Somebody's Lover

by Jasmine Haynes

  She hadn’t brushed her hair or her teeth or wiped away her own come from between her legs. And she hadn’t needed him.

  Her kids would always come first. He knew that, wouldn’t have had it any other way. But he wanted to offer his strength on the drive to the hospital, his arms to hold her.

  And he was a freaking pantywaist. Jamey was hurt. Damn David for not being able to tell her more. Jace tossed out the condom, yanked on his jeans and shirt, shoved into his shoes.

  On the end table in the family, the phone cradle was empty. He found the portable stuffed down between the cushions. Where he’d thrown it last night before he made love to her.

  Before he’d fucked her.

  She hadn’t pushed the end button when he took the phone away. No one could get hold of her because he hadn’t let her alone long enough to cut the connection.

  Out back, he rammed his truck in gear and backed up, barely missing the neighbor’s fence.

  He’d been idiotic all those years ago when he’d fallen in love with his brother’s wife. He’d been reckless when he’d drowned his misery by drinking himself into a stupor. He’d been criminal the day he’d overslept as his brother waited for him on a nine-acre property in the middle of freaking nowhere.

  Lou had died because Jace hadn’t been there to help him.

  This time, he’d separated Taylor from her son. He’d never forgive himself if anything happened to Jamey.

  * * * * *

  She’d been with Jace when her baby needed her. It was the only thought in her head. Her baby needed her, and she’d been thinking only of herself. Only of her needs.

  She shouted at Jace that night in his truck. I’m not just somebody’s mother.

  Oh yes, she was. That’s exactly what she was. And she hadn’t been there when her baby needed her.

  She did not drive like a crazy person. She did not cry, because she wouldn’t be able to see if she did. She needed to get to the hospital in one piece. That was her duty as a mother. And she wouldn’t shirk it. Not ever again. Jamey and Brian came first. Always. Please, God, let him be all right.

  She didn’t think about how Lou died falling out of a tree. If she did, she’d wreck the car, and let her baby down again. Nor did she question why she hadn’t heard her cell phone or why her other line was busy. Inconsequential. All that mattered was getting to Jamey. And never again leaving him alone.

  She parked in the hospital lot without getting a scratch on the minivan. She ran across the pavement without losing her sandals or falling. She performed with perfect execution.

  She would be the perfect mother from now on. As soon as she made sure her sons were all right.

  * * * * *

  Taylor wasn’t in the emergency room when he got to the hospital, but he’d parked next to her van in the lot, so Jace knew she’d made it there safely. His mom entered through a door on the right. Dad, Connie, Mitch, David, and the kids were clustered in the corner. Nobody saw him.

  “Taylor’s with him. He’ll be fine. He broke his arm.”

  Jesus, thank you, God. He wasn’t dead, he wasn’t maimed.

  Connie started crying. The way she was nestled into Mitch’s arms, Jace figured she’d started and stopped several times. “It’s all my fault, Mom. I wasn’t watching carefully enough.”

  His mom snorted. “Kids are kids. They’re into trouble before you see the smoking gun. Mitchie, take your wife home.”

  Mitch hadn’t been Mitchie since he was nine, which only went to show the stress his mom was feeling.

  Then she saw him. “Jace, where were you? I kept calling.”

  David had obviously kept his mouth shut, though now, seated next to Dad, he glowered through slitted eyes. He could ask David to keep Taylor’s secret, Jace’s secret. He could hope Taylor would let him close enough to try again. He could lie to his family. And keep on lying until Taylor either blew him off or said she couldn’t live without him.

  He might have gone on hoping if Taylor hadn’t walked through the door at that moment, Jamey’s right hand securely in hers, the little guy’s left arm in a sling.

  “Jace was with me.”

  The entire family stared at her. Taylor didn’t offer an explanation, but her tone told them the story. Her stark eyes revealed everything. He hadn’t been over there fixing her faucet or riding her lawn mower, and she was done lying about it. She was done with him.

  “Come on, Bri, let’s go home. Connie, thanks for bringing Jamey to the hospital.”

  “I’m so sorry, Taylor.”

  Taylor shrugged off the apology. “Don’t be silly. Jamey’s fine. You acted quickly.” Easy words, but she’d aged five years since this morning when she’d told Jace to fuck her. “Mom, Dad, thanks for coming. I’m glad you were here for the boys.”

  His mom answered her. “We’re always here, Taylor.”

  “My butt hurts sitting on these chairs, Mom.” Peter bounced to his feet. “Can we go home now?”

  Mitch took his boy’s hand, then Connie’s. “Sure.” He turned to Taylor. “We really are sorry, Taylor.”

  “I know. It’s over now. Don’t worry.”

  Then Connie scooped Rina into her arms and followed Mitch.

  Taylor turned to Evelyn. “I’ll call you and let you know how Jamey’s doing.”

  “Give him those pain pills if he needs them.”

  “I will. Bri?” Taylor held out her hand, and her son took it. Jace watched her until she disappeared around the corner.

  It’s over now. Don’t worry.

  She’d referred to far more than the terror of those moments when David said Jamey was hurt. Knowing that, he died inside.

  He’d almost messed irreversibly with her life again. Almost. God had been on their side this time.

  Jace would make sure it never happened again.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jace never expected his dad would be the one to ask.

  “What were you and Taylor doing together?”

  They’d left the emergency room together, halfway to his truck, halfway to the rest of his life without Taylor. Would she even let him see the boys?

  “What do you think he was doing, Dad? Changing her oil?”

  “David.” Mom gave his brother the evil eye.

  But David didn’t give a shit. Not this time. “David what? David, don’t tell the truth? David, don’t hurt him? Somebody should have told him the truth three years ago.”

  She backed away in the face of his fury. “David, please.”

  “He was screwing her, Mom. In his own brother’s bed. He was screwing Lou’s wife.”

  Jace balled his fists. “Don’t talk about her like that.”

  “Like what? Like she wasn’t fucking her husband’s brother.”

  “Stop it, you two,” his mom cried.

  No one listened to her.

  Jace wanted to smash his brother’s face. He would have if Mom wasn’t there.

  “Lou’s dead. She has a right to a life.” Even if it wasn’t with him, Taylor had a right to love again.

  “Yeah, he’s dead. And why, Jace? Because you couldn’t get your sorry ass out of bed. Because you were drunk, like usual. Because he couldn’t count on you.”

  “Stop it, stop it.” Mom was crying, but Jace couldn’t stop David, not even for his mother.

  It was the truth. They’d all been dancing around it for three years. It was time somebody said it, long past time he heard what they all thought. What he knew.

  “Yeah, he’s dead because I messed up. I wasn’t there. I let him die. I know that. I live with it every night and every day.” The blood, sometimes he still smelled it. “But that has nothing to do with Taylor. Don’t use the word fuck about her.”

  “Why? Because she’s your fucking whore?”

  “Don’t you ever say that about her.” His arm back, poised to punch his brother’s nose through his face, David’s fists came up. White hot fury stabbed behind Jace’s eyelids.

  Then someone grabbed hi
s arm. Held him back while his mother cried. It was the saddest damn sound he’d ever heard. Worse even than the day they’d gone to tell Taylor Lou was dead.

  “Back off, David.” His dad’s voice, his dad’s hand on his arm.

  The eyes, it was all in his brother’s eyes. Hatred. Far more than anger. Pure hate. But David stood down when his father told him to.

  “Arthur. Let’s go,” Mom begged. “Please let’s just go.”

  “No, Evelyn. We have to talk about Lou. And Jace.”

  He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t face it. He’d always known he couldn’t face his father, but he turned to him anyway.

  Tears glimmered. One slipped from his father’s eye, caught on a lash, then slid down his cheek. Jace had never seen him cry. Not that day, not when they buried Lou. Never.

  “I’m sorry, Dad. But I know it won’t ever bring Lou back.”

  “What’s our rule?”

  Mom opened her mouth, but his father held her off with his hand. “What’s the rule, Jace?” he repeated.

  “You don’t let your brother work alone.”

  “No. That’s not the rule. It never was. The rule is you don’t work alone.”

  “He didn’t have a choice because I didn’t show.”

  “He had a choice. He made the wrong one.”

  “But—”

  “Lou made the wrong choice.”

  He stared at his father. “It wasn’t his fault.”

  “I loved your brother. When he came along, before the rest of you, I used to gaze at him and wonder how I could possibly have made him. I died when he died.” Another tear joined the others. A river down his father’s face.

  Mom gripped his arm.

  His dad didn’t take her comfort.

  “I loved him with everything I had, but your brother was a lot like me, and he could be an arrogant SOB when he chose to be.”

  Jace shoved both hands through his hair and squeezed the back of his head.

  “He made the wrong choice. It was his mistake. I never wanted to say that. I even tried not to think it. It was somehow...sacrilege. But it’s true. And sometimes when I’m alone, I hate him for that.”

  “Jesus, Dad.” David took a step toward him.

  “He made a stupid move. He broke the rule. Jace didn’t make him do that. And you know that, David. None of us wants to say it was Lou’s fault. But you can’t go on blaming Jace because you don’t want to admit the truth.”

  “I didn’t blame Jace.”

  “You did. Like I did. Because he was alive and it was easier to blame him with Lou in the ground.”

  David hung his head, and Dad turned to Jace. “I’m sorry. I should have said that a long time ago. I don’t even have the excuse that I didn’t know you blamed yourself. I did know. I just didn’t know what to do about it. I love you, Jace. I’m sorry I let you down.”

  “Christ, Dad. You didn’t let anyone down. I’ve always known what I did.”

  “I don’t blame you for oversleeping. We’ve all tied one on. That never meant you had a hand in your brother’s death.”

  Something lifted off him, a mantle, chains. He would always regret that he hadn’t been there, but his father had given him a precious gift. Forgiveness. And the ability to forgive himself.

  “You’ve changed since it happened, son. I can count on you. Taylor can count on you, too.” He wrapped his palm along the side of Jace’s neck and held him. “Lou’s dead, Jace. He isn’t coming back, and Taylor doesn’t deserve to live with our ghosts. Are you in love with her?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then I guess you better make sure she knows that.”

  “Yeah.”

  His mom wiped at her streaming eyes. Jace hugged her beneath his chin and kissed the top of her head.

  “I’m sorry I put you through that, Mom.” Then he eased back to look at her. “Forgive me?” It seemed such a blithe and easy phrase, yet he needed it as much as he’d needed his father’s forgiveness.

  “Of course, I do. You’re my baby.”

  He kissed each cheek, rested his chin a moment in her hair filled with the scent of flowers and baby powder.

  “Go tell Taylor how you feel. Tell her we’re glad, too.”

  “She’ll want your blessing, Mom. It’s been bugging her, what you’d say about it.” About someone taking Lou’s place. Not just Jace, but anyone.

  “I always knew it would happen someday, but I didn’t want things to change. I didn’t want to lose her.”

  He understood what his mother meant. Taylor had said the same thing in the truck that first night. Finding a new man would change things more than anyone wanted. It was long past time for that change, though. Lou was gone. They all had to face it.

  “I’m not sure she’ll choose me, Mom.” But he would make sure she knew she had a choice, that life as a woman hadn’t ended the day Lou died.

  She patted his cheek. “She’d be crazy not to jump at a man like you, honey. But I’ll love her no matter what.”

  “So will I.” Ignoring the ache around his heart, he turned.

  “Jace.” David’s voice stopped him. “I was wrong. What I said about Taylor was wrong. I never thought that. I just”—he spread his hands—“Lou’s death has been eating at me.” He wiped a palm down his shirt as if he were suddenly sweaty. “But Dad’s right. About everything he said. And I was way out of line this morning.” It was probably the closest David would come to accepting that maybe Lou had made a mistake, too.

  “It’s fine, David. It’s...it’s really fine.”

  And it was. Jace couldn’t pinpoint precisely why, but it was. His family felt whole for the first time since Lou died.

  He couldn’t say the same for him and Taylor. He didn’t deserve a damn thing from her if he didn’t have the courage to tell her exactly how he felt.

  Fuck was a good word in its place, but it didn’t come close to the meaning of love.

  * * * * *

  Evelyn held Arthur’s hand. The heat had risen inside the truck cab until she’d had to flip the key in the ignition to roll down the electric window. Jace and David had long since gone.

  “I love you, Arthur. I wish you’d told me how you felt.”

  “You wanted me to tell you I actually hated my son because of how he died?”

  He stared through the windshield, a big handsome man even at fifty-nine. If she hadn’t had Arthur, she’d never have made it through those dark days after Lou died. She realized now that she hadn’t helped him through. He’d bottled it all up inside.

  “You didn’t hate him, Arthur. You hated that he was gone.” She soothed his hand with a stroke.

  “I did hate him, Evie. I hated him for going up without backup, for being careless, for not listening to everything I taught him, for leaving his cell phone in the truck instead of taking it with him. I even hated him for leaving Jace with all the blame on his shoulders. I hated him for everything.”

  God in heaven, she’d had no idea the weight Arthur had carried. She stroked his cheek.

  “Maybe you hated yourself for not being there that day.”

  He grabbed her knee, squeezed almost to the point of pain. “I didn’t want you to hate me for those terrible thoughts.”

  “Arthur, you’re the most important thing in the world to me. I could never hate you. I’m so sorry I couldn’t help you.”

  “No, Evie, I’m sorry. I wasn’t good for you. All those nights you cried yourself to sleep, I wanted to hold you, I really did.” He drew in a breath. She felt his pain inside her own body. “But I kept seeing him lying there, the ground beneath him dark with his own...”

  She petted him, comforted him, wiped away the tears. “Shh, my darling. You did your best for me, for all of us.” It was so easy for women to pour out their hearts. But a strong man couldn’t let the pain out.

  God worked in mysterious ways. If Jace hadn’t fallen in love with Taylor, if Taylor hadn’t returned that affection, if poor little Jamey hadn’t fallen out of
the tree. If David and Jace hadn’t almost come to blows in the parking lot...Arthur would have carried his pain in silence and killed himself with the stress of holding it all inside.

  “You can tell me anything, Arthur. I’ll always love you, no matter what.”

  He turned to look at her, a tear teetering on his eyelashes, a tremble on his lips. “I miss him so goddamn much.”

  “So do I.” Then she gave in to her own tears.

  Arthur held her and let her cry. They held each other.

  * * * * *

  Taylor stood at the kitchen window. The boys laughed in the family room. Brian had the markers out and was decorating Jamey’s cast. There would be ink everywhere, but the stains would serve as a reminder to her. She desperately wanted a shower, but she was afraid to go where she couldn’t hear them.

  Instead she’d made coffee.

  And remembered the expression on Evelyn’s face, the look in Arthur’s eyes. Horror. Disbelief. She’d been with Jace.

  At least she didn’t have to lie anymore. She wouldn’t sneak out to meet him nor call him in the middle of the night. He wouldn’t be coming around again, except to take the boys out. She would never take him away from the boys. Nor would she indulge herself at their expense. She was done pushing this family to their limits.

  She wasn’t sure who to expect first. Evelyn on her own? Evelyn and Arthur together? Connie? David? God forbid. She’d paraded naked in front of him, and she hadn’t been able to meet his gaze in the emergency room.

  Jace was the first to arrive, pulling into the driveway. Cutting the engine, he sat for long moments. With the slant of the sun, she wasn’t sure he could see her in the window.

  She didn’t have a clue what he planned to say, but she couldn’t go on letting him try to fill Lou’s shoes. He deserved more than that. He couldn’t go on taking care of his brother’s family as if he were to blame for what happened to Lou.

  Lord, she’d miss the way he touched her, the way he made her feel. She’d ache when he would come over to play with the boys or take them out or drop them off after Little League.