More to Love

by Robin Helm

  He took several deep, calming breaths. She is not at fault in this. I must lay the blame squarely where it belongs. This is my doing; I should have told her myself as soon as she mentioned her cousin was my aunt’s parson. I will do whatever I must to make it right.

  Darcy glanced around the group of officers, determined to be friendly, but his eyes settled on a man he hoped never to see again. His smile died on his face.

  George Wickham – the scoundrel who nearly ruined my sister. He watches Elizabeth and her sisters like a hawk viewing prey. I cannot like the expression in his eyes. The man is insane. I should have encouraged her to change out of that gown when she wanted to do so.

  Hearing the sound of distant thunder, Darcy turned his face towards Elizabeth, speaking softly. “I fear rain shall be upon us soon, and it will ruin your lovely gown. That would be a shame, especially as you are wearing a new frock. I would be extremely sorry, for ’twas all my doing. You wished to change, and I discouraged you from doing so. Shall I escort you and your sisters back to Longbourn? If you prefer not to walk, I can hire a carriage from the inn, or we can take shelter in Griffin’s. You and Miss Mary did not have ices with the others.”

  She glanced up at his face, her expression inscrutable. “Mr. Collins is with us. Do you not think him capable of seeing us the short distance to Longbourn?”

  He hesitated a moment. She believes I am betrothed to Anne. “Of course, your cousin is able to walk back with you, but I should welcome the chance to speak with you a moment. Could you not have two escorts? There are five ladies in your coterie, and you have several packages to carry. I would be happy if you would allow me to be of service.”

  Her voice was resigned. “Very well. Wait a bit while I gather my sisters and cousin.”

  Within a few moments, Jane and Mary led the group with Mr. Collins between them. Lydia and Kitty followed, and Elizabeth and Darcy were last in the little procession.

  Darcy slowed his gait. Once he and Elizabeth were separated from the rest of her family, he offered her his arm, praying she would accept it.

  Instead, she focused her attention straight ahead, studiously avoiding any contact with him.

  “What your cousin said is not true,” he said quietly. “Anne and I are not engaged. Neither she nor I wish to be married to each other. She is my cousin and my friend, but no more than that.”

  “Then why would Mr. Collins say such a thing?” she asked, still avoiding any contact with him.

  He stopped walking. She took a few steps before she turned to face him.

  Darcy cleared his throat. “My aunt and my mother were sisters. Lady Catherine maintains that a marriage between Anne and me was my mother’s dearest, heartfelt desire. Supposedly, the sisters planned the union over my cradle.”

  She lifted her eyes to his. “But you do not wish to marry Anne? Does she consider herself betrothed to you?”

  “Absolutely not. Anne has no desire to marry at all. She lacks neither fortune nor consequence and sees me as her brother. Furthermore, I definitely do not want to marry a woman whom I view as a sibling. Every feeling revolts.”

  “But what of your aunt and your mother?”

  He frowned. “I have told my aunt on more than one occasion that Anne and I will never marry. She simply refuses to believe I will not obey her dictates. Both my parents are deceased, but they were devoted to one another. I cannot conceive they would choose a loveless marriage for me. Do you believe me?”

  She returned to his side. “I do. I have never met your aunt, but from listening to Mr. Collins’s rapturous descriptions of her, I warrant she is very capable of reckoning her plans will be obeyed without question.”

  “Would you have believed me had you not formed a prior opinion of my aunt based on your cousin’s ramblings?” This is the gist of the matter. Will she always require proof of my truthfulness?

  “Why, yes. I think I would have. I have said you are the most honourable man I have ever met. You may omit facts from time to time, but you have never lied to me.”

  He offered her his arm again, and she accepted it. As they began to walk, he was comfortable once more.

  “I have something to tell you, and I hope you will accept it without too many questions,” Darcy said, glancing at her. “For this, I would rather not offer proof, although I could.”

  Elizabeth nodded. “Say what you will.”

  “I saw a man I know quite well standing among the officers, talking to your two youngest sisters. We grew up together, much like brothers, but he has changed greatly in the past few years and cannot be trusted now. Please do all within your power to make certain your sisters avoid George Wickham. He is no gentleman and would cheerfully ruin them.”

  She tilted her head, looking up at him. “I shall do what I can. Lydia and Kitty are quite silly, and my mother indulges them.”

  He smiled down at her. “Is that all? No questions?”

  Her eyes twinkled as she shrugged her shoulders. “You will tell me why when you decide to do so. Until then, I have confidence in your judgment.”

  “He will not hesitate to blacken my character, Elizabeth. When he does so, I shall answer whatever you ask. Wickham is quite the consummate actor – very charming and convincing. He seems to grow worse and worse as time passes. Sometimes, I wonder if he has lost his mind. Please, do not believe him until you talk to me.”

  “Ah,” she answered, chuckling. “Do you trust me?”

  “Touché, my love. Of course, I do, but he is quite experienced with the ladies. He knows just what to say.”

  “You must not worry on my behalf, or you will be old before your time. Besides, I find myself very pleased with my present state. Mr. Wickham cannot influence me against you.”

  He stopped and took her hand. “Please speak plainly. I dare not hope you are ready to announce our betrothal.”

  Her smile was sunshine and warmth. “I am, for I now know I love you.”

  Darcy took a deep breath, feeling as if his heart swelled within his chest. “Will you tell me how long you have loved me?”

  “I cannot fix on the hour, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew I had begun. I fought it with everything within me, but I think I may have begun to fall in love with you when I first met you – even though you most assuredly did not feel the same for me.”

  He rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb. “You are wrong, you know. I had never before been so bewitched by a woman as I was by you. In fact, ’tis the reason I did not ask you to dance.”

  Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. “Really? That makes no sense at all.”

  “Of course, it does,” he answered solemnly. “I have been examined like a prize animal at the village fair since I was a thirteen-year-old boy. My friends and relatives have pushed ladies towards me at every opportunity, for a man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife. My attentiveness to any female between the ages of fifteen and forty caused a firestorm of speculation, and I heartily disliked the attention. Had I singled you out at the Assembly, all of Meryton would have had us married by the next morning. Do you understand?”

  She narrowed her eyes, pulling her hand away. “I comprehend your meaning, but I cannot forget your words.” She put her hands on her hips and mimicked his deep voice. “‘She is tolerable, I suppose, but there is rather too much of her to tempt me. She is mistaken if she thinks her handkerchief hides what she is constantly eating. I am not in humour to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men, especially when that slighting is so obviously justified in this case by the lady’s lack of discipline.’”

  “Good heavens!” he exclaimed in mortification. “I must be careful to think before I speak, for you remember every word. In truth, I did my best not to look at you that evening. I noticed your intelligent eyes, your lovely chocolate curls, and your flawless complexion in a glance, so I searched for a fault. I saw you had a treat in your handkerchief,
so I spoke of that to avoid entanglement.”

  Elizabeth lowered her eyes, looking up at him through her dark lashes. “You know not how those words have tortured me. They ring in my mind.”

  His cravat seemed to be choking him, and he pulled it away from his neck with one finger. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, Elizabeth. You must forgive me for what I said then. I am not that man anymore, for you have humbled me. I have loved none but you.”

  She tipped up her pert nose and sniffed. “I will forgive you if you will do something for me.”

  “If it is within my power, I will do it,” he said, claiming her hand again.

  “It is well within your power. There is someone I wish you to meet.”

  They began to walk once more.

  “A family member? Your aunt and uncle in London?” he asked.

  Elizabeth smiled widely. “You will certainly meet them in due time, but this is a special friend of mine at Longbourn. She was most unhappy with what you said about me. You must ask her blessing on our marriage and do whatever she requires of you.”

  Whatever she requires? He swallowed hard. “If I meet her, obtain her blessing, and do what she asks, will you agree to let me announce our engagement?”

  Her green eyes sparkled with mischief. “I shall do better than that. My mama will spread the news throughout Meryton before the day is out and begin planning our wedding at once. Are you certain ’tis what you want? After all, you have been studiously avoiding marriage for nearly fifteen years.”

  “Your mother shall be free to tell anyone she wishes, and I shall put an announcement in the London paper. All I want is for you to be my wife. When shall I meet your friend?”

  “Oh, you must meet her today if Mama is to tell the ladies this afternoon. I shall take you to my friend as soon as we arrive at Longbourn,” she replied in an airy tone.

  Though he could not help being a bit intimidated by the thought of meeting someone so important to Elizabeth, he was ready to do whatever he must to secure her as his own.

  And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

  I Corinthians 3:13

  Darcy and Elizabeth were the last of the party to arrive at Longbourn. Instead of entering by the front door, she led him around the house to the servants’ entrance.

  “Here we are,” she said, pausing before the door. “The final labour for my Heracles.”

  “Have I completed the other eleven without my knowledge?” he asked, smiling.

  “You have completed at least twelve with your Herculean efforts to heal my heart after wounding it so thoroughly. This is a special test, never before recorded.”

  I cannot bear to think of that. I shall make it up to her if it takes my entire life. He resolutely pushed her pain from his mind.

  “Why have you chosen Heracles to represent me? For my extraordinary strength and ingenuity?” he teased.

  “When I look at you, I do see your strength and ingenuity, but I also see courage, passion, love for children, wit, prowess at games – should I continue, or are you sufficiently puffed up?”

  Darcy shook his head, laughing. “My Megara, I have not yet proved my abilities in those areas, but I shall. You see me as better than I am, and I will strive to live up to your good opinion.”

  “I am to be your Megara? ’Tis a bit disheartening to think you may kill me in a fit of insanity. I do not wish to be your first wife, my hero. I want to be your only wife,” she replied.

  He grew serious. “I am no hero, Elizabeth. I fear I shall disappoint you.”

  “You have wrestled my giants and won. You bear the world on your shoulders while you try to keep me safe. You would do anything to protect your friends and relations. What is all that if not an excellent representation of Heracles?” she asked, opening the door to lead him through.

  Darcy held the door for her, following her as she stepped into the hallway.

  “Elizabeth. Please, wait a moment.”

  As she turned to him, he drew a small box from his jacket and held it out to her.

  “A present? For me?”

  “For you, my love,” he said. “Before I recovered enough to leave my bed at Netherfield, I sent to London for this. I have carried it in my pocket every day since it arrived, hoping to give it to you should you agree to marry me.”

  She opened the box and looked up at him tenderly. “This is quite exquisite. I shall always think of you whenever I see it. Thank you,” she murmured.

  He took the ring from her to slip it on her finger and kept her hand in his.

  “A blue sapphire,” he whispered. “Since ancient times this gemstone has represented a promise of honesty, loyalty, purity, and trust. The diamonds surrounding the large stone are a symbol of eternal love and desire. According to legend, diamonds were created when bolts of lightning struck rocks, imbuing them with healing powers.”

  “Perfect,” she said smiling. “You are my Heracles, and one of the symbols for your father, Zeus, is a lightning bolt.”

  Darcy hardly heard her words. She was closer to him than she had ever been before, and her scent filled his mind. He could not think properly.

  “My dearest, loveliest Elizabeth. You are so precious to me.” Darcy leaned towards her, raising his hands to cup her face, using his thumbs to stroke her cheeks.

  She closed her eyes.

  He took a deep breath, then drew back abruptly, dropping his hands from her as he exhaled, summoning every ounce of his formidable willpower to rein in his passionate affection for the woman before him.

  We must go, or I shall certainly kiss her here in the hallway. I should like for our first kiss to be in a more memorable place, as well as after we announce our betrothal. I am a gentleman. She is a gentleman’s daughter and my future wife. Elizabeth will expect better than this. She deserves better.

  She tilted her head as she opened her eyes, watching him with evident curiosity.

  I shall conquer this and do the right thing – not what I want to do.

  He forced himself to peer ahead, clearing his throat. “Shall we find your friend here?”

  “This is where she is most likely to be. I spent many pleasant hours in the kitchen with her as a child.”

  She must be an upper servant, much like my own Nonny. I am already disposed to like this woman who helped to make a happy childhood for my Elizabeth. I just hope she approves of me, despite the abominable way I treated her darling.

  Elizabeth peered through the doorway of a small room across from the kitchen. “Mrs. Bailey! I brought someone you must meet.”

  Before a minute had passed, a kindly-looking lady stood before them, smiling broadly.

  “Mr. Darcy, allow me to present our housekeeper and dessert cook, Mrs. Bailey.”

  She extended her hand, and Darcy took it, bowing. “’Tis my honour to meet you, Mrs. Bailey. Elizabeth has spoken very highly of you.”

  “Mr. Darcy?” Mrs. Bailey stood tall, holding him with a steady gaze as he straightened to his full height. “Since Lizzy has brought you to me, I must assume she has forgiven you for the humiliation caused by your unkind remarks made in a public place.”

  I deserved that. “She has been gracious, indeed, to accept my profuse apologies for such inexcusable behavior.”

  “Mrs. Bailey baked the cookies I was eating at the Assembly,” said Elizabeth.

  “Cookies?” he asked, glancing from Elizabeth to her friend. “Did you also make the treats Elizabeth brought to Netherfield when her sister and I were ill? Were those cookies?”

  Mrs. Bailey smiled, clear blue eyes shining. “Yes, they were. My cookies are Lizzy’s favourite sweets, though she limits herself to one each day now. Did you like them?”

  “Yes, indeed. I noticed there were several flavours, all quite delicious. One I had never tasted before was particularly good. I think it was some sort of nut.”

  “Peanuts,” she answered. “I brought seeds with me when I moved here from A
merica. It took a bit of experimenting, but I found a way to grow the plants in large tubs my husband built for that very purpose. In the winter, he and the other men haul the tubs into the walled porch which abuts Longbourn’s flower and herb gardens. The multiple large windows catch the sunlight, much like a conservatory.”

  His deep brown eyes sparkled with interest. “I should love to have you come to Pemberley and instruct my gardeners on your method. I designed and oversaw the building of a large conservatory adjoining the back of the house for growing plants and fruit trees all year round. Three large fireplaces built into the wall heat the building in winter. Perhaps you could also give my housekeeper your recipes, if you like. When Elizabeth is the mistress there, she will still require her cookie each day.”

  “So, you are the man who stole my girl’s heart? You will take her away to Derbyshire?”

  Elizabeth put her hand on Mrs. Bailey’s arm. “I would have told you earlier, but I accepted his proposal less than an hour ago.”

  Mrs. Bailey’s grave expression showed her concern. “Are you certain about this, Lizzy? Once ’tis announced, you cannot change your mind without bringing censure to your name as well as his.”

  “My acceptance was provisional,” said Elizabeth, chuckling a bit. “He has to receive your blessing on the marriage, and he must do whatever you ask. We have yet to tell my parents or sisters, though my father has known for a while that a betrothal was imminent. I have also confided in Jane and Charlotte, though I have not yet told them I accepted.”

  Mrs. Bailey turned her eyes to Mr. Darcy. She spoke softly. “Do you truly love her? Can you accept her for who she is?”

  He thought of the pain his careless remarks had caused Elizabeth, and he fought the tears gathering in his eyes. “I love her with all my heart, and I will never knowingly hurt her again. There will be no other woman for me.”

  The housekeeper then focused on Elizabeth. “Are you sure you love him, my dear? He is handsome and wealthy, to be sure, but does being with him make you happy?”