More to Love

by Robin Helm

  The maid turned to tap the physician’s shoulder before Elizabeth could stop her. He immediately opened his eyes, catching her staring at him before she could focus on anything else.

  She blushed furiously.

  The young man stood, smiling, and walked the short distance to her. He put his hand on her forehead, carefully moving it through her hair to the side of her head, using his fingers to touch her gently.

  Elizabeth winced, and he withdrew his hand, resting it on her pillow.

  “How do you feel this morning?” he asked softly.

  “My head is sore where you touched it,” she admitted. “Why are you here? Is Jane well?”

  His blue eyes twinkled. “You are my principal patient now, for your sister and Darcy are much better. One more day of rest should restore them to full health.”

  She attempted to sit up, but Mr. Beckett shook his head. “You should not try that just yet. You took a hard bump to your head, and I feel certain it still pains you. Miss Bennet is being cared for very well, for your mother came from Longbourn to tend her.”

  “Mama is here? Why?”

  “Mr. Bingley rode to Longbourn the night you were injured, and she and your father came at daybreak the following morning. Mr. Bennet returned home yesterday afternoon to be with your younger sisters once he saw both you and Miss Bennet were healing properly.”

  Elizabeth’s expression betrayed her shock. “My last memory is of running through the woods towards Oakham Mount. How long ago was that?”

  He took a deep breath. “That was two nights ago. I kept you awake for the remainder of the first night, but you slept most of yesterday and last night. This is the first time you recognized me.”

  “What happened?” she asked.

  “Are you hungry?” He looked behind him at Sarah, then returned his attention to Elizabeth. “You have eaten hardly anything for two nights and a day.”

  He wants to talk to me alone? “Yes, I think I could eat some eggs and toast.”

  “Sarah,” he said, glancing back at her. “Please go down to the kitchen. Tell Mrs. Brooks to give you a tray for Miss Elizabeth. Be sure to have a pot of tea and two cups.”

  Sarah hurried out and closed the door behind her.

  Elizabeth cleared her throat. “Should we be together unattended, sir?”

  “Susan sleeps on the couch.” He pointed to the other side of the bed, whispering. “See? Propriety is being satisfied.”

  “Why have you sent Sarah away?”

  He looked down at his hands, and his long eyelashes fanned against his cheeks. “Partly because you really should eat, and partly because I do not wish for an audience when I relay how you were injured.”

  “Should I be concerned?” Please tell me I did not humiliate myself.

  “No, not at all, though you may be unhappy with me.” He did not raise his eyes.

  Whatever could be wrong? “I have found the best course is usually the straightforward one. Simply tell me what happened. I feel sure you were not at fault, whatever happened.”

  He took a deep breath, and the words began to tumble out. “I went to your sister’s room before sunrise two days ago, but you were not there. The maid told me you had gone out walking.” A flush crept up his neck. “I had already noticed your dresses were a bit loose.” His blush deepened further. “Please forgive me. I am a physician, and it is my habit to assess the health of the people I meet. I know it sounds impertinent. I am embarrassed myself when I say the words, but I did notice your appearance.”

  She smiled wanly. “That is not unusual, especially in my case, so do not berate yourself, Mr. Beckett. I am quite accustomed to it.” He, too, finds me wanting.

  He groaned aloud. “No, I think you misunderstand entirely. Allow me to explain. You are a very beautiful woman and a gentleman’s daughter. ’Tis unusual for a lady in your position to wear clothes that do not fit properly. I had my suspicions, so I watched you at dinner. When you ate very little, I thought you must be trying to attain a smaller size, though I could not understand why. You are perfectly lovely as you are.”

  She bit her lower lip. He cannot mean that. What is he hiding? “Pray, continue.”

  Mr. Beckett shifted uneasily from one foot to the other. “Late that night I went to your sister’s room looking for you. When you were absent again, I asked the maid where you were, and she said you had gone walking alone, so I hurried to follow you. I was worried that you might come to harm out in the woods by yourself at night. There was a full moon, but it was dark in the trees. I thought I could hide my presence from you, but I must have made a noise, for you began to run. I raced after you, calling out so you would stop, but you only ran faster. I must have frightened you most dreadfully, though I never meant to do so.”

  He ran both hands through his thick, wavy hair, obviously agitated.

  She reached a hand towards him. “Do not be distressed. You meant well. I truly believe you had no idea of alarming me. In truth, I barely remember it. Did I fall?”

  His eyes were tortured as he looked at her. “I had nearly caught up with you when I saw you sail headlong into a large rock. You were not moving. I thought you were dead.” His breath caught. “You cannot imagine how terrible I felt, thinking that the terror you ran from was me – that I was responsible for your death.”

  “Give me your hand,” she entreated, reaching towards him. When he took her hand in his, she continued. “You did nothing wrong. You were seeking my safety. I thank you. No one outside my own family has ever showed such concern for me before now.”

  “I have not finished. You may not be so generous when I tell you all.”

  “Then, finish. What happened that night is in the past. I will deal with the consequences of my own rash actions. I should not have been walking alone in the woods at night.”

  He held her hand more tightly. “I took off your bonnet and pulled the pins from your hair so I could ascertain if you were injured. When I found the lump on the side of your head, I realized you likely had suffered a concussion. You awoke and confirmed my suspicions, for you were speaking freely in a way you never would have, were you still in your right mind.” He paused.

  Elizabeth squeezed his hand. “What did I say?”

  He looked away. “You called me an angel, and when I took you in my arms to carry you, you began to cry and told me what Darcy had said about you.”

  Mr. Becket turned back to her, his eyes piercing her. “I was so angry at him, I did not think how it might appear to anyone who saw me enter Netherfield with you cradled against my chest. To be completely truthful, I did not care. I did not even realize it until Darcy himself confronted me.”

  Her eyes were round. “Mr. Darcy! What did he say?”

  Mr. Beckett released her and hung his head, covering his face with his hands. “He rightly said I may have placed you in an untenable position. Please forgive me.”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she hastily wiped them away. He fears he has compromised me, and he does not wish to marry me. I refuse to trap a good man into marriage, no matter how attractive he is to me.

  “Do not be anxious, Mr. Beckett.” She choked on the words. “If there is talk, I do not expect you to do anything. You owe me nothing for helping me. Gossip will die down soon enough.”

  “No, no! You misunderstand me,” he said, looking up at her in alarm. “I do not fear for myself. I care only that you may be forced into something you do not wish to do. I would be happy to – ”

  A footman opened the door, and Sarah entered the room, carrying a tray. She placed it on the table and curtseyed. “You are wanted in the library, sir. Mr. Bingley wishes to speak with you at once.”

  “Tell him I will be with him shortly,” answered the physician.

  Sarah shook her head. “Mr. Bingley said it was urgent. ’Tis a matter which cannot be delayed for even a moment. A matter of life or death. He told me to tell you that.”

  Mr. Beckett sighed, rubbing his forehead. “I must go t
alk to him, but I shall return as soon as I can. Wait for me, I beg of you. This conversation is not finished. Surely I shan’t be gone more than an hour or two.”

  “On a matter of life or death?” she answered, smiling.

  “With Bingley, everything is always a matter of life or death. Please, I promise you I shall be back very soon.”

  She gestured to the bed. “It appears I have no plans for the day; I am a captive audience. Go solve the problems of the world. I shall wait here for you.”

  He took her hand, bent over it, and kissed her knuckles softly before he left the room.

  Elizabeth thought back over their conversation, musing over each exchange, until she decided there was no way to know what he wished to say.

  Guessing will only serve to bring me pain should I be wrong. He said he would return quickly, and he is a man of his word.

  She waited patiently as the long hours of the morning passed, unable to concentrate enough to read, but unwilling to ask a servant for the whereabouts of Mr. Beckett. She napped through the afternoon, but as the darkness began to fall, Mrs. Bennet entered her chambers, preceding Sarah who carried Elizabeth’s dinner.

  “My dear, you are awake!” she exclaimed crossing the room to embrace her daughter. “Are you hungry?”

  Elizabeth found comfort in her mother’s arms. “I think I can eat a bit. How is Jane?”

  Mrs. Bennet kissed her cheek and released her. “She is quite well, my dear, and as the physician has agreed, we shall all go back to Longbourn in the morning.”

  Sarah placed the tray on the table, and Mrs. Bennet began to feed Elizabeth, talking with great animation.

  “The militia has come to be stationed in Meryton, and Mr. Bennet’s cousin, Mr. Collins is coming to call. We must make a good impression, for he will inherit Longbourn once your father passes.”

  “Mr. Beckett gave permission for me to return home?” asked Elizabeth.

  “Oh, yes, my love! I saw him this morning before he left to return to London. In such a hurry, but young men always are. Such a fine gentleman. Very handsome, indeed.”

  Elizabeth turned her face to the wall, refusing to eat anything else.

  After a few minutes of trying unsuccessfully to get her daughter to take more nourishment, her mother left, saying she was to join the Bingleys for dinner.

  Elizabeth welcomed the silence as her tears came.

  He promised he would return, but he did not.

  I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

  Psalm 139:4

  Mid-morning the following day, Darcy and Bingley waited in the great hall of Netherfield to bid farewell to the Bennet sisters and their mother.

  Mrs. Bennet preceded Jane and Elizabeth down the stairway, smiling at the gentlemen. “Both of you must dine with us this evening. I shall not take ‘no’ for an answer, so do not attempt to refuse me. I must thank you properly for taking such superb care of my daughters. Mr. Bingley, your sisters and Mr. Hurst would be welcomed, as well.”

  While Mr. Bingley accepted for himself and Darcy, the latter gentleman watched Elizabeth with growing concern.

  She looks drawn and pale, and she has grown so thin her pelisse and dress hang loosely from her frame. There are dark circles under her eyes.

  He frowned. Has she completely stopped sleeping and eating? The man nearly growled in frustration. This is my doing. My stupidity in making that remark is the cause of all this. She was perfectly happy until I entered her sphere.

  As she reached the bottom of the stairs, he stepped forward and offered her his arm for support.

  Mrs. Bennet was holding court at the front door, and Darcy felt certain he could speak quietly for a few moments with the young lady without being too closely observed.

  “Miss Elizabeth, are you sure you feel well enough to travel? I would not have you further risk your health by hurrying away from Netherfield before you are completely healed.”

  She lifted her eyes to his as she took his arm. “I thank you for your concern, sir, but I am quite eager to return home. I shall rest better in my own bed.”

  Her eyes were filled with pain; her voice held none of its usual liveliness.

  Darcy knew he had hurt her, and he longed to make it right.

  He attempted a smile. “Your mother has invited Bingley and me to dine at Longbourn tonight. I miss our spirited conversations, for no one but you speaks so frankly to me. Will you promise to attend?”

  She shook her head. “I no longer believe in promises, but I will be there. Mama would not allow it to be otherwise.”

  She no longer believes in promises? Is this Beckett’s doing?

  “Miss Elizabeth, if I should arrive an hour before dinner at Longbourn, would you sit in the gardens with me?”

  “I require a chaperone, Mr. Darcy,” she replied firmly. “You know my situation only too well. From now on, I will strictly obey every rule of convention, for I refuse to give my family further cause for concern or humiliation.”

  “Of course,” he answered with a nod. “Would Mr. Bingley and your sister satisfy your requirements? I could make certain we are always in view of each other. I have no intention of exposing you or your sister to censure.”

  She tilted her head and looked at him as if she could see into his soul. “No, I never thought you would, Mr. Darcy, but lately I have realized I am a poor judge of character. I no longer trust myself where people, especially men, are concerned. You may be a rogue, and I would never see it.”

  He thought she might be joking, so he waited to see if she would smile, but she did not. “I think you judge yourself far too harshly. Will you agree to talk with me before we dine?”

  “If Jane and Mr. Bingley are in agreement, I shall walk in the gardens with you at Longbourn. We also have a little wilderness you might enjoy. I go there when I am in need of solitude, but I believe we might agree on the beauty of the place.”

  His broad smile was genuine. “I do find a measure of peace in untamed nature. I shall look forward to exploring it with you.”

  Mrs. Bennet’s voice rang out. “Come, Elizabeth. The carriage awaits.”

  Mr. Darcy accompanied her to the carriage and gave her his hand to make certain she entered safely. He stepped back, his full attention on Elizabeth as the conveyance pulled away, watching until it was out of sight.

  Mr. Bingley stepped up beside him. “Do you fancy a ride into Meryton? We never did go to the bookseller’s shop, and Miss Elizabeth’s books travel back to Longbourn with her.” He looked up. “The sky is clear. I think we may safely go on horseback. Xanthos likely needs to run, for no one apart from you dares to ride him. I heard from my man that the stable boys all live in terror of the monster.”

  Darcy nodded, chuckling. “A fine idea. Let me get my boots and coat. Since the stable boys are afraid, I shall saddle Xanthos myself. The beast has been penned up too long. After a hard ride, he will be less likely to bite your servants.”

  Within half an hour, the two gentlemen, along with Mr. Hurst, were on the road to Meryton, Darcy’s golden stallion leading the way.

  Darcy was hidden from view in the bookshelves of the book store when he heard two ladies talking.

  “Lady Lucas, did you hear the news? I was told just this morning that there will be a wedding at Longbourn.”

  He furrowed his brow. A wedding at Longbourn? One of Miss Elizabeth’s sisters? Surely someone would have mentioned it.

  “No, Mrs. Long. You must be mistaken, for my Charlotte would have told me were any of the Bennets entertaining the idea of marriage. She and Maria are great friends with the Bennet girls, you know.”

  “It must be so. One of the Netherfield footmen is seeing my cook’s daughter. He told her the young physician who came from London carried the second Bennet girl, Elizabeth, into the house a few nights ago. They had been alone at Oakham Mount when she fell and was injured, and the young man held her, sleeping in his arms, as if she were a child, clutched to his chest. Elizabeth h
as always been the most sensible of the sisters. She would never allow such intimacy with a man who was not her fiancé.”

  “But, Mrs. Long, if Elizabeth was not awake, perhaps she hit her head. She might not have known he was carrying her.”

  He closed his eyes. Perhaps it will be well. Lady Lucas may be able to stop the rumours.

  “You may be right, Lady Lucas, but I heard he was in her room unchaperoned. He sent the maid away on an errand, and they were alone. Surely they are betrothed.”

  “My Charlotte will visit her tomorrow, then, and we shall know the truth of it. Good day, Mrs. Long.”

  “Good day to you, Lady Lucas.”

  Darcy’s heart sank. Miss Elizabeth will be ruined, and Beckett is gone. How will she bear it? She said she no longer believed in promises. Did he promise her something before he left?

  His sympathy for the lady was soon overridden by his fury and indignation directed at the physician. How could he leave her in such a circumstance with no explanation to any of us?

  Darcy thought back through Elizabeth’s words. He must have promised marriage, but then decided against marrying her and fled. Could he be a rogue? None of us saw that in him, if he is.

  He tried to envision a way to force Beckett to marry her, but every thought made him more miserable.

  I would not have her marry a man who does not wish to wed her. She deserves to be happy.

  However, he knew she would have to wed, and very soon, or her sisters would be ostracized, as well. Her entire family would be disgraced, shunned by polite society.

  There is nothing else for it. I brought him to Netherfield, and it was due to my hurtful remark she was walking that night. I must marry her.

  Once the idea had taken root in his mind, Darcy began to think of the advantages – and there were many. The disadvantages were few in comparison, small in consequence, and mostly eliminated by moving her to Pemberley.

  The rather austere gentleman found that he quite liked the idea of wedding lovely, vivacious Elizabeth Bennet, and he spent a full hour imagining the joy he would bring her by asking for her hand.