This Is Your Life

by Susie Martyn

  Lizzie was puzzled. ‘What about Roscarn? She told me I should find it. Roscarn and Spriggan Point.’

  ‘Come with me.’

  They walked through the back garden through a gate into a field.

  ‘Mind them cow pats,’ he said. ‘It’s not far.’

  At the other end of the field was another gate and the dilapidated remains of a building.

  ‘Roscarn,’ he said nodding. ‘Jago’s cottage. Completely ruined-like now… but that’s what your Mum was talking about.

  He stood and watched as Lizzie stepped forward. She reached a hand out to the crumbling bricks, resting it there a moment, then peering in through the broken window. The remains of Jago’s furniture was still there – damp and rotting. Then she looked towards the sea, rippling eternally below.

  And at that moment she understood.

  ‘You haven’t told me your name,’ she said slowly as they walked back.

  ‘I haven’t, have I. Forgetting my manners aren’t I. It’s Joseph. Joseph Talan.’ He hesitated. ‘My wife’s name was Eliza.’

  Chapter 36

  It was cutting it a bit fine by the time Lizzie arrived home. Preparations for the Ball were nearly in place. Aubrey had come up trumps and the marquee that had been put up on his lawn was spectacular.

  ‘Absolutely no point in half doing a job,’ he’d said firmly.

  But there was still much to do and Antonia was tearing around like the proverbial blue-arsed fly, overseeing everything except the tables.

  ‘Now Lizzie,’ she’d said bossily, having given her a good telling off for disappearing. ‘You’ve got a budget. Don’t mind if you do it yourself or pay someone else. Don’t give a bugger. Just make sure it looks impressive. Ok? I want everyone spending shed loads of money.’ Not waiting, she added, ‘Good show. Now Katie can meet all the VIP’s, and I’ll set up the auction...’

  Toby had reappeared. It seemed his father had suffered a heart attack, and in a panic, Toby had rushed to his bedside without a thought for anything or anyone else. But after the initial shock of his disappearance, Antonia seemed to have adapted quite happily to life without him, and their reunion had been far from the joyous one Toby had been hoping for.

  Antonia in fact, had been out of sorts for some time.

  ‘It’s the bally money darling,’ she confided miserably to Lizzie. ‘The truth is, the horses cost a bomb, and I’m not sure how long I can keep it up…’

  ‘Something will come up,’ Lizzie reassured her. Having been at rock bottom herself, she remembered only too clearly how things had an uncanny knack of ‘coming up’ when you needed them enough.

  ‘I hope you’re right,’ was all she said, not sounding terribly hopeful.

  But something had indeed come up. Two days before the Ball, Toby had asked Antonia out for dinner.

  ‘I’ll have to cancel this evening, darlings,’ said Antonia. She, Katie and Lizzie had been going to start on the table plan.

  ‘Don’t worry – we can make a start. Is everything ok?’

  Antonia looked far from happy. ‘Just Tobes, darling. Says he wants to take me out somewhere special to make up for leaving me in the lurch. Trouble is Lizzie, I think I’m going to have to break it off with him. It was awfully good fun, but it’s run its course, don’t you think? Golly, I suppose I’ll just have to come out with it…’

  ‘I’ve put my flat on the market!’ announced Katie.

  Lizzie nearly dropped the plates she was carrying. ‘You what? Why? Where are you going to live?’

  Katie grinned. ‘Do I really need to spell it out?’

  Lizzie’s jaw dropped open. ‘You mean…’ she started incredulously, ‘…you and Tim?’

  ‘Is it that much of a surprise? He asked me last weekend! And do you know, I really think he might be the one…’

  Just as she dropped her bombshell, the door was flung open and Antonia burst in, clutching her hands.

  ‘Oh my God…he only bloody proposed darlings… I – I didn’t know what to do…’

  There was a stunned silence and Lizzie poured her a stiff drink which she gulped down in one.

  ‘Phew, that’s better darling. I think it’s the shock, but I really do feel a little odd…’

  ‘But I thought you were going to end it,’ said Lizzie carefully.

  ‘I was, I was…,’ said Antonia agitatedly. ‘But then he gave me this.’ She unclenched her hands and flashed an enormous diamond at them. ‘Isn’t it utterly heavenly? And it would solve so many of my problems…’

  ‘And create a whole load more,’ said Katie bluntly. ‘You don’t love him enough, Antonia. It wouldn’t be fair on Toby.’

  Antonia looked crushed.

  ‘Look, you told me earlier you were going to end it,’ said Lizzie. ‘That it had run its course. Antonia, really, it’s simple…’

  ‘Oh darlings, I know you’re right…’ She hesitated. ‘But d’you think I’ll have to give it back?’

  ‘YES,’ they answered in unison.

  ‘It’s probably a family heirloom,’ said Katie.

  ‘And you’d only feel guilty,’ said Lizzie.

  ‘Oh Lord…I might not, you know.’

  Then, two days before the Ball, the letter had arrived. The position was hers if she wanted it. And oh, what a dilemma that left her in…

  She’d talked to Katie about it, who’d leapt up out of her chair. ‘Wow

  Lizzie! It’s a fantastic opportunity, but you can’t! You have this

  wonderful life here, your business and so many friends, and I’m about to move here too!’ Then added more seriously, ‘but this offer’s too good to be true, isn’t it? A dream job in a gorgeous place… and your friends will still be here of course… I really don’t know what to say.’

  And Katie was right. Life here was wonderful in so many respects. And more than that it would forever be the place that had helped her find her way forward. But should she stay? That was the bit Lizzie couldn’t work out.

  She’d thought and thought about it. Sat down and written lists of pros and cons... No closer to making a decision, she’d donned her trainers, and gone for a run, going miles further than usual, running twice as far as usual in her efforts to seek the clarity she was desperate for.

  But secretly, part of her felt that this was an opportunity not to be missed. And if she let it pass her by, that door would be closed for sure. Someone else would get the job, she knew that. And she had this newly discovered connection to the West Country. She’d promise Joseph she wouldn’t disappear the way her mother had. If she took this job she’d be so much nearer to him.

  She wouldn’t lose touch with her friends, but it wouldn’t be the same, she knew that. But maybe, also, it was time to give up on the last of her hopes about Tom.

  Everything was set. Looking around the marquee and the tables she had decorated with ivy, flowers and candles, it did look wonderful. The guests were due to start arriving at any minute. The weather had been kind and a team of smart young waiters were out on the newly mowed lawn in the evening sun, holding trays of champagne to welcome them before the fabulous dinner that awaited them inside. Antonia had absolutely insisted that they use top notch caterers, even though the quote had been well over what they’d budgeted for. Then there’d be the auction, followed by dancing for the rest of the evening with The Bozo Dog Doo Dah Band, already tuning up. It really was all most impressive - Antonia hadn’t compromised on anything.

  Lizzie had splashed out on a dream of a dress, which Nola had ordered in

  specially. It was the deepest turquoise silk which shimmered as she moved and made her feel like a princess. Taking a deep breath as she stood there, she couldn’t help but feel how amazing this was. And a little proud too, about what between them they’d put together.

  Just then Antonia shouted. ‘Lizzie? Katie? Cars are here, darlings!’

  If anything could have swayed her decision about Devon, it would have been this evening, Lizzie reflected, feeling a mixtur
e of love and sadness as she watched so many of her friends arrive. One of the first was Tim, smartly dressed in a dinner jacket as were all the men. He anchored himself at Katie’s side, not budging for most of the evening. Miriam too was early, looking surprisingly elegantly turned out, with one of her sons on her arm.

  ‘I can’t believe you’ve done all this for Hethecote,’ she said to them, looking utterly over-awed.

  Eucalyptus wafted in, looking shabbily glamorous in a faded taffeta creation that Lizzie hadn’t seen before, and startlingly rather happier than usual. And with a familiar looking figure beside her. Lizzie’s eyes widened with her first shock of the evening. She’d never in a million years expected to see Jamie here! Nor had Katie, who was over there like a shot to get to the bottom of it. Jamie and Eucalyptus? Maybe it wasn’t as odd as it seemed…

  Poor Toby strode in dejectedly, gazing lovestruck at Antonia for a second before seizing a glass of champagne and disappearing. Then Leo, with his hand resting in a most familiar way on the expensively-clad bottom of Ginny, resplendent in pink silk. Looking slightly sheepish as they spotted Lizzie, Ginny sashayed over, her face looking much less stressed and rather more wrinkled than Lizzie had ever seen it.

  Ginny kissed her resoundingly on both cheeks. ‘I expect you think I’m having a midlife crisis,’ she giggled coyly at Lizzie, ‘And I have to admit, I probably am! But honestly, Leo has been such a sweetie.’

  Leo winked over at them and Ginny blew him a kiss. ‘He’s been so good for me. I feel wonderful! Oh I know it won’t last, but it’s the best fun I’ve had in about twenty years!’ and she wiggled off in her heels back towards him.

  As Lizzie watched them together, Katie flew over and filled her in.

  ‘Apparently they met at an art gallery! They got talking, probably about some la-di-da crappy piece of art, but when Jamie found out where Eucalyptus lived, and that she herself was an artist, he realised he’d seen one of her paintings in your cottage! Is that true, Lizzie? Only I’ve never seen it...’ Katie sounded slightly puzzled.

  ‘I don’t put it up usually,’ said Lizzie. ‘It’s a little too – er – modern for my taste…’

  ‘Oh. Well, I’d imagine Jamie loved it then!’

  ‘It looks as though he did! Aren’t they just the strangest couple? You know, this place is full of them.’ Lizzie indicated over to where Ginny was giggling flirtatiously at Leo, who looked positively adoring. ‘You’d never in a million years imagine those two together either…’

  ‘Hmmm, see what you mean...’ They tried to stifle their laughter, turning to glance at Euc and Jamie hovering uncomfortably by the bar. ‘And it’s not her kind of do at all is it...’

  ‘Or his…’ giggled Lizzie, enjoying the spectre of Jamie on unfamiliar turf.

  Nola and Julia were here, looking exquisite in stunning dresses, which Lizzie was certain had never graced the rails of their shop. They were accompanied by two gorgeous men who could have graced the pages of Vogue.

  ‘Oh Lizzie, this is wonderful! Everything is! And you know there’s a full moon this evening… the park will be at its most perfect…’

  ‘Flowers…’ Darius and Angel were behind them. ‘How adorable to see all you all here…’

  Then as she spotted Susie and Rory, who she’d known were coming, and Susie’s parents, who she’d also expected, Lizzie got her next shock. That was definitely Shar, hand in hand with Rich… Lizzie’s heart started to thud. There he was. Right behind them all. Tom.

  ‘Lizzeee’ Susie squeaked, dashing over as fast as her slinky black dress would allow. She flung her arms round her. ‘I’m so happy to see you!’

  ‘Oh, come and join us, please....I love what you’ve done to Mummy’s garden. She is so thrilled with it...’ Susie chattered away.

  Shar came over too. ‘Hello again, I can’t believe it’s been so long...that thick brother of yours wants his head examining,’ she told Susie bluntly, then turned to Lizzie.

  ‘That cow Lucy had him in her clutches for a while, until he got round to extricating himself. She’s not here,’ Shar added, seeing the look on Lizzie’s face. ‘Honestly, didn’t I warn you he was hopeless?’

  Tom stood looking round a little awkwardly until he saw her. There was no avoiding him this time.

  ‘Hi.’ He bent to kiss Lizzie’s cheek. ‘It’s good to see you again. Really good…’

  His expression was serious as he continued. ‘Um, there was something I...’

  But just then he was rudely interrupted by a deafening announcement of ‘Dinner, ladies and gentlemen’ and a request for everyone, please, to take their seats. Jostled by everyone filtering past, Tom gave up. He’d had it all planned out, everything last word he wanted to say to Lizzie, and there was no way he was not going ahead with it. But right now it was impossible. ‘Perhaps we can talk later,’ he raised his voice hoping that Lizzie had heard him.

  Seeing Tom right now was not helpful at all. It didn’t help either, when Leo nudged her elbow, saying ‘finally got it together with lover boy then!’ before dodging just enough out of the way as most uncharacteristically she tried to kick him. But as she did, something jogged Tom’s memory, and in that split second, he was transported back to a crowded underground train during the wettest summer in years. He remembered exactly where he’d seen Lizzie before. It was that look on her face as she kicked Leo that did it. Someone had been feeling her up on a train. It was all coming back to him, as was her embarrassment when she’d noticed him watching.

  ‘Darlings, you’ve surpassed yourselves!’ Angel was wafting around most impressed. The food really was every bit as sumptuous as the tickets had advertised, which was just as well, given the cost of it. Katie had successfully negotiated a deal on some excellent wine, which had gone some way to redressing the shortfall in the budget, and which the guests were clearly enjoying, if the copious bottles they were downing were anything to go by.

  The well-heeled among them were feeling most magnanimously disposed by the time the auction came round, and that part also went with a swing. Antonia was deep in conversation with a man Lizzie didn’t recognise, until he’d winked at her, when she realised with a shock that it was William. In a spotless dinner jacket and striped dickie-bow, a far cry from the scruffy farmer Lizzie was used to. Toby however, was somewhat quieter than usual. In fact the poor man looked like he’d just been sentenced to death. Catching him alone, she sat down in the empty chair beside him.

  ‘You ok, Toby?’

  He shrugged his shoulders, looking thoroughly dejected. ‘Told you, did she? Oh...’ Then, ‘damned fond of the old girl,’ he said in a most forlorn voice, making Antonia sound more like a jersey cow than the woman he wanted to share the rest of his life with. ‘Thought she felt the same way,’ he added glumly.

  Lizzie’s heart went out to him. ‘She’s awfully fond of you Toby…But you know, her last marriage wasn’t so great. You can’t really blame her...’

  Toby was silent. When he spoke, he was desolate. ‘Thing is, a chap gets to a point in his life where he needs a wife. Someone to warm his slippers. Darn his socks, keep the home fires burning, know what I mean?’ No wonder Antonia had run a mile.

  ‘Toby, if it doesn’t work out with Antonia, I’m sure you’ll find someone else. You’d be a catch...’

  Toby brightened momentarily. ‘I don’t suppose…’ He looked at Lizzie, then lowered his head. ‘No, course not, sorry old bean. Just thought I’d ask.’

  ‘Toby. Thank you. I’m flattered, truly,’ said Lizzie, ‘but there is already someone. I think...’

  ‘Oh jolly good, well done...’ Toby slumped back in his chair and lapsed into silence. Let’s face it, thought Lizzie, the poor man had just been dumped. He was bound to be a bit down in the mouth.

  ‘You’ll be ok, Tobes.’ Lizzie’s eyes gazed earnestly at him, as getting up, she patted his hand. ‘I promise. I’ll see you later.’

  She bumped into Antonia almost straight away.

  ‘What did you
say to him? He’s heartbroken,’ Lizzie muttered at her.

  ‘He’ll be fine, darling. Needs to man up, that’s all. Now come and talk to the Wainrights, darling. They’ve really been exceedingly generous. Be a darling and take them some free champagne...’

  In fact, it seemed that the happiest couples among them were the newest. Tim whisked Katie away to the dance floor, where Leo and Ginny were already putting on a surprisingly dazzling display. Finding herself alone, Lizzie was grateful for a moment to catch her breath and think. But not for very long, as Shar came over and collapsed into the chair next to her.

  ‘Come and have a drink with me and Rich?’ she suggested, a twinkle in her eye. We’re outside – there’s a bench under one of the cedars. It’s a bit quieter away from this lot! You go on. I’ll just collect another bottle of wine, and I’ll join you.’

  Lizzie wandered outside and looked across the park. Nola and Julia had been right – a huge round moon was rising behind the trees, brightening the dusky sky. It was a beautiful night. As she breathed in the scent of damp grass, she heard a voice behind her.

  ‘It was on a train. Actually, the tube. You were annoyed with someone, erm, extremely annoyed I think.’

  And in a flash Lizzie remembered too. Slowly she turned round. It had been Tom’s coat she’d been staring at, and Tom who’d winked at her when he’d got off the train after she’d stomped on that horrible man’s foot.

  ‘Oh...’ was all she could say, completely dumbfounded, as the memory came flooding back to her. Then giggled, adding with feeling, ‘That was a really bad day! One of the worst!’ Then she suddenly thought - that was the day. The day that all of this started…

  Feeling bolder, she asked him, ‘why didn’t you call? I really thought you were going to...’

  Tom sighed. ‘I think I made a mistake. No, I know I made a mistake Lizzie. A big one. We were together for two years, Lucy and I, until she ended things. I found it very difficult afterwards. When I saw her again, that time with you, I didn’t really think. But later, when I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I realised...’