Both Georgia and I instantly lost all of our fight. We looked down guiltily. I hated to upset my parents and I really hadn't meant any disrespect. I loved my folks and I knew they meant well. I just got tired of the same song playing over and over; change the record already!
“I'm sorry, dad,” I commented sadly. “I didn't mean to be rude.”
“I know, honey,” my dad said winking at me. “It's okay.”
“I'm sorry, too,” Georgia added. “I know you can handle things. I just got angry.”
“Angry or not, you don't attack your sister,” our dad said looking pointedly at Georgia who was no longer being restrained by his arm, but rather, embraced in a sideways half hug. Georgia's entire body spoke her repentance without words.
“I wasn't going to hurt her,” Georgia said quietly. She hated seeing our parents disprovable with any of us, but it was incredibly hurtful to her when she was the cause of it.
“I know,” our father said as he wrapped both of his arms around her, “but Dakota may not have.”
Our mother walked over and brushed Georgia's hair back from her face so she could kiss her cheek. “You don't need to intimidate your sisters. You're a strong young woman and if you give into your anger, you could hurt someone unintentionally.”
Georgia nodded solemnly. Our mom pulled Georgia into an embrace and our dad turned towards me again and said, “You girls are capable of more than you know. Everything you do affects the world around you, so you need to be aware. You need to act responsibly, putting thought before word or deed. Do you understand?”
We all nodded and expelled various comments to denote our comprehension.
“Good,” dad responded.
“Finding balance in life is the hardest thing you'll ever do, but you must,” our mom informed us. “That includes finding your balance between thinking and acting.”
“There may come a time when you'll need to hold yourself in check, when logic needs to supersede emotion,” our dad told us. “There may come a time when your life depends on your ability to manage your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.”
I wanted to roll my eyes again, but I didn't want to be discourteous nor did I want to refuel my sister's anger. I understood that my parents just wanted what was best for me and they wanted me to be as equipped as possible for taking charge of my life, no matter how my life panned out. I just got tired of hearing all the doom and gloom. Did they really believe people were so bad?
I understood that there was a dark side to humanity; after all, we are basic primates, right? We have animal instincts and primal urges just like every other creature. I also understood history; the rise and fall of societies. So many great civilizations came and went, but could that really happen in today's world? Could society as a whole really collapse?
I knew we could see some degrading of our country's infrastructure because we needed to reinvest in our roads, bridges, and structures. I acknowledged that, like humans, technology was also flawed; glitches and viruses could cause interruptions, not to mention power source considerations. Still, did my parents really expect to see the whole country crumble? I mean, wouldn't other countries try to help us out the way we helped them?
“If you're ever in a crisis, you need be ruled by logic and intellect, not by emotion. You'll have strength in your ability to remain calm and level-headed,” our dad told us.
“And don't put your 'eggs all in the same basket', as the saying goes,” our mom included. “You need to be sure you see all aspects and plan for the unexpected.”
“Wow, you guys get so serious,” Rae chuckled. “I love it. The most intense conversations my parents ever have are about their 401Ks and how they're planning to pay for college for my brother and me.”
Rae's father, Timothy was an auto insurance agent so he was really big on planning for the future. His idea of preparing for the future was to insured everything you had, live within your means, and to save your money like a squirrel preparing for winter. He wasn't an outdoorsman by any stretch of the imagination, so it was pretty comical to even consider seeing him hanging out with my dad for more than a shared school event or something mundane like that.
“We do that, too,” our mom, Virginia said with a warm smile. “We just go a little further is all.”
“We see the skills we give the girls as an investment in their futures just as much as monetary ones,” our dad replied.
“Groovy,” Rae acknowledged. “I get that.”
I smiled at Rae in appreciation and I believed she really did get it. Actually, there were times when I thought she got it more than I did. Maybe it was just that she accepted it all more than I did? Of course, if she had to actively participate in some of the things we had to, she'd probably have a change of heart. It might seem cool from her perspective, but it sort of sucks sometimes from mine.
“Hey, I have an idea,” Rae said excitedly. “Why don't we play that war game you guys do? It's like “tag” or “60”, but so much cooler!”
“Yeah,” I chimed in happily. I enjoyed the war games we played as a family too. “That would be really fun, I think.”
“Yeah, it would,” Chris added to the conversation, causing my heart to almost explode from my chest. He was standing just outside the screen door at the rear of our house where the kitchen was located. Apparently, no one had noticed his approach.
“Chris!” Rae and my sisters bellowed in greeting.
“Come on in, boy,” my dad called to Chris, who readily obliged.
“Have you eaten yet?” mom asked Chris, already getting up to dish him a plate.
Chris stopped her from getting out of her chair by laying a gentle hand on her shoulder and kindly pushing her back down. “Don't get up. I got it,” he said, much to my parents delight.
Chris walked over to the stove and served himself a plateful. He was always receptive to trying the different meals we had in our household. He was an avid outdoorsman so he was comfortable with eating off the land. I liked that about him and I liked that he didn't look at us like we were freaks for being unconventional.
“How's David doing?” my dad inquired as he roughly shook hands with Chris and patted his back in salutations.
“Good,” Chris answered. “Thanks for asking.”
“Did you get your truck fixed?” Georgia asked Chris, as she resumed eating.
“Yeah, I sure did. I just had to put new tires on,” Chris told her in reply. “Did you still want me to look at your carburetor?”
“Yes, that's be great,” she answered, shifting her chair over so Chris could sit down at the table comfortably.
“Cool,” Chris said, winking at me from across the table. “Bring it over next Saturday, alright?”
“Sure, sure,” Georgia said.
“What about the game?” Rae inquired, trying to refocus us all.
“You really want to play?” Carolina wondered.
“Hell, yeah!” Rae said with renewed enthusiasm. “Don't you?”
“Yeah, sure,” Carolina said noncommittally. “Why not?”
As my loved ones discussed the plans for our pending war game, I focused on trying to calm my racing pulse. I hoped the burning in my cheeks wasn't obvious, but I couldn't be certain. I had an inkling that everyone was just being kind and avoiding the need to look directly at me; giving me time to gain control of my emotions before engaging me in conversation.
Chris's arrival seemed to emphasize my parents lecture for me. I had a new understanding as to what they were trying to say about finding balance and managing your feelings and behavior. Suddenly, their words had more valuable than before Chris appeared and I found myself wishing it was a skill I'd already mastered.
Though all barriers had vanished between Chris and me, my nerves didn't seem to relax any. I always felt like my body was tingling from the current of excitement that invaded me so thoroughly whenever he was near me. Though we hadn't had sex, I knew that my sensations were more than sexual energy. It was more like some
part of me had been missing or dormant; a part that was only filled or awoken by the presence of Chris. It was like he completed me and brought me to life.
I hadn't noticed that before. I wasn't sure what changed to make me realize it now, but something had changed. It was like we were somehow tethered to one another with the admission of our truest feelings. I no longer hoped to see Chris because I carried him with me. When I experienced something, it was with him in mind, as though I saw things through his point of view and not just my own.
I couldn't wait to share things with Chris, to hear his opinions and insights about… everything. It was almost like I was seeing life with new eyes and from a new perspective. It didn't seem to distract from me, but rather, it was like it enriched my existence; expanding my sight and appreciation. Somehow, the emotional bond that connected me to Chris seems to make me more alive.
“Who's on what team?” Georgia asked, drawing me back to the present.
“Let's play our normal teams; John and I against you kids?” my mother suggested.
“That seems fair,” my dad concurred. “After all, we have more experience than they do.”
“That's true,” Chris agreed. Rae and Carolina were nodding in assent.
“Sounds good,” Georgia determined things settled, but she still looked at me expectantly, waiting for a response.
At first I was a bit unsure, not having been fully involved in the current conversation due to my internal monologue, but then I caught on. “Yeah, that's perfect.”
As soon as Chris was done eating, we commenced the game by convening in the backyard to go over the rules and objectives. We played the game a few different ways, but tonight we decided to play it the “regular” way. This way was most similar to the game “60,” which my parents played growing up; a rendition of “tag” and “hide and seek” combined.
What would happen was that we'd all start at the same location, a few miles from the house. Tonight we'd begin at the VAMC where my mom worked. After giving us a three minute head start, mom and dad would pursue us as we all made our way back to the house. The house would be “safe” and whoever reached it first won.
There were different strategies to playing, at least as far as my parents were concerned. My parents could either pursue us, trying to catch us before we could make it to “safety” or they could race back home for the win. If they raced back home, they'd win because that would mean we had no way of reaching our “goal” without being discovered. Since the idea was to get past them undetected, their arrival before us meant instant defeat.
Sometimes we would change it up a bit and my parents would tie some of us up, like prisoners. Those kept “hostage” would be placed in the open garage. They would try to escape while the rest of the team tried to rescue them without detection. Our parents would be the “captors” and would patrol an area around our property, trying to catch us before we could escape or recover one another.
Our “war games” were designed by our dad to teach us how to elude and escape capture. This meant that our parents were always the ones taking the role of “attacker”. It was a fun way to practice our skills while getting exercise and spending family time together. It was extremely unconventional in some ways, but absolutely normal in others. No matter what you thought of it, we always enjoyed playing the games.
I couldn't imagine – or at least I didn't want to try to imagine – a world where I'd need the valuable skills these “games” gave me. As I lay prone in a dark shadow that hid me in plain sight, I watched my parents go past. This was a tactical move on our part as it let our team know what our parents planned to do: race back to home or search for us. It was obvious that my parents intended to hunt us down.
“How did you learn to hide like this?” Rae asked me from the darkness beside me.
“Really?” I teased her, gesturing towards my parents who had moved further up the road from us.
Rae huffed a little and I knew she was rolling her eyes at me, though I couldn't see her face. “You know what I mean,” she said in an exasperated tone.
From where I lay, I could see Chris shadowed in a tree across the road and two houses up. I also knew that Georgia was on top of a garage a block up the street and my parents were closing in on her location. Carolina was in the bushes across from Georgia's vantage point.
“Let me rephrase that,” Rae commented. “If they taught you to hide like this, then way don't they just check for you here?”
“It's not that easy. There are so many different places to camouflage yourself. They just don't have the resources to search them all,” I explained. “They'll keep a sharp eye out for any motion or listen for any disruptions in sound.”
“Disruptions in sound?” Rae wanted to know as I moved into a crouched position.
“Yeah, you know, like dogs barking or twigs breaking,” I replied. Just then, Chris jumped from the tree he'd taken refuge in and darted across the street towards us. As he did so, a car passing by that was full of some teenage kids who began hooting and hollering at Chris. “Or dumbasses screaming at you for startling them.”
When I saw Chris freeze, partially hunched down on the sidewalk, my heart began to race. He briefly looked at us and then took off in the other direction. I heard my parents' footfalls beating towards us and though I hoped they'd follow Chris, I didn't trust that to be the case.
“Come on!” I ordered Rae, tugging at her and then racing to the shadows behind us. I could hear Georgia and Carolina calling to my parents as a distraction so that Chris could get away. As long as my parents didn't touch Chris then the game was still in play. This was a concept similar to “tag.”
We ducked behind some shrubbery next to Alex's house and I heard the shouts of my family as they blended into the cackling of the teenagers who'd called attention to Chris in the first place. I was about to pull Rae with me into the alley and book it towards home, but Alex was sitting in his yard with Travis, a mutual acquaintance we knew was named, Chaz, and a couple of random girls. Though I didn't expect to see them, I held my cool and refused to let them deter me from my mission. Rae, on the other hand, looked like she was about to explode.
“What the hell is this?” she demanded to know as she stormed forward to where Alex was sitting on a lawn chair with some scantily clad chick on his lap.
“Oh, hey, baby,” Alex tried to seem smooth, but missed the mark completely. He attempted to shove the girl off his lap, but she threw a fit and tried to stay put, clinging onto him like a monkey.
“Don't you 'hey, baby me,' you cheater!”
I knew there was no stopping Rae now so I just resigned myself to deal with whatever was about to transpire. Just as Chris and my sisters were on their own with the outcome of the war game, we were alone with whatever fight was about to ensue. I knew we could handle ourselves, but I just dreaded conflict in general.
“Don't get all bitchy!” Alex said, getting angry in response to Rae's anger.
“Then don't be a prick and get that whore off your lap!” Rae retorted hotly.
“Hey!” The scantily clad girl complained mildly while the others present laughed uncomfortably. “You gonna let her talk to me like that?”
“Shut up, Margo,” Alex snapped, finally succeeding in knocking her to the ground as he jumped to his feet to face Rae. I instinctively moved closer to Rae, feeling protective and charged with the energy of angry surging through the air.
“Baby,” Alex tried to sooth her. “I'm just hanging out with my boys, having a few beers around the fire pit.”
“Whatever,” Rae told him. “You don't need to try to explain anything. I can see with my own two eyes what you're trying to do.”
“So you know you're -” Alex tried to sweet talk Rae and as he moved to touch her, acting like he was going to try to kiss her neck, Rae punched him dead in the face, breaking his nose and flooding his hands and face with blood.
“Save it, asshole,” she told him as Margo ran to his side, kneeling beside him w
here he crumpled to the ground. “We're done.”
“Fuck you, Rae!” Alex hollered at her through blood and tears. Margo was trying to comfort him, but he was trying to swat her away.
“Never again, Alex. Never again,” Rae told him in no uncertain terms. “Lose my number or I'll finish what I started here tonight.”
“Damn, girl,” Travis jeered.
“Did you see her just fuckin' hit him?” Chaz was saying with amusement to one of the random girls cowering at his side. He burst out in laughter, totally unaffected by the whole confrontation. “Shit, man, she laid you out!”
Travis couldn't help laughing at Chaz' reaction, but I could see he was uncomfortable. He looked at me and took a step toward us, but I shook my head at him, stopping him in his spot. He lamely called out, “Rae, you okay?”
Rae ignored him and I threw a weak wave way as we left the chaotic and rude group behind us. Rae was enraged and as she stormed away, I followed closely on her heels. She stalked back in the direction of my house, trying to regain her composure, all thoughts of the war game forgotten. What had started out as a fun night had taken a horrific and unexpected turn for the worse.
Rae was stomping along and taking deep breaths. She was shaking her hands out intermittently and I knew she was keyed up with excess energy from the adrenaline that was most certainly surging through her body. I wanted to say something to her, but I was still in shock and at a complete loss as to what to do about the situation.
“You tried to warn me,” Rae said angrily. “You told me to be careful and not to jump into anything, but I didn't listen.”
I just walked quickly beside her. I wasn't the type of person to be all “I told you so” and I hated that Rae was doing it to herself. She was a good person and she didn't deserve to be treated the way she had. Still, she was better off without someone like Alex. He was such a tool!
I was determined not to say anything that would be hurtful or in any way critical. Reminding Rae that she had made her mistakes before asking my opinion wasn't going to make her feel any better, so I just let her talk. She needed to work through her feelings and I knew that ranting a bit was a part of that vital process.
A Ripple of Fear (Fear of Dakota #1) Page 10
