The Curious Prayer Life Of Muriel Smith

by Raj, Carol;

  “Do you always do what’s right?” Clarence glanced away from the road to look at her.

  Warmth creeped onto Muriel’s face. “I try to. I don’t always succeed.”

  They were coming off the highway now, descending the exit ramp, turning into the neighborhood where Muriel lived.

  Clarence pulled up in front of her house and cleared his throat. “It’s been a great evening, Muriel. Would it be OK if…I mean…would you like to go out for coffee sometime?”

  What should I say, Lord? The words slipped out before she thought them through. “Why, that would be nice, Clarence.” She’d have to squeeze him in between her tutoring sessions, her driving lessons with Kevin, and her attempts to keep Natalie distracted from her grief. But, somehow, she’d manage. She had the feeling he was worth it.

  25

  Days later Kevin pushed Muriel’s lawnmower into the shed and locked the door. “The grass isn’t growing as fast as it was early in the summer. I don’t need to mow every week anymore. At least not until this dry spell is over.”

  Muriel rose from her chair on the porch and poured two lemonades out of the pitcher on the table. Kevin was right, of course. How silly of her to assume that a teenage boy would want to come once a week forever. If only she didn’t enjoy their chats so much. Somebody besides Roxanne coming in and out of the house on a regular basis was such a blessing.

  All Chloe did was sleep and watch TV and gain pound after pound. Every day she looked more and more like a whale.

  Muriel hoped nothing was wrong. She dared not ask. Not about her weight gain. Not about her abortion decision. They stuck to the weather and the national news. Safe topics.

  “You’re right, Kevin. You don’t need to mow as often now. I know your father made you work here to compensate for the carjacking. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve paid your dues. We’re even. But do you think maybe I could pay you to mow my lawn next summer? I mean, once the grass starts growing again? I really can’t get my mower started. I have no upper body strength.”

  Where was she going to get the money to pay him? She had no idea. She’d thought the money from tutoring would be enough for extras. But now that Chloe was living with her, her grocery bill had skyrocketed. And Muriel couldn’t resist spending a few additional dollars on baby clothes and furniture that she found at yard sales.

  Maybe Muriel could eat chicken only every other night. It was meat that cost the most at the grocery store. That might work. But she couldn’t deprive Chloe of protein. And she couldn’t let Chloe know how hard up she was. It would be one more “pro” on the pro-and-con chart Chloe was working on regarding abortion. Muriel hoped the cute little bassinet with the lace around the edges that she’d bought for five dollars would tip the scales the other way. She’d set it up in the living room with a yellow baby blanket and a plush giraffe.

  Kevin sat down in the second chair and downed his lemonade in one long gulp. “Well, Mrs. B, I was kind of thinking maybe you need your weeds pulled. And later you might want me to rake leaves. That’s just a month or two away.”

  It would be nice to see Kevin every week and not have to wait for the grass to grow next summer. And any teen would be happy with a little extra spending money. Oh, well. She couldn’t afford to pay him. That was that. “I don’t have a problem with the rake, Kevin. Just the lawnmower.”

  “You’ve got a lot of deciduous trees on your property.”

  Muriel smiled. “Deciduous? Do you know what that means?”

  “Yes, I do. It means the kind of tree where the leaves fall off in the fall and grow again in the spring.”

  Once a teacher, always a teacher. “And the opposite would be?”

  “Coniferous.” Kevin nodded emphatically.

  “Those are big words for somebody who wants to join the army with a GED.”

  “Yeah, well. I was thinking about some of the things you said. You know, college and all. And I’m thinking maybe I don’t want to join the army. Or be an auto mechanic. I never did like people bossing me around. So I think I’ll become CEO of an auto company instead. Then I can boss other people around. What do you think about that plan?”

  “I think it’s more in line with your intelligence. But it would probably require at least an MBA. That means college.”

  “I know. That’s why my father got me a vocabulary book to prep for the SATs. Hence the word ‘deciduous.’ But about those weeds and the leaves…”

  “Really. I can handle them myself.”

  “You sure?” Kevin seemed almost disappointed.

  “I’m sure.” Muriel took another sip of lemonade.

  “You wouldn’t have to pay me.”

  Muriel almost spit out her lemonade. “I wouldn’t?”

  “No, Mrs. B. I like coming here. My dad told me I’d paid my dues ages ago. He hasn’t been making me come. I just wanted to.”

  Muriel smiled. “Kevin, if that’s the way you feel, you can pull all the weeds you want. And rake my leaves, too. And soon there’ll be perennials to cover, and then snow to shovel. And if the weather’s too bad to work outdoors, we can move some of the…paraphernalia…out of my basement and ask Goodwill to pick it up. I need to donate Howard’s old clothes. It’s been ten years. It’s time for me to move on.”

  26

  “Clarence Hall? Mother, you’re dating Clarence Hall? The Clarence Hall?” Natalie opened another packet of sugar substitute, dumped it into her coffee mug, and stirred vigorously. Too vigorously.

  Oh, my. Muriel took a sip of her coffee and leaned back in the booth. She hadn’t seen Natalie so agitated since they’d left the lawyer’s office. “Not exactly dating, Natalie. We just go out for a movie sometimes. Or coffee. Like this. He seems like a nice enough guy.”

  Ax murderer. Recently released from jail. That’s what he must be. No wonder his wife died years ago. If Muriel could afford newspaper delivery, she’d know all about him. Sure it must have been on the TV news. But sometimes she went into the kitchen or the bathroom. If you missed a minute or two, you missed a whole story. Did Kevin’s parents know about Clarence’s criminal past? They seemed like such nice people. Maybe they felt he deserved a second chance. Well, it was a good thing Natalie was telling her now, because she was really starting to like him. She felt her hand shaking and put her mug down on the table so Natalie wouldn’t notice.

  “Mother, honestly. You don’t know who Clarence Hall is? These days, if you start dating somebody, you at least do a search on the Internet for him.”

  Muriel shook her head. She had never used the Internet to search for someone in her life. Not even herself. Ax murderer. Of course. That’s why he hung out at low-key gatherings like a teenager’s birthday party. He had nowhere else to go. No one would let him in. It was too dangerous. What else did Kevin’s parents know that she didn’t? Muriel picked up her mug of coffee again then quickly put it down. Her hand was definitely shaking too much. Even if Natalie didn’t notice, Muriel might spill something on her blouse. And it was a white blouse. Of all the days for her to wear something white. She had put herself in mortal danger. She was too trusting. Oh, Lord, what have I done? She couldn’t just stop seeing him. It was risky to make an ax murderer angry. It might make him go off the deep end. He had ingratiated himself with her. Just like on one of the police dramas she watched. She’d been conned. But maybe Clarence was reformed. Maybe his years in jail had taught him better morals. He did go to church. She’d already asked him how he spent his weekends. Lord, I really do like him. Muriel’s voice quavered again. “You say his wife died? Do you know how it happened?”

  “His wife and two children all died, Mother. Honestly. It was all over the news when it happened. You really don’t remember?”

  His wife and two children. How could anybody murder his own children? Now she’d have to move. Leave no forwarding address. Maybe go into a witness protection program. If they even took people like her.

  “Do you recall how they died?” Muriel had to know.

&
nbsp; “Mother, I’m surprised you don’t remember. Somebody who hates driving as much as you do?”

  He cut the brakes in his wife’s car. She was going down a steep mountain, her speed increasing as she desperately banged on the brake pedal, unable to maintain control. She hurtled over a cliff to her death. The poor woman. She must have been terrified in those last moments. Did Clarence know his children would be in the car? Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he thought they’d be in school, and there was a last-minute change in plans. Muriel struggled to keep her voice even. “Sorry, Natalie. I really don’t remember.”

  Natalie took another sip of coffee before she answered. “His wife was driving their two children home from a school play. They got hit by a drunk driver. The three of them died at the scene.”

  “So Clarence isn’t an ax murderer?”

  Natalie stared at Muriel as if she were losing her mind. “What? Of course not, Mother.”

  “And he didn’t cut the brakes in the car?”

  “No. Honestly. Where in the world did you get that idea?”

  “So if he’s not a murderer, what is it about Clarence Hall that I should know?”

  Natalie shook her head in disbelief. “I don’t believe it, Mom. Clarence Hall? Hall Developments? He’s one of the biggest real estate moguls around.”

  Muriel tried her coffee mug again. It was just too heavy. Next time she’d ask for coffee in one of those insulated paper cups. But, no, those didn’t have handles. Either way, coffee was hard to manage when your hand was shaking. Maybe if she only filled the cup halfway. She could always go back for refills. But she didn’t know if she could get even a half-filled cup to her lips without spilling. Or if she’d be able to walk steadily enough to get a refill from the pot up front. “So you’re sure he’s not a murderer?”

  Natalie laughed. “Nobody said anything about his being a murderer. You’ve really got to stop watching all those police dramas. Spend some time searching the Internet instead.”

  “So his being a real estate developer is a good thing, right?”

  Natalie took a sip of her coffee and made a face. “Too sweet. Honestly, I’m just so flustered.”

  “But why, Natalie? Why are you so flustered? What have I done?”

  “Mother, you’re dating a multi-millionaire.”

  Muriel shook her head. “I’m sure that can’t be right. The Clarence I know is just a regular guy. Nothing pretentious about him at all.” The most dressed up she’d ever seen him was when he wore twill pants and a button-down shirt. He even drove really old cars. She was half afraid to go anywhere in them.

  “Well, describe him to me. Hall’s a pretty common last name.”

  “He’s about my age. Nice looking. Almost six feet tall. Gray hair. A little goatee.” Muriel had never imagined dating somebody with a little goatee. Howard always took pride in being clean shaven. Wouldn’t think of going camping when Natalie was nine and begged them to buy a tent and sleeping bags. He was afraid he might not have hot water for his morning shave.

  Natalie shook her head. “That’s the Clarence Hall I’m talking about. That describes him perfectly.”

  “But he can’t be rich. He drives really old cars.”

  “Yes, Mom. He collects antique cars. They’re worth a fortune.”

  “But Natalie, he lives in a tiny little house. Smaller than mine. We drove past it the other night.”

  Natalie took another sip of her coffee and narrowed her eyes as she stared at Muriel. “Where was this house?”

  “It was in some sort of park about half an hour out of town. There was a big structure behind it. Maybe a museum. Or a clubhouse. He just waved his hand and said ‘That’s my house over there.’ And I looked at the little house and thought it was smaller than mine. And then he dropped me off at home.” Muriel had felt so good seeing his little house. As if they were well matched.

  Natalie’s mouth dropped open. “Mother. I’ve seen pictures of his estate. That wasn’t a clubhouse or a museum you saw. That big structure is his house. Everybody knows he has some cottages on his property. You know, for the servants.”

  Muriel almost spit her coffee out. “But I thought…”

  “Well, you thought wrong.”

  Muriel finished her coffee with one long gulp. “I need to go home and mull this information over.” There was no way Muriel would date somebody like Clarence. They were at opposite ends of the spectrum. Filthy rich and dirt poor. No, they were too mismatched. Not that she was really dating Clarence anyway. Whatever dating meant nowadays. They were just going out for coffee and movies. Sometimes dinner. It wasn’t as if they were getting married or anything. Maybe they could go out just once in a while. Because she really did like him. He always made her smile. But they couldn’t go out as often as they had been. It wasn’t proper.

  Next time he called, she’d say she was busy. She really was busy with all the tutoring she was doing. Now that school was starting soon, more and more of Kevin’s friends were calling her. Their parents wanted them to join one of her tutoring groups before they got filled up.

  My goodness. She would miss Clarence. He made her feel ten years younger.

  Why was it always so hard to do the right thing?

  27

  Clarence was not one to take no for an answer. Perhaps that was why he was so successful in business. He finally wore Muriel down. “You’re a person who wants to do the right thing. Always. So at least you have to tell me in person that you don’t want to see me anymore.”

  Now they were seated in a booth at a local diner, one on either side of the table. A garish fake poppy sat in a vase near the napkin holder. The menus were greasy and the tabletop disfigured by a carved heart with initials inside. They were not “C.H.” and “M.S.”

  “Not much ambience,” Clarence said. “But the hamburgers here are out of this world.”

  “I haven’t eaten a hamburger in years.” It seemed so natural to be with Clarence. So casual. Just as it felt with Howard after they’d gotten through the adamant newlywed discussions about where to squeeze the toothpaste and who should wash the dishes.

  “I’ve missed you, Muriel. But I know you don’t want to talk about that. And I respect your decision. Let’s talk about something impersonal. Like travel. Do you like to travel?”

  “I think I’d like to travel. Howard and I always wanted to.” Muriel took a sip of the milkshake in front of her. “But every time we saved up enough money, an emergency came up. First, I found out I was pregnant, and Howard didn’t want me to travel at all. Not even to the grocery store. Then there were things to buy for the nursery. Then school expenses. Then we had to replace a leaky roof. Then our daughter wanted an expensive wedding. By the time we finally saved enough money to go someplace nice, Howard got sick and couldn’t travel at all.”

  Clarence smiled at the waitress who brought the hamburgers. He picked his up and took a bite. “Aah, just as I remember. I’ve been all over the world with my business dealings. Eaten in some of the world’s finest restaurants. And I’ve never had a hamburger this good. Not even in Hamburg, Germany.”

  Muriel took a bite of her own hamburger. “Hmm, these are good. Not too rare but still juicy. So where would you go if you could go anywhere in the world?” Silly her. He could go anywhere in the world. He had the money. She just didn’t think money when she was with him. She thought of him as being a regular guy. It was too late to take the question back now.

  Clarence didn’t even stop to think. “Hawaii.”

  Muriel had always wanted to go there. She leaned back in her chair and smiled. “Hawaii. My daughter went there with her husband several times. They really liked it. They stayed in five-star hotels and went horseback riding and ate roast pig at luaus.”

  Clarence leaned toward her. “You have a dreamy look in your eyes, Muriel. I think you’d like to go there, too.”

  “What I’d like most of all is having someone put a lei of real flowers around my neck. That would make me feel so special. And
I’ve never seen the Pacific Ocean. Hawaii is right dab in the middle of it.”

  “Hawaii would be a great place for a honeymoon.” Clarence put his hamburger down and took Muriel’s hands in his. She felt the grease on his fingertips and realized she didn’t care.

  Honeymoon? What did he mean? Noncommittal. She must sound as if she weren’t hoping—or was it dreading?—what he might say next. “It probably would be. My daughter and her husband wanted to go there for their honeymoon, but they couldn’t afford it. They went years later. The first time, I took care of their daughter. Chloe was quite little then. We played lots of card games. ‘Crazy Eights’ and ‘Old Maid’…” She had to keep talking. It was the only way to stave off whatever he planned to say next.

  “You and me, Muriel, reading on the beach while the waves crash on the shore. Or climbing up the sides of a volcano. Or visiting one of the coffee plantations. What do you think?”

  “We’d have to be married first, Clarence. I’m rather old-fashioned that way, you know.”

  “So am I.”

  Muriel looked into his eyes. He was serious. Her. Lonely, impoverished widow. Him. Clarence Hall. One of the richest men in town. Even richer than Phillip’s father. It was inappropriate enough that two people so mismatched went out occasionally. But marriage? She couldn’t marry him. Everybody would think she was after his money. They would call her a gold-digger. They might even think he was losing his mind. Have him declared incompetent. Milk his accounts for their own benefit. How could she set such a train of events in motion? It wasn’t right. Oh, my. This ruined everything.

  Especially the fact that she was falling in love.

  28

  “Wait, Roxanne. Pull over! I see a yard sale!”

  From the passenger window of Roxanne’s car, Muriel spied a huge cardboard box overflowing with purses. Surely one of them had a clasp that didn’t open all by itself. Please, Lord. Let there be a purse there for me. Something with a reliable clasp.