Innocence

by Kristin Mayer

  Arms came around me as Jaxson’s hand caressed my stomach. “Ty is with my parents tonight. He’s decided to make a list of why we need a dog. Dad’s helping him come up with convincing reasons.”

  I chuckled. Since explaining a brother or sister would be a ways down the road, Ty decided we needed to practice on a puppy to show how responsible he was so he could get a sibling.

  “You know you’re going to get him a puppy.” Then it registered. We were alone. “We’re alone.” Tilting my head back, I gave access to my neck as I felt the warmth of his lips press against the pulsing vein in my neck.

  My shirt lifted and Jaxson turned me toward him. Slowly he undressed me as I him. I touched his hardened muscles that quickened under my touch.

  “I will never take your touch for granted.” Jaxson’s words elicited goose bumps along my skin. We took a few steps back until the back of my knees hit the mattress. “I will never stop loving you.” Tenderly he laid me on the bed and positioned himself above me, waiting to join us together. “I will cherish this moment for the rest of my life.”

  WE WERE IN MOBILE, ALABAMA at the Healing with Horses event. My parents always donated to the cause as it helped children with disabilities learn to cope. It was an amazing organization. Last year, Dad won the award he was presenting this year; Healing with Horses Humanitarian Award. I saw pictures but wasn’t able to attend since I was in prison. Dad donated several horses as well as his time to the organization.

  Jaxson called from the other room of the hotel suite as I put the last touches of makeup on. “London, are you almost ready?”

  We were running ten minutes behind schedule. I texted Dad to let him know, since we were meeting him for the event. “Coming. It’s your fault I’m late.”

  “That’s what you were doing a bit ago.”

  “Jaxson!” I mock scolded from the other room and heard a laugh. It was true; Jaxson’s lips coerced me to stay in bed longer than I should have. But the rewards of his tongue were worth it.

  Putting in my dangling earrings, I took a look at my elegant black dress that sparkled in the light with an underlying gray tone. A few wisps of dark hair framed my face. The theme color was black and gold this year. Pam and I found the dress in Denver. It was stunning.

  The tall, black stilettos clicked against the marble tile on the floor as I made my way to the living room.

  Jaxson paused as he put down the remote. “You take my breath away, London. Truly.”

  I stood motionless as I gazed at the site of my husband dressed in a tux. His messy hair rumpled in a way that screamed sex.

  A broad smile spread across my face. I walked up to him. “I sometimes can’t believe I have you as mine. All those years in prison, I never imagined—”

  “Sweetheart, you deserve everything you have and more.”

  Softly, I kissed his lips. “I love you so much.”

  “And I’ll never stop loving you.”

  Guiding me out of the room, we headed to the ballroom. Guests dressed to the nines were arriving as we stood in line to enter the room. As we stepped over the threshold, the smell of begonias filled the room; their petals sprayed with the theme colors. Dad waved to us and we made our way toward him. The beautiful gold-glittered black table dressing gave a royal feel. I felt like a princess in my dress. I remembered as a kid how much Mom always loved these charity events. I missed her not being here. I missed her not being part of my life and seeing the woman I was becoming. But, we sent videos for Dad to play for her when he visited.

  Dad hugged me to him. “You look beautiful, punkin’.”

  “Thanks, Daddy. I missed you.”

  Whispering in my ear, he said, “I think marriage suits you.”

  “I have to agree.”

  The night proceeded with several speeches as well as videos from the year. Tender moments brought tears to my eyes as children overcame obstacles in their lives through the tender touch of a horse. Seeing the children light up while brushing the horses, riding them, and caring for them.

  For a couple of summers before dancing took over my schedule, I spent time helping these children. It was near and dear to my heart. I smiled to myself as I thought about Sparkles putting on many a show for the kids on the opening day to help ease the apprehension of being around such a large animal. From time to time, with the more difficult cases, Sparkles was brought out to work with the children. It was something we did as a family. Mom baked treats for the kids after the lessons.

  The memories were good ones I hadn’t thought of in a long time.

  The announcer cued my dad to walk up on the stage. He greeted the audience, accompanied with a gentle smile. This year he was starting a scholarship fund in my mother’s name to help children who weren’t able to afford this type of therapy. The McCole’s already made a generous donation. Several children would get the help they desperately needed because of this.

  The crowd applauded. He looked dashing as he waited for the cheers to calm down. I was unable to wipe the grin from my face.

  This time last year, I wasn’t able to attend. Dad was alone. The thoughts were sobering with how far life had taken me.

  Dad finished the speech and a classical song played by the three-piece band filled the air. I leaned in to Jaxson. “I’ll be right back. I need the ladies room.”

  “Hurry. I want to dance with my wife. Then later, I want to take you to bed.”

  Heat graced my face as Dad sat next to me. Quickly, I excused myself after giving him a congratulatory hug. With the crowd, it took me a bit to make it through as people remembered me from my days of involvement. Finally, I made it to the hallway where the restrooms were before my bladder exploded.

  “London!”

  I stopped as unease slid down my spine.

  My feet were rooted in place for a mere second before I remembered myself and whirled around at the familiar voice. The man I knew for many years stood in front of me. I wasn’t sure how I felt, but there were no feelings of regret or wishing he chose me like there had been—only confirming my feelings.

  Stiffly, I greeted him. “Charles.”

  Glancing around, I saw no one else. We were alone. The last thing I wanted was to irritate whoever was behind the notes since Charles seemed to be the trigger. So far, after heeding their warning, nothing more happened. I wanted it to stay that way until there was concrete evidence pointing out who the culprit was.

  He took a step forward while unbuttoning his suit jacket. I took a step back. There was an illuminated exit sign behind me if I needed to leave. I wasn’t trapped, but my phone was at the table within my clutch.

  Dammit. Why hadn’t I brought it?

  I forced myself to remain outwardly calm while my insides shook with apprehension.

  “London, I’ve been trying to reach you. I figured you would be here tonight.”

  “Who’s with you?”

  A wrinkle crossed his brow and his shoulders slumped. Resigned, he answered, “Rachel and her family.” He took another step forward and I backed up twice as many. “I know how this looks, London.”

  He was a piece of work keeping Rachel on the line while trying to find me on the side. However, it was what happened to me while I was in prison. Maybe Charles needed two women in his life. One for presentation purposes and one for fun. The thought sickened me. I remained silent.

  “You look beautiful. You always were the most gorgeous woman in the room when we went to events together. I loved having you on my arm.” He paused before I had a chance to set him straight on my availability. “London, can we talk? Are you still seeing that fucker?”

  The sarcastic demeaning voice fueled my irritation. Raising my hand, I showed my wedding ring. “I’m married to Jaxson. We were married two weeks ago.”

  Charles rushed me in a flurry. A sharp pain radiated through my back as he pushed me against the wall. “Let go, Charles. You’re hurting me.”

  A pained expression tore across his face. “How could you not give u
s a chance? How could you not give me a chance to escape the hell I’ve found myself in? How could you give up on us? Our love? We were the real thing, London.”

  “Get your fucking hands off my wife, you son of a bitch.” The menacing no-nonsense voice was steel through the air. This was the second time I had ever heard Jaxson this mad. The time before had been on the phone with Charles.

  Charles’ blue eyes continued to penetrate mine. “She was mine. Is mine. I had her first.”

  Before I was able to push Charles away, he was yanked from me. Anger flowed through me. Jaxson stood furiously protective in front of me. “Come near her again and I’ll have a restraining order and whatever the fuck is needed to keep you away. I’ll have no issues taking it public and ruining your chance at office. Stay. Away.”

  Stepping slightly to the side, but staying behind him, Charles clenched his jaw. Losing my temper would only increase the tension. I changed tactics. “Charles, I fell in love with Jaxson. I am his. We have a past like everyone does. It will always be the past.”

  Incredulously, Charles looked at me. “London, you can’t mean that. I meant every word I said the last day at the prison. Every. Word.”

  I ignored the last part of the sentence. “I love Jaxson, Charles. With my whole heart or I wouldn’t have married him. You know that about me. I don’t do anything unless I’m being true to myself. That hasn’t changed, even with prison.”

  Backing away, Jaxson put his hand on my lower waist and guided me out of the hallway. Charles said nothing to our retreating backs. This was too surreal. Nervously, I glanced around to see if anyone else was there watching us.

  The corridor remained eerily empty. I hoped this incident wasn’t another trigger.

  Concerned, Jaxson asked, “Are you okay? I got worried when you didn’t come back after a few minutes.”

  “A lot of people stopped me to talk. It took me longer than expected.” I leaned against Jaxson. “I want to go to our room after I say bye to Dad. I’m exhausted.”

  Searching out my father, we gave our goodnights. “Great speech, Daddy. I’m tired from all the travel. I’m going to go rest. Don’t forget Millie and her Aunt Diane are coming for breakfast in the morning.”

  For a second I thought about mentioning Charles, but that would only add worry when it had been handled.

  Dad gave me a kiss on the forehead. “I won’t. That flu really took it out of you. Rest up.”

  “It did. I’m almost back to new.”

  “Night, punkin’.”

  “Night, Dad.”

  After giving me a quick kiss, he and Jaxson exchanged goodbye’s.

  A few people stopped Jaxson or me as we left because of his connections in the horse world. There were a few who expressed interest in attending the McCole Classic. Underneath the calm friendly exterior, I knew Jaxson was boiling from what happened earlier with Charles with his barely contained restraint.

  A chill ran up my spine as I felt an unwanted stare. My eyes caught Charles’ pleading ones while he stood next to Rachel while she was otherwise engaged with her parents. How could you not give me a chance to escape the hell I found myself in? The words from the hallway echoed back in my mind.

  Hell? What kind of hell had he found himself in?

  The elevator dinged with its arrival and we stepped into the mirrored walls, all watching me which left me feeling on edge as if the stalker was monitoring my every move.

  What was Charles saying? Was it in reference to Rachel? Running for office? Leaving Me?

  Would it have mattered?

  I looked up at Jaxson as he stared ahead. No, nothing would have changed. Jaxson was who I was meant to be with. Nothing stirred within me while I was in Charles’ arms. Even now with only Jaxson’s arm wrapped around me, the energy was felt at every connecting point. More than I ever felt with Charles.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  The elevator opened and we stepped into the ecru with gold trim corridor. “Just something Charles said. How could I not give him a chance to escape the hell he found himself in?”

  The card reader to our door made a beeping sound as it granted us access. As soon as the door closed, Jaxson turned to face me. “So, is this your subtle way of saying you made a mistake?”

  Fury erupted to the surface that I pent up downstairs. Some of it was misplaced, but this hurt. I pointed at Jaxson and took a step forward. “Don’t take this out on me! Have I ever once given you the impression I thought I made a mistake? I’m not like that! It hurts you don’t know me better since I’m your wife and think of Ty as mine!”

  Tears threatened to spill over. Jaxson was shocked at my outburst. Momentarily stunned. Turning on my heel, I headed to our bathroom and locked the door behind me. The hurt was deep as my heart felt like it was breaking in two.

  Marriage was trust.

  Marriage was love.

  Marriage was forever.

  I slid down the wall as the tears tracked down my face. The handle on the door moved. With the lock engaged, Jaxson was kept out. I needed a minute to collect my thoughts before more hurtful words were spoken.

  One thing I learned from Mom, “Words can never be unheard, London. Make sure you mean everything you say.”

  “London, open up.” The muffled voice came through the door.

  My eyes closed shut. “Not right now.” The tremble in my voice was evident.

  The door rattled again while Jaxson pleaded once more. My silence I’m sure spoke volumes as I lost myself in my thoughts.

  How long had Jaxson doubted my feelings for him? I took my wedding vows seriously. Maybe we rushed into this? Even as I tried to believe we had, I knew I hadn’t.

  But was Jaxson rushed?

  A hand touched my face and I jumped. Jaxson dropped the door key which was probably hidden above the doorframe. “Sweetheart, I’m so fucking sorry. I was so wrapped up in that asshole, I wasn’t seeing reason. He had his hands on you and it took everything I had not to hurt him.” Hands cradled my cheeks. “I know you, London. I know you would never make a lifelong commitment without being sure. Charles may have known you longer, but I know your heart. I have it forever.”

  I nodded as more tears fell. “The hell Charles referenced may give us more information as to what happened. That was why I was thinking about it. I may not love Charles, Jaxson, but if he’s in trouble I want to help.”

  Jaxson swallowed hard and brought me into his lap. “If he was coerced to leave you because of someone’s agenda—”

  I put my hands to his lips. “Jaxson, it wouldn’t change my feelings for you. My life is with you and Ty. Not Charles. But as a human being, I feel compassion for someone I once shared a relationship with. That’s all.”

  Lips pressed against mine. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. I’m so sorry I jumped to conclusions.”

  Nestling into him, his thrumming heartbeat centered me. “Jaxson, talk to me first next time. I’ll never lie to you. I promise.”

  “Never again.” In one fluid movement, Jaxson stood with me in his arms. “I’m going to make love to my wife all night long. You’ll never doubt how much I love you, London. Never again.”

  NEARLY HOME, I GAZED OUT at the mountains still thinking about this morning after breakfast. With Jaxson on the phone since we landed regarding the upcoming McCole Classic, I recounted this morning’s events. Would we ever have answers?

  Sitting at the breakfast table of the hotel, Dad along with Millie and her Aunt Diane, ate with us. I loved Millie’s aunt. Claimed her as my own. She was a kind-spirited woman. Since I was released, Aunt Diane had been up north visiting her children since Millie was able to help with her mom, who was continuing to recover. We hoped for a cancer-free report at the next appointment.

  I took the last bite of French toast and pushed the porcelain plate away. “I’m stuffed. That was delicious.”

  Time to leave approached as our plane left in three hours. Diane pressed the mauve-colored cloth to
her mouth. “Me too. I’m glad I got to see you, London. I missed seeing my girls together. And your husband is quite the catch.”

  Jaxson captured Aunt Diane’s attention from the moment he walked into the room. She was a feisty lady. A chuckle escape Jaxson as he winked at me.

  “She has impeccable taste.” Jaxson winked at me while Aunt Diane laughed.

  We all joined in as Aunt Diane fanned herself. Not answering and only giving me a devilish smile, Jaxson had me giggling. Millie stood. “Let me help you guys with your stuff before you have to leave.”

  Millie mentioned a new ice cream flavor she tried last night on the phone. I hardly slept wondering what had been found. Dad offered to keep Aunt Diane company while we brought down our stuff. I’d let him know after I heard from Millie what was going on.

  Leaving the restaurant, I acted as natural as possible. From the corner of my eye, I saw Charles with his parents, Rachel and her parents. Caroline waved and excused herself. I focused my attention on Caroline and not the malice stares from Rachel. Charles Senior gave me a wave and I smiled. I still hadn’t seen him since I got out. He remained in his chair, talking more animatedly with Rachel’s parents. If he left the table, the awkwardness would only amplify. I was grateful for Charles Senior’s help in distracting the Graves.

  Before I brought my attention back to Caroline, I saw the pure hatred in Rachel’s eyes and I knew somehow she was involved. Jaxson’s arm protectively went around me.

  “London, how are you doing? I couldn’t believe that was you. What are you doing in Mobile?”

  Last night, I hadn’t seen Caroline or Charles Senior. When had they arrived? Had Charles told her nothing? Her features only exuded delight and surprise in seeing me. She was pristinely dressed in a light burnt-orange suit, not a blonde hair out of place. “Dad presented an award. We flew in to see it and are about to head to the airport.” Caroline’s eyes moved to Jaxson briefly. I introduced them. “This is my husband, Jaxson McCole.”

  The warm answering grin eased my nerves. “Husband? Oh London, I’m so happy for you. Jaxson, it’s nice to meet you. I had no idea London was married or I would have sent something. We’ve been on the campaign trail. I’m afraid I always get behind on what’s happening at home with all the events. I’m Caroline Paddington.”