Chasing Paige (Falling for Words Book 1)

by Tiffany Janine

  I’m lying on my side, listening to some JINKS on my iPod, when Lynn comes barreling into my room. “Hey, you up to going out or something? We can get dressed up, go clubbing. What do you say?” She slaps my butt to get my attention.

  “No.” I sigh.

  I feel the bed dip as she sits down next to me. “Okay, well…how about just going to some bar and getting smashed? We can go to Reds? You love that place.” I do love that place, but I don’t have the energy. I’m so tired all the time. Gee, I wonder why? “Come on, it will be good for you to get out,” she pleads with me, as she pushes on my shoulder. “You have barely left this room all week, Paige. I’m starting to get worried.” I continue to wallow and not answer back, which most likely will make Lynn all the more upset. Then she mutters out, “Because of that low life jerk, I’m missing my best friend.”

  She suddenly gets my attention. Turning over onto my other side, I scowl at her. “You’re forgetting that I’m still in love with that low life jerk, so don’t call him that.”

  She crosses her arms and smirks. “Wow, if I knew I’d get that much out of you, I should have said it sooner.”

  “I know you’re trying to help, but it’s not working.”

  “What can I do then, huh?” She shrugs. “You need to get back into civilization and get your ass back to the bookstore. I need you there, Paige. Teresa cannot work overtime, she’s got school.”

  She makes an absolute valid point. I need to get back to work. It’s not fair for her to be stuck working all on her own, much less making our new employee take the load for me. I can’t do that to either of them. Life doesn’t stop just because mine went to hell.

  Sitting up from lying down, I push my pillows up against my back. “I’m sorry I’ve been dissing both of you. It’s just been so hard.” The sting of tears begins all over again. I’m so tired of crying. “How am I supposed to move on after everything?” I ask with a plea in my voice.

  Shaking her head, Lynn says, “Just like when you lost Glen. You just do it. No one ever says it’s going to be easy. I mean, look at me, I was cheated on by my husband with multiple women, but I moved on. I know it’s not really the same thing, but it was still just as devastating to me.”

  “I know it was, I’m so sorry,” I reply, wiping a tear from my cheek.

  She swipes a hand in the air, like she’s trying to get a bug out of the way, and simply comments, “Pfft. It is what it is. But the difference between my husband and James, though? James would fly to the moon for you. He truly loves you.”

  I grab a tissue from my nightstand. “What happened to him being a low life jerk?” I sniff, and then wipe another tear with my tissue.

  She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, well…he still is, but damn it…he freaking adores the hell out of you. I’ve seen it up close and personal. It’s a once in a lifetime kind of love, my friend.” She nudges my arm.

  He adores me. Once in a lifetime kind of love. Everything Lynn is saying can very well be true, but the way she’s going from hot and then cold toward James, is totally confusing me. “Of all the people who I thought wanted to kill him–”

  “Oh believe me, I still want to chop his nuts off.” She laughs, but without humor. “He’s in my permanent dog house.” Totally confusing. “To be honest, Paige? It’s Glen that I’m the most disappointed in, and the fact that James’ own brother killed him. That’s just terrifying.” She shudders.

  I know exactly what she means. Dominic is a danger to society. “It makes me unbelievably ill. Dominic needs to go to jail.”

  “More reason for you to get up.” Lynn hops off the bed and then tugs at my arm. “You have to call the police. He’s gotten away with it for too long.”

  Another point taken. This sadness just turned into anger.

  Drunken Loser of a Brother

  He was very disappointed in his brother. He never actually thought he would call the police on him. The second he heard the news that he was being tracked, he fled. Out of nowhere, his life was tragically falling apart.

  He was sure that Molly would be just as devastated as his parents were, into learning that their brother and son was the one who killed Glen and his whore. Not ever seeing them again aged him overnight. He hurt for them, but he had to leave.

  Then to find out, days later, that Paige called the police as well, was not a very smart thing on her end.

  Yes, it was his fault for killing her husband, but damn it, it was so long ago he was sure it wouldn’t have been brought back up to see the light of day. He tried so hard to keep his secret dead and buried where it belonged. He even sold his car to some drug dealers, which he knew wasn’t a safe bet, but he had to do it. He never wanted to be found out.

  Dominic was furious with James. Furious for getting involved with the woman who could destroy him and reveal his deepest, darkest sin. He was too proud to tell anyone what he had done. He was ashamed of himself, but years of keeping himself under the radar, Dominic became a different man. Painfully different. He didn’t even know who he was anymore, and that terrified him.

  However burdened he was by his actions and behavior, he had to keep an eye on Paige. He was waiting for her to go back to her safe haven– Chasing Pages. As safe as she thought she was, Paige had no clue that he was waiting for the right moment to steal her away from everyone she loved.

  The moment Paige made a dent in his brother’s heart, he knew she had to go away. Dominic’s sane mind was no longer thinking straight. He’d become a stranger to himself, someone he hated.

  There’s no looking back now. It’s either disappearing with Paige, or it’s a lifetime in prison. A place he knew he wouldn’t survive.

  J.D. Parker - Minus

  Days, maybe weeks later, I heard some rattling outside the door, so I hid myself as much as I could underneath the scratchy, gray, prison blanket. What if I’m next? What if the smells of this hole are the last smells I’ll ever breathe into my lungs? No more roses, coffee, baked goods, my mom’s perfume, my grandpa’s peppermint pipe he always smokes. If this is the last place of my existence, then I want to remember all of my idolized memories…the smells, the tastes, the sights. Because once I’m dead, I’ll take everything with me.

  The door crashes open and I’m blinded by a bright light.

  My eyes were puffy and red, but I put on my best eye cream and a touch of makeup to try to cover up what I was still feeling on the inside. I pretty much looked like hell the day I returned to work. Smiling at the customers throughout the day was a bitch, but I kept on chugging and eventually started to feel somewhat happy. The readers bring me so much joy when their faces light up as they buy a newly discovered indie author’s book, or their favorite author’s next big best seller. That feeling never gets old.

  It’s the day after I’ve come back to work and I just rang up a couple ladies, and sent them on their way when Lynn asks, “I’m going to get coffee, you want anything?”

  “Just my usual, thanks.” I smile at her, which she knows doesn’t fully reach my eyes.

  “Hey…chin up, buttercup.” She winks, and then exits the store to go next door for our coffees.

  I go onto Facebook and post a few things regarding our store, and the upcoming sale we’ll be having, but my mind begins to stir, and it goes to wondering about James again. I miss him terribly, it hurts so much.

  Every so often, I think about reading and listening to James’ messages. They’re just sitting there in my phone, unopened, probably full of ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I love you,’ but I can’t get myself to look at them. I need time to let everything sink in. Discovering that my marriage was a total farce, and built on lies, is very hard to grasp. To top that off, the new love of my life chose to keep all those lies to himself, because his big bully of a brother had a chain held around his neck and yanked him around like a freaking puppet. It’s sick, plain and simple. But, however badly I feel for James, it still isn’t right what he did to me. He’s a strong man who allowed his brother to control him, and th
at is something I’ll never truly understand. Maybe I’m being too hard on him, but like I said, I need time to think.

  I do feel some relief after phoning the police in Arizona, and from what I’ve heard, James did the same thing. As much as I’m hurting from all the lies and betrayal, I still hurt for him and his family. What Dominic did is unforgivable. He killed not only my husband but also the woman who was with him that night. It’s a total catastrophe. The turmoil his family must be going through right now. I can’t imagine the pain and heartbreak.

  Just as I’m about finished with some Facebook business, a customer arrives. With a smile on my face, I welcome them. “Hi, welcome to Chasing Pages.” But my smile quickly vanishes. “Molly,” I announce surprised. Why on earth would James’ sister be here?

  A little hesitant at first, Molly walks further into the store. With a slight smile on her face, and a brief wave of her hand, she answers, “Hi, Paige.” I look beyond her to see if James is outside, but I don’t see anyone around. Molly must have noticed my eyes wandering since she says, “Don’t worry, James isn’t here.”

  What a relief. I’m so not ready to see him.

  During her parents’ award party, I had gotten to really liking Molly. I found her to be smart, intelligent, funny, and very humble. At the time, I could see us becoming really good friends, but now that James and I are no longer together, it seems weird to have her inside my shop.

  And even though I know she’s not here to buy a book, I’ll just ask her anyways. “I don’t mean to be rude, but what are you doing here?”

  Very nonchalantly, she says, “To talk.”

  To talk. Obviously about James. Out of curiosity, I ask, “Did James ask you to come all the way out here to convince me to take him back? Because, I’m sorry, I can’t do that right now…or maybe ever.” It hurts so badly to say that I’ll probably never take him back. I’m just not in the right mind, and I get the feeling Molly understands.

  “No, he didn’t, but I absolutely agree with you.” She reaches across the front counter and touches my hand out of sympathy, then quickly pulls back. “I don’t blame you at all for how you’re feeling. If it were me, I’d feel the exact same way. James did a horrible thing by keeping such key information from you. It’s downright shameful on his behalf. I’m not proud of what my brother did…actually I’m not proud of either of my brothers. Devastated, actually.” Her eyes shift downward.

  I really don’t know what to say, other than, “I’m sorry about Dominic.” As much as I despise him for his actions, I still feel horrible for his family.

  “Me too, but I’m more than sorry that he took your husband’s life.”

  “Obviously our marriage wouldn’t have survived anyway, considering he was cheating on me,” I hastily mutter out. Why would I even blurt out something like that to her? Ugh, I can be such a moron at times.

  Thank goodness she doesn’t pay any attention to my comment. “Look, I know that we don’t know each other very well, but…we’re all hurting just the same. Our brother and our parents’ eldest son is going to go to prison. We’re overcome with such deep grief. I really don’t know how my mother is going to survive this. She’s heartbroken and so scared.” I wish I could tell her that everything will be okay, and if there is anything I could do for them, don’t hesitate to call. Clearly, that just can’t happen. She looks about ready to break down and cry, and reaches into her purse for a tissue. If only I could comfort her somehow.

  After a couple silent seconds, Lynn comes walking through from next door with our coffees. “Here ya go, sweetie.” She brings my coffee up to the counter and then gives me a strange look about the woman dabbing her eyes.

  Immediately, Molly puts on a brave smile when I introduce them to each other. “Uh, Lynn…this is Molly. James’ sister.”

  Molly extends her hand out to Lynn. “Hi Lynn. Nice to meet you.”

  Lynn, thank God, graciously shakes her hand back. “I wish it were under different circumstances, but nice to meet you too.”

  “Same here.”

  I hate the thought of turning Molly away. She’s not here to cause trouble and instead she is a genuinely nice person who, clearly, wears her heart on her sleeve. So I’ll give her a few more minutes to hear her out. Or maybe it’s me wanting to feel closer to James somehow?

  Shaking off whatever feelings I may have, I mention to Lynn, “We’re going to go in the back. You’ll be okay up here?”

  “Always am.” She winks.

  I lead Molly toward the back, and into the office. Once settled inside, she patiently waits for my undivided attention, and then continues her plea. “Paige listen, I’m not saying what James did was right, but Dominic can be very intimidating. He always has been. James looked up to our brother, so when it came to listening to his advice, he took it…even if it was the wrong thing to do. He’s not a bad person.”

  I almost wince at her assumption. Leaning up against my desk, I cross my arms over my chest. “I never said that he was, or even thought that he was a bad person. On the contrary, I find James to be the most giving, most loving man I have ever known. That’s why this is so excruciatingly hard.” My voice fades, and my chin begins to quiver. To not ever cry over James again would be a miracle. I tug out a tissue from the Kleenex box beside me, and then dab the corners of my eyes. I’m so drained from the tears.

  With my chin down, I hear Molly sniff. “I understand, I do,” she whispers. Walking up closer to me, she grasps onto my hand. I look up into her glossed over blue eyes, and recognize the pain behind them. With much optimism in her voice, she continues, “But maybe…you could hear him out? Allow him to explain?” She shrugs one shoulder. “He desperately wants you to take him back - but by all means, he’s not getting his hopes up. He just wants to talk.”

  This is so hard. More than anything, I want to forget this whole nightmare ever happened and move on, but I can’t do that unless I hear James’ side of the story. The realization suddenly gets my attention.

  Looking down at my feet, I nod my head yes. “I’ll talk.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes,” I repeat.

  Unexpectedly, she hugs me. “Thank you, Paige. I know you’re doing this because you need some answers.” Just as quickly as the hug, she steps away from me.

  “At first, I thought I had heard everything, but.” I exhale, pausing. “…yes, I need some answers to heal, and for closure.”

  “Okay. Good.” She ends on a small smile. “Do you want me to have him call you, to schedule a time when to meet?”

  “No.”

  “Sure…okay, well, here’s my number.” She finds post-it notes on my desk and writes down her number. Leaving the number on my desk, she says, “Thanks for giving me the time to talk.”

  “No problem. I know you’d do anything for James and I respect you for that.”

  “Thanks. Take care, Paige,” she says, giving me one more hug.

  “You too.”

  After she leaves, I take a seat in the chair behind my desk, and take a long, necessary breather before I go back out front. I’m glad Molly came for a visit. She genuinely loves both of her brothers very much, but taking on the role as the sibling leader must be so hard on her.

  Once I gather some energy back, I get to my feet and continue my day as best as I can.

  We have three more hours before it’s time to close the doors for the night. But Lynn needs to run a couple unexpected errands that can’t wait till later, so that means I’ll be at the store alone. We don’t allow leaving each other alone for more than fifteen minutes when the store is open. Having two people working at all times is primarily for safety reasons. However, this one time, Lynn needs to leave. This is fine by me. One hour is no biggie.

  “So, I’ll be back in an hour, you’ll be okay? I hate leaving you alone,” Lynn announces, with a worried voice, as she grabs her purse from behind the counter.

  “I’ve got this, don’t worry.”

  “You sure, because w
e promised we would always have two people in here at all times.”

  “Seriously, Lynn, don’t be ridiculous.” I chuckle. “I left you for Maui, remember? It’s one hour. I’ll be fine.”

  She points a finger in my direction. “Yeah, but don’t forget, I had volunteers that weekend.”

  Ignoring her reason, I tell her, “Just get going.” I lightly shove her shoulder.

  “Okay, okay, see ya.”

  “Bye.”

  A good thirty minutes have gone by. I’ve had one customer during that time, which was a good thing, because my mind wandered back to the one place that always crushes my heart. James. No matter what I do, I can’t get him out of my head. If only I could forgive him, and move forward with my life. Yet, it’s not that easy. When it comes to the man I love, it will never be easy.

  Straightening a few bookshelves from previous customers browsing, I hear someone come through the door. Before I get a chance to head in the direction to greet my customer, a large, black gloved hand wraps around my mouth, instantly setting my heart flying and my adrenaline on high.

  My first reaction is to try to scream, but the intruder has a good hold on my mouth, and an arm tightly wrapped around the middle of my body. “Shh,” the intruder hisses in my ear. “Be a good girl and you won’t get hurt. Understood?” He jerks my stomach, hard, causing me to shriek. After I comply, he continues talking low in my ear. The hot breath from his words land on my neck, which sends a sick feeling all the way down to the pit of my stomach. “Good. Now, listen to me very carefully.” However low he tries to keep his voice, I know who it is. Dominic! “You’re going to close your store, then text your pretty little friend, Lynn, to tell her you got hungry and went down the street for some food. And then walk casually by my side to my car, but if you so as much scream.” He rattles me again. “…well, you don’t even want to go there.”