Are they giving you a hard time?’ He smiled compassionately.

  ‘Actually, no. They’re not. But I think this conversation should be private. Don’t you?’

  ‘I suppose that’s best.’

  They walked in silence to the van, which only took a couple of seconds. He held the door open while she got in, before climbing in beside her and swivelling on the seat to look her in the eye.

  She met his look and took a deep breath.

  ‘I’m not sure why I kissed you, Logan. It was possibly a mistake.’

  ‘Well. Let’s not beat about the bush. That’s pretty to the point.’ He smiled wanly. ‘Do you regret it, Severine?’

  She shook her head. ‘No. I suppose I should, but I don’t.’

  ‘I don’t regret it either. And I don’t regret telling you I loved you. I’ve wanted to do that for years.’

  ‘Logan I … I don’t know what I’m doing.’

  ‘That makes two of us. I’ve loved you all my life, Severine. I put you on a pedestal.’

  His voice was calm and almost matter-of-fact. His eyes were clear and bright. There wasn’t a hint of the passion and longing she had seen that night, and he kept his hands to himself.

  ‘I know. I like you Logan. I like you very much. But I’m not sure I could love you. Not in the way you deserve to be loved. And I’m not sure that you would really want me to.’

  He shook his head slowly. ‘I thought I did. I thought I wanted to hear you say those words more than I wanted anything in the world. Even yesterday, I thought that. Until last night.’

  ‘Oh?’ She smiled at him. ‘What happened last night?’

  ‘Lucy, one of my waitresses, threw up.’ He grinned at her and ran a hand through his hair.

  ‘Delightful! And that made you realise that you didn’t love me anymore?’ She laughed. ‘I think I should be offended. But I’m not.’

  He laughed too. ‘It wasn’t Lucy being sick. It was Luna standing in for her.’

  ‘Luna? Oh. Mason’s niece. I met her on the train.’

  ‘I know you did. I met her shortly after.’ His brows furrowed, but the smile quickly returned. ‘Something happened when I saw her, but I didn’t realise what at the time. Then at the party I was going to kiss her. But you stepped in.’

  Severine shook her head and hit herself on her temple with her hand. ‘Trust me! I’m so sorry, Logan. You should’ve told me to get lost.’

  He grinned. ‘I was too drunk to know what was happening. But when you kissed me, I forgot about Luna because all I could think about was that all my dreams were coming true.’

  ‘Nightmares, I think you mean.’

  ‘No, Severine. Dreams. Something I had wished for all my life. But the thing is, we should be careful what we wish for.’

  ‘Because when we get it, we realise it’s not what we want. I know that feeling, Logan.’

  He nodded. ‘I do still love you, Severine. But it’s an idealistic love. A long-held fantasy. The reality can’t possibly live up to that. Being with Luna last night at the restaurant finally made me realise, it was the thought of you I loved. I realised I didn’t want to spend my life with you. Grow old with you. Have a family with you.’

  ‘But you do want to do that with Luna?’

  He shook his head. ‘I’ve only just met her. I think it’s too early to say. And yet … when I look at her … Well, it’s like they say in the movies. I feel as if I’ve come home. Does that make sense?’

  ‘Complete sense. I just hope she feels the same about you.’

  ‘Shit, Severine, so do I.’ He laughed. ‘I can’t have another lifelong infatuation with a woman who doesn’t feel anything for me. The problem is, I think she may already be seeing someone else. I’m taking her to Michaelmas Great Wood tonight. I’m hoping I’ll have my answer then.’

  ‘You’re taking her to a wood? On a date?’ She sighed, and swivelled in her seat, placing her hands on Logan’s shoulders. ‘I think I know where you’ve been going wrong as far as women are concerned. Let me give you some advice.’

  ‘Advice on love? From you? Are you sure?’

  They looked each other in the eyes and burst out laughing.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Severine got out of Logan’s van and made her way back across the bridge to Snowflake Inn. It was as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders and she felt happier than she had done for a long time. Her heart to heart with Logan had done this. Perhaps it was time to have a heart to heart with the other men in her life. She had already told Harvey she was staying put for a while. And the truth of the matter was that Harvey had not seemed at all concerned. Perhaps he would understand if she told him she was having doubts about their future. They would still have their child to consider and the logistics of that might not be easy, but she was sure they could work that all out. But first, she needed to talk to someone else. And she needed to be honest with herself.

  She had been in love with Roggero Tazzeone for mos
t of her adult life. She had dreamt of sharing her life with him. Dreamt of bringing up Raven together. But he had disappeared without a word and broken her heart in two, in the process. Since then, the truth was, she had compared all men to him. And all men, until Harvey, had come up short.

  Perhaps she couldn’t teach Logan anything about love, but perhaps Logan could teach her. Had she put Roggero on some sort of pedestal? Had she idolised the fantasy instead of the reality of him?

  If the things he had said to her since she had come home, were true, it seemed there was a possibility that she might be able to have what she had secretly wished for, for most of her life. If she got it, would she want it?

  She still loved Roggero. She was sure of that. But did she love him enough?

  What was it that Jessie had said? Before you can love someone else – truly love someone else – you have to love yourself.

  Had Severine ever loved herself?

  Yes, she had been selfish. Yes, she expected everyone to run around after her. Yes, she always wanted – and frequently got – her own way. But that wasn’t loving herself.

  Loving herself meant she would be confident. She wouldn’t need a man to give her the things she wanted for herself and for her children. She would be happy facing a future without a man to support her... if she really loved herself. And she certainly wouldn’t settle for a man simply because he could solve her money worries. Now, thanks to Jessie, she had no money worries. She would have a home for herself and for her children.

  On a branch of one of the trees nearby, she heard a bird singing sweetly, and as she walked, she smiled.

  Finally, after all these years, she knew exactly what she wanted. It was as if the light had dawned. She also knew precisely who she wanted.

  She wanted to find herself. To be – what had Raven said? Nicer. She wanted to be the best person she could be.

  Out of Harvey and Roggero, she knew, if she had to, she would choose Roggero. But the truth was, she didn’t have to choose. She could have both men in her life – as friends. And maybe, in time, she would have one of them as her partner. Or perhaps she would meet someone else. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that she loved them both. She wanted them to be happy. But it was time she learnt to love herself. To be happy with her life. To spend time with her family and her own children. In their own home. Roggero would be welcome. So would Harvey. But neither would be moving in.