This Is Your Life

by Susie Martyn

  Lizzie hadn’t planned to go back to Ginny’s that afternoon. Actually, she was heading for Sparkie’s to try to find an outfit for the wedding, but suddenly she remembered she’d left her notebook in Ginny’s greenhouse. Filled as it was with all her sketches for the wedding flowers, she didn’t want to risk losing it. It was still early afternoon. She could call in to Ginny’s with enough time to get to Sparkie’s.

  The house was quiet when she got there, and Lizzie let herself in through the side gate. She could see her notebook on the table round by the greenhouse, but as she went to pick it up she heard a muffled sob. Looking around, Lizzie couldn’t see anyone, but following the path around the side of the house, she found Ginny sitting in the shade, in the furthest part of the garden.

  Tentatively, Lizzie walked towards her. Ginny looked a small, sorry shadow of her usual self, her hair unbrushed, her pastel shirt smudged, and mascara in streaks down her cheeks. She blew her nose as she saw Lizzie coming towards her and hastily pinned on a false smile.

  ‘I came by to collect this,’ Lizzie explained apologetically. ‘I didn’t mean to disturb you…’

  ‘Oh, don’t take any notice,’ Ginny tried to say with a heroic attempt at her habitual brightness. ‘I’m sorry, Lizzie. You’ve just caught me at a bad moment…’ and to Lizzie’s horror, Ginny’s face collapsed in a hideous grimace as more tears rolled copiously down her cheeks.

  ‘Ginny…’ Lizzie sat down beside her, quite worried by now, placing a hand on Ginny’s hunched shoulders. ‘What’s wrong, what’s happened?’

  Feeling the sobs racking Ginny’s body, Lizzie felt alarmed, uncertain what to do. Had someone died? And where was everyone else? ‘Ginny, would you like me to call someone for you? Family or something? Edward?’

  At the mention of Edward’s name, the sobs turned to wails. ‘Not Edward…’ Ginny’s body tensed as she regained control and at last the sobs subsided.

  ‘Oh, you may as well know…’ she said, blowing her nose noisily. ‘It’s Edward that’s the problem…I shouldn’t really be telling you this.’ She wiped her face. ‘He’s having an affair.’ Then seeing the look of incredulity on Lizzie’s face, added, ‘oh, and it’s not the first time. There’ve been several...’

  Lizzie was flummoxed. Short, smug unattractive Edward with those dreadful teeth, was having affairs? Lizzie struggled to imagine how anyone could find him remotely attractive in the first place. But then she looked at Ginny, who’d spent all these years married to him.

  Wiping more tears away, Ginny continued, ‘I think it all started when the girls were quite tiny. You know, there’s what seems at the time like an endless period where your every waking moment is taken up looking after them. Wonderful though they are, life becomes just an endless routine of cooking, cleaning, washing and driving around to various activities...Everything revolved around the girls. And I suppose Edward is just one of those men who can’t take second place. Even to his own children, even for a little while… So when someone else came along and paid him the attention he was missing, that was it. And now, the girls are older and I’m starting to get my life back. They need me less, and he’s off dallying with his - his floozies...’ Her voice croaked.

  ‘Oh I know what you’re thinking. That I’m stupid to stay with him. I suppose I am...’ Ginny sighed through her tears. ‘I nearly left him once. Three years ago... He was sleeping with his secretary. Honestly, it was disgusting. That brainless creature was young enough to be his daughter – she’s only a couple of years older than Persephone – my eldest. God only knows what she saw in him. Power maybe? I really can’t imagine what else. He’s not the most attractive man, is he? I confronted him about it, he promised to finish with her, and we agreed we’d try to make our marriage work. That was just before we moved here. It was supposed to be a fresh start... I know it’s very shallow, but this house and all of this…’ Ginny gestured at the garden. ‘This was what I always wanted for the girls, and I do love it so…and in about five years, they’ll have grown up and gone. It’s not long, so I told myself I could endure his behaviour just for a few more years, for them…’ The tears had started again. ‘He had another affair of course, which didn’t last long, and I turned a blind eye, but now he’s told me he’s seeing someone else. He says that this time, it’s serious, and he’s not breaking it off with her. So, it’s up to me, if I go on living with him knowing this, or whether we break up…’

  Ginny had run out of tears, and sat there, slumped, staring at the ground.

  ‘At the moment, I don’t know what to think. I’m too shocked. And I need to think of the girls, and he is their father, even if he is a despicable bastard. So,’ she smiled a watery smile at Lizzie, ‘I really do need to sort myself out, don’t I?’

  Lizzie looked at her, her heart full of sympathy. ‘You know, you really don’t deserve to be treated like this. It just isn’t right. I don’t know how you’ve carried on this long, not letting it show. Your daughters really don’t know?’

  Ginny shook her head with a degree of pride. ’I don’t think so…’

  ‘But,’ Lizzie added slowly, ‘there are worse things than growing up just with your mother. Mine brought me up. She was wonderful…’ she said wistfully.

  ‘Was?’ asked Ginny with curiosity, then more calmly, ‘Did you lose her?’

  Lizzie nodded, suddenly unable to speak. ‘Two years ago. She had cancer. She was my family you know,’ Lizzie said quietly. ‘I never knew my father, he died when I was four, and she didn’t re-marry. But it was good. She was a great mother. The best.’

  Ginny was silent, then she raised her eyes towards Lizzie. ‘Oh Lizzie. I’m sorry, I had no idea.’ She took her hand and they sat in silence for a moment.

  Then she added in a normal voice, ‘This pink garden of mine. It’s a silly idea, I know that. I don’t mind what you do with it really. I know you’ll make it look wonderful.’ She went quiet again.

  ‘Nonsense,’ said Lizzie firmly. ‘Your pink garden is going to be a sensation, don’t you imagine for a moment it’s not.’

  A confusion of thoughts filled Lizzie’s head as she drove to Sparkie’s, in desperate need of some retail therapy. Poor, poor Ginny. How could she even bear to look at that awful man, let alone share a bed with him? And how did men like that get away with it? Edward’s arrogance was outrageous. Lizzie shook her head, hoping that Ginny would come to her senses and kick Edward firmly into touch, exactly where he belonged.

  After Ginny’s bombshell, Lizzie needed Sparkie’s more than usual. Nola was up a ladder painting again when she got there, adding another line.

  ‘For our customers who’ve lost their way…’ she called down to Lizzie.

  Everyone is beautiful … had been painted on a previously bare section of wall. Lizzie liked it.

  Julia made herbal tea, and they showed her all the wonderful new clothes that they felt sure were here especially for Lizzie.

  ‘Lovely, isn’t it, that one,’ said Julia admiringly. ‘Oh Lizzie, you really do look beautiful, doesn’t she Nola? And some of these only came in this morning…’

  Nola nodded in agreement, her feline eyes watching Lizzie.

  Eventually, she’d chosen a dress that she’d instantly fallen in love with, wonderfully flattering in softest, sludgy blue dotted with flowers. It was a flowing kind of dress, the perfect length for showing off tanned legs and of course, she had to buy the pretty beaded sandals that went with it.

  The girls had given her a faded silk rose on a slide to wear in her hair as a present, which Lizzie would never have chosen for herself, but Nola and Julia were right. It was the finishing touch. Between them, they had brushed her hair and pinned it up at one side, and shown her how to pin the flower just above her ear.

  ‘Oh,’ they said, beaming at her with delight. ‘You look stunning Lizzie. Look.’

  They’d pushed her in front of the enormous mirror and Lizzie did a double take. She barely recognised the person staring back at her – these g
irls were just incredible.

  ‘Do you have time for a drink Lizzie? Only there’s a new cocktail bar just opened. Just round the corner, and Nola and I were going to treat ourselves. We’ll treat you too! Kinky Pinks all round!’ She’d taken her hand. ‘Come and join us!’

  Ginny would just love this place, thought Lizzie! Ice cream coloured tables and chairs with matching cushions, and a long list of cocktails with the most exotic names she’d ever heard. Lizzie eventually got round to telling them about meeting Tom, and Nola and Julia had exchanged very knowing glances.

  ‘What?’ Lizzie asked them, looking from one to the other. ‘What is it?’

  ‘Fate,’ said Nola. ‘Or call it destiny. You see, if you hadn’t moved here, you wouldn’t have met Susie, nor would you have met Tom. But you’d already met him, hadn’t you? Oh, that’s even more amazing. Surely you can see, Lizzie, it’s meant to be…’

  But Lizzie was confused.

  ‘And,’ added Julia, ‘he recognized you didn’t he? It definitely means something, think about it.’

  ‘It’s karma,’ said Nola.

  ‘Kismet,’ added Julia, nodding.

  ‘Destiny. You can’t avoid it.’ And they were both silent, looking at her lovingly, their eyes sparkling with excitement.

  It all sounded double dutch to Lizzie as she waited for them to start on about the universe again. But it set her was thinking... In fact it startled her to realise just how much thinking she was doing these days, all about Tom Woodleigh.

  ‘But,’ she faltered. ‘But it’s not as though he’s asked me out or anything…’

  ‘Oh Lizzie,’ Nola shook her head, a knowing look on her pretty face. ‘You are a silly.’

  ‘He thinks you’re with Leo,’ added Julia. ‘Someone like Tom is far too much of a gentleman to go moving in on someone else’s girlfriend.’

  ‘Oh.’ Lizzie was dismayed. They were right. How did they know these things? And why couldn’t she figure it out for herself? And what was she supposed to do now?

  Chapter 25

  The week of Susie’s wedding was here and Lizzie’s nerves were getting the better of her. It was going to be a huge affair. Over two hundred guests, top notch caterers, and a band who were ‘completely awesome,’ according to Cassie at least. Lizzie was wishing with all her heart that the Woodleighs had employed a society florist, leaving her free to spend the week as she usually did, digging flowerbeds and covered in earth, which though tiring was infinitely less stressful.

  But then she might not have been invited…And Lizzie’s heart was a-flutter as she thought about running into Tom, though she wasn’t sure what, if anything, she was expecting. Rather rashly she’d invited Leo, though after what Nola and Julia had pointed out, she was beginning to wish she hadn’t, but Leo had sauntered in to her kitchen and seen the invite and before she knew it the words had popped out.

  But she’d also had the best piece of news. Julian had called her first thing.

  ‘Ah, Lizzie… I’m emailing you. Now. Copy of the article on the farm… You know…erm… well, could you just run your eye over it and make sure it looks alright?’

  Astounded, Lizzie agreed, and called him back half an hour later.

  ‘Julian – it’s perfect. The photographs too… It really looks incredible!’

  ‘Ah, well, glad to hear you say that.’ He sounded pleased.

  ‘Oh and Julian? Thank you, so much…’

  It was Lizzie’s last morning at Ginny’s until after the wedding, and the plants were being delivered. After unloading what felt like endless trays of plants on the drive, the driver carried the heaviest shrubs over to the back of the garden, where they would be kept until after the wedding, before he drove off, leaving Lizzie alone with the rest, in pots, in the middle of Ginny’s drive. Lizzie began the arduous task of moving it all, and as she carried yet another armful of plants across the lawn, she noticed the slight figure of Ginny’s youngest daughter standing forlornly by the greenhouse.

  ‘Hello. You’re Alice aren’t you?’ She’d noticed her before, the youngest and least flamboyant of the girls, but with brown eyes like a deer’s and skin dusted with freckles, possibly the prettiest.

  Alice smiled back shyly. ‘I just wondered’, she asked quietly, ‘can I stay down here for a bit? If I’m not in your way?’

  ‘Tell you what’, Lizzie said, wondering if Alice knew, ‘I’ve got tons to do here. You could help me for a while if you like? There’s all this to move into the shade, and then we need to water it all. What do you say?’

  Alice’s face lit up. She followed Lizzie out to collect some more plants.

  Lizzie soon discovered that Alice didn’t share her big sisters’ obsession with clothes and make up, not to mention boys of course. She’d also divulged that actually, yes, she had met Tom. More than once actually… There was a twinkle in Alice’s eye as she’d told Lizzie what a stupid crush her sisters had going on! If only she knew... thought Lizzie, mortified, that she herself wasn’t much better.

  And it seemed that Alice was also genuinely interested in the garden. She’d already asked if she could help with the planting. Maybe there was a gardener in this family yet.

  ‘I could help you again if you like?’ volunteered Alice shyly as Lizzie was leaving. ‘I mean, I don’t want to be a nuisance, only if it’s useful …’ Her voice tailed off.

  ‘Do you know,’ Lizzie said slowly, ‘I might just take you up on that. I could really do with an extra pair of hands this week, with the wedding flowers. Obviously I’d pay you. It would be hard work though,’ she hastened to add.

  ‘Thanks!’ beamed Alice. ‘I’ll just check with Mummy…’

  Antonia had stopped as she rode past Lizzie’s cottage on Hamish.

  ‘I say, Lizzie… Tobes has asked me to the wedding! Going to be a frightfully posh do…Hope you’ve got a frock?’

  Lizzie ignored her. ‘You know we need some ideas for the Ball! Have you got the tickets yet by the way? Shouldn’t we be selling them?’

  ‘Oh darling, you’re way behind! Yes, I do have them and I’ve already sold a hundred and twenty! Without even trying! Miriam’s thrilled of course. And you’ll never guess, but Eucalyptus even bought a couple…but she wouldn’t tell me who she’s bringing! I asked of course, but she went a bit pink and wouldn’t say! Golly – I’m intrigued! I wonder if it’s anyone we know?’

  ‘I’ve seen the article for the magazine!’ said Lizzie. ‘It’s perfect! The headline is ‘Gardens for a new generation’. We just have to hope that loads of people read it and want to send Miriam their money…’

  ‘Stand still darling,’ she said to Hamish who was bored and starting to fidget. ‘I tell you,’ she said to Lizzie. ‘She’ll have more visitors than she knows what to do with by the time we’ve finished.’

  Susie’s hen weekend had passed in whirl of sunshine, surfing and seafood, with some serious wine drinking thrown in for good measure. Rock had been at its picturesque best, with iridescent turquoise waves crashing onto the pale sand, and hot - gloriously so. Susie had found herself driven to waste not a single second. A sense of recklessness had her running for the sea, urging her further out to catch bigger waves than usual, pushing her usual boundaries.

  Now on her way home, she was gripped by a sense of panic as she at last acknowledged what was eating her. Because just days before her wedding, Susie was having second thoughts. What if Rory wasn’t the one? And she didn’t feel enough for him? How did she know she wasn’t making the biggest mistake of her life?

  That evening, Lizzie had collapsed in the shade of her apple tree with a large mug of tea, with Darren perched on her lap. Her chickens clucked serenely as they scratched in the long grass, and Lizzie tried not to think about all the to-do lists in her head, as she gazed into the blue sky and felt the tension in her muscles ebb away. She breathed in wafts of the honeysuckle that was just coming into flower and that’s exactly where Susie found her, when she wandered around the side of the cottage.<
br />
  ‘Hey Susie! You ok?’ Susie looked tired - not her usual sparkly self at all. ‘How about some tea, or a proper drink?’

  ‘I could murder a glass of wine. I’m sorry Lizzie, I should have brought some, but I didn’t know I was coming here. I was driving by and well, I just thought maybe I could pop in, if you’re not busy of course…’

  Something was definitely up, thought Lizzie. She looked most subdued - not a trace of that boisterous excitement.

  ‘Of course I’m not – come on, I’ll find some wine.’

  Susie sat on the brightly cushioned seat of one of the chairs which were still in one piece but only just, and leaned her elbows on the table, quiet, after hours of driving too fast. Lizzie sat down opposite and poured out two glasses of white wine.

  ‘How was your weekend? It must have been great! What did the girls have in store for you?’

  ‘Actually, said Susie, ‘it was surprisingly uneventful. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it was lovely - we sunbathed and surfed, and had some fantastic food. But, oh Lizzie, I’ve been feeling quite funny…’ Susie couldn’t stop once she started.

  ‘You and Leo,’ she asked tentatively. ‘Is it, you know, anything serious?’ She watched Lizzie’s cheeks blush under her tan, as she studied her wine glass.

  Lizzie looked up, a quizzical look on her face. ‘Honestly? I don’t think so. It could never be. He’s just not my type. I do think he’s gorgeous looking and I did wonder to start with, but…’ She broke off, not wanting to tell Susie that meeting her brother Tom had put a stop to that; that Tom put Leo in the shade...

  But tears had starting to trickle down Susie’s cheeks, and Lizzie reached out a hand to her.

  ‘I’m glad you said that. You know, that bloody Leo…I hate myself Lizzie…but I’m more attracted to him than I’ve ever been to Rory…sorry, I hope you don’t mind me telling you, only I don’t know what to do... I was hoping that if he was your boyfriend it would snap me out of it. You know, girls code and all that…’ But Lizzie wasn’t upset in the slightest, it was just that Leo, of all men… it was ridiculous. He wasn’t worth it.