The Bad Boys Guide to the Galaxy

by Karen Kelley

  “I don’t think you’re happy about going to the casino. You were the one who suggested I discover more things. I really do want to know more about Earth, and if I can bring back some of the pleasures, it might please the Elders.”

  “Or really piss them off,” he muttered. “They don’t zap people, do they?”

  “Zap?”

  “Yeah, you know, vaporize people.”

  She laughed. “Of course not.”

  “Good.”

  “They haven’t done that in…years.”

  “Great. Now I feel a lot better.”

  “Nerakians aren’t violent. We believe in the purity of the mind, body, and soul. Violence would have no place in our lives.”

  She was sure she’d mentioned that before. His memory wasn’t nearly as good as hers. He was better at sex, though—that she would give him. She would improve with practice, of course.

  “As I mentioned before, we are a superior race.”

  Why were his knuckles turning white as he gripped his steering device? Was that another sign he wanted to have sex? There’d be enough room in his pickup—maybe. She didn’t think it would be as comfortable as the bed, though.

  No, his facial expression didn’t look happy. Besides, it might not be a good thing for her to think about sex. She didn’t want to get horny until after she’d seen the machines. They would have sex later.

  “Tell me about these slot machines,” she asked.

  He shrugged. “They’re games of chance. You put money in, push a button to spin the reels, and if you get something that pays, you win.”

  “And what do people win?”

  “More money.”

  “And money is good?”

  He quickly explained the monetary system in his country. How people worked to earn money and the different amounts that it came in. It was a very simple system. Of course, Nerak’s was much easier.

  “What do you do with this money?” she asked when he finished.

  “You can buy clothes, pay your bills, buy food. But it doesn’t grow on trees, so you have to be careful how you spend it.”

  It sounded very simple, but where was the source of the money? If one could find out, then they would have a lot of power. “Where does money come from?”

  “How is it made?” he asked, looking across the seat at her.

  She nodded.

  “Pulp.” He shrugged. “From trees.”

  She frowned. “But yet it doesn’t grow on trees.”

  “Not exactly.”

  Very confusing if you asked her, but when lights began to appear on the horizon, she lost interest in money. The bright lights were almost as pretty as the ones on Nerak, and the closer they got, the brighter they were.

  Sam pulled off the highway and drove toward a tall building with clusters of lights and a fountain. Would they let her play in it? The water shooting at different angles looked like it would be fun.

  “What’s that?” She pointed toward large statues that sat on either side of the entrance.

  “Eagles…birds that fly in the sky.”

  She didn’t think it would be very easy for them to fly in the sky, but she wouldn’t question Sam. Maybe they broke out of their stone cage and flew at certain times.

  He pulled under the brightly lit awning and got out. A man dressed all in black opened her door—without complaining—and she got out. As least this male knew how to show her the proper respect due her status.

  Not that he could possibly know. She wasn’t even wearing the robes of a healer. Sam had said he was putting his foot down on that one. She’d wanted to tell him that both his feet looked to be firmly on the floor, but she didn’t.

  The black pants weren’t as uncomfortable as the jeans she’d worn, and the red top fit rather loosely. Sam said loose was better since she wasn’t wearing a bra. For some reason, talking about her lack of a bra made him stutter, and the bulge appeared again.

  He certainly got horny a lot.

  Inside, the ceilings were high and very brightly lit. There were tall columns, and one wall had something similar to their walls with pictures of people. These were wearing white cloths and holding jars.

  “Are these the ones who have passed before you?” she asked.

  “What?”

  She pointed to the wall. “Are these your ancestors immortalized in the pictures?”

  He didn’t look quite as tense as he had. She wondered what she’d said that had caused just the whisper of a smile on his face.

  “No, it’s just a picture someone painted.”

  “Well, it’s nice anyway.” Her gaze drank in all the sights. Everything sparkled, much like the promise stones on Nerak. And there was a vehicle in the middle of the floor on a pedestal, turning around and around. It was much prettier than Sam’s pickup.

  “What’s that for, Sam?”

  “They’re giving it away.”

  “You should get one. Your vehicle is very uncomfortable. This one might ride better.”

  “They don’t just give it away.”

  “But you said…”

  “You put your name in, and if they draw it out, then you win the car,” he said, scraping his fingers through his hair.

  Was he getting agitated? No matter.

  “Then you should put your name in.”

  “I like my pickup.”

  He frowned. He was doing that a lot, too.

  “Listen, we’re here to look around. That’s all.”

  “Of course. And to play the slots.”

  “No.”

  “On the commercial, they said they were a lot of fun. I would think you had to play them, as the man said, to experience the fun.”

  “They also cost money. Money I don’t have to throw away.”

  “Please.”

  “No.”

  He could be very obstinate, and after she’d said please, too. She didn’t have to say please—she was a healer. She didn’t think it would hurt to play one of the slot machines.

  “Remember, look but don’t touch.”

  She would touch it if she wanted. He was not her ruler, and since he wasn’t an Elder, she didn’t have to do as he commanded.

  Sounds began to intrude. Lots of clanking noises. Fun sounds. Her heart began to beat faster as a rush of adrenaline shot through her.

  They walked around a corner. Lights flashed, and bells were going off. People laughed and talked. The atmosphere was very festive.

  Oh, the commercial was right. This was going to be fun.

  “Look, don’t touch,” Sam warned.

  He seemed worried. She wondered why. They were machines, like companion units, except they provided a different kind of pleasure. Surely, no harm would come if she touched one of them. She saw the other people hadn’t been vaporized or anything.

  As she walked past one, she lightly ran the tips of her fingers over the surface, making sure Sam didn’t catch her. Nothing happened. She hadn’t thought anything would. She was a healer and could sense these sorts of things.

  A woman sat in front of one of the machines. Lara stopped and watched. The woman pressed a button.
Reels spun. Three bars on the first spin, three on the second, and three on the third.

  The woman jumped up and clapped her hands, screaming, “I won!” Bells rang.

  The slots looked like fun. Other people were hitting the button and winning. Why couldn’t she play, too? She looked at Sam, afraid she might have to say please again.

  Sam didn’t like the look in Lara’s eyes. They were starting to glass over as she stared at the woman who’d just hit triple bars.

  “Just one, Sam. How can I tell the Elders about slot machines if I don’t try one?”

  “Believe me, you don’t want to tell them about slot machines.” They were going to zap him for sure. Sodom, Gomorrah…and Nerak. Damn.

  He looked out over the sea of slot machines, but his gaze came right back to Lara like a magnet. She waited patiently for him to cave. He could see it in her eyes. She wouldn’t stop until he gave in.

  Why the hell had he told Lara the gambling boats were within driving distance? He could’ve just as easily lied. But he hadn’t, and now he was stuck.

  “Okay, but only one machine. I said I would show you a casino, and I have. You can play one slot machine, but as soon as you lose the money, then we’re going back to the cabin. Deal?” His eyes narrowed.

  “Yes.”

  Too easy. “Do you know what deal means?”

  She shook her head.

  Ha! Just as he thought. “It means that you agree to play one slot machine, then we leave.”

  “I agree.”

  He didn’t trust her. One machine, and if she didn’t leave, he would throw her over his shoulder and carry her out. He refused to let her get the best of him.

  Yeah, just like he’d refused to bring her to the cabin and refused to take her to the casino. He was such a sucker. He squared his shoulders. No, this time, he’d be firm.

  “Which machine do you want to play?”

  She grabbed his hand. “I don’t know. Let’s go further inside.”

  He didn’t think he wanted to mention she wasn’t acting at all like a healer, especially the way she clutched his hand.

  Her hand was small compared to his, and it was warm, like when she’d given him a massage. He liked the tingles that shot up his arm when she held his hand. He could actually feel her excitement. But then, it was hard not to—it was written all over her face.

  “This one,” she proclaimed, stopping in front of an empty machine.

  It was a wild cherry quarter machine. He’d carefully steered her away from the dollar machines.

  He pulled a twenty out of his wallet. “When this is gone, we leave—agreed?”

  She nodded and sat on the stool. It was a weeknight, so the casino wasn’t filled to overflowing. He inserted the money and sat at the next machine to watch.

  “Now what do I do?”

  “You push the button and see what happens.”

  She pushed the button. The reels spun before clicking into place one at a time.

  “What did I win?” she asked, practically squirming on her seat.

  “Nothing.”

  She frowned. “I don’t think I like slot machines.”

  “Good. Let’s go back to the cabin.”

  “I’ll try again.”

  She pushed the button.

  The reels stopped. Again, nothing.

  Her lips pursed. He had a feeling it might’ve been better if she’d won. The look on her face said she wasn’t leaving until she hit something.

  “The odds are in the favor of the casino,” he told her.

  “That’s not fair.”

  “They couldn’t stay open if it was fair,” he explained.

  She spun again, and this time, hit a cherry. She laughed and clapped her hands.

  “I won!”

  “Not exactly.”

  She frowned again, and he tried not to laugh.

  He pointed to her credits. “See, you only got back the amount of your play. It’s like getting a free spin. You’re not winning, though.”

  “I’m not sure I like your slot machines.”

  “They’re not mine.” He cleared his throat. “I have to make a bathroom run. Will you be all right and stay right here?”

  She nodded, already pushing the button again as if he wasn’t even there. He glanced at his watch as he headed toward the men’s room. Fifteen more minutes, and the money would be gone, and they could leave.

  He was corrupting her. He didn’t think this was what he was supposed to do. Seeing the deer was a good thing. That’s the kind of sights he wanted her to take back. Certainly not a smoke-filled casino.

  He exited the bathroom a few minutes later, looking around as he did. His hands were tingling, and he realized he was sweating. When he looked at the machines, he had an almost uncontrollable desire to play one.

  Crazy. He never gambled. Maybe a few times, but he’d never felt any kind of pull until now. He ignored the desire to play and walked back toward where he’d left Lara.

  It seemed there were more people in the casino. His eyes narrowed. Maybe not more people, just a concentration of them where Lara should be.

  His heart skipped a beat.

  A hazy swirling of colors flickered above the small crowd. Just like what had been above the cabin earlier today and when they’d had sex. What the hell was with all the colors? He had a feeling this wasn’t a flashback from the smoothie, either. And it damn sure wasn’t a laser light show. No, he had a feeling it was Lara.

  Damn.

  The closer he got, the worse it looked. This was bad. What if she’d gotten mad at the machine and zapped it or something. He elbowed his way through the crowd.

  “You’ve got a hot machine, honey.” An older, heavyset woman with blond highlights streaked through her dark red hair stood beside Lara. The woman rubbed the side of Lara’s machine. “Come on, jackpot. Mama needs a new pair of shoes.” Her mixed drink sloshed over the side of her glass, spilling onto the floor.

  “Come on, jackpot!” Lara yelled. “Mama needs shoes!”

  “That’s right, sweetie, you gotta talk to the machine.”

  “Like companion units?”

  The woman’s brow creased. “Whatever the hell they are.” Her eyes widened. “Oh, gotcha, honey.” She winked. “I’ve got one of those in my bedside drawer. Best friend I’ve had since Billy Ray kicked the bucket.”

  The reels spun, clicked one, two, three. Triple bars.

  “Yes!” Lara clapped her hands, then hugged the woman.

  For a healer who didn’t touch, she was touching a hell of a lot lately. He eased up to her. “Lara, what are you doing?” He spoke as quietly as he could over the noise.

  She looked up, eyes glassy, cheeks flushed. “Winning!”

  Oh, God. He glanced at her credits. She’d turned the twenty into two hundred dollars. He’d have to pry her loose from the machine. Not good with the crowd standing around. He’d have to wait until they dispersed before he could get her safely away without causing a scene.

  She spun the reels and lost the next five times. The crowd began to thin, as did the flashing lights above them.

  “Come on, baby. I need shoes.” She didn’t sound n
early as confident as she had a few minutes ago.

  “Honey, looks like the machine has gone cold. Take the advice of a slot machine junkie and find another one.” The woman tossed back the last of her drink, then left.

  “Another machine, yes, that’s what I need to do. Find another machine.”

  “Now, Lara, you were only going to play this one, remember?”

  She turned on him, eyes narrowed, teeth bared.

  Evil alien! If her head started spinning, he was out of there.

  He took a step back, came close to crossing himself, and he wasn’t even Catholic. Right now, it seemed a good thing to do.

  “I want to play another machine,” she said between gritted teeth.

  What happened when a Nerakian got angry? He didn’t think he wanted to find out.

  He hit the cash button and waited until the white paper spit out of the slot. “You can put the paper in another slot machine, and it’ll give you credits, but remember, when this is gone, that’s it.”

  She softened, smiling. “Of course.” She immediately began to look around. He might as well have left the building for all she seemed to care.

  She’d caught the gambling fever. There was only one thing to do—let it run its course and hope the losing streak stayed with her.

  “This one,” she said, reaching her hands out and closing her eyes. “I can feel its power.”

  “Can you really?” he whispered, glancing around.

  No, don’t even go there, he thought to himself. He was already harboring an alien, the smoothie could very well have been a hallucinogenic, and now, he was looking at illegal gaming practices.

  “Gertie said that’s what I needed to do.”

  “Who’s Gertie?” He glanced around to make sure Lara wasn’t calling too much attention to herself. Yeah, right, they had cameras everywhere in these places.

  “The woman who told me how to play the machine. Gertie said I had to talk to it in order to win.”

  “And what did she say about picking one?”

  “That I had to feel its essence.” She turned back to the machine. “I feel this machine’s essence.”