I understood that President Theodore Roosevelt meant his “Big Stick Policy” to be a good thing, but power seems to enjoy being corrupt. His idea that America's strength should be used to help countries who struggled with weaker governments was a well-intended, albeit noble goal, but it wasn't really practical in my opinion. Let's be honest, not every nation wants someone trying to police them!
Revolution is a normal and healthy process for societies, sometimes even essential. Not every dispute needs America to rush in and intercede. When things get out of hand and people need help, that is when the United Nations is supposed to step in, not “big brother.” Who decided that Americans had all the correct answers anyway?
It felt hypocritical to me that we'd try to control another country when we couldn't even control our own nation. Furthermore, our government couldn't seem to take a hint, even when they were directly asked to remove themselves from a situation. I mean, it's cool to help a country out, but at some point, you have to give them their country back, right? I didn't really think America was good at that anymore, if ever, especially if that country had resources we were concerned with.
Our continued participation in the Middle East and our “war on terror” campaign was taxing our nation financially and emotionally. The more our country's economy struggled, the more people were unhappy seeing our resources shipped abroad, regardless of the form it took. There seemed to be a constant tension about our foreign policy as a whole, but particularly where the Middle East was concerned and especially when Americans were lost to the violence of the conflicts there.
“More workers are being laid off,” my dad commented in disgust.
“Wait,” I say in confusion. “I thought we had a low unemployment rate. How can that be if we keep having so many layoffs?”
“People are just giving up,” Carolina replied. “They're having such a difficult time finding a new job, especially with all the countries moving production overseas that they've just stop trying.”
“Wow,” I said. “That's really sad.”
“Well, once the unemployment checks stop and the frustration sets in, most people are just taking themselves out of the workforce altogether. That means that they're not being accounted for anymore,” Georgia said. “It changes the numbers and hides the truth.”
“The president is also talking about cutting military jobs,” our father announced. “He's talking about cutting like 100,000 positions in the Army alone. The idea is to make the military the same size it was before World War II.”
“That's bullshit,” Georgia exclaimed, winning a look of consternation from our mother. “Well, that'll certainly change the unemployment numbers.”
“So many people will lose their means to support themselves and their families,” I said with great trepidation. “If people are having a difficult time finding work in the job market now, how's that going to be when there's another 100,000 looking?”
“Will that affect your job, dad?” Carolina asked.
I hadn't thought about that; about how the cutbacks might personally affected my family. I felt bad that I hadn't considered the consequences of the news and how it might impact my dad… or Roger. I looked anxiously between my sister, Carolina and my dad, John.
“I'm sure I have nothing to worry about,” dad asserted and I could tell he was trying to reassure our mom. “I'm not sure what the ramifications might be for Roger's career though. Sorry, honey.”
My dad reached over to pat Carolina's hand and gives her an encouraging smile. Her perpetual optimism and her unshakeable faith kicked into action and I could see her visibly relax.
“Well,” she commented with a small smile, “we don't know anything for certain now so there's no point in worrying. If it does come to pass, at least it'll mean that Roger can come home.”
Our dad nodded approvingly at my sister for her courage and her strength. As he returns to his newspaper, my mom hugged Carolina warmly.
“That's right, dear,” our mother, Virginia told her.
“Okay, all this talk of work reminds me that I have a job to get to,” Georgia announced as she got up to leave. “I don't want to add to the unemployment stats.”
My mom rolled her eyes at Georgia, as she often did and my dad chuckled quietly. Georgia tended to be blunt and almost crass in her comments, according to our mother. Our father thought she was funny and he always enjoyed her expressive commentaries. He was also entertained by the affects her remarks had on mother's sensitivities, which only encouraged Georgia's outspokenness.
“Have a good day,” Carolina called out to Georgia.
“Thanks,” Georgia yelled back as she dashed out the back door. “You too!”
Carolina was very conservative, like our mother, and she often found Georgia to be a bit terse. Still, she was drawn to our older sister the same way our mom was drawn to our father. My parents seemed to balance one another out. It was interesting that Georgia and Carolina seemed to have that same dynamic. I guess it's true that “opposites attract.”
As I listened to Georgia's car engine disappear outside, I thought about what her day would be like. Though Georgia was in college and about to graduate with her Bachelor's degree, she still worked full-time. I admired how hard she worked in both her professional and academic careers. I knew there was no way I could do what she did and that just made her more awe-inspiring. I had a lot of respect for my older sister.
Georgia worked for a local construction company as a flagman. With her major being civil engineering, a position with a construction company would give her resume a boost. It didn't matter that she didn't actually do the manual labor; it was enough to be familiar with the practices and procedures of the construction company itself.
Georgia was strong enough to endure all the weather Minnesota threw at her during her long hours outdoors. I had never had an interest in having a job where I had to remain outside in the elements. I saw nothing appealing about her job, including the attitudes of most of her co-workers.
Georgia has the right personality and humor though. She was coarse enough to engage in the playful banter and vulgar jokes of her co-workers. I was pretty casual about things, but I still blushed at some of her stories. Yeah, Georgia was one tough chick!
“I better get headed, too,” dad said as he folded his newspaper neatly, leaving it on the kitchen table.
“It's that time, isn't it?” my mom noted and got up to get ready for her exit as well.
Carolina and I didn't say anything; we just got up from the table. This was our usual routine. Carolina and I would clean up the kitchen, clearing the meal from the table; loading then running the dishwasher, and storing the leftovers. Our parents would gather their items and head off to work. Dad usually dropped mom off at the hospital before he headed to the Air Reserve Station.
Carolina didn't work, but she attended college full-time. She had classes all morning and then she'd volunteer in the afternoon. Roger wanted Carolina to be able to focus on college and to enjoy the experience for them both. He said that since he was able to support them and since she'd been able to live with us, Carolina didn't need to work.
Carolina wanted to please Roger, but she was also raised to be independent. Her own sense of responsibility made her feel guilty about putting everything on Roger, so she said she'd only agree to his request if he supported her decision to volunteer. Of course, Roger was thrilled by the idea of his wife supporting the community and he readily accepted her terms.
Carolina liked to volunteer. Her natural instincts were to help people and her caring nature was satisfied by her good deeds. I knew that she would be volunteering after her classes. Since she was in school to become a teacher and she loved kids, she spent a great deal of her time helping out at the Children's Hospital. Roger was really proud of her and he liked her giving him detailed accounts about both her college experiences and the children she worked with at the hospital.
I realized I would need to leave soon too. Though I was onl
y a high school student, I was in a special program that allowed me to take classes at both my school and at the University of Minnesota. Though I attended a few classes every day at my senior high school, I attended a few night classes at the university as well. Since today was Friday, I only had to attend classes are the senior high.
My courses at the university gave me dual credit, so they counted for both educational institutions. This meant that I was not only able to meet my high school graduation requires, but that I'd also have college credits as well. If I kept things up, I'd be able to graduate a semester early from high school. However, I wouldn't be able to “officially” graduate until the spring, when I'd walk with my class at graduation.
Rae and I had most of our classes together by our own design. We planned our schedules so that our humanities, literature, and mathematic courses were the same, but our science courses were not in sync with one another. I preferred botany and took my classes at the university. Rae took advanced courses at the high school, but her classes were the mainstream courses of chemistry, physics, and biology that were required for graduation.
I couldn't wait to see Rae today. I hadn't told her about Chris kissing me yet and I knew she'd flip when I did. Since we only had two classes together, our time would be limited. I'd have to tell her sooner opposed to later; I knew she'd be disappointed that I had already waited as long as I did to say anything. With that in mind, I grabbed my backpack and decided to tell her in our first class together, which was choir.
“I can't believe you didn't call me!” Rae shouts, drawing some attention to us.
“Shhh,” I warned her to be quieter.
“Why didn't you call me?” Rae gave me a dirty look and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Then she added angrily, “You should've called me.”
“Really?” I said in both humor and agitation. “So, what you're saying is that I should've called you?”
“Dakota!” Rae was scowling and apparently not interested in my attempts to lighten her mood.
“Why are you so mad about this?” I asked, feeling a bit out of sorts. The intensity of her emotions was more than I had anticipated from her.
“Because this is a big deal!” She barked back loudly. I shushed her again, motioning with my hands for her to “keep it down,” causing her to look around a bit. She lowered her volume and said again, tightly, “This is a big deal.”
“Yeah, I'm gathering that. I'm sorry; you're probably right, but -” I started to respond, but my words instantly offended Rae.
“Probably?” she snapped at me. “Definitely!”
“Okay, okay,” I conceded. “I definitely should have called you, but it was late and I was still trying to process everything myself.”
Rae gave me a thoughtful, though pouty look. I knew that Rae wasn't really angry with me; just hurt. She wanted to see Chris and I get together almost as much I did, so I guess I understood why she was eager to have had the news.
“Did you say anything to Georgia or Carolina?”
“No,” I reassured her. “Like I said, I was trying to process it all myself. Besides, I wanted to talk to you first.”
“Really?” Rae asked quietly.
“Really,” I confirmed.
Rae seemed to be appeased knowing that I hadn't share my important news with anyone else. Her wounds were instantly mended when she realized that she was the first to know about Chris and me. I couldn't help smiling at her and of course, she couldn't help smiling in response.
“So,” she hunched towards me with anticipation, “What was it like? Was it everything you dreamt it would be?”
I nodded excitedly and bit my lower lip. Just thinking about Chris touching me made my heart race and I felt giddy. I wasn't sure when I'd see Chris again, but I hoped it would be soon. I was glad that I only had one other class today because my concentration was completely shot.
Rae was giggling at my reaction. “You're all red and you haven't stopped smiling, so I know it was great. I'm so happy for you!”
I knew that Rae was sincere in her happiness for me. Rae truly wished the best for everyone and she never felt jealous of other people's blessings. She was so easy-going and just took life as it came to her. She wasn't always happy and things were far from perfect in her life, but she chose to look at the good and to quickly move beyond any bad.
“Thanks,” I beamed. “It was. It really was great.”
“So does this mean you're a couple now?” she inquired.
“I really don't know for sure,” I answered honestly. “I hope so, but I was too shocked to ask and then we were with my family. I'm almost afraid to bring it up though. What if he feels like he made a mistake?”
“He doesn't,” Rae reassured me, completely confident in her answer.
“But he might,” I countered.
“No, he won't. He has loved you almost as long as you've been in love with him.”
“Okay, now I know you're just bullshitting me,” I accused.
“No,” Rae smiled, shaking her head lightly. “Ugh, people can be so stupid. Dakota, think it through, honey. Chris gets just as excited to see you and share things with you as you do him. He was just waiting for you to be old enough to be ready for a serious relationship.”
“No,” I said, unwilling to accept Rae's assessment of the situation. I wanted to believe her, but I just couldn't see. I couldn't fathom any reason why Chris would choose to be with me, let alone wait for me. “No, that's ridiculous.”
“You're ridiculous,” Rae laughed, “and blind.”
“Whatever,” I replied and quickly moved to change the subject of our conversation. I'd think about what she said later, when I could focus on it better. “How was the party? Did you go with Travis?”
“Oh!” Rae exploded in excitement and bounced a bit in her chair, ready to share her news. “The party was fantastic! I didn't know what to expect since it was on a Thursday night, but it was great. I swear, everyone was there.”
“I think it was smart of Alex to have his party on a week night since most of us work on the weekends,” I commented.
“Yeah, I guess,” Rae said pensively before she jumped into more details. “I didn't go with Travis; he can bite me with his “toddler” act. I know he likes me, but I don't want to play stupid games like that. Anyways, I went with Jenny, but I got driven home by Alex.”
Rae was smiling and her eyes were light up, but she seemed a little nervous too. I could tell she was waiting for my reaction to her admission. I was fully aware of the correct response she hoped to elicit from me too.
“Alex?” I asked enthusiastically. “Wow! How'd that happen?”
“I'm not sure,” Rae replied. “We started talking and then one thing lead to another. We ended up spending the whole night together. He drove me home early this morning, just in time to shower and change for school.”
“Wow,” I exclaimed, truly surprised. “What did your parents say?”
“To use protection,” she replied.
“Rae!” I scolded.
I knew that she was only kidding, but still! She should be careful saying such things in school because you never knew who might be listening. Whether it was true or not, people loved gossip.
“What do you think they said?” she amended her reply. “They were sleeping, silly.”
“And did you get kissed goodnight – or rather good morning?” I teased. I already knew the answer by the look on her face.
“Hell yeah and what a kiss it was! The second and third and even the fifteenth kiss was amazing!” It was nice to see Rae so exuberant.
Rae was such a collected person. She always seemed to have control of her emotions, even during her occasional hot flashed of anger, and those emotions always erred on the bright side of things. She was fully aware of the capricious and volatile nature of humans, but she never let it stop her from enjoying life. She just embraced all things with this unfaltering resiliency and undying humor.
Rae was anything, b
ut naïve. If anyone was naïve, it was most certainly me, though I knew that my lack of experience in life hasn't protected my innocence. My parents never pussy-footed around anything. They were straight-shooters and they wanted their daughters to be fully aware of the potential of the world; good and bad. Still, I felt they were a bit dramatic in their views.
Rae loved my family and she spent most of her time with us. She ate up all the conspirator theories and philosophies my parents spewed. I wasn't always sure how much she believed, but I knew that she thought they were interesting, if not factual. I appreciated her enthusiasm and her easy manner because it meant she tolerated the craziness of my unconventional life and family dynamics.
“Did you get kisses, too?” Rae inquired with a sly smile.
Though there really wasn't much to say, I wasn't sure if I was ready to share all the details of this momentous moment of my life and relationship with Chris. It still felt so intimate and personal to me that I wanted to protect it a little longer. I felt like I needed to sort things out with Chris before I gave anything away, but it was Rae and I knew she'd treasure my secret moment as much as I did.
“No,” I told her honestly. “We only kissed at the garage and then it was like normal after that. I doubt you'd even guess anything happened, if you'd have seen us afterwards.”
“Huh,” Rae commented thoughtfully. “Weird.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I don't know what it means or if anything has changed between us.”
“Why didn't you just ask him?” Rae questioned.
Rae was pretty direct, though not as abrupt or blunt as my oldest sister, Georgia. Still, she had a lot in common with my sister in the fact that they never made excuses for who they were. They didn't play games with people and they didn't tolerate people trying to play games with them. They were both willing to take people for who they were, but in turn, they expected the same level of tolerance.
I couldn't blame them for that. Hell, I admired their courage to stand true to their convictions! I wasn't that brave. I didn't ever compromise who I was, but I often held my tongue, choosing not to feed conflict. I guess I was more like my mom in that respect than my dad.
A Ripple of Fear (Fear of Dakota #1) Page 5
