Her Last Secret Sweetheart: Christian Cowboy Romance (Last Chance Ranch Romance Book 5)

by Liz Isaacson

  She said, “I cheated on my husband and got pregnant,” anyway. She didn’t want to look at Cache, but her eyes seemed to do whatever they wanted despite her protests.

  He blinked, shocked and disgusted with her.

  She reached for the door handle, ready to bolt right now.

  Chapter 11

  Cache was still absorbing what Karla had said when she flew from the truck. “Hey,” he said after her, slow on the uptake. When she’d said she hadn’t been to jail, Cache had relaxed. How bad could it be if she hadn’t killed someone?

  But cheating was pretty bad.

  He launched himself out of the truck to follow her. Dang, the woman could move fast in heels, and she’d already crossed the parking lot to the walking path that ran behind the church and circled the bluff where the ranch sat.

  He didn’t want to yell after her. Or run, both of which would’ve called attention to them. And Karla had been quite clear she didn’t want any attention on her, or their relationship.

  He finally caught her several paces behind the church, thinking he should get double the steps for panicked speed-walking at Step It Up. Not that he’d bought a smart watch or any device to track his steps since their date on Monday night.

  Karla wasn’t wearing hers today either.

  He just walked beside her, at a complete loss as to what to say. He tried praying, but his thoughts felt all blocked up. When the fury finally faded from her steps, he asked, “So you have a child?”

  “No,” she bit out.

  Cache waited for more, but she didn’t seem to be in a talkative mood anymore. “Karla,” he said, a hint of frustration in her name. “Can you just stop for a second?” He touched her arm, and she flinched away from him but stopped walking.

  He moved in front of her so he could see her face. “Yes, I think God forgives infidelity. I do.” He drew in a big breath, feeling stronger with the words—the knowledge he possessed about God. “He can forgive you for this.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know, Cache.”

  “Then you just have to find out for yourself,” he said gently. Despite what he’d just learned, he wanted to be with her still. Her soul called to his in such a strong way, and he couldn’t ignore that any longer.

  He reached toward her slowly, giving her every opportunity to fall back, put more distance between them. She didn’t, and he finally took both of her hands in his. “Look,” he said softly, his voice barely louder than the breeze. “Maybe you just need to borrow my faith for a while until you find yours again.”

  Because he believed she still had it. Her faith had just gone cold, dormant. But it was still there.

  “I feel…dirty,” she said, her voice breaking on the last word. Cache enveloped her in his arms, wishing he could take her pain, her anguish, her sorrow. He couldn’t, but he knew who could.

  “Let’s just sit in the back for ten minutes,” he whispered into her hair. “Okay? Just see how you feel.” He didn’t want to push her. Heaven knew he didn’t like being forced into anything.

  Please help her, he prayed, finally centering his thoughts on the most important thing. Karla. Not what she’d done. Those were just actions. She was a person—and a good one.

  “You’re a good person,” he said next. “You belong here, even if you don’t feel like it yet.”

  She nodded against his shoulder, and he tucked one arm against his side and headed back to the church.

  By the time they slipped in the back, the sermon was more than half over. It didn’t matter that Cache didn’t know what the pastor was talking about. It didn’t matter that they’d missed his favorite part of the meeting—the musical numbers.

  It only mattered that he was there, able to bask in the life-giving light of the Lord.

  He could only hope and pray Karla felt it too.

  She didn’t run, and she didn’t cry, so Cache considered both of those wins. She sat ramrod straight next to him, her nerves pouring off of her in waves, but she stayed. She seemed to be listening, her eyes glued to Pastor Williams at the front of the chapel.

  A few minutes later, a mother with a crying baby got up to leave. Cache nudged Karla, and she got up without hesitation and practically sprinted out the nearby door, almost trampling the mother in her haste.

  Cache followed her and found her outside in the shade of the huge tree beside the church, doubled over with her hands braced on her knees. At least she was still breathing.

  “Come on,” he said kindly. “Let’s get out of here.” He mourned the loss of his safe, tranquil time at church. But he told himself there’d be another opportunity next week, and Karla needed him more than he needed to be in that chapel.

  He didn’t turn back toward the ranch, but instead started toward town. She didn’t seem to notice for a few minutes, and then she swung her attention toward him. “Where are we going?”

  “We need food,” he said. “And pie. I feel like pie. Don’t you?” He pulled into a diner he’d frequented several times. It wasn’t as busy as The Finer Diner, and they didn’t have live music.

  But they had great pie in a variety of flavors.

  “Cache,” she said. “I just want to go home.”

  “Well, we don’t always get what we want.” He grinned at her and got out of the truck. She stayed stubbornly inside until he’d walked around the whole vehicle and opened her door for her. “Sweetheart, they have peach pie here that will blow your mind. Come on. Please.” He hated begging, but he couldn’t just take her back to her cabin and let her retreat from him.

  “Peach pie?”

  “The best on the planet,” he said. “Better than yours.”

  That got her out of the truck, and Cache smiled again when she put her hand in his first. “You’re not…you don’t have a million questions for me?” she asked as they crossed the hot parking lot and went inside the diner.

  He waited to answer until they had a table with ice water sitting in front of them. “I suppose I do,” he said. “But they’re not important right now. How did you feel at church?”

  “Scared,” she admitted, some of that fear running through her eyes right now. “But it was…okay.”

  “So next week, we go for twenty minutes,” he said, watching her. Like closing blinds, she drew a wall over her expression. So maybe not.

  He lifted his water to his lips and sipped. Could he go to church for the rest of his life by himself? He’d known Karla hadn’t been to church, but he’d never suspected why.

  “I lost the baby at ten weeks,” she said out of nowhere, and Cache worked hard to school his own expression. Draw those same shutters over it so she couldn’t see his immediate reaction.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “That must’ve—was that hard?” He didn’t want to assume he knew what she’d gone through. He didn’t. Couldn’t even fathom it.

  She shook her head, her hair falling over her shoulders and hiding some of her face. “It was hard, but the real reason I’m such a horrible person is because I was…happy about it.” She covered her face with both hands, and Cache shook his head at the approaching waitress.

  She looked horrified, and Cache understood how things seemed at his table. He held up a couple of fingers and focused on Karla again. Without thinking too hard about anything, he slipped over to the other side of the table and wrapped one arm around her.

  “Shh,” he whispered. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

  That evening, after all the chores were finally done, Cache stood in the gathering darkness, his soul open before the Lord. He’d been thinking about Karla non-stop since that morning, and everything felt like a muddy mess.

  “I like this woman,” he said to the first twinklings of the stars. “Do I give up on her because she’s made some mistakes?”

  That felt absolutely wrong. He’d made mistakes in his life too. Maybe not as big as hers. Maybe not as emotionally scarring. Maybe not as long-lasting. But mistakes nonetheless.

  He’d been asking himself si
nce she’d quieted enough to eat her peach pie and ice cream if he could forgive her, which sounded stupid. She hadn’t cheated on him. But the thought was that she could, and Cache didn’t like that it was there, poisoning his mind.

  “What should I do?” he asked next, and he immediately thought he should join Karla for dinner, as they’d planned.

  At least that had been the plan last night.

  He washed his hands in ice cold water from the pump near the pigpens and headed down the gravel road. He felt alone, though there were dozens of people who lived on this ranch. He had friends he trusted and family he could call.

  But he’d never felt so alone.

  He knocked on Karla’s door, the light within giving off the air of cheeriness. She didn’t answer, and he knocked again.

  When she still didn’t come to the door, he sat on her top step and pulled out his phone. I just want to see you, he typed out. Make sure you’re okay.

  He didn’t care about the food, though his stomach was eating itself inside out. Was he bothering her? Inserting himself in her life when she didn’t want him?

  He sent the text anyway, a severe kind of desperation working its way up his throat. If she didn’t answer this time, fine. He’d go home and order pizza, keep his head down, and—yeah, there was no and.

  Cache wanted Karla Jenkins, plain and simple. He wanted to know everything about her, the good, the bad, the ugly. He wanted her presence in his life. He wanted to help her, and have her help him.

  He got up to knock again, but as he turned toward the door, it opened. Karla stood there, her beautiful blonde hair in strings around her face. She was already crying.

  Cache rushed toward her and gathered her close, pressing her back into the privacy of her cabin. “Hey, I’m here now,” he whispered. “I’m here, and everything is going to be fine.”

  “You’re too good for me,” she whispered.

  Cache wiped her tears and shook his head. “Nope. Not true.”

  “Aren’t you worried I’ll cheat on you too?”

  “Nope,” he said just as quickly. “I’m not.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because, Karla, if we do this, if we’re really together, and in love, and married, and….” His voice stuck on all he’d said. He was talking way too far down the road, but Karla just gazed up at him, waiting for him to finish.

  “I trust you,” he finally said. “And I trust God, and I think we’d be great together. So no, I’m not worried about you cheating on me, because I believe our relationship could be exactly what we both want.”

  He looked at her, almost desperate for her to say something back to him. Something to let him know that she felt the same way about him.

  Something.

  Anything.

  Chapter 12

  Karla saw the anxiety in Cache’s eyes. She wanted to erase it, but she’d blown open their entire relationship. Their friendship too.

  Bombed it.

  He was too good for her, despite his protests.

  “I made pizza,” she said, stepping out of his arms in an attempt to make the moment less awkward. “I know you like all the meats, and….” She trailed off as she went into the kitchen but he stayed by the back door. “You don’t want to eat.”

  “I want to know how you feel about me,” he said, his voice on the low end of dangerous. “I basically just poured my heart out to you, and you started talking about pizza.”

  Karla blinked at him, surprised. He was so calm all the time. So witty. So light-hearted. “Food is how I show I care about a person,” she said. “I didn’t realize I needed to say it out loud.”

  The anger slid right off his face. “Really?”

  “Cache, I went to your place yesterday and cooked for you for three hours. I wouldn’t have done that if I wasn’t madly crushing on you.” She turned away, embarrassed by the words. She wasn’t great at saying how she felt. The food should convey that message.

  Cache joined her in the kitchen, his body heat next to hers as soothing as the scent of marinara still hanging in the air.

  “I made the sauce from scratch,” she said, wishing her voice didn’t sound so strangled. “It took all afternoon.” She looked up at him, fireworks popping when their eyes met.

  “I think you’re beautiful,” he said, tucking an errant piece of hair behind her ear. Of course, they were all errant, as she’d done nothing with her hair that day and hadn’t showered in two.

  “I put on all the meats, because I know you like them. And olives, and green peppers, and mushrooms.” She indicated the cheesy pizza that had come out of the oven ten minutes ago. She hadn’t been sure Cache would still show, but she was so, so happy he had.

  Cache grinned at her, and the mood lightened considerably. “You’re an amazing woman, Karla.” He touched his lips to her temple and said, “And I’m starving.”

  Karla busied herself with making punch and getting down plates. He held her hand and bent his head to say a prayer.

  “And please bless Karla that she’ll know how much she’s loved,” he said, causing her breath to hitch in her throat. She didn’t hear another word of his prayer, but she managed to squeeze, “Amen,” out of her mouth after he’d said it.

  “I never did ask you what you thought of the peach pie,” he said, sitting down at her small dining room table like he’d eaten there plenty of times in the past. He hadn’t, but she sure did like the sight of him there.

  “It was delicious,” she said. “But I don’t see how you think it’s better than mine.”

  “They put something in it,” he said. “Nutmeg or cinnamon…something. I can’t put my finger on it.” He bit into a slice of pizza, and his eyes rolled back in his head as he moaned.

  “Karla,” he said around the mouthful of food, and she laughed.

  He swallowed and said, “Sweetheart, I sure am glad you know how to cook.”

  She was too, as it brought her a lot of joy to feed those she cared about. And she did care about Cache. A lot.

  Eating dinner beside him felt fabulous, and by the time he stepped out her back door, she was starting to feel more like herself again. Her new self. The woman she’d become since leaving behind her life in the city.

  A tiny ray of hope entered her heart, and she pressed her eyes closed, whispering, “Thank you,” and hoping God wasn’t too mad at her that He wouldn’t hear.

  The next day, Karla went to the cuddling cows and rinsed out their water trough. They snacked on grass all day long, but even she knew animals needed fresh, cold water. Especially in the summer heat, now that June had arrived.

  Cache would be by in a little bit, after he finished his work at the Canine Club. Karla rinsed and sprayed off the loose grass that had stuck to the metal trough, finally setting the hose in it to fill.

  None of the cows approached her the way they did Cache, but that was all right. She’d practiced with them a little bit on Saturday afternoon when she’d stopped by to fill the troughs, and she could get a couple of them to lay down and let her cuddle with them.

  She still didn’t know their names, because all cows looked identical to her. One turned toward her, a low moo coming from her mouth. “Hey, girl,” Karla said. “Down.”

  The cow seemed to give her a very bovinial glare, but down she went. Karla had no treat, and the last time she’d tried to act like these cows were dogs, she’d hit one of them with an apple.

  “Good girl,” she said anyway, holding out her palm. “Stay.” She gave the cow a few seconds to obey, and then she stepped over her front legs and cuddled into the warmth of the cow’s body. “Ah, that’s nice,” she said, gazing up at the blue, blue sky. So blue it seemed impossible something should be that color.

  “What can you tell me about your owner?” she asked. “Is he really that kind? That good?”

  Sure, she’d seen the turmoil on his face in the truck, but he hadn’t asked her a million questions, and she hadn’t felt judged.

  She hadn’t wanted a
nyone to know her secrets. Her last secret relationship had torn a hole right through her soul, and she didn’t want to go through that again.

  Of course, everything about this secret relationship was different. For starters, she wasn’t married. Secondly, Cache wasn’t some guy she’d met at a party. Third, she was different.

  “I’m different,” she said to the sky, a measure of peace filling her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered next. “I want to do better. I do.”

  Sitting in church had been an exquisite form of torture. Surely the pastor would be able to feel the sin radiating off of her, but he’d simply continued on with his sermon. In the short time she’d been in the chapel, she’d heard him say that the Lord was mindful of all of his children.

  And funnily enough, Karla had believed him.

  Still, it was much easier to breathe outside the church than in, and she couldn’t believe how kind Cache had been after her confessions. Of course they mattered, but they hadn’t driven him away.

  She sighed into the cow, happier today than she’d been yesterday. Then, when the time grew close to when Cache would show up, she slipped away from the dairy cow and headed back to her cabin.

  After all, she had a brand new cow cuddling website to build, and that was going to take most of the day.

  Time marched forward, and the first couple of weeks of June slipped through her fingers like smoke. Cache continued to stop by and see her after dark. Sometimes she snuck into his place while the cowboys were still working.

  She had meetings with Scarlett and Adele, learned that her next-door neighbor was pregnant, and put the appropriate amount of effort and happiness into her job, her friendships, and feeding the cowboys on the ranch.

  Her life felt fuller now than it ever had before, and she knew the reason. Cache Bryant.

  She’d never told him she was the one showing up in his pasture to water his cows. He never told her someone was doing that for him. Karla relished that secret too.