He made a small sound of disbelief in his throat. “I never said anything to give you that impression. Besides, there isn’t a man breathing that wouldn’t enjoy seeing you.”
She smiled at him. “You still are a flirt, Roy Pardee,” she said softly, as her eyes drifted over the tired lines of his face. “That hasn’t changed about you.”
The corners of his mouth tilted into a semblance of a grin. “I’m not flirting, just stating a fact.”
She wanted to lean her face into his and kiss him so badly that she ached from the effort of stopping herself.
Glancing away from him, she said, “Charlie is still talking about you. He thinks you’re the greatest thing to happen since Roy Rogers and Trigger.”
Roy chuckled. “Isn’t Roy Rogers and Trigger a little outdated for Charlie? I thought kids nowadays were infatuated with those space-age cartoons and character figures that are on TV.”
Justine shook her head. “Not Charlie. He likes fastropin’, hard-ridin’ shoot-’em-up cowboys, like the Durango Kid.”
Roy smiled wryly as he lifted his coffee cup to his lips. “My kind of boy.”
Justine’s heart pained at his innocent remark. Charlie was his boy. The question now wasn’t if she was going to tell him. It was when and how. She didn’t want Roy to know Charlie was his son until she could be sure how he really felt about her. She wanted him to love and want her solely for herself, and not because she was the mother of his son. And if he said he could never love her? Well, she’d just have to take things from there, she supposed.
“So did you want to talk to me about Charlie? Is that what this is all about?” he asked.
She glanced sharply at him. “No.”
“The twins?”
Justine shook her head. She didn’t want to get into this now, with a roomful of people sitting only a few steps away.
“The twins are fine. Chloe and Rose are smitten with the babies.”
“And you are, too.”
She made a yielding gesture with her hand, then smiled guiltily. “Well, yes, I guess I’m pretty much taken with them, too.”
His expression grew serious. His eyes soft. “You were meant to be a mother, Justine. I can see that now. I couldn’t see it six years ago.”
“You were young.”
“I wanted you. Only you.”
The directness of his words, the dark, brooding shadows suddenly filling his eyes, left Justine’s whole insides trembling. She was almost glad the waitress chose that moment to arrive with their food.
They ate a platter of enchiladas and Spanish rice, then finished the meal with a basket of sopaipillas and more coffee.
By the time the two of them left the small café, the sky had grown dark and a chill had replaced the heat of the day.
Justine hugged her arms against her as they walked silently across the parking lot. Once they reached the truck she’d driven, Roy caught her lightly by the waist.
“Okay, I got the idea you didn’t want to tell me what was on your mind in there while we were eating,” he said. “So tell me now.”
Her eyes wide, she glanced around them. “Here?”
He looked as if he were annoyed and tired and fast losing his patience. “What more do you want, Justine? We don’t have an audience. It’s just you and me. If it’s confidential—”
“I love you.”
Roy’s head reared back as if she’d slapped him in the mouth. “You what?”
She breathed a ragged breath in and out, and was vaguely aware of his grip tightening on both sides of her waist.
“You heard me. I said I love you.”
His expression incredulous, he stared at her. “Justine… Oh, hell!”
Grabbing her by the arm, he led her away from the truck and into the dark woods behind the café. Once they were out of sight, he pushed her up against the trunk of a huge pine and pinned her there with his hands on both her shoulders.
“What do you mean, blurting out something like that to me?” She’d stunned him, knocked the very wind from his chest.
Her heart was pounding so hard and fast she thought it was going to burst. “What more did you want?” she asked, tossing his own words back at him. “Wine, roses and romance? We had our time for that six years ago, Roy. If you think I was too blunt, I’m sorry. If you didn’t want to hear how I feel about you, I’m sorry about that, too. But I had to tell you.”
His eyes narrowed as they bored into hers. He desperately wanted to believe her, but he didn’t want to be her fool a second time. “What kind of game are you playing with me, Justine?”
He wasn’t happy. But then, she should have known he wouldn’t be. He’d already implied that he wasn’t in the market for love or marriage. But when he kissed her, she’d felt a need in him, a need that matched the one in her heart. And she’d hoped that maybe, deep down, he did care for her.
“I don’t play games, Roy.”
“That’s what it looks like to me. You’ve played Miss Ice Maiden ever since that night you discovered the twins and called me out to the ranch.”
“That’s not true,” she shot back.
“And now you say you love me,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “We’re not teenagers anymore, Justine. You can’t just spout off words and expect me to believe them. Especially when you think it might be convenient for you.”
“Convenient!” She gasped with outrage and shoved hard against his shoulders. He didn’t budge. “How dare you say that to me! I’m not asking anything from you. I don’t—I didn’t really expect anything from you. Six years ago, you didn’t care about me, and it’s obvious you still don’t. Now let me go!”
When he didn’t release his grip on her shoulders, she stomped on the toe of his boot. The surprise attack caused his hold to loosen. Justine twisted away and began to run.
“Damn it all! Justine come back here!”
Ignoring his call, she darted through the pines and back toward the incline leading up to the parking lot. However, just before she left the shelter of the trees, Roy caught up to her and snaked an arm around her waist.
With a quick little jerk, he spun her around and into his arms.
“What are you trying to do to me?” He growled the question only inches away from her lips.
Her breast heaving, her whole body shaking, Justine stared up and into his eyes. “I’m not trying to do anything to you! I don’t want to do anything to you!”
“You’re lying!” She wanted him as much as he wanted her. Why couldn’t she admit it?
Justine raised her hands to break free of him, but she never had the chance to follow through. Her lips were suddenly captured beneath his. Squirming, she tried to pull away from him, but his hand was at the back of her head, making it impossible for her to escape his kiss.
Just when she’d decided he meant only to punish her, the pressure of his mouth eased and his fingers tangled loosely in her hair, while the arm around her waist slid upward against her back.
As he drew her closer, Justine groaned and parted her lips. He tasted them hungrily, thrust his tongue between her teeth and. explored the ribbed roof of her mouth.
In spite of his jaded reaction to her declaration of love, Justine couldn’t stop the desire she felt for him. She couldn’t stop her body from arching into his and silently begging him to make love to her.
“This is what you want,” he mouthed roughly against her lips. “It’s what I want.”
“Roy, this isn’t—”
His hand cupped around her face. His forefinger pressed against the corner of her lips. “Don’t talk. You’ve already said too much.”
She wanted to hit him, yell at him that he didn’t have any idea what she really wanted from him. But, for the moment, the need to make love to him, to have him make love to her, was outweighing everything.
His lips pressed a kiss beneath her ear, then traveled down the side of her neck. “You—don’t know anything, Roy,” she said between groans.
“Oh, yes. I do know. You’ve been asking for this much, at least, and I’m going to give it to you,” he murmured as hot desire surged through his body.
His head dipped lower, and she gasped as his teeth sank into the fabric of her blouse, then found the peak of her breast. Heat poured through her like a wild rainstorm, and she realized that a part of what Roy had said was true. She did want this. She wanted his lips on hers, his hands on her breast, his hips grinding rhythmically against hers. It was decadent and crazy. But in her heart, he’d always been her lover, and he always would be.
It was Roy who finally stepped back from her. By then, Justine’s senses were reeling, and she unconsciously gripped his arm for support.
“No matter what you’re thinking, Roy,” she whispered, “I didn’t come here tonight for this.”
Glancing away from her, he lifted his Stetson from his head and ran his hand through his hair. Justine thought she saw a trembling in his fingers. But that could hardly be. The sheriff of Lincoln County didn’t fear anything. He didn’t feel anything. Not that much.
“What did you come for?” he asked in an accusing voice. “To see if you could make my resistance crumble? To see if you could still turn me inside out?”
With a self-mocking groan, Justine turned her back on him. “There’s no point in me trying to answer your question. Last night I was so frightened for you, so terrified that you might be hurt or killed. But a person without a heart can’t understand something like that. You can’t understand what it’s like to love someone.”
“Love—” He snorted as he remembered the pain he’d went through when she’d walked out on him. “Don’t ever talk to me about love. I don’t believe in it.”
“Don’t worry, Roy, you won’t ever hear the word from me again,” she said in choked voice. Then, before he could stop her, she ran to the parking lot and climbed into her truck.
Her hands were shaking so badly, she fumbled the key several times before she finally twisted it enough to start the motor. By then, Roy was stepping out of the woods and onto the parking lot.
Justine didn’t wait around to see if he was headed her way. She jerked the truck into reverse and backed onto the main highway. Once she was headed east, she stepped down hard on the accelerator, squealing tires as she went. If he wanted to get her for reckless driving, then he damn well could. But she’d had all the rejection she could stand for one night.
“Fred, are you sure this is the woman you saw with the twins? Is it a good likeness of her?” Roy asked the burly man sitting across the booth from him.
Fred carefully studied the composite drawing. “Looks like her to me.”
Roy nodded. “Good. I’m going to spread this around and see what happens.”
“You know, that’s a strange thing, them babies showing up at the Murdock ranch like that. What do you think it’s all about, Roy?”
Roy’s face hardened. “I think it’s about a mother who doesn’t want her children.”
Fred shook his head in disgust. “If that’s the case, it seems to me those two babies would be a lot better off with that pretty nurse you had in here with you the other day. She’d love that little girl and guy with all her heart. You can tell she’s just that kinda woman.”
Yeah, Roy thought, she was that kinda woman where babies and children were concerned. But what about men? What about him? All she did was confuse him, enrage him…tempt him.
“Yes. She and her sisters are taking good care of them for the time being.”
“Well, I hope you find the mother. And when you do, give her a boot in the you-know-what.”
Roy picked up the stack of papers with the mystery woman’s face printed on the front and rose to his feet. “I’ll have to leave her punishment up to the judge, Fred. But I know what you’re saying. Thanks for your help.”
“No problem. And when you see that pretty nurse again, tell her I said hello.”
If the woman who’d dumped the twins was anything like Justine, Roy would have already caught her, he thought. Dozens of men here in Ruidoso would remember turning to look at her. She had that kind of beauty and feminine aura. He knew because he was bewitched by it, despite himself.
“Sure. I’ll tell her,” Roy promised, then left the icecream parlor.
Outside, he climbed into his Bronco, then sat with his hands on the steering wheel and stared unseeingly out the windshield.
It had been a week since he met Justine here in Ruidoso for supper. A week since she blurted out that she loved him. He hadn’t seen or talked to her since. And he was miserable.
He missed her terribly. He wanted to hear her voice, see her face, hold her against him. He wanted to tell her he loved her.
Oh, yes, he thought with wry self-mockery, he loved Justine. Even though he’d vowed that he didn’t believe in the word, and even though she’d trampled his heart six years ago, he loved her. And he supposed he always had. Why else was she still so much a part of him? Why else did it feel as natural as coming home whenever he touched her?
But not even knowing how he felt about Justine convinced him that the two of them should be together. It didn’t convince him of anything except that he was headed for a heartache. Justine didn’t believe he had a heart. But he did. It had ached all week. And he wasn’t at all sure what to do to make it stop.
He wanted to trust Justine, to believe she would never walk out on him again. But he’d learned the hard way that trusting a woman was risky business.
Muttering a curse under his breath, Roy started the Bronco and pulled out onto the busy street. If he hurried, he could catch Justine before she left the clinic to go home.
Justine needed to go to the grocery store. In fact, it was a must. The twins were getting low on formula and diapers. Kitty needed several things for the kitchen. Since Justine was the one who worked in town, she usually got the shopping chores.
Normally Justine didn’t mind going to the grocery store or running other errands. But today had been one of Dr. Bellamy’s busy days. She was exhausted, and she wasn’t in the mood to do anything but go home and go to bed.
Admit it, she told herself as she stepped into a pair of black jeans. It isn’t your job that’s getting you down. It was Roy. More than a dozen times this week, she’d come close to calling him. But each time, she’d stopped herself.
Roy didn’t want anything to do with her, and she wasn’t going to push herself at him. The spark between them— and that was all it had been, she thought dismally—was all over. As for Charlie, she could hardly see how Roy could love the boy, when he couldn’t even bring himself to love his son’s mother. And she was relieved she hadn’t gone so far as to tell him he was the father of her child. Roy wouldn’t have wanted to hear that any more than he wanted to hear that she loved him.
After pulling on a white cotton sweater, she slipped her feet into a pair of leather loafers and left the little makeshift dressing room without bothering to glance in the mirror.
As she passed the front desk, she bade Carlita goodbye, then stepped outside under the awning sheltering the entrance of the building. The leftover remnants of an afternoon rainstorm still lingered over the mountains. Water dripped from the awning and nearby spruce trees as a cool drizzle continued to fall.
Justine dashed to her truck, and was about to open the door when a hand came from behind and clamped around her wrist.
Gasping, she whirled around, and very nearly collided into Roy’s chest.
“Come with me.”
He never knew how to ask, only order, Justine thought. Glaring at him, she tried to jerk her hand free of his. “I don’t want to come with you!”
His face like granite, he tugged her over to his Bronco and opened the door. “Get in!”
“Are you arresting me?” she asked dryly.
“If necessary.” He nudged her toward the vehicle.
Justine reluctantly climbed in and settled herself in the passenger seat. While she waited for him to skirt around the hood
and take his seat behind the wheel, she glanced curiously around the cab.
The vehicle was fitted with all sorts of radio and communication devices. High-powered rifles were attached to a mesh partition directly behind their seats. A pair of handcuffs dangled next to them. The sight of the weapons brought the hard reality of Roy’s job home to her and made her shiver against the leather seat. She didn’t think she could bear it if something happened to Roy in the line of duty.
Roy slid behind the wheel and slammed the door behind him.
When he looked at her and said nothing, Justine’s heart began its old familiar thud of love. She tried her best to ignore it.
“Since you’re not into social calls, I suppose there’s some reason for this visit,” she said.
He handed her a copy of the composite drawing. “Fred, you remember the witness at the ice-cream parlor? He’s met with the artist from the Albuquerque Police Department. This is what the two of them came up with.”
Forgetting her misery for the moment, Justine carefully studied the woman’s face. “I wish I could say she looked familiar. But she doesn’t. Not at all.”
“Fred says it’s a close likeness. I don’t know, everyone sees things differently.”
How well she knew that, Justine thought. She saw love as something precious and wonderful. Roy saw it as an illusion, a reason to slip a noose around his neck.
“At least it’s a start,” Justine said.
She offered the paper back to him. He shook his head. “Keep it and show it to your family. Maybe, by some slim chance, one of them might remember seeing her.”
“All right.” She folded the paper and stuffed it into her clutch bag.
“I’ve had a deputy searching through local birth records to see who might have had twins in the last five or six months, and where. So far, we’ve found one set and they’re living with their parents in Alto.”
“Do you think the twins were born locally? Or at least in the county?”
He shrugged. “We’re looking in the county first. If we don’t come up with something there, we’ll branch out farther.”
As they talked, Roy’s eyes softened. She could feel them skimming over her face, exploring her lips.
The Sheriff's Son Page 12
