Seeker

by Sam Ryder

  Beat came up grinning and laughing and immediately splashed water in my face.

  “Thanks for that,” I said.

  “You’re welcome,” Beat replied, splashing me again. “So this is the super-secret place where the Three like to hang out to get away from all us losers, huh?” She looked around. “Uh, Ryder, did we make a wrong turn or something?”

  I knew exactly why she was asking. The first time I’d made it this far it had taken me a few seconds to figure things out. We were surrounded on all sides by walls of rock over which a dozen waterfalls were tumbling from above, combining into an uninterrupted sheet of water.

  Vrill’s keen Seeker eyes spotted it first, the parts of the water that were a slightly different color. “There are caves in the rock,” she said.

  I swam over to the spot she was looking at, pushing my hands through the falling water into the empty space beyond. Despite my supercharged Seeker hearing, I couldn’t make out any sounds in the caves, so either the Three were asleep or they were being exceptionally quiet.

  I clambered up, water cascading over my head and streaming down my body. My eyes adjusted to the dimmer lighting immediately, the fiery demon torches painting a flickering red-orange path around stalactites and stalagmites. There I saw the truth.

  All the goddesses were, in fact, awake. They were kneeling on cushions, their heads hanging over clay pots, their hair tied back to avoid getting in the way. Like someone who was ill, vomiting into the toilet. Except they weren’t throwing up. They were creating saliva, working their mouths for a few seconds and then opening their lips to let it run out in stringy rivulets. Persepheus and Minertha looked gaunt, the area beneath their eyes bruised and sunken. They looked exhausted and sick. Dying. Which they were, slowly and inevitably.

  The only one who looked somewhat okay was Airiel, but even she was blinking with tired eyes.

  All around them were other clay pots, some already full to the brim with primordial ooze and others empty, waiting their turn.

  Vrill and Beat parted the curtain of water behind me, positioning themselves on either side. Their eyes taking in the same scene I had.

  Vrill said, “Selfish monsters,” under her breath. I turned toward her, understanding the sentiment but not sure it was appropriate for what was happening. Yes, they needed Warriors to protect them. Yes, healing and Leveling up their Warriors was in their own self-interest. Therefore, creating as much primordial ooze as possible was in their own self-interest. But I’d never seen them push themselves this far before, not to the point where they looked ready to pass out at any second. I didn’t say anything to Vrill, because there wasn’t anything to say. She deserved to feel the way she felt, and she certainly had good reason.

  I turned back to the Three and said, “Stop.” It wasn’t a barked command, just a gentle request. They stopped, all of them. Airiel was the first to look up. If she was surprised to see my companions, she didn’t show it.

  Minertha and Persepheus looked up at the same time. I wasn’t worried about Min. She was a reasonable person—goddess—whatever. She listened. Persepheus, on the other hand, was the wildcard. She was like a rattlesnake in your bed at the best of times.

  Now, however, she said nothing.

  Which was almost worse.

  Vrill said, “Nothing to say, Persepheus? Unless your tongue has fallen out, this is very unlike you.”

  I stayed out of it. This was Vrill’s show. She needed to get whatever she could off her chest. If she was going to be a part of this—whatever this was—there could be no holding back.

  Persepheus said the last thing I expected her to say in a million years. “I’m sorry.”

  My eyebrows shot up and I glanced at Vrill. Her mouth opened, closed. She looked as shocked as I was. The sharp-tongued sea goddess didn’t apologize, not ever, even when she was clearly in the wrong. She was the reason it was so hard for any of us to stay. Minertha was far from perfect, but she was a warm summer’s breeze next to the icy gusts that were her sister.

  “I have…” Persepheus started, but then coughed, her chest heaving. Airiel moved to pat her back until she was finished.

  “Don’t speak,” Airiel said. “You need to rest.”

  “No,” Persepheus said sharply. There she was—the fiery goddess who no one told what to do. “This ends now.”

  Vrill stepped past me. “I should kill you,” she said.

  Persepheus managed to find her feet, though it looked like a major struggle, her own personal battle with her weakening body. “You should,” she said.

  I couldn’t hold back any longer. This wasn’t going even close to how I’d planned in my head. “Listen, we should sit down and talk about—”

  Vrill reached out and pushed me back as I tried to step forward. Not roughly, but firmly. Hard enough for me to get the message loud and clear: Stay the fuck out of it.

  Which was hard for me. I’d been a major part of getting us all to this point and I didn’t want old feuds to destroy all our progress. But Vrill also deserved this moment to be hers and hers alone. I owed her that much. I shut my mouth and stood back by Beat, resigning myself to being a spectator for the duration of this encounter. I hoped no one died by the end of it.

  Vrill stepped right up to Persepheus until they were nose to nose. She drew a blade from her hip scabbard. Held it up, the edge gleaming in the demonlight.

  I couldn’t breathe. Vrill had been working up to this moment for a long time. She’d been cut to the quick by the actions—or inactions—of the Three, and Persepheus had been the unspoken leader. The focus of Vrill’s anger and regret fell squarely on her.

  To Persepheus’s credit, she didn’t back down, didn’t flinch away from the threat standing before her. “Do it,” she said. “If it will help, do it.”

  This was a different Persepheus, resigned to the end, her spark extinguished. I hoped Vrill could see that.

  Vrill shoved the blade at Persepheus’s gut and I flinched. She stopped just short of stabbing her. I knew a simple stab wound wouldn’t kill the goddess, but if Vrill wanted to, she could carve her to pieces, burn them until there was nothing left but ash where the goddess had once stood.

  I knew justice would be served as a result.

  But that wasn’t Vrill—had never been Vrill. She was a freedom fighter, a righteous Warrior. She wasn’t a cold-blooded killer.

  She dropped the knife. “Say her name. Say it without threat of death. Say it because you own the fact that her death, her blood, is on your hands.”

  Persepheus’s nostrils flared. Her lips tightened, her jaw too. Not in anger, that much was obvious. Because she did feel responsibility for the countless deaths, the lives lost to protect her and her sisters. I don’t know if she always felt responsibility or if it had taken years for her to own up to the truth, the path laden with corpses buried beneath her feet. Whatever the case, she finally opened her mouth and said, “Darcy.”

  Vrill backed away as if she’d been slapped. I wanted to go to her, to embrace her, to wipe away the tears that streaked her cheeks. I didn’t go, because she would come to me when she was ready, when she needed support. She was a strong woman, capable of bearing the weight of the world if it was asked of her. Hell, even if it wasn’t asked.

  “I will never forgive you,” she said. “None of you.”

  “I know,” Persepheus said. “And you shouldn’t. We will never forgive ourselves.”

  I knew it probably wasn’t fair to Airiel, who’d been the worst off for a long time and probably had had very little input into the decisions made by her sisters. But I could see the shame on Min’s face, the way she hung her head. Even if she hadn’t been the leader, she’d been a party to the atrocities that had been carried out. She’d stood by and done nothing. That was the same as wielding the blade of death.

  “Good,” Vrill said. Her anger had been snuffed out, leaving ice in its wake. “The rules have changed, and it’s your turn to follow them.”

  “We will,�
�� Persepheus said. Min, still speechless, nodded in agreement.

  I finally felt like it was the right time to involve myself in the conversation. “Vrill was connected to the Morgoss for a long time. They tried to hide their minds from her, using the connection to force her to carry out their plans, but they let their guard down. Vrill, tell them what you saw.”

  A shadow fell over Vrill’s face. I hated that she needed to go back to that dark place, but the Three needed to know what she’d told us. “The larger, stronger monsters are only the beginning. The Morgoss are calling forth monsters the likes of which this world has never seen. They are the worst of the worst creatures of the underworld. That is why the attacks have been mild for so many Blacks now. They’ve been storing their dark energy, binding it into enough magic to summon their generals. After Sam recovered Airiel’s heart, the remaining two Morgoss were enraged. With my connection to them, I could sense the truth behind that anger: That truth was fear. They were scared they would run out of time to carry out their nefarious plans. That’s why they used me to bring the Narzani here. It was meant to be a distraction and to weaken our defenses. To give them the time they needed to complete their final summoning of the largest, deadliest monsters this world has ever seen.”

  When she finished speaking, Minertha said, “How long?”

  “It’s impossible to know. But they need some time still. Fifty Blacks? A hundred?”

  Airiel said, “Tell us what you need.”

  “We need numbers. We need Warriors, those who want to be here. Those who are committed to repelling the Morgoss’s army. I want to be Finder,” Vrill said, which surprised the hell out of me. Though I’d said the same and explained to Vrill how we didn’t have to do things the old way, I didn’t expect her to volunteer so soon.

  “That’s impossible,” Persepheus said.

  Vrill’s eyes narrowed, a cat eyeing her prey. “Why not? You’re a goddess. You make the impossible possible.”

  Persepheus paused. “You misunderstand me. We’ve never had more than one Finder at a time.”

  Vrill’s head snapped toward mine, our eyes meeting. The goddess’s words didn’t make sense, as if they were spoken in a foreign language. “You’ve already Leveled someone up? Who?” I asked. My mind raced through the possibilities. Lace was an obvious choice given her seniority, but I wouldn’t put it past the Three to choose someone else, someone they felt they could control. Someone utterly loyal to them. The only problem was that most of us were fresh off the boat, so to speak.

  Of course, I’d completely missed what she’d meant. The revelation had flown right over my head.

  “No one,” Persepheus said. “We’ve been waiting to tell you until we were certain she would make a full recovery.”

  My heart was pounding in my head. Because her words could only mean one thing. One person.

  It was impossible.

  Vrill’s words: You make the impossible possible. And yet this was beyond the impossible. Beyond my comprehension. I’d watched Eve die. I’d seen the moment Airiel gave up hope that she could save her even with her full goddess abilities at her disposal.

  Eve stepped through the arched space that led to the artifact room.

  She was too pale, her breaths coming slowly, as if they required great effort on her behalf. But she was standing under her own strength. Alive.

  Vrill stiffened. Facing the Three had taken so much out of her, ripping off pieces of her soul. And now this. She spat, turned around and left without another word.

  I knew I should go after her, because staying felt like making a choice. But I wasn’t making a choice. I just needed to touch Eve, to know that she wasn’t some ghostly apparition, or a figment of our imagination conjured by the powers of the Three goddesses before us.

  “I’ll talk to her,” Beat said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “But don’t be long, Ryder.”

  I nodded, thankful she knew what to do. I stepped forward, my legs numb. It was like I was floating. I’d held onto Eve in the netherspace between planets. She’d waited for me on Primo. Waited when she didn’t have to. I’d carried her limp body to the Three. I’d fought for her the same way she’d fought for me.

  A part of me had died when she did, and now that part was revived.

  I walked past the Three, ignoring their stares.

  I stepped up to Eve, who was watching me with her dark kohl-lined eyes. Even at her weakest, there was strength in those eyes. I didn’t move to touch her. Not yet. I said, “How?”

  She said, “Ask Airiel. She never gave up on me. I remember snatches of things. Pain. Anger. Acquiescence. I gave up. I was fading. Then I heard her voice. Always her voice.

  Of course it was Airiel. She was the kindest of the Three. She gave of herself even when she was broken and dying. She’d saved me before, and I was thankful I’d been able to return the favor.

  It explained so much. Why it was taking her so long to gain her full goddess strength even after her heart had been restored to her chest. She’d poured every ounce of strength into saving Eve, filling her with healing power.

  I finally took the last step, enveloping Eve in my arms. She buried her head in my chest. I held her for a long time. Eventually she looked up at me. “I’m sorry if this…complicates things,” she said.

  I shook my head, amazed at how selfless she’d become. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll speak to Vrill. I’d rather have both of you on our side than one or the other. Even if it’s complicated.”

  “Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?”

  I didn’t. Vrill might be able to get past everything that had happened enough to help us defeat the Morgoss, but she would never be able to forgive those who’d harmed her so deeply. She shouldn’t have to. “That doesn’t matter,” I said.

  “To me it does.”

  I understood. I’d struggled with forgiving my parents for having not loved me enough. In the end, it had driven a wedge between us. The difference there had been that they didn’t even think they needed to be forgiven. At least Eve knew she’d hurt Vrill. “You can’t control what she does. First, you need to forgive yourself. Try to make up for your mistakes. Do better. The rest is up to Vrill.”

  She nodded. “Not having control is hard for me.”

  I laughed. “No kidding. Consider it part of your punishment for past sins.”

  Her expression turned grave. “I deserve the worst.”

  I shook my head at that. “No, you don’t. None of us do. We can only keep struggling, keep fighting. But we need more help. We keep losing Warriors. We need another Finder.” I turned toward the Three. “Why can there only be one Finder?” I asked. Eve had explained some of this back on Primo, but I wanted to hear it from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.

  Minertha, who had been very quiet, said, “One of the main issues is that we can’t Level someone up unless they’ve been touched by an Ancient Power.”

  I frowned. “Meaning?”

  “The power of a god or goddess—or demon overlord, like the Morgoss.”

  “So Vrill is eligible because she survived being the demons’ slave?”

  Minertha nodded. “There are other ways, of course. You could be bitten by one of the Syrene, for example.”

  I started. In all the action, I’d forgotten about those white veins running beneath my skin. The twin fangs set on either side of my mouth. “Wait, are you saying I could be Leveled up to Finder?”

  Min nodded. “Technically. But we don’t believe you’re the right choice. We have other plans for you.”

  Cryptic much? Still, the insinuation was clear: I had foreign power running through me, which allowed me to be Leveled up to even greater heights. The very idea was humbling. “Anything else I need to know? If Vrill is a candidate for Finder, then why are you hesitating?”

  “Leveling up a Finder requires a large amount of energy, which is hard for us right now,” Min continued. Eve had already told me as much back on Primo. “But I think we can manage it.” />
  I didn’t understand. “Then what’s the issue?”

  “Every time a Finder uses their power to travel between worlds or through time and space, they take a measure of our strength,” Min said.

  This was news to me, but it made sense. Eve always rested for a long time between Finding missions. Longer than seemed necessary. I thought it was just to restore her own strength. In truth, it had been for her and the Three. I looked at Eve and she offered a shrug of apology. She’d told me much while we were Finding on Primo, but not everything. She’d held back information. It was frustrating, but I couldn’t blame her. She’d lived this life of secrecy for so long, and the Three had seemed to encourage it. Breaking those chains would take time. But where there was a problem, there was always a solution. “Airiel is stronger now. Now that Eve is recovering, can’t Airiel handle the load of two Finders?”

  Airiel said, “I will take on this burden.”

  This was normally the point where Persepheus would say no and threaten us with bodily harm. Instead she just shook her head in resignation and said, “It is your choice to make, sister. I think it is folly, but you know your own strength better than I.”

  Who is this goddess and what did she do with Persepheus?

  I said, “Airiel, if you believe supporting two Finders will harm you, we will forget about it, no questions asked.”

  Airiel seemed to contemplate the idea, her wings hidden away, tucked behind her shoulders. Her white dress flowed like liquid silk around her hips and legs as she shifted from side to side. She had a vitality about her that was missing from her two sisters—that had been missing from her before we’d recovered her stolen heart. Finally, she said, “I can bear this burden. If I cannot, we can easily suspend all traveling for one of the Finders.”

  It was a good point and a decent compromise. “Eve?” I said. I hadn’t consulted with her yet, mostly because I didn’t know she was alive. She’s alive, I reminded myself, those two words sounding like fake news even in my own head.

  “I will do anything in my power to improve our situation. And to show Vrill that I’m not the evil bitch I was before.”