Kitty was right. She still loved Roy. So what was she going to do now?
More than an hour later, the three of them had finished a meal of steak, beans and tossed salad. Beneath the shade of a cottonwood, Justine and Roy sat in lawn chairs, drinking coffee. Charlie sat on the ground near their feet as he painstakingly pulled sandburs from Levi’s fur.
“Charlie, I think you and I should help Roy clean the table, then go home,” Justine told him. “It’s going to be time for you to help Aunt Chloe with the chores.”
Twisting around, he frowned at his mother. “Aw, Aunt Chloe is all fired up over the twins. She won’t even notice I’m not there.”
With arched brows, Justine studied her son. As yet, he hadn’t shown any jealousy over the twins. He seemed to adore them. Wanting to stay here with Roy was more likely the reason her son was whining.
“You know that isn’t true, Charlie. Aunt Chloe will be expecting you to feed and water Thundercloud and help her with the other horses.”
The boy reluctantly got to his feet. “I guess you’re right,” he mumbled.
He obviously wasn’t ready to leave Roy’s company, and Justine began to wonder if she’d only set her son up for future disappointment. Roy might not feel inclined to invite her and Charlie to his ranch again. And even if he did, she wasn’t sure she should come back. With or without her son. Being with Roy was only going to feed her love for him.
Before she could go any further, Roy answered one of her questions.
“Maybe your mother will bring you back sometime soon, Charlie,” he suggested to the boy.
Charlie turned eagerly to his mother. “Will you, Mommy? Can we come back and see Roy tomorrow?”
“No. Not tomorrow. Maybe in a few days.”
Justine rose to her feet. As she did, a beeping noise sounded somewhere close. She watched Roy pull a pager from under the tail of his shirt and read the number. Apparently he’d been carrying the communication device with him all day but no one had tried to contact him until now.
“Looks like I have to go use the phone,” he told Justine. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
He hurried on into the house. Justine went up on the deck and began to clear away the dishes on the table where they’d eaten their meal.
She was carrying an armload into the kitchen when Roy appeared from another part of the house. He was buckling his pistol around his hips, and the urgency of his movements sent a surge of fear through her.
“Is something wrong?”
He nodded. “A wanted fugitive was spotted traveling on the highway between Tularosa and Mescalero. A deputy tried to pull him over, and a high-speed chase carried them over into Lincoln County where both vehicles wrecked. Now the deputy is injured and the fugitive is running on foot in the desert.”
“How awful!” Justine responded. “Is he armed?”
“From the brief report I got, he has some sort of handgun,” Roy answered as he hurried over to a metal cabinet jammed in a corner next to the refrigerator. Quickly he unlocked it, pulled out a pump shotgun and a box of shells. “I’ve got to get the hounds and get over there and find him.”
Justine crossed the room to him. “You have to find him? Why do you have to find him? I thought a sheriff just gave orders and the deputies did the legwork.”
He shot her an annoyed look of disbelief. “One deputy has already been hurt. I don’t intend to let another be injured.”
Justine’s eyes widened with fear. “But you might be shot at. You could even be killed by this lunatic!”
With a wry twist to his face, he started out the door. “That’s what being the sheriff sometimes means, Justine. See ya later.”
By ten o’clock that night, Justine was pacing from one end of the house to the other.
The desert was always a dangerous place to be, especially at night. But Roy was out there tracking down a criminal with a gun. What was happening? she wondered. Was he still out there? Was the hunt over? Had Roy been shot at or hurt?
“Justine, you’re walking a hole in the tiles,” Kitty said to her niece as she entered the living room. “Why don’t you sit down with your sisters?”
Sighing, Justine went over to the couch and sat down beside Rose, who was reading a magazine.
The older Murdock sister glanced up as the cushion next to her sagged with Justine’s weight. “You’ve been restless ever since you came home this evening. What’s the matter?” Rose asked.
Chloe spoke up from across the room. “It’s the sheriff. I think our sister has fallen for the steely-eyed lawman.”
“Hush, Chloe, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kitty said sharply.
Both Rose and Chloe looked at their aunt with curious surprise. “What’s the matter? I was only teasing my sister a little,” Chloe said defensively. “Besides, she did spend most of the day with the man.”
Justine pressed her fingers against her closed eyelids. “If you all must know, I’m worried.”
“It’s-the twins,” Chloe suddenly said in a panicked rush. “The sheriff has found something out about the babies, and you don’t want to tell us!”
“No. It isn’t that at all,” Justine assured her. Dropping her hands from her face, she glanced at the three women. “Before Charlie and I left Roy’s this evening, he was called to work.”
Chloe laughed with relief. “And that’s what’s worrying you? The man is sheriff of Lincoln County, Justine. He has to be available twenty-four hours a day.”
Justine glared at her younger sibling. “He’s out in the desert, tracking down an armed fugitive.”
“Oh, my,” Rose said quietly. “What happened?”
Justine recounted the brief details Roy had given her. “It’s the not knowing that’s worrying me,” she finished.
Kitty reached for the remote control to the TV set. “Let’s turn on the ten-o’clock news. Maybe they’ll have something on the story.”
The older woman clicked through the channels until she reached the nearest station to Hondo. The anchorman was giving a brief recount of the world news, and then he turned to local happenings.
“Look, here’s the story now,” Chloe yelped as a videotape began to show a night scene of patrol cars and lawmen parked along a barren stretch of highway near Oscuro.
Justine scooted to the edge of her seat, her heart pounding, as a young female reporter relayed the bits of information she had gathered so far at the scene.
“Well, we don’t really know much more than we did,” Kitty said, once the reporter had signed off. “Roy is still out there, and has been for several hours.”
“She said shots had been fired,” Rose added with concern.
“That could mean anything,” Chloe said. She crossed the room to Justine and curled her arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry, sis, Roy Pardee seems like a pretty tough guy to me. And I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.”
Justine forced herself to nod, but she couldn’t rid herself of the icy fear settling in the pit of her stomach. There had been such a hard, determined look in his eyes when he walked out the door.
“Roy isn’t a man to back down,” she said lowly. “Even if his life is in danger.”
“That’s what being a sheriff means, Justine,” Rose told her matter-of-factly.
Justine looked over at her older sister. “That’s what he told me, too. But I guess I never realized exactly what Roy was until this evening. He’s the law.” Her eyes focused on the dark picture window on the opposite side of the room. Beyond the glass was a view of the Hondo Valley, her home. Roy had sworn to protect not only this place, but all of Lincoln County, a county that had gone down in American history for its bloody range wars. Countless numbers of men had died in shoot-outs on this land. Now Roy was out there, searching for an angry man with a gun. The whole idea left her chilled with fear.
“Justine, do you hear me?”
Finally realizing Chloe was saying something to her, Justine turned her head toward her sis
ter. “What?”
“I was asking just what you were doing over at the sheriff’s place all day.”
Justine wasn’t really in the mood for an interrogation from her family tonight, but she knew it would look strange if she refused to answer.
She turned her gaze back on the window. “We took Charlie for a horseback ride, then cooked steaks on the grill.”
Justine was aware of Chloe and Rose exchanging curious glances.
“Does this mean the man has quit rubbing you the wrong way?” Rose questioned.
“It means I’ve learned that Roy isn’t quite the man I believed him to be six years ago,” she said, then quickly rose to her feet. “If you all don’t mind, I’m going to bed now.”
With her aunt and two sisters staring worriedly after her, Justine left the room and walked down the hallway to Charlie’s bedroom.
A night-light was burning near the head of his bed. Justine reached down and tenderly brushed the thick shock of bangs away from his forehead.
He’d been so worn out from his play at Roy’s that he nearly fell asleep in the bathtub. And when she tucked him in bed, he’d still been talking about Roy and asking how many days it would be before they could go back to see him.
What if Charlie never got to see his father again? she asked herself. What if Roy was killed, and never knew he had a son?
Maybe her mind was exaggerating the danger Roy was facing. He’d probably even laugh if he knew how worried she was about him. Even so, the questions weighed on her mind like a dark, oppressive storm cloud, and she knew she couldn’t go on with all these feelings bottled up and hidden away inside her.
Right or wrong, she had to tell Roy how much she loved him.
Chapter Seven
Justine normally enjoyed her job at the clinic. Dr. Bellamy was kind and considerate with his patients and employees. On many days, the clinic was full and the workday was long and hectic, without a moment to draw an extra breath. Unfortunately, today was a slow one, and Justine had long spells of time on her hands to worry and wonder, to ask herself a thousand times over if she was crazy to let Roy know how she felt about him.
She’d heard, from a talkative patient and Carlita, the receptionist, that Roy had apprehended the fugitive early this morning, before daylight. The prisoner was now in the county jail in Carrizozo. The deputy who had been injured in the high-speed chase was recovering nicely in the hospital.
Everything had turned out all right. Roy was safe. Justine should be relieved, but she wasn’t. Last night had proved to her just how much she loved Roy. The thought of not ever seeing him again, not hearing his voice or touching his face, was too horrific to contemplate. She wanted to be a part of his life. It was that simple and that terrifying.
Just before Justine’s workday ended, she called Kitty and told her she wouldn’t be coming home straightaway, then dialed the sheriff’s office in Carrizozo.
A sleepy-voiced deputy answered the phone. “Yes, Sheriff Pardee is in his office,” he told Justine, “but he’s busy. Maybe I can help you with your problem?”
“No. I’m afraid not—I need to speak to Roy about something personal.”
The deputy cleared his throat. When he spoke again, Justine could hear a wide smile in his voice. Obviously he thought it amusing that a woman was calling his boss. “Oh, I see,” he said. “So who should I tell him is calling?”
“Justine.”
“Okay, Justine. I’ll see what I can do.”
The line was silent only a few seconds before Roy picked up the phone.
“Justine? Is something wrong?”
The sound of his voice was so precious that tears of relief suddenly filled her eyes and knotted her throat. “No. There’s nothing wrong,” she answered quickly.
“You don’t sound like yourself.”
She was more herself, Justine realized, than she had been in years. Six years, to be exact.
“I’m…fine. I was calling because…I was worried about you.”
There was a long pause, and she knew her admission had probably knocked a bit of wind from him. Finally she heard him speaking to someone who must have been in the room with him.
“Don’t you have something to do, Randall? Get out of here. Go wash your patrol car!” To Justine he said, in a softer tone, “There’s no need for you to be worried. I’m fine. The job is done. The prisoner is in jail.”
She let out a long breath. “I’m glad. I’ve had all sorts of horrible thoughts running through my head since you left the ranch yesterday.”
To know that Justine had been thinking of him, worrying about him, did strange things to Roy. His job had put him in many dangerous situations before, but those who knew him never worried about him. They thought he was tough and invincible. They considered him a survivor, a sheriff who always won out in the end like Matt Dillon or Wyatt Earp. But Justine was thinking of him simply as a man, and the idea filled him with an emotion he’d never felt before.
“Did you and Charlie make it back home okay?” he asked.
“Yes. I washed the dishes and locked your house before we left.”
“You could have left the dishes for me.”
“I wanted to do them for you.”
There was something new in her voice, Roy decided, something soft and intimate that pulled and pushed at him. At this moment, he wished he could hold her. But he also wished he didn’t want to.
“Are you going to be tied up this evening?” she asked before her courage lagged.
“No. Since I worked all night, I’m heading home early. Why?”
Fatigue was in his voice, and Justine knew that now was probably not the time to be talking to him about anything. But the urge to see him if for no other reason than to assure herself that he was all right, was strong.
“I’d like to talk to you.”
“You’re talking to me now.”
She swallowed. “It’s not…something I can say over the phone.”
“Justine—”
Suddenly she remembered all the times these past few days when he’d called and ordered her about. “Damn it, Roy, don’t put me off. Just tell me where to meet you and be there!”
Roy had never had the urge to curse and laugh at the same time, but he did now. “Using my tactics now, are you?”
“You forced me into it.”
He let out a rough sigh. “Okay. I’ve got to eat. I’ll meet you in Ruidoso.” He named a local café and a time for her to be there.
“You don’t have to drive that far out of your way,” she countered.
“I thought you wanted to see me,” he said impatiently.
“I do!”
“Then why are you arguing with me?”
“I’m not arguing, I’m trying to make it easier for you,” she reasoned.
Seeing Justine was always easy on the eyes, but it was never easy on his heart. After yesterday, he was beginning to wonder if inviting her and Charlie to the ranch had been a big mistake. He’d liked having them there too much. He’d liked having Justine in his kitchen, and in his arms, kissing him like she never wanted to stop. But stop she would. She had before.
“What do you want, Justine?”
The weariness in his voice stung her. Yet she wanted to cry, “You, Roy. I want you.” Instead, she said, “I’ll tell you about it when I see you.”
Because it was so far from her workplace to the Bar M, Justine kept a couple of changes of clothes at the clinic in case she needed to do something in town and didn’t want to look like a nurse while she was doing it.
Before she left the office, she changed into a swingy printed rayon skirt and a cool green tank top, then tied her hair back from her face with a matching green scarf.
When she reached the café, she had several minutes to spare before Roy arrived. She found a table by a window overlooking the woods that crowded up to the back of the building. When a waitress arrived, she ordered iced tea and informed the woman that someone would be meeting her shortly.<
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While she sipped the drink and watched chipmunks chase around the pine trunks, the bell over the door jangled several times. Each time it sounded, Justine glanced around, expecting to see Roy, and each time was ridiculously disappointed when it wasn’t
She had very nearly finished her tea and was about to glance at her watch again when footsteps sounded behind her.
“Hello, Justine.”
She looked over her shoulder at him, and her heart caught in her throat. His face was unshaven, his blue eyes were bloodshot and his clothes were stained with dirt and dried sweat. He looked rough and rugged and so very weary. But he’d never looked better to her than he did at this moment. It was all she could to keep from rising to her feet and flinging her arms around his neck.
“Thank you for coming, Roy.”
He pulled out a chair and sat down a few inches away from her. His nearness very nearly took her breath away, and she wondered how she had existed these past six years without him. Moreover, she wondered how she would be able to exist the next six if he rejected her.
“Well, you were persistent, and I am hungry. Are you?”
Surprisingly, she was hungry, now that he was here with her. “Yes, I could eat something.”
As if on cue, a waitress arrived at their table. “Do you need to see menus?” the woman asked.
Roy glanced questioningly at Justine. “I’ll have whatever you’re having,” she told him.
Without bothering to read the menu, he ordered for both of them. The waitress left, then immediately returned with a cup of coffee for Roy and a refill of Justine’s iced tea.
Once she moved away from their table, a long stretch of awkward silence ensued. After a while, Justine could feel Roy’s eyes moving over her face and hair and down to the thrust of her breasts. The caress of his gaze left her more than warm, and she wondered if he was looking to purposely disturb her, or if he was looking because he actually wanted to.
“You didn’t want to see me this evening,” she said flatly, her eyes on the amber liquid swirling around her glass.
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