Barefoot and Lost

by Brian Francis Cox

  ‘I have no idea what my dad was like, I was only five when he joined the navy and have not seen him since, I don’t even remember what he looked like.’

  ‘What not even have a photo of him?’

  ‘No we lost everything when we were bombed, at least I thought I had until Gran died and then suddenly a picture of mum and dad at their wedding and one of Gran, appeared on my bedroom wall’

  ‘What like a magic lantern or a movie?’

  ‘No silly, June must have found them in Gran’s things and put them on my wall to make me feel at home’

  ‘Why didn’t you bring them with you to Australia?’

  ‘Because I didn’t know I was coming here the whole lot was left behind in my bedroom at Hastings when I went to Banardos. There was also my gold medal for swimming, but we thought I was only going for six months so I didn’t bother to take any of them, instead I came here’

  ‘Oh Phillip I am so sorry it must be terrible to have nothing from your past.’

  ‘No need for you to be sorry, but thanks anyway. Come on, let’s go back and learn to crack that whip, I’ll talk to Gloria about Adam when you have gone home.’ We start to run, ‘Better slow down May, poor old Defor is limping.’

  ‘May, I have heard your dad call your mum Helen; I thought her name is Hope?’

  ‘It is he does that just to annoy. Her name really is Helen, but at school she was called Hope, which she prefers because it is unusual. You see, Mum and Auntie Gloria’s maiden name was Landers, so, at school the kids referred to them as Land of Hope and Glory.’

  ‘I don’t get it, surely they were making fun of them what did it mean?’

  ‘You must know the song by Elgar?’ May then begins to sing Land of hope and glory mother of the free.’ I recognize the tune but neither of us knows the rest of the words so we both ‘lah, lah, lahlee lah, lah’ as we make our way home, both of us ending up in a fit of laughter.

  Defor is back in his kennel drinking from his new bowl; Jack is sitting on the tailgate of the Dodge smoking. ‘Ready to have a crack at that whip, every other bugger is asleep. That’s the trouble with Mums cooking, it is so good you eat too much and then can’t move afterwards.’

  ‘I’m ready; shall I go and get my whip?’

  ‘I’ve already got your whip here; I have fitted a cracker to it.’ I don’t like to ask what a cracker is, but I can see two short pieces of string with a knot at the end, tied to the end of the whip. Jack gives a demonstration, on the third attempt he gets the whip to crack, then succeeds in getting a double crack. I try but all I achieve is wrapping the whip around my head. May asks if she can have a go, Jack tells her to be very careful. She lays the whip out on the ground in front of her then pulls it back sharply, it cracks behind her, now she throws it forward and it cracks in front, she succeeds in doing six cracks. Jack looks amazed,

  ‘Where the hell did you learn to do that?’

  ‘Here, last summer, I think you were away at college, Stan taught me.’

  ‘Well in that case you had better teach Phil, I have never managed six consecutive cracks in my life, you’re a flaming expert.’

  I have enjoyed May’s company; she is funny, serious, and competitive. Whatever we did she had to be better, almost as though she was trying to prove something, I suppose she is really, trying hard not to be a girly girl. Not only is she good at whip cracking she is a brilliant horse rider, and yesterday we were using Jack’s .22 rifle on targets and, once again, she was better than Jack. I have learnt a lot from her and can’t wait for her to come back at Easter. By then I will, I hope, be better at riding. Stan is teaching me and says I am doing well, just give it time. The only thing I was able to teach May was skipping. She was reluctant to try because, she said, it is what girls do, but when I showed her my fancy footwork she changed her mind.

  I have walked and fed Defor. Walking back to the house, in the gloom of the evening, I can see the glow of Jack’s cigarette as he puffs, sitting on the tailgate of the Dodge. ‘How’s it going youngen, what about the dog, has he settled in?’

  ‘Yeah good thanks.’ Jack moves over and I sit beside him.

  ‘Want one of these?’ He says, offering me his pack of cigarettes.

  ‘No thanks, it is not something I ever wanted to do.’

  ‘Wish I hadn’t started, cost a bloody fortune and I‘m sure they can’t be good for you.’

  ‘Jack, can I ask you a question?’

  ‘Depends, if it is money you want then I am not your man.’

  ‘No, nothing like that; do you see me as a replacement for Adam?’ I can see he is taken aback he is looking at me as much as to say, what do you know about Adam.

  ‘Why, what have you heard, has mum said something about him?’

  ‘No, on Christmas day Bill mentioned him, so I asked May, she told me about him drowning.’

  ‘Phil, a year ago I couldn’t have talked about Adam, couldn’t even mention his name. Last summer, when May was here, I was getting treatment in Melbourne, not at college as she thought.’ Jack draws on his cigarette; I can see he is deep in thought so I decide not to say anymore, not wanting to upset him. ‘Phil, no, I don’t see you as a replacement for my brother, what I see is a skinny, Pommy kid that has a lot of guts, is pleasant to be with, someone I am proud to know. The only connection I see between you and Adam is that I was able to assist in maybe saving your life, where as I was unable to do that with Adam, what about you how do you feel, do you feel like a replacement?’

  ‘I don’t know what to think, I love it here, I can’t remember ever being so happy, and I just want to be liked for being me that’s all.’

  ‘Phil, I think we should go inside and discuss it with Mum and Dad. This whole damn thing has been hidden away in the cupboard for far too long, but now I feel it should be in the open, everybody has avoided the issue to protect me, not anymore I want to talk.’

  ‘I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to stir up anything.’

  ‘Phil, not at all, I feel better already, let’s get it over with.’ Jack slides off the Dodge, I follow, and both of us slip our boots off at the back door, the fly screen door closes behind me, I feel at home, as though I belong

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Today is Australia Day a public holiday, the day the first fleet arrived in Sydney cove in1788, when Governor Philip raised the British flag and proclaimed Australia as a British sovereignty. We are on our way to the wool sales in Geelong, Jack is driving, Owen is beside him, his head resting on the window, snoring. Gloria and I are in the back, she is reading, I’m counting gum trees.

  The sales last for three days. Owen is not sure when Gadoona’s wool will come up for auction; he and Jack want to attend everyday so that they do not miss it. Jack will be staying in Geelong after the sales, to attend college and training at Dalgety. So while the sales are going on, Gloria is going to sort out Jack’s flat that they have rented for the next three years. I’m not sure what I will be doing, helping Gloria I expect.

  On Friday the four of us are going to Melbourne for my interview at the Department of Immigration, hopefully they will agree for me to stay with the Lewis’s. That day I will have my fingers, my toes and even my eyes crossed to make my wish come true.

  ‘Welcome to the Lewis Family Phillip, that was so easy, she never asked me a question, what did she say to you?’

  ‘She asked, was I happy with you, and did I feel that you were putting me under pressure to stay, I told her not at all, I was very happy with you. She then said come on then, let us tell them the good news.’

  ‘That is all; nothing else, I am so glad, I needed to come to the sales and was able to combine the two, I’d have been very annoyed if I had driven all this way for a ten minute consultation, no wonder they didn’t want to come to us.’

  ‘Owen, it doesn’t matter, everybody is happy. You are happy aren’t you?’

  ‘Of course I’m happy, what about you Phillip? Why have I asked such a stupid question, look at him he is
grinning from ear to ear.’

  ‘Hell, I forgot to ask if they could tell me where Rachel and Billy are.’

  ‘Then let’s go back inside and do just that.’ Gloria and me start to go inside, Owen says,

  ‘Glorr, Jack, and I won’t come, we have something to do, we’ll meet you in an hour at Flinders Street Station.’

  ‘Why, what do you have to do?’

  ‘Just something, see you under the clock in an hour, don’t be late.’

  ‘Jack, what is your father up to?’

  ‘Not for me to say Mum.’ They both walk away along Bourke Street turning around to give a wave and then continue walking.

  ‘I bet they are going for a beer.’

  ‘I am sorry but we are unable to give addresses. What we can do is pass on the information that you are seeking them, then, if they wish to make contact, they can write to you.’

  ‘The same as we did with the Salvation Army.’

  ‘You obviously had no joy.’

  ‘Well, it was Adelaide we tried because we knew Billy was there, but Rachel is supposed to be in Melbourne.’

  ‘I see, fill out these forms, one for each person you are seeking, at the bottom add as much detail of the person that you can we will do the rest.’ The next half hour is spent filling out forms.

  Owen and Jack are waiting under the clock, as we come up to them it dings four-o-clock. ‘Did you enjoy your beer?’

  ‘What makes you think we have been for a beer? We have been doing something far more important but we are going for a beer now and then we will tell you all about it.’

  Retracing our steps up Spencer Street, Owen stops outside the Grand Hotel, then starts to climb the steps, Jack follows,

  ‘Owen, where are you going, you have to drive home tonight, and you know what you are like after a couple of beers?’

  ‘Glorr just come inside for a moment so I can tell you my good news.’

  ‘In the lounge bar Owen orders a beer for Jack and himself, a gin and tonic for Gloria and lemonade for me; he then sits there with a smug look, refusing to say anything or answer Gloria’s questions, I can see she is getting annoyed. The drinks arrive, Owen says, ‘Raise your glasses we have a double celebration: number one the arrival of Phil into our family, and two: at the sales yesterday our wool sold for twenty percent more than expected, so, to celebrate, I have booked us into here, The Grand Hotel, for one night dinner and breakfast included.’

  ‘You old bugger Owen Lewis; I’ll drink to that; to Phillip to Gadoona.’

  I have never been in a hotel let alone stayed in one. The Grand Hotel certainly lives up to its name, the dining room is so grand, the food so wonderful. I was even able to choose what I wanted to eat but couldn’t understand the menu as it was written in French. Why is that we are in Australia and they don’t speak French here. I also had to wear my jacket and a tie; I didn’t have a tie so the boss man in the dining room gave me one.

  The bedrooms are very large; we even have a bathroom in ours that is bigger than my bedroom at Gadoona. The bed’s so big I can’t touch the edges when I lie in the middle; I wonder if this is what it is like to live in Buckingham Palace?

  Back at Gadoona the cows were waiting as usual, there are only three now Betty has gone dry, I have become quite good at milking and feel that I am earning my wages. At dinner the table feels odd without Jack. Over our meal Stan has been filling in Owen with the events during the past week; how he had to get Bill Hamball to give him a hand to repair the boundary fence in the back paddock which had been demolished, he thinks, by kangaroo hunters, it looked like they had driven the vehicle right through it. ‘Are you it sure wasn’t some one after the stock?’

  ‘No, there were thirty-two wethers loose in the forest, we got them back then counted them, and there were six hundred and ten, which was the same count as at shearing.

  ‘Thanks mate, why would they smash down a fence?’

  ‘Bill looked at the tracks, he reckons they were chasing a mob and didn’t see the fence until they crashed into Gadoona, they must have damaged their truck it had completely taken out a post’

  ‘It’s all sorted now?’

  ‘Yeah, Owen, as good as gold.’

  ‘Stan, what about Defor, has he been alright?

  ‘Yeah fine, had him out with Taffy and Joker, he behaved himself, there was no funny business with the sheep, he is either a natural or he’s had some training. His limp slows him down a bit but I don’t think that will not give him any problems in a few months. I think you should use him as a working dog Phil, not as a pet, he’d be much happier.’

  ‘How will I do that?’

  ‘No worries mate, I’ll teach yer.’

  ‘Phillip I can’t take you to catch the bus this morning.’

  ‘Great, a day off school; why can’t you----?’

  ‘You don’t get out of it that easy, you can drive yourself.’

  ‘What on my own, by myself?’

  ‘Why not, only difference will be you’ll have no one to talk to.’

  ‘Gloria, will it be alright?’

  ‘Of course it will.’ The telephone rings, Gloria runs to answer it, I can hear her, ‘Yes Max, straight away.’ She returns, ‘Phillip it will have to be okay I can’t leave the exchange today, up at Blackmans there has been a serious accident. Charlie Blackman has had a tree fall on him.’ The telephone rings again, ‘Go on, get going, don’t drive right into Strathdownie, leave the Ute in Baxter’s paddock on the cross road, go on, be off with you’ Gloria dashes to the phone.

  ‘Phillip, are you still there?’

  ‘Yes Gloria, just going.’

  ‘Bye, be careful, take it slowly, and don’t go overtaking any cars or trucks.’ The telephone rings again,

  ‘I will, I won’t, oh, you know what I mean Bye.’

  ‘Hello Mrs. Gallagher,’

  ‘G’day Philip, how was your day, bet you’re glad to be back at school,’ she says with laugh.

  ‘Good thanks, no, I’d sooner be on holiday. I have just come to pay you that money.’

  ‘Now that is what I like, a prompt payer.’ I place nine pounds on the counter; Mrs. Gallagher gives me back nine shillings.

  ‘I think it was more than that I owed.’

  ‘It was, but I’ve given you discount for prompt payment.’

  ‘Thanks very much Mrs. Gallagher.’

  ‘Don’t mention it’

  ‘Mrs. Gallagher, how much is that browning .22 rifle in the glass cabinet?’

  ‘Just under twenty eight pounds, do you like it?’

  ‘I love it; I would have to save for ten weeks to buy it.’

  ‘Phillip, even if you could afford it today I couldn’t sell it to you until you were sixteen, you wouldn’t want me breaking the law would you?’

  ‘Oh well never mind, didn’t know you had to be sixteen, better get home now, bye.’

  Turning to go out of the door I collide with a man coming in,

  ‘G’day Phil haven’t seen you for while how yer going?’

  ‘Oh; Constable Connelly; eh, good thanks.’

  ‘On your way home are you Phil?’

  ‘Yes, I’d better get going or Gloria will be worried about me.’ He puts on an exaggerated stern look, ‘Can I give you some advice; when you are driving that old Dodge back home wear your hat back to front, it will make you look a lot older.’ His face then cracks into a grin and he then ruffles my hair, ‘Be careful.’

  ‘I will sir, thank you.’

  We are now into April; yesterday we broke up for two weeks from school. Hope is bringing May tomorrow to stay for the holiday. I am really looking forward to that because she is such good fun. Thank goodness, Hope is only staying for two days. I can’t wait to show May how well I can ride and crack my whip. I still have not managed six but I did five once, I was on my own and nobody believes me, but I don’t care, I know I did it and that is all that matters. Most days I drive myself to the bus, Gloria only comes when she needs to go to t
he store or the church ladies group once every two weeks, but even then I drive, she takes over when I get the bus.

  Defor’s limp has almost disappeared, he has made friends with Taffy and copies everything Taffy does, and when we are mustering Defor is like Taffy’s shadow. Stan is happy with him, he reckons that Taffy is a better teacher than him so, to encourage the friendship between them we have moved Defor’s kennel between Taffy’s and Joker. Stan says it will give the three of them a chance to discuss tactics when they are not working. I laughed when he said that, his reply, was, ‘Fair dinkum mate.’ with a serious look, Now I’m not sure at all what to believe, but it is a nice thought. In spite of them being together, Joker will still have nothing to do with Defor.

  We are crutching, starting Monday. May and I are going to do the mustering from the nearest paddocks to the woolshed. I helped Stan muster when we brought the pregnant ewes in for crutching two weeks ago, and last weekend, so I know what to do; I just hope I can do it on my own. He says it doesn’t matter too much if we miss a couple, we can catch up with them later. When we are not mustering we will be in the pens, counting and putting a dab of blue paint on them to show they have been done, we will then take them back to where they came from.

  Owen, Stan, Bill Hamball and a relative of Bill’s will be doing the crutching, cutting the toe nails on those that need it and giving them liver medicine. Before I came to Gadoona I thought sheep just ate grass and grew wool, I have a lot to learn.

  May and I have nearly caught the cows dozing this morning, we are here, ready to go, they are just coming up to the cowshed, May can’t milk, she says she wants to learn. Owen told her he would teach her in the summer when we weren’t so busy. Secretly I’m pleased, that is at least one thing I can do that she can’t do better.